That's So Raven/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.



Season One

Mother Dearest (2003) S1 Ep1

Eddie: (about Mr. Petracelli) That cracking thing he does with his neck is nasty. My grandmother does that with her toes.
Raven (to Eddie): Ok, my parents have to meet with Petracelli and they are going to freak! How am I going to tell them?
Eddie: Just fake being sick. They can't get mad if you're sick.
Raven: I stopped doing that kind of thing when I was 8. It's brilliant!
Eddie: (about Raven in her disguise) You don't even look like your mom. You look like you ate your mom.

Saturday Afternoon Fever (2003) S1 Ep2

Cory (to Raven): I need to use your bathroom.
Raven: Um, what's wrong with the one downstairs?
Cory: Dad just used that one.
Raven: Say no more!
Raven: I just had the best vision!
Eddie: Ooh, did it involve me and Hallie Berry?
Raven: No. I see things that are actually going to happen.

Wake Up, Victor (2003) S1 Ep3

Driven To Insanity (2003) S1 Ep4

Raven goes on a date with an older guy without her parents permission

Party Animal (2003) S1 Ep5

Raven: Dad, this part of my morning routine. Take a bath, brush my teeth, fight with Corey, eat a muffin.

Teach Your Children Well (2003) S1 Ep6

Raven's mother, Tanya, fills in as a substitute teacher in Raven's class

Raven: Ready, we're going in. [turns door knob] No we're not, it's locked!

A Fish Called Raven (2003) S1 Ep7

Raven: Fishy, Fishy, Fishy.....

--186.226.162.130 19:52, 9 January 2014 (UTC)--186.226.162.130 19:52, 9 January 2014 (UTC)=== Test Of Friendship (2003) S1 Ep8===

Eddie: Wait, wait, Rae Rae Did you have a vision? No, a vision about me dating a cheerleader? Or another cheerleader?
Raven: Eddie, I have visions, not fantasies.
Chelsea: [gasps] Raven!
Raven: [gasps] Oh! I have the answers to Eddie's test!
Chelsea: No, you said Didi! That's my aunts name!
Chelsea: So what do you want, Rae?
Raven: You know what? I want you to be the one who's psychic so I'll be the one asking you, "So, watcha gonna do?"
Chelsea: Oh. So, watcha gonna do?
Chelsea: Yeah! Who wants to go party with the boys when you can come over to Rae's and have a nice study party!
Eddie: [sarcastically] Yeah, and afterwards, maybe we can sit around, do each other's toenails, and share our feelings!
Raven: So, Chelsea, what are we playing for?
Chelsea: Yes, we're playing for a nice cold root beer! Courtesy of...your mom and dad! Yes, your mom and dad! Makers of you and Cory.
Cory: [speaking in Spanish] Stupido, stupido, stupido!
Senorita Rodriguez: [to window cleaner] You missed a spot! Still there! Still there! [cleaner gets frustrated]
Raven: I hear your students might be switching to French!
Senorita Rodriguez: French! I bet that new French teacher is behind this! Madam What's-Her-Face!
Raven: [trying to tell Eddie he got the wrong test] You see what happened is they gave your Uncle Louie the wrong test! You see, so they gave him a completely wrong test! So, he got a totally wrong test! You see? Comprende?
Eddie: [not understanding] I don't have and Uncle Louie.
Senorita Rodriguez: Raven, we're about to take a test!
Raven: But-
Senorita Rodriguez: Raven, Eddie obviously doesn't care about his Uncle Louie!
Senorita Rodriguez: Well, Eddie, you're done early.
Eddie: Yeah, well Spanish always comes easy to a brother.
Senorita Rodriguez: [speaks to him in Spanish]
Eddie: Uh...salsa?
Eddie: (sees Raven and Chelsea swinging outside) What are you doing?
Raven: (whispers) You got the....wrong answers.
Chelsea: (whisper) Your teacher...she changed the test!
Eddie: What?
Raven: Don't make us...
Chelsea: say it again.
Eddie: What am I gonna do? I don't know this stuff!
Raven: Just do...
Chelsea: the best...
Raven and Chelsea: you can!

Mother Dearest (2003) S1 Ep9

Raven: Excuse me, but I think mayonnaise in my sardine sandwich I had for lunch went BAD, so uh, I wanna apologize for any discomfort I might cause you young ladies. If you have perfume I'd spray it NOW!
Eddie: Hurry up!
Raven: Okay, okay, how do I look?
Eddie: You have your mother's hair.
Raven: [giggles] I been told that, and--
Eddie: NO NO, you have your mother's HAIR.
Raven: Oh oh, okay, is my hair okay NOW?

Campaign In The Neck (2003) S1 Ep10

Raven: Where you going?
Chelsea: To get something to drink.
Raven: [loud enough for Eddie and Corey to hear] Oh, I'll get something for you. Don't worry about that, Chelsea! [Eddie and Corey give her a baby bottle from behind the door] Here you go. There. I'll make sure it's good for you.
Chelsea: Thanks, but I was thinking something more like a soda.
Raven: Soda? Girl, do you know that stuff is bad for you? Milk brings strong bones. Got to work on it. I'll even join you... [they give her a soda from behind the door] with a nice soda.
Chelsea: [takes soda from Raven] Thanks.
Raven: Think about it, Chels-- you against Ben Sturky? Girl, you do the math. [has vision of Chelsea losing against Ben] Actually, math isn't my very best subject.
[Chelsea is sitting on the stage waiting for election and Raven is sitting behind the curtain]
Raven: Come on, Chels, you gotta talk to me sometime.
Chelsea: No, I don't. Go away!
Raven: I'll hit you.
Chelsea: You will not! [Raven punches her from behind the curtain] OW!

Smell Of Victory (2003) S1 Ep11

Raven: Ben, you stink.
Ben: I do?
Raven: Hasn't anybody ever told you that before?
Ben: Well, my mom...but that's just my mom. She thinks my dad smells too.
Raven: Interesting.
Raven: 28 minutes and 19 seconds; that's how long me and my nose have been in there. The good news, we finished the project. The bad news, we have to burn the couch.
Eddie: Cuddles died?
Raven: Yeah, he died the same way he lived, on the wheel.

A Dog By Any Other Name (2003) S1 Ep12

Chelsea: (To Cory) Do you still wear those pajamas, you know the ones with the bunny feet, baby?
Cory: Well baby, if that's what turns you on.
Eddie: (Rapping) I may be sittin' in the seat soaked my feet but this homeboy's got you beat aha!.You can say all you want make funny faces but you're nothing but sad rappin' cousins.

You think you're so smart (pointing one guy) you get F's and D's (points to another guy) and your grades so low man, you get straight Z's. I might be sittin' through spit and spray but that doesn't even matter cause' I'm gonna get an A.

Raven: (To Sam) Don't worry she likes you, you lucky dog!
Raven: (Looks at Eddie's pink and heart embroided shirt) I like that...I have that!
Eddie: It was either this, or a tube top.
Raven: Reservations for Raven? (Eddie glares at her) You should really get a cell phone, alright?

Ye Olde Dating Game (2003) S1 Ep13

The Parties (2003) S1 Ep14

Cory: PILLOW FIGHT!!

Dissin' Cousins

Raven: Okay, she's almost here. Which ones, these or these?
Chelsea: Rae, you always freak out every time your cousin Andrea comes in from Europe.
Raven: Girl, I am fine. I just need to know what hat says, you know, "Thanks for coming, but you need to go back to Paris."
Chelsea: Rae, she's only gonna be here for a little while.
Raven: Okay, I understand that, but does this belt say, "Just because we're relatives doesn't mean I have to like you"?

(Raven and Eddie talking on the phone)

Raven: Okay, okay, I know I shouldn't of said that we were going out but she made me so mad. Can't you just be my boyfriend for one week? What's the big deal?
Eddie: Because in a week, Andrea will be gone. You had a vision. Now, I had that same vision. I want that kiss, you promised me that kiss.
Raven: Okay, Eddie, I just can't back down now. She will never let me live it down.
Eddie: But I'm a man. I have feelings. I need to be held, Rae
Raven: Okay, Eddie, don't make me come down there and...(Andrea walks in Raven's room) give you the biggest hug my Eddie bear has ever had!
Eddie: What?! She's there isn't she?
Raven: Oh, I missed you too, Pookie
Eddie: Okay, now, Rae, that's it. I'm drawing the line at "Pookie"
Andrea: You remember that pony I had?
Raven: Yeah
Andrea: Made it up
Raven: Well you remember that soccer trophy I had?
Andrea: Uh huh
Raven: Garage sale. $2.50.

Separation Anxiety (2003) S1 Ep15

Raven: I love this picture of me and my folks. We were so happy
Chelsea: Where's Cory?
Raven: He wasn't born yet. That's why we were so happy.
Chelsea: Hey Rae, why doesn't your leg join the play, because then it would be in the cast! Ha ha ha! Isn't that funny?
Raven: (Raven, Eddie, Chelsea all laugh) No!

Escape Clause (2003) S1 Ep16

Mr. Pretracelli: All right, all right, all right. One last thing. I'm sure you'll be disappointed to know that I won't be here tomorrow. (Mr. Petracelli and the class sarcastically groans) But, Ms. Simmons will be substituting. You know, the one who plays movie because she doesn't care about you're education. (Mr. Petracelli and the class shouts Yay!) Now remember, even though I'm gone tomorrow, I will be watching. (Mr. Petracelli and the class goes ooh)

If I Only Had A Job (2003) S1 Ep18

Dad: "Tell your mother everything is fine"
Raven: "Hey mom! We haven't eaten for days, your plants are dead, and I'm dropping out of school. Love ya, bye"
[in strong accents]
Raven: [as Liz Anya] Do you know who I be? Does you listen to music?
Eddie: [as Liz Anya's bodyguard] Do you watch TV?
Chelsea: [as Liz Anya's executive] Do you carry a lunch box?
Chelsea: [in strong British accent] Yeah, Liz Anya can't just sing cold!

Eddie'''{as Liz Anya's bodyguard} Y-Yeah, you see Liz Anya's got to get warmed up 'Raven'''''{as Liz Anya} ''Just have Victor prepare my usual. 'Manager'''''Ummm, Victor got fired """ Raven, Eddie, Chelsea, {spits out water at the same time} 'Raven {As Liz Anya} WWWHHHHAAAATTTT!! Manager""""""'SHHHHHH! """"Eddie"""""""""Don't SHH her 'Raven'''{as liz Anya } GET ME J LO!!!! Chelsea'OHHHHHH YOU DONE IT NOW!!! Chelsea''[calls cory] 'Raven [As Liz Anya] Hey, girlfriend , you know i'm down here at Augustine's and they fired Victor!! I-I know. She wants to talk to you. 'Manager'S-She wants to talk to me!! Eddie Don't look at the phone brotha Manager' Hi! Mrs. Lopez, I'm a really big fan. Cory'''I heard you fired my Victor, get him back and tell Liz Anya that you will fire him back {victor walks in and hears cory}{Cory] Mom said all boys voice change when they are growing up. [cory runs to his room immediately] Raven [as Liz Anya] [Chants]Victor, Victor Victor

To See Or Not To See (2003) S1 Ep18

Raven: So you don't want me to tell you my visions?
Eddie: No...unless a piano is about to fall and hit me, you can tell me. (Chelsea glares at him) Or you could just keep it to yourself.
Raven: Okay, I won't tell you my visions. (walks away)
Eddie: (to Chelsea) If I get hit by a piano, I'm blaming you


Season 2

Out of Control (2003) S2 Ep1

[Inside Victor's new restaurant. Every one getting ready for opening night, Tanya testing microphone, after scatting]
Tanya: You know there's going to be live music opening night.
[Raven confused]
Raven:What? Mom..[Grabs mic] PEOPLE! PEOPLE! PEOPLE!, listen up people. Okay? This place has to be cool because, as we all know, it is a reflection upon me! So the following things are uncool. Mom scatting - yeah, that's got to go.
[Victor laughs, Tonya glares and he stops]
Raven: Two, Dad's face on these flyers - gotta go. [bobs head]
Corey Baxter: [tossing a tomato up and down] Just say the word, Dad. [kisses tomato]
Raven: Three, Corey - gotta go. You know what? Actually, make Cory number one. So from the top...

[Corey throws the tomato at her]

Corey Baxter: It... slipped?
Raven: My foot is gonna slip you.

[takes shoe off and chases him around the restaurant]

Raven: Come Here!
Raven: You guys! Major news! Devon Carter said that he's gonna try to make it to the grand opening. Do you know what this means?!?
Chelsea: Yeah, more work for us.
Raven: [giggles] Exactly! Chelsea, I'm gonna need a wardrobe conference and Eddie, I'm gonna need egg roll recipes.
Eddie: Ok, but, uh, what if we have other plans?
Raven: [snickers in disbelief] Plans that I don't know about? That is pretty hilarious! [bursts into laughter]

[Chelsea & Eddie join in, laughing nervously and annoyed]

Eddie: But seriously, Rae. We do have other plans.
Raven: [skeptically] What y'all doin'?

[simultaneously] :Chelsea: Surfing. :Eddie: We're bowling. [Raven glares suspiciously] [simultaneously] :Chelsea: Bowling. :Eddie: Surfing.

Eddie: Actually, we're bowling and surfing.
Chelsea: Ye-yeah, right! Right. We are blurfing...Yes...
Raven: Blurfing?
Chelsea: Mmhmm.
Eddie: Y-yeah, see, uh, see you, uh, you bowl on a surf board and it's cool except for, you know, the, uh, the board scratches the lanes 'cause they still workin' out the kinks and stuff like that...
Raven: So, umm, y'all can't help out 'cause you gotta blurf?
Chelsea: Yeah, Rae. Well, ya know, it's not us. We're in a league, sorry. Eddie, we better go.
Eddie: Yeah, let's get up out of here.

[Right after a vision of Eddie and Chelsea leaning into each other]

Raven: Well now i know what 'Blurfing' is!
Victor: What did you see?
Raven: It was a disaster. Eddie and Chelsea they looked like they were about to..to [makes kissy face]...kiss.. [imitating kissy face]
Victor: So, why is that so bad?
Raven: Because dad, we have always been a threesome, if they become a twosome, then I become a onesome. Then if they break up we're gonna be three onesomes, which is definitely not as good as one threesome!
Victor: Rae, sometimes your visions aren't exactly what you think they are. Look, why don't you just ask Eddie and Chelsea straight up what's going on?
Raven: Yeah. I guess your right.
Raven: Hey! So, what's going on with you two? [Raven glares suspiciously]
Eddie & Chelsea: Nothing. [Innocently looking]
Raven: Oh? 'Cause, um, [sniffs and sucks teeth] lately it's kinda seemed like something.
Chelsea: Well, uh, sometimes nothing can seem like something... [trying to play it off]
Raven: And yet sometimes something can actually be 'something'.
Eddie: Unless it's nothing.
Raven: Nothing yet or nothing at all 'cause if it's nothing at all we can do it to-geth-er...
Eddie: Can't.
Raven: Why not?
Chelsea: Because if three people do nothing, then it actually becomes something.

[Eddie and Chelsea walk away leaving Raven confused and even more suspicious]

Don't Have a Cow (2003) S2 Ep2

Cory: C'mon, William.
William: For real?
Cory: Yeah! Just don't touch yourself.

Run Raven Run (2003) S3 Ep3

Alana: BAXTAAA!! This is all your fault!
Eddie: I like you too.
Loca: You better!
Cory: [about Raven] I'm going to miss her... [to William] Pass the chips.

Clothes Minded (2004) S2 Ep4

Raven: [inside air vent] Dead bug, dead bug! Live bug, live bug!
Raven: [Arm inside vent, wheel of cheese rolls away] It had to be a wheel of cheese!

Four's a Crowd (2004) S2 Ep5

[Raven screaches loudly after Devon say's 'Hey Rae']

Raven: See before it was just 'Hey', now it's 'Hey Rae'

Hearts and Minds (2004) S2 Ep6

Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

Victor: You're grounded!
Cory: For how long?!
Victor: Two weeks! Or until rats talk!
Tanya: [voicing Lionel] Homie!

That's So Not Raven (2004) S2 Ep7

Raven: [reading her poem in class] "My Love For Shoes", by Raven Baxter. 'SO many shoes but only two feet... I wish I could buy every pair that I meet...' [has a vision that she is on a catwalk] Oh, that is so cool! [sees everybody watching her confusedly] ...that I'm still in school... feelin' like a fool... just gonna sit in my stool... well, actually it's a seat, but it rhymes with-- OK, poem's over.

Blue in the Face (2004) S2 Ep8

Raven: [to herself] Girl, you are so ready for that Blue Rain concert.
Victor: So am I!
Chelsea: Oh yeah, 'cause remember, Rae. 27 cats. Whoa. Meow!

Spa Day Afternoon (2004) S2 Ep9

Raven, Tanya and singer Myesha: [all in a spa, singing the trademark song of fictional singing diva Myesha] 'I'm just a simple girl with a private je-e-et... I got so much money and my friends are all in de-e-bt... I got a lot of diamonds on my hands and feet... but I'm still Myesha from up the street...'
Tanya: SHE'S STILL MYE-EEE-SHA-AAA!!! [awkward silence] Ain't that how it goes...?
Raven and Myesha: Yeah!

Leave it to Diva (2004) S2 Ep10

There Goes the Bride (2004) S2 Ep11

Radio Heads (2004) S2 Ep12

Raven: How many ping pong balls are in the jar?
Chelsea: [concentrates very hard] 237!
Raven: [looks at jar and finds answer is right, is amazed and scared] Chels, how'd you know that?
Chelsea: Isn't it obvious? [Raven and Eddie back away]

A Goat's Tale (2004) S2 Ep13

Raven: [talking about Gomez the goat] Oh, Chelsea's right, he doesn't look so good. What d'you thinks wrong with him, girl?
Chelsea: Maybe it was something he ate.
Raven: Well, he ate everything.
Eddie: What do we do?
Chelsea: Okay. Mr. and Mrs. B, I need you to call Dr. Calvin, he's the best vet in town. Tell him it's Chelsea, and we have a goat down. Rae, you get some blankets. Cory, I need an ice pack. Eddie, you get a baby bottle with warm milk,
[Raven, Eddie, Cory, and Raven's parents stare at Chelsea]
Chelsea: Yeah, I know, it's me, now MOVE, MOVE, MOVE, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

He's Got the Power (2004) S2 Ep14

Raven: [making wig for 70s night] You know 'cause he ditched us. And all the girls are like, "Ooh Eddie, you so cute. Ooh Eddie, you so rich! Oooh Eddie, you so psychic! Oooh Eddie you got the prettiest little eyes!!" [starts messing up wig]
Raven: Now that is ridiculous. I mean, who would watch a show about a teen psychic? [looks at camera/audience and simper's]

You're Stone Cold Busted!

Skunk'd (2004) S2 Ep15

Chelsea: Rae is this a good spot
Raven: Wait a minute tree huggers, I ma coming...Whoo these boots were NOT made for walking
Raven: What is that smell?
Chelsea: Well Rae that would be fresh air
Raven: Well that has got ta go

[Raven sprays the whole camping area with air freshener]

Raven: Ohh yeah that's what I call fresh mountain pine
Chelsea: Didn't you notice any of the natural beauty on your ways up here?
Raven: You know what cheals I actually did...
Chelsea: Oh well that's good
Raven: There's was a beautiful rock that looked like a cell phone and on top of it girl was a little bird chirpping like a ringer chirp chirp.
Raven:I brought a tent in tube.
[shakes tube]
Raven:Stand back people.
[Throws tube]
Raven:Now i wonder how u get it'back in a tube.

[At the high school rapping for senior citizens with Corey]

Eddie: Yo im hopping on my way to the crib my cellys blowing up my little mommys on the phone saying 'Pappi what's up?' Now somebody scream!
Old Woman: We don't know what your saying!

The Dating Shame (2004) S2 Ep16

Host guy: You ready to play?

Raven: Oh oh oh, I'm ready, but i aint playin'.

Chelsea: OH YEAH? well I'm playin', but I'm not ready.

The Road to Audition (2004) S2 Ep17

Emmett: Well, well, well. What have we here?
Raven: Emmett, the world's most annoying hall monitor.
Emmett: Hey! I didn't skip two grades to take any lip from the likes of you. What are you waiting for? Next time, it's detention! They fear me.
Raven: Raven: Oh! Looks like toast got burnt.
Cory: was once a little punk.
Chelsea: Everyday in French class, I ask Mademoiselle for the girls' room pass
Eddie: It's history in the making, y'all.
Raven: Oh-oh, oh-oh


Chelsea: No one can find out that the new janitor is actually a talent scout from 'Undercover Superstar'!
Crowd: 'Undercover Superstar'?
Raven: Y'all didn't hear that, did you? Oh, but you did.
Eddie: You know what this means, every man for himself.
Chelsea: Or woman!

The Lying Game (2004) S2 Ep19

Evil Raven: I'm melting! I'm melting! I'm melt- [stops and looks at Cory] This is all...YOUR FAULT!!

Numb and Number (2004) S2 Ep20

Cory: [hiding under a table at the dentist's] I don't think I can! I don't think I can!

My Big Fat Pizza Party (2004) S2 Ep21

Biker: Back off, Granny!
Mildred: Who you callin' Granny, dirtball?
Victor: You both are fired!
Chelsea: Man, we are sooo refired!
Children: We want the clown!
Cory: No we don't!
Children: We want the clown!
Cory: No we don't!
Children: We want the clown!
Cory: No we don't!Cccc
Biker: Let's roll, boys!
Mildred: Let's roll, girls!
William: Let's roll, mommy!

Shake, Rattle, and Rae (2004) S2 Ep22

Chelsea: Ahhhh? Rae?????
All: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????

Season 3

Psychic Eye For the Sloppy Guy (2004) S3 Ep1

Raven: Hey guys we seem the eye. and seem the eye.
Tanya: See you after school.
Raven: Now that we all understand each other, it's Go Time
Eddie: Old school; old school; pre-school!
Chelsea: Bad for your skin; bad for the environment; and just plain bad!
Raven: Got to go! Got to go! Got to go!!
Victor: No all that new big screen TV..
Cory: That's it this is all your tonight..
Eddie: See anything you like?
Chantel: Yeah! The whole right side of the menu.
Eddie: Ehh!

Stark Raven Mad (2004) S3 Ep2

Sierra: I'm Sierra, Raven's new best friend!
Chelsea:Raven has a new best friend...

Opportunity Shocks (2004) S3 Ep3

Taken to the Cleaners (2004) S3 Ep4

Raven: Girl, please, this movie is not scary.
Tanya: RAVEEEEEENNNNNNN!!
Raven: Now, that's scary.


Ronda: Yo leg ain't broken. you was just to lazy to come down to the cleaners and pick up your own clothes! [takes chips] Ronda: .

Raven, Eddie, Chelsea Daniels: Hey!

Ronda: Thats right I got yo chips! And you! [looks at Raven] You on my list! [Rhonda leaves]

Raven: And she's off mine.

Ronda: It's not polite to point little girl.

Five Finger Discount (2004) S3 Ep5

Raven: You heard mom, Cory. Stealing is stealing, and you could go to jail!
Cory: [after he saw a bigger sized monkey key chain] I'm not a monkey thief! I'm not a monkey thief! I'm not a monkey thief! I'm not a monkey thief!

Sweeps (2004) S3 Ep6

Double Vision (2004) S3 Ep7

[Rae and Eddie walk in laughing about something]
[Rae sees the poster Chelsea's put up]
[Raven pulls down the poster]
Raven: Uh, no way! You got Rayne Bow to perform at your vegeterian club benefit.
Chelsea: Uh-huh, and now I'm going to invent a vege chatroom.
[Chelsea sticks poster back up on the wall, and Raven pulls it back down]
Raven: Um... so... hey, when's the show?
Chelsea: It's Friday after school, and I'm really gonna need you to stop doing that. Yeah. We really need the money for the benefit to keep the club going, so I'm in charge for the whole thing, and I have to focus all of my intentions on him. (gazes at a good-looking guy and staples sleeve to the wall)
Raven clicks her fingers: Uh yea, Chels, snap out, snap out of it, Chels.
Chlsea: Uhh, sorry. It's Ben from my history class.
Eddie: You're diggin' him, huh?
Chelsea: Yeah, what gave it away?
Eddie: You stapeled your sleeve to the wall.
Chelsea:Oh would ya?
[Raven pulls Chelsea off the wall]
Raven: Sorry about that.
[Raven has a vision]
Chelsea: Did ya just have a vision?
Raven: Uh, yeah Chels, yeah. I saw you, uh, putting up posters over there, on that wall, over there.
CHelsea: What?
Raven: Go.
[Raven smiles]
CHelsea: Okay. [takes off]
[Raven sighs]
Eddie: What was your real vision?
Raven: I was kissing Ben.
Eddie: What? How could you do that to your best friend?
Raven: I didn't do anything yet.
Eddie: And you're not gonna, 'cause you're gonna stay far far away from that guy.
Raven: That's true. Never go near each other, and nothing can ever happen.
[Bumps into Ben]
Raven: Oh, snap.
Ben: Sorry.
Raven: Gotta go.
[Runs away]

Bend it Like Baxter (2005) S3 Ep8

Eric: [thinking Raven is their star gymnast, Natasha Bubinski] I want to know everything about you. You're language, your culture, your interests-
Eddie: [quietly] Why don't you just start with her name?
Raven: HUSH...ski? Hushski, Hushhushski, that's my dog. He is a Siberian Polar Poodle.

The Big Buzz (2005) S3 Ep9

True Colors (2005) S3 Ep10

Victor:: Did you finish that report?
Cory:: Yep! All 500 words!
Victor:: Black history is very, very, very important to me. There are many, many, many people to choose from...I see where this is going. Come on son, sit.
Cory:: But dad, you only read 18 words.
Victor:: Uh guys and you must push bit to a big Black History you came find us may..
Cory:: What!!
Victor:: Cory, hit the Escape Button and let me out...
Cory:: Nice look, Raven. Ha ha ha!
Raven:: You know what? I wouldn't be laughing 'cause that's going to be you in next 30 years.
Raven:: Even if they did believe me, it wouldn't matter. I'm only one person, I can't change the world.
Victor:: Rae, if Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. had that attitude, we'd all still be sitting in the back of the buses.
Victor:: Oh, that's it! We're gonna bust them, we're gonna shut 'em down by any means necessary!
Tanya:: Whoa, slow down Malcolm!
Chloe:: The truth is, I don't hire black people.

Dog Day Aftergroom (2005) S3 Ep11

The Royal Treatment (2005) S3 Ep12

Raven: Why didn't I listen to my mommy?
Raven: A wedding? I love weddings. I hope I don't cry!
Eddie: Oh, you're going to cry, alright because it's your wedding!

Art Breaker (2005) S3 Ep13

Raven: [Walks into the art room, looks at chelseas painting] Ooo let me guess,its the chaos and the confusion in the world.
Eddie: Rae, did you just have a vision?
Raven: [panicing] Yes you see what happened was- [bumps into Chelsea's statue and shatters it] ...pretty much that.
Eddie: I got you something easy to eat this time Rae [Feeds Raven]
Raven: Mmh mmmh, this is good, what is this?
Eddie: A hot and spicy jalapeno pepper popper

[Raven Chokes]

Raven: [Shocked] A jalapeno pepper popper! You picked a potentially painful pepper popper to pop into my pecker?
Eddie: Possibly [Confused]

[Raven spasms over the spiciness]

Raven: Hot! hot, water wwater aah!
Eddie: Not now, you can't have no water right now Rae.

[Judges approach]

Eddie: Oh, here comes the judge [flees]
Ms. Patuto: Chelsea please let your art speak for itself
Raven: [After eating a chunk of spicy cheese]: WATER!

Boyz 'N Commotion (2005) S3 Ep14

Muffy: If you could all leave in an orderly fashion.
(There's a slight pause)
Loca (yells): Get out!
Ricky: I'm Ricky, this is Tre and this is JJ.
JJJ: It's actually J.J.J., but the third J is silent.

Gettin' Outta Dodge (2005) S3 Ep15

Raven: Oh, remember the time when you put a lizard in Eddie's pants? [laughs]
Bianca: Can you find in your heart to forgive me?
Eddie: The lizard didn't bite my heart.

On Top of Old Oaky (2005) S3 Ep16

Chelsea: [singing] On top of old Oaaaaaaaaky, all covered with leaves...
Señorita Rodriguez: Chelsea stop siiiiiinging, I'm begging you please!

They Work Hard For His Honey (2005) S3 Ep17

[Fooling around in the Senor Frosty, Raven breaks something]
Raven: Oh, I broke something! Well, I don't think it's important...
Chelsea: Yeah it is, Rae. That looks like the A4-Regulator Valve.
Raven: How do you know that?
Chelsea: Uh, how do you not know that?
Raven: Something's wrong with the ice cream! It's all runny!
Eddie: Yeah. It's like someone broke the A4-Regulator Valve or something!
Raven: How does everybody know that?
[The ice cream machine explodes. Chantel enters]
Chantel: Don't tell me someone broke the A4-Regulator Valve!
Raven: WHAT!?
Chelsea: Aw... Why don't we have nicknames?
Raven: Okay... biscuit head.

Mind Your Own Business (2005) S3 Ep18

Raven: You know what? That's a good looking picture of Mad Dog Sister.
Eddie: It's a really bad looking picture of Mad Dog!

Hizzouse Party (2005) S3 Ep19

Raven: That's my jam!!

Mismatch Maker (2005) S3 Ep20

Raven: Bottom line, we're friends.
Chelsea: Yeah, it's what we do. Put on fake nose, a fake wig, and meddle in each other's lives...at least, that's what we do.
Eddie: If I tell you something, promise you won't get insulted?
Raven (as Seyonce): Oh, I know Edward, you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend.
Eddie: No, you've got a big nasty noodle hangin' from your nose.

Chef-Man and Raven (2005) S3 Ep21

When in Dome (2005) S3 Ep22

True, true. I didn't like you when you walked in the door. "WACKA WACKA WACKA!"

Too Much Pressure (2005) S3 Ep23

gonna get you back

Pressure: (saying dance steps) twizzler, spin, sprinkler, sprinkler, rock away, rock away, rinse, rinse, and repeat!

The Grill Next Door (2005) S3 Ep24

Extreme Cory (2005) S3 Ep25

Point of No Return (2005) S3 Ep26

Raven: [drops dummy on Fránc's foot] Sorry Frank!
Fránc: It's pronunced Fránc!
Raven: Fránc! ...I would like to buy this shirt please.
Fránc: [sarcastically] Oh, wow! No one's ever bought a blouse here before!
Raven: No, Chels, you have to overstretch it because when you let go, it's gonna snap back into shape. Okay, let go!
[The shirt doesn't snap back into shape, hangs long and loose]
Chelsea: Ummm, Rae, I don't think it's snappin'...

Country Cousins Part 1 & 2 (2005) S3 Ep 27 & 28

Betty Jane: Cousin Raven, I've been waiting all these years to see you again.
Raven: I knew you were gonna say that.
Betty Jane: And now I can't wait for you to leave. Momma!
Raven: I didn't know she was gonna say that.
Raven: Chels! Dude, you're supposed to be on hole patrol.
Chelsea: Oh, I'm sorry. But look, Rae, that creepy scarecrow keeps staring right at me
Raven: Oh, yeah, that's Percy. Yeah, he used to creep me out too when I was a little kid. Auntie Faye used to tell this scary story. Like.. uh..when the moon was out...kinda like tonight...Percy would come to life, sneak into your room..(gasps) and steal your soul.. (laughs) kinda silly...Chels?

Food For Thought (2005) S3 Ep29

Raven: I saw the future and it was HUGE! It was like attack of the giant booties. I'm talking about a lot of junk in the trunk, Chels.
(The students are in the hallways, eating junk food from the Food Court. Raven and Chelsea watch.)
Chelsea: Gosh, Rae, I can't believe it! Lunch was over two hours ago, and they're still packing it in!
Raven: Yeah. They don't know what that food is doing to them. Somebody's got to speak the truth!
(She steps into the middle of the hallway.)
Raven: PEOPLE! PEOPLE! LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE, LISTEN TO ME!
(Everyone stops.)
Raven: ...Put down the pies. You cannot maximize. You gotta exercise, or the scales will rise-and so will your thighs!
Eddie: Who wants some fries?

Mr. Perfect (2005) S3 Ep30

Raven: Thanks for walking me home today, Andre (giggles) and yesterday and uh, the day before that.
Andre: That's a lot of walkin'. Do you know what that means?
Raven: Yeah, yeah I really think we need to start taking the bus 'cause my feet are getting swollen, crusty and bumpy.
(Andre laughs)
Andre: I'm talking about you being my girlfriend.
Raven: Oh, okay, please forget everything I said about my feet. Um, I'd love to be your girlfriend, Andre.
Andre: Cool! Great. So...(reaches for Raven's hand and kisses it) I'll see you later.
Raven: Okay.
Raven: Out!
Stanley: Okay, baby, but my love is like a boomerang, keeps on comin' back
Raven: Well my foot is like a pendulum, it will keep on swingin..' (raises her leg)
Stanley: Okay, I'm goin.'
Raven: Thank you. (closes the door, walks away, and Stanley opens it again)
Stanley: Boomerang, baby.
(Raven shoves him out the door.)

Goin' Hollywood (2005) S3 Ep31

Victor:I'll have my people call your people (looks at Raven and Cory) your mom says hi.

Save The Last Dance (2005) S3 Ep32

Cake Fear (2005) S3 Ep35

Miss Patterson: Are you children enjoying them?
Raven, Chelsea, Eddie & Cory: ...Oh...yeah...ummm...
Miss Patterson': Good, 'cause I put something special in them. A dash...of cinnamon!
[Chelsea holds hands to neck and makes choking sound]
Chelsea: Oh wait did you say cinnamon?
Miss Patterson: Oh no, it's time...I have to do this now.
Raven: Wait, wait, do what?
Miss Patterson: Take a shower. Every day at exactly 6:03 I take a shower for exactly five and a half minutes. I call it me time.
Raven: Yes, all your evidence is in here, along with her evil... [pulls out knitting needles] knitting needles...and her evil... [pulls out teddy bear] teddy bear...and her evil...book of..nighty night stories...IT WAS IN HERE, I SAW IT!
Policeman: We're going door to door looking for a revenge-seeking babysitter.
Raven, Eddie & Cory: THAT'S HER!
Policeman: Where?
Raven: She's in there...in the kitchen...making cocoa!
[After Raven and Corey admitted the truth, Miss Patterson addresses Raven to confess to the hidden camera in the wall]
Raven:Yes, yes, yes we ate the...CAMERA?! [Stares into camera crazy]

Vision Impossible (2006) S3 Ep36

Raven: HEY! Are yall spying on my dream? That is jack up! I'm angry, I'm awake, and I'm coming to get ya!
  • Scratching on the turntables! I mean, Whiskers was like "mickehmickehmeowmickehmickehmeow

Four Aces (2006) S3 Ep37

Raven: [yells out] Mrs. Wilcox! Mrs. Wilcox! Going once, going twice, yep and going to the mall.
Old man: She cant hear you.
Raven: Oh? Hard of hearing? MRS. WILCOX!!
Old man: She cant hear you because she's in her room!

Season 4

Raven, Sydney and the Man (2006) S4 Ep1

Mrs. Valentine: That presentizzle was off the hizzle!
Victor: You know, I am starting to think that Cory is only in this for the money.
(Cory wheels in an ATM past Victor & Raven)
Raven: Ya think?

Pin Pals (2006) S4 Ep2

Chelsea: Donna Cabonna?! (accidentally lets go of her bowling ball and it starts rolling down the stairs) Four!
Eddie: That's golf, Chels.
Chelsea': No, that's my fourth ball I've lost this week.

(The bowling ball falls step by step down the stairs and makes a huge crash at the last step.)

Dues & Don'ts (2006) S4 Ep3

Unhappy Medium (2006) S4 Ep4

Chelsea: You guys, you guys, you guys! That's Nikki Logan. She's like one of my favorite actresses! She was so awesome as the vegetarian detective in "Dude Where's My Eggplant?"
Raven: Yeah, and her house in Malibu is off the chain. I saw it on "Young, Rich, and Fabulous."
Chelsea: Yeah, I know. I totally saw that! Yeah, her bathtub is so big, she even has her own diving board.
Raven: Chels, that was her swimming pool
Chelsea: That would make more sense.
Chelsea: Man! I can't believe Nikki's not here. (reaches into her backpack) I wanted her to sign my eggplant.
Eddie: How come you can't just get a regular autograph album like everybody else, Chels?
Chelsea: Excuse me, do you know how long it takes to grow autograph albums?!

Adventure in Boss-Sitting (2006) S4 Ep5

Raven (to Donna Cabonna): I didn't know when you said 24/7 you meant all day all week!
Raven (to Donna): You don't own me, you don't even pay me!!

Hook Up My Space (2006) S4 Ep6

Raven: [just cheated on HOOK UP MY SPACE! and camera just zoomed in on Raven] Hey, America, how yall doin'?
Raven: Corey please this is my only chance please don't make this ugly [looks at lamp] Oh my goodness what is that ugly thing?!?


['Chris,' aka Chelsea puts paste on the front of wallpaper.]
Raven: [In Pat voice] Uh, Chris? You got it on the wrong side, man.
Chelsea: [In Chris voice] If you say so, Pat!
[Chelsea uses other side of paint brush.]

Driving Miss Lazy (2006) S4 Ep7

Be Prepared (2006) S4 Ep8

  • (When the fire alarm goes off in the building, everyone gathers around the Preparedness Plan that Raven was supposed to hand out, and they accidentally tear it up)
Eddie: My says "Panic."
Chelsea: Mine says "Don't."
Raven: [crying] MINE SAYS "RAVEN, PLEASE DISTRIBUTE!"

Juicer Consequences (2006) S4 Ep9

Sister Act (2006) S4 Ep10

Mrs. Valentine: Any questions?
Buffy: Shouldn't we be working with professionals instead of people off the street?
Eddie: Did she just dis us?
Chelsea: Uh, yeah, I'm feelin' a little dissed.
Raven (to Sydney): You know what we have to do to them on the fashion competition, don't you?
Sydney: Crush them!
Raven: Now you getting it.

Checkin' Out (2006) S4 Ep11

Kendra: Kendra Blair here...awaiting the return of the great fashion photographer, Pistache. Oh, here she comes now!
[Raven walks in dressed as Pistache]
Raven: [fake French accent] Bonjour! Ello, ello, ello, ello, ello. Frere Jacques. Where do we start with the big shooooow?!
Kendra: Shouldn't we wait for Donna?
Raven: NO! We do not wait for Donna. Pistache works very quickly. [snaps fingers] I have to go back into seclusion.
Raven: Oh! The boys, the boys!
Kendra: [slowly] How does it feel to be in A-mer-i-ca?
Raven: NO! You do not speak to the boys. They do not speak the same English as you speak. They speak another form of the language that you do not know. Boys! Saabite, wootita zoozoo...wika wah wika fiki fiki wah tika chika wah wah!
Zack: Tika tika wah.
Cody: Tika tika wah wah!
Raven: Oh la la! Pistache found the camera! Okay boys, smiley smile! Oh the pointing, the pointing. It's so rude, so rude, I love it! So nasty!
Kendra: Eh, Pistache...have you met Pistache?
Raven: There is no other Pis- [sees Donna also dressed as Pistache, coming towards her] Oh, snap! Okay there is a perfect explanation.
Pistache: [walks over to Zack and Cody] This is not Yan...and Kvelt.
Donna: Raven, you're fired.
Raven: Yeah, I kinda figured that.
Pistache: They are even better.
Donna: Raven, you're re-hired.
Raven: Sweet.
Donna: I think this is gonna work.
Raven: I know it is.
Pistache: I got it. And now, we dance.
[Everyone starts dancing]

Fur Better or Worse (2006) S4 Ep12

Mad Hot Cotillion (2006) S4 Ep13

Mrs. Rothschild: LAWRENCE, you're toast!

When 6021 Met 4267 (2006) S4 Ep13

Loca: Aaaah!! Where's the rest of you?!
Stanley: Just look in my eyes, baby, just look in my eyes.

Soup To Nuts (2006) S4 Ep14

Eddie: [repeated line] Don't get me started!
Zuckerman: You thought you can hide from me, didn't you?
Raven: [as Dorthy] Why are you so mean?
Victor: [as the Wizard of Oz] Because I ain't got no body! Get it? I ain't got no body. I'm a big floating head, and - alright, get out of my sight!

Members Only (2006) S4 Ep15

Cory: (his cell phone rings and he answers it) Hello? This is Cory's phone. Cory Baxter speaking. Oh, hey, Larry. Man! Chill, I am sure your parents didn't move without telling you. Did you check in the kitchen? There see? All that crying for nothing. You're welcome. (looking confused) I...love you too? Bye.
Raven: Just because Eddie is not tall, dark, handsome, muscular...
Eddie: (interrupts) Hey, you better be going somewhere with this.

The Ice Girl Gometh (2006) S4 Ep16

Chelsea: Rae, you want to leave during The Quiet Game?
Raven: Chelsea, I wanted to leave during dinner!
Raven: Mrs. Daniels, you're like a mother to me.
Chelsea: To me too

Rae of Sunshine (2006) S4 Ep17

Theatre Guard: Young man! People are trying to watch the movie, you are going to have to leave!
Cory: Me?!
Chelsea: See I told him! Yeah! You heard me.
Cory: Yes Chelsea! Everybody heard you!
Mrs Valentine: [starts to rain] Oh dear, it looks like its raining. We will camp at Raven's.
Raven: Say what?
Eddie: [quietly] Hello, baby! I was expecting your call.
Raven: Eeew!! Eddie stop talkin' like that and put Chelsea on the phone!

The Dress Is Always Greener (2006) S4 Ep18

Raven: You dated a rock star?! Which one?
Donna Cabonna: That's not the point! (whispers in Raven's ear) Mick Jagger!!!
Raven: Oh snap!!!
[To Raven]
Donna Cabonna: Were you working for Lora behind my back?
Lora Stelladora: Were you working for Donna in front of my behind?

Teacher's Pet (2007) S4 Ep19

Chelsea: That study party was off the heezy. It's just bad that we are going to fail.
Eddie: Ms. Dearborn...
Courtney: Eddie, call me Courtney. We're all friends here.
Eddie: Ok, Courtney. So this whole war started over a woman?
Courtney: Well, imagine if Beyoncé got stolen by Canada. What would you do?
Eddie: (quickly jumps up and salutes) Eddie Thomas reporting for duty, ma'am!
The Juicer: Okay, guys, let's take a vote. All those who don't want me to be the lead singer, speak now and you'll never speak again.
Chelsea: Isn't it weird that everytime something strange happens Raven isn't here to see it.
Eddie: That is because she is Raven!
Dr. Stuckerman (to Courtney): Do you know what my first name is?
Courtney: I'm afraid not, sir.
Dr. Stuckerman: Bingo!
Chelsea: (to Raven) Yeah he looks like a Bingo to me.

The Way We Are There (2007) S4 Ep20

Chelsea (about Eddie's parents): They're so happy together, just like in your vision.
Raven: Uh, yeah, what you see is what I saw, but what I saw is not what you see, and you see what I'm sayin'?
Chelsea: Say that again. I might still have some money in my ear
Raven: Chels, listen. Eddie's parents are not getting back together.
Michael: You know, it's nice to be together as a family again.
Lynn: It's just like old times.
Raven: Oh, I was hoping you were gonna say something like that. Maybe, you never know, this could be the start of a new beginning.
Lynn: What are you talking about?
Raven: Maybe you guys can get back together.
(Eddie's parents laugh)
Raven: What y'all laughin' at?
Lynn: Just the thought of us actually getting back together.
Michael: If there's one thing we agree on, it's that that's not gonna happen in a million years.

Where There's Smoke (2007) S4 Ep21

Raven: [speaks on phone to Victor about the mayor coming to pick up the casserole] Dad, I know, I know, listen, listen. The casserole is in the oven. Yes, yes, yes! You take it out, you let it cool, you shampoo it, you rinse it, repeat it! [laughs] I'm just playing with you, Daddy! [rushed] Hold on, let me call you right back. Love you, too, bye!
Raven: [stops cory] Excuse me! Where do you think you're going?
Cory: [holding basketball] To the library.
Raven: With a basketball? Dad put me in charge. I need you to respect me enough to give me a decent lie!
Cory: Sorry, I was in a rush.
Raven: Cory, you are not going anywhere until you finish your chores.
Cory: [lies] I did 'em!
Raven: [after each question, Cory lies with the answer "Yes!"] So you cleaned your room? You picked up the laundry? You picked up fresh milk?
Raven: [gives a look] You may go.
Cory: Thank you!
Raven: [walks to the refrigerator, thinking to self] Yep, when it comes to little brothers, you just gotta show them who's boss!
Raven: [pours glass of milk and old, chunky milk come out] CORY!!
Raven: [picks up laundry] Corry. . .lazy, nonworking, good for nothing, [finds cigarette] cigarette smoking -- cigarette smoking??? Oh, no. . . CORY!!!

Crossovers

Checkin Out

That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana

That's So In The House

Meena: I mean Bahavia in a TV show That's So Pooshnik?
Cory: Rae get back to the room...
Raven: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Stop it.
Cory: Ya know I gotta admit, that was actually kinda funny.
Raven: That girl is fly!
Meena: Let's watch it again!

A Rat By Any Other Name

And The Weenie Is...

Uninvited Pest

Unidentified episode

Raven Baxter

  • That's not my heart, Chels, somebody is throwing a ball against my...face. You stay right there, you little nasty! [goes downstairs to give ball back to Sierra]
  • You know, I'm sorry I've been acting weird lately. I just want you to know I'm a kind, loving, completely normal...[has a vision]...oh snap, you little nasty!

Chelsea Daniels

  • Yeah, and if we get there next century, we'll be too old to dance.
  • So when does your plan turn good, Rae?
  • Ooh excitement! Eddie's opening his locker! Maybe later he'll tie his shoes!
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