Time Lord/Beethoven and Other Alien Spies

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.



Kazia Sing is a Time Lord

Or rather, she [dead link] will later be identified as one, because of this [dead link].

Keanu Reeves is a Time Lord

This video explains everything.

Derren Brown

Hypnotist. British accent. Wears smart black suits. Sports a Beard of Evil. Charmer. Master manipulator. Likes watching David Tennant in a wetsuit. Make your own conclusions.

Larry King

Larry King is a Time Lord, and his studio is the inside of his TARDIS. When he "retires," he is actually regenerating into Piers Morgan. In a previous incarnation, he was Johnny Carson.

He does bare many similarities to the Doctor:

  • Suspenders, a tie: see any wardrobe similarities here?
  • He has had various companions in his current incarnation, including Ryan Seacrest, Al Gore, Jack Hanna, Lady GaGa, Kermit the Frog, and Bill Maher.
    • His equivalent to River Song is Barbara Walters; and his equivalent to the Master is Howard Stern.
    • Wolf Blitzer is his Jack Harkness, and CNN is Torchwood 3, and or UNIT
  • He has also interviewed people on-site in the White House, their prison cells, their homes, and other unique locations... IN HIS TARDIS!!!

The Presidents

George Washington was a time lord, and further, the only president in American history.

Each of the folks who have supposedly held the office are actually simply his regenerations. His actual name is "The President", though he prefers to be called "Mr. President".

  • But that would make him his own father at least twice...
    • Helps the cover story.
  • For that matter, he would be his own grandfather once and also his own (distant) cousin once. And this requires far too many regenerations once you get past Millard Fillmore or thereabouts and some serious paradox otherwise.
  • Grover Cleveland (the second time around) was an degeneration.
  • How did he become Barack Obama?...
    • He's changed gender before (if only in satires) and apparently could more seriously (the latest Doctor's self-check includes "Am I a girl?"), so why not ethnicity? Besides a) it's only half-way in Obama's case anyway and b) Some of us were hoping for Patterson Joseph next anyway, you know?
  • His regenerations have been dictated by his greatest humiliation in his previous form. After being menaced by a rabbit, he transformed into an action movie star. After Kanye West called him out for not caring about black people, he turned into a black man and called Kanye a jackass.

Alan Moore

Alan Moore is a Time Lord.

The secret reason for why he left DC Comics wasn't because of creative differences, but because he was regenerating into Warren Ellis. To hide this fact, Ellis wrote From Hell, Lost Girls, and the entire America's Best Comics line under his previous regeneration's name. Also, he has a Meta-Crisis Alan Moore to use for public appearances.

  • Obviously, one of his previous regenerations was Rasputin, Possibly even the same regeneration, rather than dying he jumped ahead a few years to 1970s England.

Alan Moore's Beard is a Time Lord

Moore's chin is its TARDIS.

Barack Obama

Barack Obama is a Time Lord.

  • The suitcase with the nuclear missile codes is his TARDIS.
    • Had this troper known, he would have voted for Obama.
  • He is the newly regenerated Time Lord who has been in power since the days of the Continental Congress.
  • He is former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair regenerated as Barack Obama. Think about it. Do YOU know where Tony Blair is these days? Have you seen him lately? This is why.

Alternately...

Barack Obama is the latest incarnation of The Master.

A common trait (or so they say) of his voters? They couldn't name a position he ever stood for, simply the fact he spoke well and his speeches were easy on the ears. The question is, who am I talking about: Harold Saxon, or Barack Obama? * Insert Scare Chord here.*

    • There is also the fact that he seemingly showed up out of nowhere.
    • Wait a second...Harold Saxon wasn't a parody of Obama?
      • Nope, the Season 3 finale was written for the 2007 season of Doctor Who, meaning Saxon predated Obama.
      • Wait, you mean Barack Obama is only three years old?!? No wonder they tried to bury his birth certificate!
    • In "The End Of Time", the Master transforms all but two of mankind into a copy of himself. Obama is clearly seen transforming into one. Therefore...

Theodore Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt was a Time Lord and the big stick was his TARDIS. Reason he didn't die when he got shot in the chest - two hearts. Also he was too badass and multi talented to have acquired all that in a single normal lifetime.

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson was a Time Lord.

The "plastic surgery" was a coverup for his regenerations. His last one was his 13th, which is why he is now permanently dead.

Jesus

  • It would explain how he came back from the dead after being crucified, and why he was always preaching the non-violence.
  • Furthermore, Jesus's next regeneration is Sexy Jesus from Hamlet 2, who looks a lot like the normal one but, well, sexier. The Time Machine in which he goes to visit Hamlet is his Tardis.
  • John 11:28:

And when she had so said, she went her way, and called Mary her sister secretly, saying, The Master is come, and calleth for thee.

Jesus is a Time Lord, and his regenerations have been Buddha, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr. among others.

  • This is very, very unlikely for many reasons, not least of which is that Siddhartha Guatama (aka "The Buddha") was born sometime c. 563 BCE and died c. 483 BCE, while Yehoshua Bin Yehosef Min Natzerat, Ha Moshiyach (aka "Jesus Christ") was born c. 6 BCE and was crucified c. 27 BCE; and Mohandas K. Gandhi was born in 1869 and died in 1948, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was born in 1929 and died in 1968.
    • I'm not fond of this WMG, but you should realize that time lords can, you know, time travel, so one of his regenerations could happen chronologically before the original.
    • I think you mean 27 CE, unless you think he traveled in time to be crucified 21 years before his birth.
      • Apologies - I did mean c. 27 CE!
      • I thought Jesus was born in 33 BCE, because his death was the "trigger" for the "Common Era"?
        • No, the "trigger" for the "Common Era" was the year that a Medieval monk believed Jesus was born, but historians agree that Jesus was born at least 5 years before that, if not more.
  • Buddha was clearly his final regeneration, as evidenced by the whole "escaping the cycle of rebirth" thing. He just decided to spend his final lifetime in ancient India.
    • Siddhartha Guatama (aka "The Buddha") lived in Nepal, not India.

Santa Claus

Santa is a Time Lord.

In most depictions, Santa's sack is clearly too small to fit presents for every good little Christian, Muslim, Japanese, and non-insane atheist kid in the world. If it was, it would never fit in his sleigh. Hence, like the Doctor's pockets, it must have unlimited space on the outside. The sleigh is clearly a TARDIS, which allows Santa to visit all those homes in a single night by frequently traveling back in time.

  • And The Santa Clause is just the cover-up for Santa's regeneration.
  • The Doctor is Santa. "Red bicycle when you were twelve."
    • Which would, thanks to the proof that Dr. Mcninja is Santa, make Santa Dr. Mcninja.
    • The chameleon circuit isn't broken, it's part of the Masquerade: pretending it's stuck as a Police Box prevents people from guessing that it turns into a sleigh.
    • This would also make Stephen Colbert the Doctor, as it is revealed at the end of A Stephen Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All, that Stephen Colbert is, in fact, Santa Claus.
  • Lots of planets have a North Pole

Pink Floyd Syd Barrett

Syd Barrett was a Time Lord.

I don't think this one needs much explaining, actually.

Cosmos Carl Sagan

  • Okay, let's see, traveled through time AND space in a Cool Starship, dressed unusually, worked for the survival of humanity... He took a camera along and just filmed some of his adventures. And since he addresses the viewer several times in Cosmos, that makes his companion... you.

Neil Gaiman is a Time Lord

He doesn't write fiction. He writes 'essays'.

Noah is a Time Lord...

And the animals and his family are his companions, and the ark was his TARDIS.

...And so was almost everyone else in pre-Abrahamic days.

Why were people able to live for hundreds of years (longest listed in the Bible was 969) back then? Because they had the absurd longevity of Time Lords. The flood wiped most of them out, except for the few who were on the ark. There were presumably human genes mixed in somewhere which over time diluted the lifespan to a regular one.

Roger, Francis and Kevin Bacon are all the same Time Lord

Irregular Webcomic! #2088 (written by a Time Lord, so he would know) explains why they are the same person, and a time traveller. Regeneration explains the changes in appearance between each identity.

  • Shakespeare is one of his companions. This explains why he is not on the list of British time travellers, even though he was born in 1964, lives and works in modern times, and was a famous playwright who wrote his best known works 400 years ago. He will one day meet Bacon, travel with him, and eventully settled down in the 1500s/1600s, where he used his experience writing Harry Potter fanfic to earn a living as a poet and playwright.

David Bowie is a Time Lord

  • Each of his "personas" (i.e. Ziggy Stardust, Hallowe'en Jack, The Thin White Duke, etc.) is the result of a regeneration. This eplains how he looks so different each time he "re-invents" himself.

Nikola Tesla

Nikola Tesla is a Time Lord.

Oda Nobunaga is a Time Lord

"The Demon King" made others think he was eccentric as a youth, which seems to be a Time Lord habit. Possible companions were/are Nouhime, Hideyoshi, and Ranmaru. And, if we look at the Dynasty Warriors games, he could have regenerated from Cao Cao.

Bob Dylan is a Time Lord

Case in point: Todd Haynes's documentary about Dylan, I'm Not There.

Bob Dylan: Well, I used to be [a much older man]! much older!

Liam Neeson is a Time Lord

The movies he stars in are not fiction; they are in fact part of a Gallifreyan reality show that follows his regenerations across galaxies and history. Whenever he dies in what we think are movies, that's just him regenerating. He's also a powerful and eccentric enough Time Lord that he can regenerate into a lion.

Jack Chick is a Time Lord

The reason that he never gives pictures or interviews is to hide his regenerations

Walt Disney is a Time Lord

He regenerated into John Lasseter! Which is why Pixar's films are so good, and why Disney's overall quality improved when he was put in charge of certain things.

  • Alternatively, he regenerated into Yen Sid! His name is a big hint, plus the opening cutscene of Epic Mickey seems to heavily imply this is true, at least in the fictional world.

The Dalai Lama is a Time Lord

He travels around the world, doing good deeds and is reincarnated when he dies.

Everyone is a Time Lord

  • And all of them are the master.
    • Breaking News - He's everyone!
    • If you are this far in the page and you haven't realized that you and everyone else are all Time Lords... I weep for you.

Ludwig Van Beethoven

Beethoven was a Time Lord.

  • The rhythmic motif found throughout his Fifth Symphony (short-short-short-long) matches both the Time Lord heartbeat and Morse Code (which he predates) for "V," or "victory."
  • He said of his late quartets, "Oh, they are not for you, but for a later age."

Princess Beatrice

  • Just look at the alien technology she managed to smuggle into the wedding of the man second in line to the throne of the UK.

Helena Bonham Carter is a Time Lord.

Keith Richards is a Time Lord.

  • He's immune to drugs and coconut trees. The rest of the Stones are his companions, and his TARDIS is a tour bus which is why the Rolling Stones will never have an actual final tour.
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