We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.
—Andrew
John: [imitating his Father] Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk.
[imitating his Mother] John: You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
[father's voice] John: Shut up bitch! Go fix me a turkey pot pie.
[his own voice] John: No dad, what about you?
[father's voice] John: Fuck you.
[his own voice] John: No dad, what about you?
[father's voice] John: Fuck you.
[his own voice] John: Dad, what about you?
[father's voice] John: Fuck you!
[pantomimes getting punched in the face] Brian: Is that for real? John: You wanna come over sometime?
John: [to Claire] Don't you ever talk about my friends. You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean. Claire: SHUT UP! John: And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it cuz it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fuckin' prom. Claire: [crying] I hate you! John: Yeah? Good!
Allison: You have problems. Andrew: Oh, I have problems? Allison: You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem. Andrew: Okay, fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into my problems.
