The War Comms

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

What originated as a set of Livejournal communities based on the parodying of Shipping wars and other fandom kerfluffles and evolved into a quasi-RP when a few creators...put a bit too much into their sockpuppets. This led to the creation of a third community and then a wiki.

The socks are a group of random fans, based on a wide range of stereotypes and ranging from preteen schoolgirls to thirty-something housewives, all living in a safehouse of epic madness. Whether they're fighting over fandoms, engaging in Ship-to-Ship Combat and character wars or walking in on each other in the showers, there's always some kind of drama to be had. Throughout the comms' run, the socks have formed friendships, romantic relationships, rivalries and reluctant alliances. Oh, and they have a talking cat.

The comms aren't all about the sockpuppets and their adventures, though. Before the comms took on a roleplay-esque premise, people would post whatever caught their fancy and start fake wanks for fun. The comms still do this, just not as much as they used to. Some of the funnier shipping wars have involved SnakesxPlane vs SnakexBadger, Mudkips, various food combinations, and Snape's Wives, Mrs. Sephiroth and Link's Queen having an orgy.


Tropes used in The War Comms include:
  • Abhorrent Admirer: William to Chastity, Patrick to Gordon, Rod to Sailor Bimbo
  • Aerith and Bob: Syrius, you have a really strange name compared with most of the other socks.
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Poor Syrius.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Rod certainly is.
  • Alpha Bitch: Trisha.
  • Anime Hair: Tons of it.
  • Annoying Younger Sibling: People pity Alyssia when they find out she's related to Patrick.
  • Artificial Limbs: Stella, with both her right arm and leg.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Josie's list of "filthy, horrible fandom trends" goes as follows - incest, rape, paedophilia, violence and broccoli.
  • Attention Whore: A lot of the socks have tendencies but the straightest examples are Esmeralda, Patrick, Trisha and Emily.
  • Blind Without'Em: Maxie and especially Nancy.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Do not bash characters around Alyssia.
    • Do not bash female characters around Hannah.
    • Don't mention Code Geass cosplay in front of Chastity if your names are Morgan and Kristan.
    • Don't threaten someone Ralph cares for if you're within his earshot range.
    • Maxie and Maya are VERY protective of their artworks.
    • Cassie hates it when people compare her to Cori Falls, or even worse, call her "Cori" to make fun of or insult her.
    • Don't call Trisha fat or by her full name unless you enjoy having beauty products thrown at you.
    • Want to make stuck-up Bridget lose her cool? Belittle the marriage she so proudly waves around like a status symbol.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Even the calmest, sweetest socks can be horribly upset at times.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Age-reversed with Ralph, who is rabidly protective of his older sister Janet. Played straight with Joe, who is easily ticked off by anyone who so much as looks at his younger sister Kate the wrong way.
  • Bishounen: Syrius, to the point where it's surprising no one's mistaken him for a girl yet.
  • Blondes Are Evil: Out of all the blonde socks in the bunch, Chris, Christine, and Stella are the only ones who aren't a pushy asshole or a spineless whiner.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Ralph, Stuart, Joe.
  • Bokukko: Karen, a Cosplay Otaku Girl who also makes a quite convincing Bifauxnen. Margot could fit in as well. (See Moe Moe below)
  • Braces of Orthodontic Overkill: Averted; Julia recently got traditional braces, but she doesn't need the headgear.
  • Bully Hunter: Julia, Alyssia, Maxie, Margot and Candy. Ralph is this and a Wife-Basher Basher.
  • Bunny Ears Lawyer: Janet is a straight A college student and quite the Cloudcuckoolander sometimes.
  • Butt Monkey: A lot of the more irritating socks are this trope due to the equally proportionate number of sane socks who won't put up with their bullshit. Unfortunately, some of the sane socks get this treatment as well now and then.
  • Cats Are Mean and Cute Kitten: Mittens can be a real asshole when he feels like it, but when he's in deredere mode he can be pretty adorable.
  • Character Development: Quite a few of the socks, most notably Sue (formerly a pastiche of every annoying Fan Dumb type) and Maxie (who used to only think about sex and porn).
  • Character Exaggeration: Many socks have had this happen to them, too. For example, Missy's misandrist Straw Feminist streak has gotten much more emphasis, while Lucy didn't use to be in such denial about her favourite bishies suffering and doing bad things.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Trisha to Ralph, Lucy to every bishounen she fancies, Patrick to Gordon
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Janet, Steve and Dave. Lucy is an obnoxious version.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Try counting the number of comments where Gordon doesn't drop this. Missy's pretty bad about it, too. And when in a bad mood, Ralph also slips into this cathegory.
  • Complaining About Shows You Don't Like: The socks' raison d'etre.
  • Cool Big Sis: Maxie, with her friend-with-benefits Joe being a Cool Big Bro. Karen views Alyssia as her Cool Big Sis, too.
  • Cool Loser: Molly
  • Cosplay Otaku Girl: Karen, Chastity. Ralph is a male version.
  • Cute Librarian: Janet
  • Cute Shotaro Boy: Mark, complete with a crush on an older woman. (Well, sort of; Karen is only one year ahead of him.)
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Rod, all the damn time. Maxie also goes on dates with Rosie Tipps sometimes.
  • Daydream Believer: Lucy, Emily and Patrick, to almost sickening levels
  • Deadpan Snarker: Aesa
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: Hannah, Cassie, and Olivia. Percival could count as a male version.
  • Demoted to Extra: If there's a meta post with most of the characters, Christine and Olivia will be left off of the first version.
  • Distaff Counterpart: Missy to Gordon, Molly to Syrius, Olivia to Percival.
  • Damsel in Distress: Esmeralda and Angela.
  • Does Not Like Men: If you're a male in Missy's presence, self-defense is crucial.
  • Dojikko: Sue and Maxie, though the latter's can mostly be chalked up to her love of stiletto heels...
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": Fandom Cat used to go into hissy fits whenever anyone called him Mittens. He's cooled down about this a little, but still hates it. Also, don't call Trisha by her full name or she'll throw a bitch fit.
  • Dramatic Gasp: Kristan, Angela, Josie and Esmeralda are good at this.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: Sue, Essie and Missy's earlier posts. Sue used to preach about canon before Essie was created, Essie used to preach about feminism before Missy was created, and Missy was slightly more laid back.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Syrius and Patricia Trisha.
  • Emo Teen: Syrius, although he's likable. Patrick, not so much.
  • Every Girl Is Cuter With Hair Decs: Hannah and her white headband, though she's much more "pretty" than "cute". Karen also uses headbands if she feels girly enough.
  • Everythings Better With Bunnies: Cassie has two of 'em.
  • Everything's Better with Princesses: Subverted hard by Missy. She uses the title in her journal name, then proceeds to defy - no, spit on everything the Princess trope stands for.
  • Eyes of Gold: Morgan
  • The Faceless: Subverted; Joe's sister Kate, Chastity's boyfriend Anton-Klaus, Mitten's girlfriend Lune and Julia's stalker Howie do make appearances, but they lack journals. Played straight with Beth, Janet and Ralph's other sister.
  • Fan Service and Fetish Fuel: So, SO much.
  • Fetish Fuel Station Attendant:
  • Fiery Redhead: Maxie and Ralph. Subverted by the even-tempered Janet, sweet as pie Stephanie, and shy, quiet Molly.
  • Fragile Flower: Patrick and Lucy are overblown parodies of this trope. Played straight with Syrius, however.
  • Friends Rent Control: We never know who's paying the rent on the safehouse...
  • Friends with Benefits: Joe and Maxie.
  • The Fundamentalist: Maylene and Angela (Christian variant), Monica and Kristan (non-Christian variant)
  • Gag Boobs: Maxie. Subverted with Angela, who is deeply and predictably ashamed of her D-cups.
  • Gasshole: Rod likes to fart on the more prudish socks in response to their bitching. Or just for fun.
  • Genki Girl: Sue
  • Genre Savvy: The saner socks are aware of the consequences of their fannish behaviors and try to use them to their advantage.
  • Girlish Pigtails: Sue
  • Girl with Psycho Weapon: Parodied with Sue, Maxie, Julia and Hannah (fish, dildos, bookshelves and mop, respectively). Ralph is a male version with his basketball.
  • The Glorious War of Sisterly Rivalry: Trisha and Stephanie.
  • Granola Girl: Maya, a bit.
  • Groin Attack: Gordon and Missy have both been on the receiving ends of this. But to be fair, they deserve it. Rod's gotten a few of these as well.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Gordy and Patrick.
  • Heroes Want Redheads: Ralph with Molly, Joe with Maxie and Stephanie.
  • Het Is Ew: Monica believes heterosexuality will kill the gay rights movement, and let's not go into Patrick and Rod's psychotic levels of hatred for it.
  • Heteronormative Crusader: Maylene, Josie and Angela. Essie might as well be a lite version (she doesn't outwardly condemn homosexuals and transsexuals, but she's a stickler for "traditional values" and loudly decries Maxie's shameless, sexy attitude as "disgusting").
  • Hippie Teacher: What Maya wants to be.
  • Hollywood Atheist: Monica.
  • Hot-Blooded: Ralph is a Cosplay Otaku Boy with a serious case of No Indoor Voice. Stuart is also pretty hotblooded, though he's also rather annoying.
  • Hot Shounen Mom: Marion, Kevin's mother.
  • Ho Yay and Les Yay: Everywhere!
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Ralph is over 6'0 tall, so has these dynamics with any female he gets along with - specially his sisters, his best friend Karen and his girlfriend Molly. Joe and Sue are a platonic version of this.
  • I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me: Ralph and Molly.
  • Image Boards: Stuart loves 4chan. So does Ralph, though he's less vocal.
  • The Ingenue: Parodied mercilessly with Esmeralda.
  • Jerk Jock: Stuart has definite shades of this. Subverted with Ralph, who looks the part but is much more Jock than Jerk.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: This fits Ralph quite more.
  • Killer Rabbit: Janet's chinchilla. Gordon most likely sees Cassie's rabbits this way... and as it so happens, the original Killer Rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail is half the reason for his bunny phobia!
  • Knight Templar Parent: Josephine isn't above ripping up Rod's porn or burning Chris's Disney videos to protect her children from their existence.
  • Kuudere: Cassie is this combined with Type A Tsundere. Olivia also has shades of this (she's a no-nonsense elitist type, but she showed her soft side in her intro thread while squeeing over Janet's chinchilla).
  • Large Ham: Stuart and Ralph. Put these two in the same room and they'll compete to see who is the loudest of the duo.
  • Lethal Chef: Sue is a variant in that her food is edible, but her in a kitchen equals disaster. Especially if there's fire involved.
  • Long-Haired Pretty Boy: Syrius.
  • Loveable Sex Maniac: Maxie, who shows us that not all porn freaks are depraved sociopathic assholes.
  • Love Makes You Crazy: Crazy and in denial, in the case of Lucy.
  • Magic Skirt: Julia.
  • May September Romance: Kevin/Margot. He's 17, she's a really mature 13 years old.
  • Melodrama: Kristan and Essie are VERY good at this.
  • Meaningful Name: Margot's username and Chastity. The latter was even lampshaded.
  • Meganekko: Janet, Nancy, Maxie, Stephanie, Sandy.
  • Mismatched Eyes: Kevin and his mother Marion. While it doesn't symbolize anything special, it's interesting to know that Kevin's eyes is reversed from his mother. They both have one eye blue and the other a shade of amber.
  • Moe Couplet: Ralph (Hot-Blooded, loud, sporty) and Molly (thoughtful, sweet, shy)
  • Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher: Well, Mary Ellen is a kindergarten teacher, but she still tries to force her rosy tinted view of the world on socks who are way older than her students. And a cat who doesn't give a damn either way.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Maxie.
  • Multicoloured Hair: Syrius. The black tips are dyed, but the purple is natural.
  • Naive Everygirl: Molly. Stephanie and Julia have shades of this, and Christine could become this when she gets older.
  • No Punctuation Period: lucy just lucy
  • Not Helping Your Case: This has gotten Trisha and Essie into trouble quite a few times.
  • Odd Friendship: Hyperactive Sue and cynical Hannah.
    • Possibly Ralph and Hannah too.
  • Official Couple: Ralph/Molly, Kevin/Margot. As for Kristan/Morgan, we're just waiting for them to come out and admit it outright.
  • The Ojou: Subverted with Lily: she looks and acts the part well, but isn't super rich and lots of her cash comes from her work at the family store.
  • Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Chastity as an Asian variation, Morgan, Cassie, Maya, Lily.
  • Panty Shot: Trisha, constantly.
  • Parental Abandonment: There's quite a few Missing Moms and Disappeared Dads.
  • Peek-a-Bangs: Syrius's bangs cover his right eye, while Morgan's hair tends to hide her entire face.
  • Perma-Stubble: Gordon.
  • Pet the Dog: Cassie has her better moments, when she's not being a snooty elitist: she treats Syrius (and sometimes, Sue) rather well and is the proud owner of several pet bunnies. A more shocking example is Missy praising Josephine's daughter Catherine after noticing the girl's rebellious streak.
  • Petite Pride: Karen uses her flat chest to her advantage, since she can cosplay guys very easily because of her small boobs.
  • Platonic Life Partners: Ralph and Karen. When asked if they're a couple, they're grossed out.
  • Plump And Proud: Alyssia.
  • The Pollyanna: Mary Ellen is a parody/deconstruction.
  • Proper Lady - Yamato Nadeshiko: Maya mixes this with Granola Girl, Lily plays it straighter. Julia has some shades of this as well despite her young age.
    • This is what Esmeralda wants to be. Problem is, she's way too melodramatic and narrowminded to be one.
  • Psycho Lesbian: Missy's made some rather suggestively deranged comments towards several of the female socks, most notably Essie and Trisha.
  • Psychotic Smirk: Morgan.
  • Punny Name: Lots of these.
  • Rape as Redemption: Subverted with Trisha; after anonymouse Alexa went way too far in fighting her off, Trisha was quite broken for a while...unfortunately, when she bounced back she decided to hate on all lesbians.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Mark is gonna squee over fluffy romances, worship cute characters, pick flowers and there's not a damn thing anyone can do to discourage him. Chris is a variant of the Real Men Still Love Disney kind.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Subverted by Syrius, who quickly turned out to be a gentle boy who's only a danger to himself.
  • Retcon: Joe was 21 during his first appearances, later his age was changed to 19. Possibly Molly, Julia and Syrius's friendship (they met for the first time on the comms during Molly and Syrius's intro threads, but it was later revealed they went to the same school and were classmates. Though to be fair, it could've been a case of "oh, so you and my classmate are one and the same?! Who knew!")
  • Romantic Two-Girl Friendship: Molly and Julia. Kristan and Morgan are also this at the very least, if not a flat-out Official Couple.
  • Scary Shiny Glasses: Maxie
  • Selective Enforcement: Sort of. The sane socks don't exactly get away with murder, but people come down a lot harder on socks like Rod, Missy, Josie and Gordon than ones like Margot, Ralph, Joe and Christine no matter what the circumstances are.
  • Selective Obliviousness: Good grief, Lucy!
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Syrius and either Ralph or Joe.
  • Shrinking Violet: Christine, Nancy, Molly.
  • Shut UP, Hannibal: People love to whip this one out on the nastier socks.
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: Ralph and Janet, Gordon and Lucy.
  • Sickeningly Sweethearts: Esmeralda and Tuxedo Wank Man, BIG TIME.
  • Single-Issue Wonk:
    • Cassie will go from calm and pleasant to frothing rage if you so much as mention protagonist characters like Aang or Usagi.
    • Don't try to convince Ralph that manga is better than anime.
      • Even worse, just look at his sister, his girlfriend and/or Syrius wrong. He may forgive you in regards to anime and manga, but if you threaten anyone he cares for, things will get BAD.
    • Hannah is somewhat hypocritical when it comes to character defence and bashing; while she's extremely protective of most female characters, she's a hell of a lot harder on male ones, and there's a select few guys that she hates to vicious degrees. She does know her own faults, though.
  • Slap Slap Kiss: People love to try to invoke this with bickering pairs such as Missy and Esmeralda or Trisha, Rod and Lucy, Percival and Sandy, Cassie and Martina, and Gordon and Missy. Rod and Sailor Bimbo are a canon variant; he does the kissing (or tries to) and she does the slapping.
  • Small Girl, Big Gun: Petite Julia can lift bookshelves when properly angered.
  • Smart People Wear Glasses: Bridget
  • Soapbox Sadie: Cassie, Alyssia to a lesser extent.
  • Social Darwinist: Gordon thinks only BIG BAD MANLY MEN are worthy and everyone else deserves abuse and punishment for being "weak", though he subverts the trope by being rather pathetic and weak himself. Missy is a female version whose idea of "helping" the softer socks toughen up is bullying them to tears - if they don't kick her in the face first, that is.
  • Sock Puppet: Obviously!
  • Sparkling Stream of Tears: Kristan and Essie.
  • Spoiled Sweet: Maya is hinted to be from a rather rich family, but she's not snobbish or anything.
  • Straw Feminist: Missy. Just goddamn Missy.
  • Straw Misogynist: Fucking Gordon.
  • Supreme Chef: Surprisingly, Ralph is an excellent cook. Specially in regards to pizza, salads and fruit-based drinks.
  • Teenage Boys Kick Shins: Mark prefers this method of dealing with bullies and other annoying people.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Gordon tries to be the very image of MANLINESS!!! but tends to fail miserably.
  • Take That: Pretty much all the "bad" socks are over the top mockeries of the creators' most hated Fan Dumb cliches.
  • Talking Animal: Mittens
  • Team Mom: Janet, Lily, maybe Hannah. Marion is the literal version of this trope.
  • Teens Are Monsters: Played straight with Trisha, Missy, Rod, Patrick, Monica, Emily and Michelle; subverted with Margot, Karen, Molly, Julia, Syrius, and Mark. Sue, Ralph and Nancy vary depending on several factors, mainly whether or not someone pisses them off.
  • Three Amigos: Molly, Julia and Syrius.
  • Throw the Book At Them: Janet. Or the bookshelf, if we talk about Julia.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: Karen and either Janet or Nancy.
  • Traumatic Haircut: Maxie and Julia teamed up to dye Trisha's hair bright red after she pulled a particularly nasty stunt on Molly and Syrius.
  • Troperiffic
  • Tsundere: Hannah and Cassie (Type A), Karen and Alyssia (Type B)
  • Unholy Matrimony: Morgan and Kristan like to try to invoke this.
  • Unusual Euphemism: Stuart likes to refer to sex as "levelling up".
  • Valley Girl: Trisha, which is like, totally ironic considering she prides herself on being like, soooo trendy and totally with the program and all.
  • Villainous Crossdresser: Missy. According to her, the only good thing about men are the clothes they get to wear.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: Alyssia's anti-character bashing crusade.
  • Wholesome Crossdresser: Syrius occasionally wears skirts and dresses.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Gordon and rabbits, Lucy and frogs, Missy and penguins.
  • Wife-Basher Basher: Do not ever look at a girl Ralph cares for wrong.
  • Wise Beyond Their Years: 13 years old Margot's parents pretty much raised her into this.
  • Wounded Gazelle Gambit: Patrick and Esmeralda are especially fond of this.
  • Yandere/CuteAndPsycho: Nancy loves this character type and happens to be quite Cute and Psycho herself.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Hannah and Margot, literally.
  • Zettai Ryouiki: Nancy. Karen uses the hotpants + socks variation if she feels girlish enough.