Super Drowning Skills/Quotes
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What the fuck, this girl's got tits! S-she can't float?
—PlayItBogart, Rollergames
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This guy can go all over fighting hordes of evil monsters, but he can't even fucking swim?
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"5...4...3...2...1...0"
—The infamous Sonic the Hedgehog drowning countdown
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How is Indiana Jones such a wimp that he can't set foot in water more shallow than a kiddie pool?
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"Finally, a hero in a sandbox game that can justify the fact that he can't swim"
—Ben "Yahtzee" Crowshaw, Zero Punctuation Reviews Infamous at the end credits
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"I am Isildur, King of Gondor! With the hilt-shard of Narsil, I cut the One Ring from Sauron's finger during the siege of Mordor. Oh! I stepped in a creek and died."
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"I'm a Warrior Hero Adventurer Goddess who CAN'T SWIM, OKAY?!"
—Skye of the Skittles promotional videogame Darkened Skye
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"If only we had some minions who could swim... or float... or not drown quite so quickly..."
—Overlord
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[Altair] has been hampered since birth with a genetic deformity that makes him water soluble.
—Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, Assassin's Creed 2 review
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"Don’t you know that you never learn to swim until the sequel?"
—Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons Game.
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Water: My arch nemesis!
—Quark, Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack In Time
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Oh, that's just great! I can run at supersonic speeds but I can't even get out of a kid's swimming pool? What the hell has Sonic Team been smoking all these years?
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You've obviously never seen turians swim. Lots of flailing and splashing interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning.
—Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect 3
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