The Three Musketeers (1993 film)/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • D'Artagnan thinks his a real Badass...

Athos: Your manners have not improved yet. You're late.
D'Artagnan: You in a hurry to die?
Athos: (Porthos and Aramis arrive) Here come the grave diggers now.
Porthos: Athos, you cannot fight this boy.
Athos: Why not?
Porthos: I'm fighting him.
D'Artagnan: Not until 1 o'clock.
Aramis: I have a duel with him too.
D'Artagnan: Not until 2 o'clock.

  • Shortly thereafter:

Athos: Only a fool would try and arrest us twice in one day.
Jussac: You're under arrest.
Aramis and Porthos: (in unison) A fool.
Jussac: Are you coming peacefully or do you intend to resist?
Porthos: Oh don't be so stupid, of course we intend to resist! Just give us a moment, all right?

    • The guards actually wait until the Musketeers are finished speaking to attack.
  • The Musketeers, having rescued D'Artagnan from the executioner's block, hijack the Cardinal's coach, and Aramis and Porthos investigate its contents while Athos drives:

Porthos: Champagne?
Athos: We're in the middle of a chase, Porthos.
Porthos: You're right - something red.
(shortly after:)
Porthos: For a chase, the Cardinal recommends his excellent '24 Cabernet. (to D'Artagnan) You can't have any, you're too young.

  • At the end of the movie, D'Artagnan has just been made a Musketeer and is talking to the title trio about what comes next for them, when Girard and his brothers, who were pursuing D'Artagnan earlier in the movie, spot him.

D'Artagnan: So what do we do now? What's next?
Porthos: Well, we protect the King.
Aramis: Protect the Queen.
Porthos: In the name of God. And France, correct?
Aramis: France indeed.
(Girard and his brothers have caught up with D'Artagnan. At the other end of the street they draw swords)
Girard: D'Artagnan! My sister's honor will not wait a moment longer.
D'Artagnan: I'll handle this.
Porthos: D'Artagnan, we also protect each other.
D'Artagnan: All for one.
Aramis, Porthos, Athos: And one for all.
(Girard's eyes widen)
Girard: RUN!
The movie ends with Girard and brothers fleeing as the entire Musketeer corps chases them, with an overhead shot of a steady stream of blue tunics down the street.

  • When rescuing D'artagnan from execution, Aramis shoots one of the guards and makes the sign of the cross with the smoking pistol.