The Princess Bride (film)/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


In The Story

Westley / The Dread Pirate Roberts

Westley, in "Dread Pirate Roberts" garb.

Fezzik: Why are you wearing a mask? Were you burned by acid or something like that?
Man in Black: No, it's just that they are terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Westley: "To the pain means that the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists, next your nose... The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by your right... Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why: so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish; every babe that weeps at your approach; every woman who cries out, 'Dear God! What is that thing?' will echo in your perfect ears. That is what 'to the pain' means; it means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever."

  • This Is Sparta: Drop. Your. Sword.
  • Wham! Line: "As you wish" while falling down the hillside.
  • You Fight Like a Cow: The famous Inigo/Westley duel, but with compliments and discussion of swordfighting tactics instead of insults. (In most DVD editions, that chapter is titled "The Chatty Duelists.")

Buttercup

  • The Big Damn Kiss: "Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End." Made ironic when the kid insists on skipping or editing all the kissy stuff at first but starts enjoying it by the end.
  • Catapult Nightmare: In the movie.
  • Cuffs Off, Rub Wrists: After being untied.
  • Damsel in Distress: She's especially useless in the fight with the ROUS. C'mon, swing that branch, don't just jab with it like a pool cue! Or pick up Westley's sword, or something.
  • Dreaming the Truth: The Ancient Booer.
  • Dumb Blonde: In the book. She's a little smarter in the movie.
  • Everything's Better with Princesses: Buttercup gets promoted to princess, because she was born a commoner but Humperdinck wants to marry her. The book explains how she had to attend royalty school for three years, and was given the title of Princess of Hammersmith (which was part of the Florinese property but nobody ever paid attention to it) because the Prince couldn't marry a commoner.
  • Everything's Even Worse with Sharks: In the book, Buttercup tries to swim away from Vizzini, so he excites the sharks. In the movie, it was changed to the shrieking eels.
  • Fairytale Wedding Dress: Naturally.
  • Green-Eyed Epiphany: In the book, the reason she realizes her love for Westley is because the Countess Rugen has the visible hots for him.
  • Ice Queen / Defrosting Ice Queen: She flip-flops between these two throughout the book: In the beginning she was an Ice Queen, then defrosts after she realizes her love for Westley. She freezes up again after Westley's reported demise, then defrosts after realizing that he's still alive.
  • Job Title: Her precise function in the story, at least as far as Humperdinck is concerned, is to be a princess and a bride. And a murder victim.
  • Lady and Knight
  • Marry for Love
  • Neutral Female: Buttercup is hilariously useless.
  • Only One Name
  • Pressure Point: Fezzik uses a Vulcan Neck Pinch on Buttercup. In the book Vizzini does it.
  • The Power of Love

Buttercup: "You can't hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds. And you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords. And when I say you are a coward, that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth."

  • Quicksand Sucks
  • Rags to Royalty
  • So Beautiful, It's A Curse: Her beauty is enough to get her promoted to future queen, except the Prince threatens to kill her if she refuses. And he's planning to kill her anyway. In fact, if she were slightly less beautiful, the whole conflict wouldn't have happened.
    • Slightly averted in the book, where he originally had every intention of going through with the marriage, until he came up with the plot to frame Guilder. He specifically says to Count Rugen that he wants a wife who is so insanely beautiful that the whole world will be jealous, which is why Rugen shows him Buttercup in the first place.
  • The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: Both of Buttercup's parents (who are not in the movie) are hilariously ugly. Lampshaded when it's said they don't know how they managed to produce such a beautiful child.
  • World's Most Beautiful Woman: The book even explains how she became the worlds most beautiful woman.

Inigo Montoya

Inigo: Excuse me...excuse me... Fezzik, please?
Fezzik: EVERYBODY MOVE!
(Crowd clears a path)
Inigo: Thank you.

  • Fake Nationality: Mandy Patinkin is not from Spain.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: Has classic good scars in the parallel slashes Rugen gave him to the face.
  • Heel Face Turn
  • Heroic Second Wind: He's not going down that easily, Rugen.
  • Heterosexual Life Partners: With Fezzik.
  • I Am Not Left-Handed: Trope Namer. Pulls this against The Man in Black. Backfires when it turns out the man in black isn't left-handed either.
  • I Gave My Word: Played straight with Westley on the Cliffs of Insanity. He initially swears that he will get Westley up to the top alive on his honor as a Spaniard. Westley says that's no good ("I've known too many Spaniards.") He then swears on his father's soul, and Westley believes him.
  • The Lancer
  • Master Swordsman: Only Westley can equal him in swordsmanshup.
  • Minion with an F In Evil
  • One-Man Army: Humperdink's four elite guards didn't have a chance the second he appeared.
  • Parental Abandonment: His father, Domingo Montoya, was a skilled swordmaker. One day Count Rugen comes to their nice, Arcadian village demanding a sword for a six-fingered man, offering to pay handsomely for it. Domingo accepts and for a year is either exceedingly happy or horribly depressed over his progress on the sword. When it is finally complete and Rugen comes to claim it, he deems it unacceptable and kills Domingo.
  • Precision F-Strike: During his final match.

Inigo: I want my father back, you son of a bitch!

Fezzik

Fezzik: "It's not my fault I'm the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise."

Vizzini: No more rhymes, now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Does anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini

Vizzini: "You were not hired for your brains!"

Vizzini:...so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me! But you would have counted on my thinking that, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you!...

Prince Humperdinck

Count Rugen

Miracle Max and his wife Valerie

And so here the point is, if Max and Valerie sound Jewish, why shouldn’t they? You think a guy named Simon Morgenstern was Irish Catholic? Funny thing — Morgenstern’s folks were named Max and Valerie and his father was a doctor.

  • Berserk Button: Mentioning Prince Humperdinck's name will drive Max up the wall.
  • Cool Old Guy: Max.
  • Cool Old Lady: Valerie.
  • Happily Married: Not so obvious in the movie, but the book implies as much--for example, explaining that when Max calls Valerie "witch" it's in fact a term of endearment and part of their whole act.
  • Henpecked Husband: Max to an extent.

Valerie: LIAR! LIAR! LIIAAAAR!

The Albino

  • The Igor
  • Punch Clock Villain: He seems to enjoy his job in the film a little more, though. In the book he's very timid and feels deeply sorry for Westley, offering to poison him to put him out of his misery.

Outside The Story

The Kid

The Boy: "Wait, what did Fezzik mean, 'He's dead?' I mean he didn't mean dead. Westley's only faking, right?"

  • Ill Boy: His grandfather comes to read him the story because he's been extremely sick.
  • No Name Given
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: After his grandfather tells him that Buttercup doesn't get eaten by eels, he vehemently denies he was nervous about it, instead stating he was 'concerned.'


The Grandfather

Grandfather: Yes, yes, you're very smart. Shut up.