Star Trek: First Contact/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • A large portion of Zephram Cochrane's scenes, but especially:

Geordi: (engages in long spiel about Cochrane's magnificent standing in 24th century history, and the giant, inspirational statue of him that will stand right where he is standing now)
Cochrane: (Beat) ...I gotta take a leak.
Geordi: Leak? I don't see any leak.

Cochrane: Don't you people in the 24th century ever pee?

    • Its also funny as part of Trek's subtle running gag of referring to the original Enterprise's comical lack of bathrooms.
  • "You told him about the statue?"
  • Drunken Troi.

Deanna: Time line?! This is no time to argue about time! We don't have the time!... Look, he wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out he was the one we're looking for. And I spent the last 20 minutes trying to keep his hands off me. So don't go criticizing my counseling technique... It's a primitive culture...I'm just trying to blend in.
Riker: You're blended, all right.
Deanna: What was I saying? *thud*

    • According to director (and cast member) Jonathan Frakes, Drunken Troi is worth the price of admission alone.
  • Cochrane's initial reaction to the situation:

Cochrane: Hot damn, you're heroic! *laughs*

    • After Cochrane becomes convinced of the truth, Riker goes on to explain how the approaching aliens will detect his warp flight and "land right here."

Cochrane: Here?
LaForge: Actually, over there.

  • The Doctor gets probably the funniest Facing the Bullets One-Liner ever. "According to Starfleet medical research, Borg implants can cause severe skin irritation."
  • Lily: Borg? Sounds Swedish...
    • Later... "Definitely not Swedish."
  • Worf's arrival to the bridge gives Riker a couple funny one-liners.

"Tough little ship."
"You do remember how to fire phasers?"