The Rap Critic/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
/wiki/The Rap Criticcreator
  • Anything regarding the sudden sexual content in his review of Drake's "Best I Ever Had".

When did it go from this... (I'll be there...) to this... (I wanna fuck you like an animal...)

  • His review of Party Like a Rockstar by Shop Boyz - "Where'd you get your knowledge of rock music from, the Ninja Turtles?
    • Rapper: "We['re] about to change the game."

Rap Critic: "Your naive expectations are adorable."

  • From his It Was a Good Day by Ice Cube review - "Wait, pimping's a crime; since when did Goodyear blimps become snitches?"
  • From his review of My Chick Bad by Ludacris -

Ludacris rapping: "My chick bad"
Rap Critic: "No, your chick evil!"

"Evil Knievel couldn't make that leap!"

  • Worst Lyrics of November 2010: being unable to say anything about "I Miss My Homies" due to intense Narm.
    • Also, comparing Mystikal's incoherent rapping to Yosemite Sam in full-on rant mode.
  • J Kwon's Tipsy - "Good luck using that fake I.D. now that you just admitted to the world that you have a fake I.D."
  • Young Jeezy's "My President Is Black" review - "Black, blue, green, grey; what is this, the rapping rainbow?!"
  • "No Love" by Eminem featuring Lil' Wayne
    • His body threatening him with kicking him in the balls if he didn't go out and buy the album containing the song. This then happens again forcing him to see other good art of 2010, specifically Black Swan, which he had originally said wouldn't happen because it was about ballerinas.
  • From his Soulja Boy video: *TEETH*
  • From his recent Crossover with Todd in the Shadows
  • "Just Can't Get Enough" from The Black Eyed Peas begins with him deciding that instead of that song, he'll take the request of the most talked about song on the site. Cue "Pig Power in the House", causing Rap Critic to immediately go back to the Peas.
    • Any time the "cameraman's sister" (the Animetalchick) appears.
  • In "Odds and Ends", the disclaimer that opens the video ("If you can read this, you don't need glasses. If you can't, you're probably having a seizure").
  • Anything including Guy #1 and Guy #2.
  • From his "Moment 4 Life" review: "S-S-S-Stop it!"

[After saying he likes the song]
And I'm not just saying that because I find her attractive, I'm saying that because I like her body... of work, and I love it when she raps her beautiful lips... off, on this song. ... I wanna make out with Nicki Minaj -- Crap!

Dirty Money: I give my soul to you
Swizz Beats: When you in the club, getcha ass on the floor
Rap Critic: (pointing at subtitles) Uh, are these statements related?

      • And then he does that to another song:

Damon Albarn: Windmill, windmill for the land...

Rap Critic: By the way, you're supposed to be dancing to this

    • "Maybe-if-I-rap really-fast people-won't understand-that-I'm-not really-saying-anything."
    • Describing "Ass (Remix)" as the following:
      • The sound of inebriation.
      • The running commentary in a pervert's mind as he walks down the street, complete with him imitating one with his eyes darting back and forth.
      • The soundtrack to the Show Within a Show from Idiocracy
  • In his Best Songs of 2011, not even bothering with the subtitles for Tech N9Ne.

What? What do you want from me? My editing software doesn't let me copy and paste, and this would take a while to type! Look 'em up on your OWN time!

    • This part from #1: Hopsin's "Ill Mind of Hopsin 4"

Hopsin: Hotter than UV ray/Hotter than the thought of Nicki Minaj naked, making her booty shake
Rap Critic: You just made me think of that. I'm gonna need a moment...
Caption: Rap Critic is going to need a moment to... uh... gather his thoughts... Quick! Cut to something!

{*Cuts to Bad Meets Evil's "Fast Lane*}

Eminem: And I hope that I don't sound too heinous when I say this/ Nicki Minaj, but I wanna stick my penis in your anus

Caption: Classy move, editor...

  • In his review of the Soulja Boy movie with Mues, he switches the audio during a crowd chase scene to "A Hard Day's Night".
  • From "Top 7 Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard...March 2012": BITCHES BE WORSHIPPIN' ME IN THE SYNAGOGUE, DOUBLE D!
    • Even funnier, the "Worst Lyrics I've Ever Heard... March 2012" was posted on blip... second of March.
  • In "Beautiful", singing the song to "someone special" and reacting to a Product Placement lyric by showing the cover of his own record.
  • From his review of "Marvin and Chardonnay", after hearing the lyric "This was all inspired by a little Marvin Gaye and Chardonnay":

(RC looks slowly to the left)
Marvin Gaye: Givin' yourself to me could never be wrong/if the love is true...
(RC looks slowly to the right)
Kanye West: HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP! HOLD UP!
(RC looks slowly towards the camera)
RC: Really?