The Cleveland Show/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • "Ahhh! A bear!" "Ahhh! A Black Man!"
  • "Oooooooooooooooooooooo-bama!"
  • Cleveland Jr's in-memory-of tribute.

Cleveland: He's not dead, yet!

  • The Deportation Catapult. Seriously, that whole scene was priceless.
  • "A Brown Thanksgiving". Cleveland's dad and Auntie Mama had sex. Cleveland happens to know the latter is a man. So while they keep doing suggestive things involving the turkey, Cleveland keeps puking, eventually covering the whole table in it.

Cleveland Jr.: Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

    • Made even funnier after Auntie Momma leaves and Cleveland tells his dad about her. They are outside the house, and their dialogue is completley inaudable, but after his dad finally realizes, he pukes against the window. Made even more funnier by the dialogue after

Cleveland: Says her real name's Kevin.
Cleveland's dad: * pukes*
Cleveland: Been hiding the candy for 36 years.
Cleveland's dad: * pukes*
Cleveland: You...
Cleveland's dad: * pukes*
Cleveland: Had sex...
Cleveland's dad: * pukes*
Cleveland: With a man!
Cleveland's dad: * pukes*

    • The episode "The Curious Case of Jr. Working at The Stool" has a scene near the end with Cleveland and his friends at the bar. Not knowing that their beers have been replaced with non-alcoholic beer as part of Cleveland Jr.'s revenge scheme, they seem to be slightly intolerant of each other and their attitudes, which results in a fight breaking out between the four of them. The fight gets triggered by Cleveland punching Lester in the head and Holt starts fighting with Cleveland as a result. Tim, almost unprovoked, hits Lester in the back of the head, to which we get this exchange:

Lester: What the hell was that for?!
Tim: This is what's happening. Deal with it! * punches Lester again*

    • The fight gets broken up when Cleveland Jr. shows up and explains what he had done, but not before Tim has greviously harmed Lester in an attempt to eat him.

Lester* Shakily* : I'm glad you're all made up and everything...but can SOMEONE GET ME TO A HOSPITAL?!?

  • Cleveland's Delayed Reaction to being told he's stolen and destroyed a drugs stash from a dangerous street gang, with which he is eventually running around the room frantically squealing like a pig.

Cleveland: YEEEE!!! YEEEE!!! YEEEE!!! I accused them of fornicating their own mothers!!!

  • The episode 'Y Tu Junior Tambien' has Cleveland's wide-eyed reaction to Junior's description of what a man and women do together which consists of various actions and a very long censor bleep and ending with Junior saying "But that's only if you have one of those swings" and laughing.
    • Preceded by this exchange.

Cleveland Jr.: Sex is when a man and a woman are in love, and the man gives the woman a very special hug.
Cleveland: Aww....
Cleveland Jr.: Then, once she's good and warmed up, the man [Censor bleep for a while]. But that's only if you have one of those special swings. He he he...

  • In the pilot episode before leaving Cleveland asks if Bonnie and Lois will make out because Girl-On-Girl Is Hot. They do and Quagmire is heard in the background saying "Touch...touch boobs."