Sports Center/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


The This Is Sports Center ads created from the mid-90s onward are 30 seconds of sports-related parody, some bordering on comedic genius.

  • Any ad that featured boxing analyst and anchorman Charley Steiner. To wit:
    • The ad where ESPN tested their Y 2 K upgrades... which crashes everything, starting a mass riot throughout the headquarters and ending with a shot of Charley - with warrior makeup, his tie on his head, and carrying an old-style lantern - screaming at the camera "FOLLOW ME! FOLLOW ME TO FREEDOM!"
    • The ad spoofing blockbuster trades, with ESPN trading with TV show Melrose Place. ESPN gets Andrew Shue, who handles anchoring duties with skill... and Melrose gets Charley, who gets cast as the new pool boy.
  • The ad where a rookie anchorman "flames out" during his first day on the job (spoofing rookie athletes who turn pro too soon).
  • The ad of the Manning family getting a tour of the office - with Peyton and Eli poking at each other the way bored brothers do. They stop when their old man Archie gives them a silent glare...
  • Any ad involving mascot abuse.
    • Except for the one where Steve Irwin wrestles the Florida alligator mascot... it's more sad now than funny.
    • The mascot for Western Kentucky - basically a red blob - unable to figure out if it uses either the Men's or Women's bathroom.
    • Anchors are seen spouting gibberish, until a reveal of backstage shows the Red Sox mascot was covering for the teleprompter guy.
  • The ad spoofing rainouts.
  • Dan Patrick working late sees the power go off. He storms through an empty building down to the generator... where he asks bicyclist Lance Armstrong to keep pedaling on his bike to keep the generator running.
    • Danica Patrick having her race car towed from Dan Patrick's space.
  • Old-timers Day.
  • Albert Pujols denying he's a machine... all the while giving the audience a Terminator POV.

Photocopier: Why didn't you eliminate them, Albert?

Pujols: Shut up.

  • Russian hockey player Alex Ovechkin as a spy leafing through ESPN's files.
  • The Oregon Ducks mascot getting tired working in his cubicle, turns and looks at the real ducks in a nearby pond, and sighs.
  • Arnold Palmer actually making an Arnold Palmer (iced tea and lemonade, for those who aren't aware) in the ESPN cafeteria. The best part: they Don't Explain the Joke.
  • Stephen King, longtime Boston Redsox fan, gets in on the action. "No players with telekinetic powers" indeed...
  • Tim Lincecum trying to record a voicemail message, which ends in the most bizarre Strange Minds Think Alike moment in a commercial ever.
  • The Stanford Tree listening in as a baseball player explains how bats are made from trees in excruciating details, with the mascot passing out at the end.
  • LaDanian Tomlinson having a hard time getting everyone's mail in the right cubicle, due to his ever-present visor in his football helmet.
  • Stan Verrett thinking twice about getting on an elevator with the New Jersey Devils mascot.

Stan: Going up?

  • Devil shakes head*
  • Stan steps out of elevator*
  • The Devils and Penguins mascots each messing with the office thermostat to their preferred preference, much to the annoyance of Linda Cohn.
  • John Anderson turning away coworkers to sit next to him in the cafeteria as he's saving it for Stu Scott. Until Maria Sharapova comes along.
  • World-famous mascot San Diego Chicken goes about the offices pulling pranks... and later takes off the mask revealing mild-mannered Pete Sampras.
  • Due to all the knee and ankle injuries around the headquarters, Sports Center decides to switch to natural turf. Complete with sprinklers and lawn mower running in the background.
  • David Ortiz (Boston) makes the mistake of fixing Jorge Posada's (Yankees) hat by wearing it... just as the Red Sox mascot walks by and thinks the worst.
  • Kenny Mayne and Dan Patrick having to tape the show for overseas markets. All together now: "Buenes noches, amigos. Me llamo Kenny Mayne."
  • Bob Ley and Keith Olbermann interview basketball star-turned-Senator Bill Bradley about being a Sports Center anchor. "I meant a large audience."
  • The clip of anchor Charley Steiner's reaction to track star Carl Lewis butchering the National Anthem...as written by Francis Scott OFF-Key!
  • During a 1995 edition, fill-in anchor Steve Levy is reading a story about New England Patriots cornerback Maurice Hurst suing the team for cutting him while injured (an NFL no-no) and he gets to the specific injury and says a term for an erection instead of a "bulging disc". Hilarity Ensues, as Levy struggles to finish the segment (with no help whatsoever from Keith Olbermann).