Surrounded by Idiots/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Dark Helmet: How many assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
(The entire bridge crew, except for one person, stands up and raises a hand.)
Entire Bridge Crew: Yo!

Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! (Closes helmet) Keep firing, assholes!
"He's as dumb as a bag of hammers, but he works cheap."
Dr. Insano about his new evil minion, Chester A. Bum.
"MORONS! I have MORONS on my payroll!"
Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe
"I'm surrounded by defective circuitry..."
"Why are evil geniuses always surrounded by fools?"
Digimon Emperor, Digimon Adventure 02
"I'm surrounded by idiots."
Scar, The Lion King
"Why don't I get any competent henchmen? I offer excellent health benefits, educational opportunities, even a direct share in the enterprise. I even have a Catch Phrase! How does he manage it with just inspirational speeches? Emotional logic is barely any logic at all..."
"Why must I constantly be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"
Doctor Evil, Austin Powers
"Like I said, I'll be famous one day, but for now, I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons."
Greg Heffley, Diary of a Wimpy Kid
"YOU'RE A STUPID INCOMPETENT! I WANT THAT DOCTOR!"
Tobias Vaughn, The Invasion
"Must I be the meat in an imbecile sandwich?"
"I am surrounded by traitors, and FOOLS!!"
Zoran Lazarevic, Uncharted 2

Anakin: So, what are you up to?

Grievous: My armpits in incompetence!
"If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again."
"Note to self: need to hire more henchmen. Good ones this time!"
"Morons! I'm surrounded by morons!"

Zeetha: She sounds like an idiot.
Gil: Well, yes, but never a malicious one.
Zeetha: Is that important?

Gil: Heavens, yes! If I let everyone I thought was an idiot die, there wouldn't be many people left.

Sador: What's WRONG is that I have an army full of GENETIC MISTAKES! Why can't my minions be sophisticated or intelligent, like... well, like ME?
Yago: You can't expect all of us to measure up to you, Sir.

Sador: Oh, don't flatter me!
"You are all INCOMPETENTS!"
"I know it's obvious I'm a genius, but is everyone else this stupid?"

Hedley: Now Repeat After Me: "I..."

Thugs: I...

Hedley: ...your name...

Thugs: Your name...

Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks...
  1. Though if you really think that one through, he's really saying he's the idiot...