The Irate Gamer/Quotes
Captain Obvious quotes
Many of his complaints stem from common "problems" found in many games (granted, some of these are slightly better in context).
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"Reminds me of this rooftop bullshit, jump from the wrong place and you go falling to the ground."
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"This would be a hell of a lot easier if these enemies weren't trying to kill me!"
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"When the blocks start getting close to the top, the music starts speeding up. Now this causes me to get nervous and could mess me up."
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And then there's his really obvious statements:
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"If you manage to get past level one, you'll end up on level two."
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"In this game, you play as the main character..."
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"You play as different characters, watch cutscenes, and perform new tasks.
—Lego Harry Potter review
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"The first thing you see is the Back to the Future logo."
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"In this game you play as Indiana Jones."
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"This is the long-awaited third installment in the Marvel vs. Capcom franchise."
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"Now let me preface by saying this game is not intended for kids."
—God of War 3
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"If you're a fan of [insert franchise here] then chances are you'll like this new installment. |
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Memetic Mutations
- "Uh, yeah, YA THINK?!"
- "GET THE FUCK OFF MAH PROPERTY!"
- The Irate Gamer getting visitors during his Monster Party review (both used for "Bores n Doors" videos)
- "WHAT THE FUCK IS A MUSCLE?" (MUSCLE)
- "These games are fustrating as hell!"
- "After doing some research..."
- The Genie: "What?"
- Cousin Joey: "Hey Chris, what are you playing?" [footage of violence/someone insulting Bores]
- Original footage from Monster Party Review.
- "Actually, the winner was Joseph...ooh-ee-do, I think that's how you say his name." (DealDash winner video)
- "Let's face it. Breakfast is ruined."
Department of Redundancy Department Quotes
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"Super Mario Bros. 2 is only a one-player game. It's totally different from the original in which you can play two players." |
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"Now it's time to pop this video game in and play the game."
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"Tonight, the Haunted Investigators will investigate the haunted attraction known as... the haunted hydro." |
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"So, joining us live to the Irate Gamer Show, connected by via satellite..."
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"Then you get to play two back-to-back Van Halen songs played by Van Halen.
—Guitar Hero Van Halen
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"Another annoying thing are these annoying eyeball platforms."
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"I'm going to hit up three games [...] so onto the first. First up, Brutal Legend." |
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"When somebody asks you for five of the most difficult games on the NES, I guarantee Ghosts 'n Goblins is probably on your Top Five list.[1]
—From the Irate Gamer DVD
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"I was actually waiting to play the whole entire time." |
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"One person even stated they heard two female women talking to each other..."
—Haunted Investigators The Ritz Theater
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"This fresh installment brings back everything you loved about the past installments..."
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"In this review, we're reviewing Kirbys Epic Yarn." |
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"[Fans] who not only wanted me to review this game, but explain my stance on it." |
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"Kratos is back in the third God of War game to round out this trilogy." |
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"With three fighters fighting on each side, it makes this unique brawler very unique and very enjoyable to play."
—Marvel vs. Capcom 3
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"This is an opened ended series which will span many episodes."
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Director: Can you please just read the line please?
—Aflac Auditions Sketch
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"There's a good one. I think we found one, RoboCop. That's a good one." |
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"Let's head inside because that's where everyone's headed."
—E3 2011: Spider-Man Edge of Time
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"Monster Party is a game that's considered a cult classic by some, and a bad game by others." |
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Other
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"Super Mario Bros. 2 is the perfect predecessor to the first Super Mario Bros." |
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"To tell you the truth, this game is the most boring, stupidest, dumbest, vile, repulsive, anal-raping, fecal-flinging, ass-ramming, toe-jerking, vomit-inducing piece of shit I’ve ever played in my life!"
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- ↑ (And this isn't even getting into the contradiction of "guarantee" vs. "probably".)