Superbad/WMG

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Seth is gay.

Nearly half of all his dialogue is "Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?" and is insanely jealous when Evan spends time with anyone other than him. And then when he carries him home...

• Futhermore, Evan is aware of Seth's repressed sexuality, which is why he's so eager to go to college with Fogell instead.
• And the dicks.
• Also, in the unrated version, we have this line:

Evan: I mean, it's not like we do everything together. Seth: I gotta take a piss. Come on Evan, my dick isn't gonna shake itself!

• The "ten percent of kids do it" line about obsessively drawing penises sounds remarkably similar to the rumor that 10% of people are gay.

The cops are Seth and Evan from the future.

They've come into the past to help guide the three main characters in a coming of age story, as well as helping to strengthen Seth and Evan's friendship (particularly notable when they forces Seth and Evan to hold hands).

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<|Wild Mass Guessing|>