Starkit's Prophecy

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
For the record, nothing as down-to-earth as StarKit's face emerging from a circle in the sky happens in this fanfiction[1].

"And he held out... SOME JEW!"

Starkit's Prophecy is a completed Warrior Cats Fanfic that chronicles the life of StarGleam, StarClan's chosen one, from her apprentice ceremony onward. She deals with such trials and tribulations as a Love Dodecahedron with Firestar, Graystripe, Blackstar, Hawkfrost, and Ashfur; the threat of Hollyleaf and Tigerstar as they try to take over the forest; and attempting to convert the Clans to Christianity. Somewhere along the way she discovers that she (along with the author) is a lesbian, becomes leader of ThunderClan, and dies multiple times.

It is a full-on Random Events Plot. If you really feel you must attempt to make sense of it, go ahead and read it yourself -- but be warned, you may lose brain cells in the process.

Three amusing dramatic readings have surfaced so far. They can be found here (continued here), here, and here.

Arguably the Warriors equivalent of My Immortal. See also Hidden Prophices.

The author has also started a sequel, titled Starkit's Prophecy 2: The Two Siblings. A new Clan called MapleClan is introduced. Stargleam and some other characters from the first fic are in StarClan, and they receive a new prophecy to pass on to the Clans.

Tropes used in Starkit's Prophecy include:
  • Anatomically-Impossible Sex: Somehow, StarGleam has become PREGGANT by the also-female JazzSong. JazzSong even points out that this shouldn't be possible, but it's still not explained.
  • Ask a Stupid Question: After experiencing her own death, StarGleam needs to ask how she died. And then almost immediately afterwards has to ask if she is dead again.
    • '"who is StarGlaem" asked StarGleam'
  • Author Filibuster: Screw the plot, using two whole chapters to teach the Clans about how important it is to find StarClan (i.e. God) is much more important.
    • The author also goes out of her way to remind us that GleamStar and HawkFrost don't have sex before getting married.
    • It strays into straight Author Tract for a while, as for a long period of time the story is more about how "wrong" it is to be gay than any consistant plot element.
  • Aw, Look -- They Really Do Love Each Other: StarGleam and JazzStar in the finale.
  • Badass Preacher: StarGleam: "ACCEPT JESUS MOTHERFUCKERS!"
  • Back from the Dead: StarGleam (twice), AshFir, and all the cats listed under Unexplained Recovery.
    • Although Tigerstar and Hawkfrost are both dead in canon, they both seem to be alive for the purposes of this fic.
  • Because Destiny Says So: Apparently, StarGleamStar has to become evil because "its my destinty I no that now."
    • When StarGleam begs FluffyKit not to die, he has this to say: "'I have tos tarGleam its my detsinty.'"
  • Beginner's Luck: Chapter three, in which Firestar praises Starpaw with words of wisdom: "The last cat i new that culd fiht lik that was SandStrom. Your a good fihter"
  • Beige Prose: Especially early in the story.... "The cats gathered around a pool. They all looked into it eagerly. A dark shape appeared on the surface. A blue she cat looked up. Her eyes were bright."
  • Big OMG: "OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED.
  • Big Word Shout: There's one on nearly every page.
  • Big Yes: "YESSSASSSSS"
  • Black Comedy Rape: BlackStar's "MOLE STRAEP" of StarPaw in chapter five comes across this way unintentionally.
  • Broken Aesop: Apparently, being "unfateful to our mat" is okay as long as it's StarGleam doing it.
  • Cain and Abel: TigerKit and FluffyKit.
  • CamelCase: In the original series, the "Clan" in ThunderClan is always capitalized, whereas the suffixes of the names never are. This fanfic inverts that, other than the occasional mistake which corrects the original mistake.
  • Captain Obvious: "You see there is this prophcy Starcaln gave me it said out of the darkness, stars will come and get rid of the evil tiger and holly." StarPaw gasped. "What does it mean?"
  • Cargo Ship: In-Universe. Jayfeather mentions being in love with a stick, meaning the author has decided to make Jay×Stick canon. This is probably the only Canon Defilement that most fans won't object to, since a lot of them already ship him and the stick anyway.
  • Cast from Hit Points: StarGleam's final attack on the villains.
  • Chest Burster: StarGleam gives birth to kits through a "BRAKE in her stomchi", with hefty doses of You Fail Biology Forever.
    • This is taken up a notch in the Christmas Special, where the birth of Starkit is shown. The scene plays out exactly like the birth of Jesus. This quote from the chapter says it all: "This is our savor." said Bluesatr. "We know it. We sae t in the stars. Starkit will ne JESUSS!1!1!1!11"
  • Clueless Aesop: The author's attempts to teach us that BENG GAY!f is wrong. And the evangelism.
  • Comically Missing the Point: 'Also im not a torll!1 ppl tell me Im ver petty!'
    • Also in 'Chatper Forr GayStripe'

"OMIGOSH U MEAN LIKE SCOURG?" STARPAW SHOCKED. 'No ur much prtter then sourg' said Graystripe

  • Conflict Ball: Three toms decide they want StarPaw for themselves, leaving StarPaw upset and indecisive about which one to like.
    • Now with the added conflict that she seems to be in love with Hawkfrost and she doesn't want to be (even though she seems perfectly fine with other cats WHO ALREADY HAVE MATES liking her...)
      • But this gets resolved when she just becomes Hawkfrost's mate anyway, without any complaints at all.
    • Now Ashfur is after her, too.
  • Crack Fic
  • Crossover: Given the geographical and species barriers, the HoBare may be the closest we'll get to having a Warrior Cats/Seekers crossover.
  • Curb Stomp Battle: Every single "fight" consists of one character running towards another character, and the other character dying.
  • Dear Negative Reader: Nearly every chapter.

flamrs ur all satanits!11 anyon who dosent like the stro is a staneist cause StarGIPaw has such a strng conecton with sTarcaln and thats why you dot like it, its cause u do ntlik JEZUS!

  • Death Is Cheap: So far, every single character who has died has come back (with or without explanation).
  • Department of Redundancy Department: '"Gasped" gasped everyone.'
    • And '"Today is important today."'
    • 'Then they were in the Fark Forest. It was dark. Here was no mono 2 lighte the way and it wass heard to see.'
    • 'Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani' (Translation: Her rainbow eyes glowed like a rainbow)
    • 'it hert StarFleam! It hurt.'
    • 'StarPaw wondered threw the forst madly. She was anger.y.'
    • "She turned in…. A BARE!" One sentence later: "It was a bare!"
    • "'Hi she said.' 'Hi.' He said. 'Hi.' She rippled."
    • "GASP" GASPED THE ENTER CALN."
    • 'StarGlema the puprle cat / Was a vrey purpel cat'
    • At least one chapter has several lines of dialogue written twice in a row, word for word.
  • Diabolus Ex Machina: TigerStar and Hollyleaf suddenly show up at the end of GlaemStar's leadership ceremony and start causing trouble, until...
  • Don't Like, Don't Read: "OKKAY IF you dont LIKE thestor y you dont have to readit u know."
  • Dramatic Ellipsis: Frequently used, in much the same vein as My Immortal.
  • Dramatic Reading: All of which are Troper Works.
  • Dramatis Personae: The "Alliances" prologue.
  • Dull Surprise: After informing StarGleam of BlackStar's "swisscide" and observing her shocked reaction, all FireStar can say in response is...

FierStart: i know rite.

"'noooooo' said GleamStart. She was greif. Teras falled down her sparkling grey checks. The shoned like the sun on her spakling checks. Her reinbow eyes where glowed lick skys after rani.. It was beutifly thohth HawkForts."

"OMG A FEW DAYS SAID STARGLEMA HOW DID SHE NOT NKNOW THIS,. SHE SAID.

  1. ↑ ... until the epilogue, when it does
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