Sorting Algorithm of Mortality/WMG/Literature

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.



Wild Mass Guesses about the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality in Literature. See Sorting Algorithm of Mortality/WMG for the entry key for the lists.

James Bond

Someday there'll be that one bullet, knife, poison dart, or killer shoe that gets him......

  1. Row 1: Age: Single Adult. There was his ten-second marriage in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, but yeah. 3.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Definitely straight. That bit with him emerging from the sea in Casino Royale does not count. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Temporary. Bond Girls and everything......4.
  4. Row 4: Role: The Hero. 1.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian, obviously. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Fashionably Scarred. There's one on his face and another on his hand, but neither prevent all them Bond Girls from wanting to get into his pants...2.
  7. Row 7: Personality: Tough one. He's a mix between The Captain and a Crazy Survivalist. Average: 4.
  8. Row 8: Flaws: None of them really. 1 I guess....
  9. Row 9: Virtues: Smart and Genre Savvy at times. 3.
  10. Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
  11. Row 11: Occupation: Adventurer is the closest. 2.
    • Total divided by rows: 27/11 = 2.45. He'll live for now.

Stationery Voyagers

  • Rhodney Antilles
    • Age: Single adult (Single, until he meets Melanie anyway.)- 3
    • Orientation: Quite straight, but avoids relationships until he meets Melanie. - 1.5
    • Love interest by genre: It's pretty much a comic book. - 1
    • Role: The Lancer - 1.
    • Racial culture: Pretty close to white, with the Statonian government being slightly Mormon-esque. - 1
    • Aesthetics: Hard to tell, really. His simvatar (Interpreter-projected human simulation avatar) reveals that he'd be more or less a JC Penny model. - 1
    • Personality: Probably closest to being a Jerk with a Heart of Gold, but the jerk part would be more an Informed Flaw than anything else. - 2
    • Virtue: Pragmatic. - 4
    • Species: Up-Pen. - 3
    • Occupation: Diplomat-explorer. Pretty close at times to an Adventurer Archeologist. So a 2.
      • Total divided by rows: 21.5/10 = 2.15. No sense killing him off until he's had more Character Development.
  • Sylvia Martius
    • Age: Child - 1
    • Orientation: Straight - 2
    • Love interest by genre: It's pretty much a comic book. - 1
    • Role: Littlest Cancer Patient - 1.
    • Racial culture: Highly Caucasian, of the Eastern European flavor. - 1
    • Aesthetics: A 12-year-old albino. - 1
    • Personality: Friend to All Living Things. - 1
    • Virtue: The Pollyanna. - 1
    • Species: Mosquatlon (Vampire). - 3
    • Occupation: Closest to an Innocent Bystander. So a 3.
      • Total divided by rows: 14/10 = 1.4. Sun allergy aside, she's not dying any time soon.
  • Viola Hunt
    • Age: Single adult (Single, until she meets Oceanoe anyway.)- 3
    • Orientation: Straight. - 1.5
    • Love interest by genre: It's pretty much a comic book. - 1
    • Role: Sixth Ranger - 3.
    • Racial culture: Ghetto black-esque. - 5
    • Aesthetics: Hard to tell, but her simvatar reveals a hot black chick who's pretty much JC Penny model material. - 1
    • Personality: Abrasive. - About a 4.5
    • Virtue: Action Girl. - 2
    • Species: Gel Pen. - 3
    • Occupation: Diplomat-explorer. - 2
      • Total divided by rows: 26/10 = 2.6. She'll live for now.
  • Esmeralda Starr
    • Age: Single adult - 3
    • Orientation: Straight. Chaste more because of circumstance than by choice. - 2
    • Love interest by genre: It's pretty much a comic book. - 1
    • Role: The Chick - 2.
    • Racial culture: White. - 1
    • Aesthetics: She's green. Her simvatar reveals that she'd be make a great Green-Skinned Space Babe. - 2
    • Personality: None of the above descriptions necessarily apply, but she is usually good-natured. - 1
    • Species: Metallic Gel Pen. - 3
    • Occupation: Diplomat-explorer - 2.

A Song of Ice and Fire

Danaerys

    • Age: Protagonist teens; 2
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight; 3
    • Role: The Hero; 1
    • Race: White; 1
    • Aesthetics: Hottest thing alive, 1
    • Personality: The Captain; 2
    • Virtues: Action Girl; 2
      • Final Score: 1.714. Maybe anyone can die, but Dany's sticking around for a while.

Now let's see a character most fans want to see very dead:

Ramsay Bolton

    • Age: single adult, though technically married: 3
    • Sexual Orientation: technically straight, 3
    • Role: Complete Monster, 5
    • Race: White, 1
    • Aesthetics: not an attractive guy. 5.
    • Personality: sadist. 4.
    • Flaws: Have I mentioned that he's a sadist? Also, too many others to count. 5
    • "Virtues": He's pretty pragmatic at torture. 5.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: Villain by default, 5
      • Final score: 39/10=3.9 - hope for the best

And everyone's favorite Affably Evil Littlefinger:

    • Age: single adult, 3
    • Sexual Orientation: straight, 3
    • Role: villain AND Obi-Wan, 5
    • Race: White, 1
    • Aesthetics: Average, 3
    • Personality: Magnificent Bastard, Manipulative Bastard, 4
    • Flaws: Megalomania, inferiority complex, greed. 5.
    • "Virtues": Smart, savvy, 3
    • Species: Human, 3
    • Occupation: Mentor and villain, 5
      • Final score: 35/10 = 3.5 - better chances than Ramsay Snow, but still has to be careful.
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