Todd in the Shadows/Funny

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Paparazzi

  • The introduction to his second video reads:

"In which I take on the unholy entity known as Lady Gaga and run away screaming."


Party In The U.S.A.

  • Todd explains the plot of the song - Miley gets off the plane in L.A., but she's so different from everybody else she's worried about fitting in... and then she hears her favorite song and feels safe again.

Miley: And a Jay Z song was on/ and a Jay-Z song was on.
Todd: Jay-Z, huh? Jay-Z. Hmmm. Let's think about what kind of Jay-Z song little Miley could have been listening to. *plays a number of clips from different Jay-Z songs, all of them featuring either swearwords or racial slurs*
Todd: Hmm. Maybe she was just listening to Darius Rucker and thought he was Jay-Z.

  • "That was the new hit song 'Party in the USA', by a squirrel falling out of a tree"
  • Todd complaining that "in the USA" isn't specific enough. He goes on to joke that people would mistake the country for Belgium if Miley didn't reference being in the USA during the song. But he also complained that "in the USA" is so vague that the song might as well be "Party in the Inner Solar System".
  • Todd is playing "America's favourite game", Finish the Rhyme:

Miley: This is all so crazy, Everybody seems so--
Todd: Hazy? Lazy? ...JAY-Z??
Jay-Z: Fuckas!

  • Most of the ending songs are funny in their own way, but the one for this video, a chipmunked version of "Achy Breaky Heart", was the best one by far.


Whatcha Say

  • Todd explains the origin of the sample of "Hide and Seek" in "Whatcha' Say", and then says that what he finds to be most disturbing about it is that the sample actually works in the song.

Todd: So I guess this song is about how this guy cheated... on Imogen Heap, I guess! Why would you cheat on Imogen Heap, you jerk?

  • Asking if Derulo is "riverdancing how sorry [he] is".
  • Singing along with alternate lyrics. "But when I become a star, I'll buy houses and cars, while I sleep around on you! Oooh whatcha say, oh that you're a lying sack of crap, 'cause you totally are, oh whatcha say - forgot to say you wouldn't do it again! You idiot!"
  • apology twirl
  • The phonetic spellings of Derulo's "Tell me whatcha say".

Subtitles: TAIMIWACHASAIYAAA!!
Subtitles: Timmy whatcha say ah?

  • Demanding that Derulo sing his own chorus, and then "Is he singing along? You can't sing along with her, you moron! She's being sarcastic!", which devolves into furious ranting as Derulo claims that "of course it is" all for the best.
  • The end is a truly hilarious piece of Hypocritical Humour.


3

  • Todd has some trouble making out some of the lyrics.

Britney: One, two, three, why don't me, you and me-
Todd: *points toward himself* Me, *points away from self* you, *points back to self* and... me? How many Britneys are there in this equation?

  • In a later part of the review, Todd points out a part of the song that has a sigh added at the end of a line to make it sound like a word was censored. He explains that there's no word that actually goes there and says that it doesn't work because his mind just blurs the next word into the line, so instead of 'Everybody loves... *sigh*', it becomes...

Britney: "Everybody loves counting 1, 2, 3...
The Count: 3! 3 apples! Ah-ah-ah!

  • Being so distracted by the unintelligible lyrics that he forgets to be enraged by the line itself.

Todd: Well there's your problem right there! It's a terrible rhyme! It's pronounced "Mary", not "Mya-ree", or whatever you said. That just sounds stupid.It makes her sound like English isn't her first lan...guage... Peter, Paul and Mary???

  • After screaming about the reference to Peter, Paul and Mary, Todd says that now none of their songs will sound innocent to him. Cue clips from 'Lemon Tree', 'If I Had A Hammer', and 'Blowing In The Wind'. Then you get this:

Peter, Paul, and Mary: The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is *skips* blowing- blowing- blowing-
Todd: ARRRRRRRGH!

Break Up

  • Any instance of Mario.
  • "This is the music of Hell! This is, like, evil haunted fun-house music!"
  • "Who cares what they're rapping about?! It's the sound of like somebody turned my nightmares into audio!"
    • Really, the entire review is one big Freak-Out.


Bad Romance

  • His reaction to the opening lyrics.

Todd: My God... I'VE GONE INSANE! Oh wait, that's the song. I thought the voices in my head returned.

    • Also, Todd admits that the song is not that bad, he kinda likes it... then the song ends with the opening lyrics and he ends up crying.
  • Also, his reaction to the jumbled up Lady Gaga mess in that exact song.

Todd: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! SHE'S A DEMON FROM HELL!!

    • Related, the constant mondegreens ("Watch ya borrow man!") and complaints at the inane babbling.
      • "Why is she singing like a vampire with Down's Syndrome?"
  • "What is this? Did she run out of English? Is she summoning Cthulhu?"
  • The "continuous perversion of the word love":

"Poker Face": Love = Abuse

"LoveGame": Love = Gross Club Sex

"Paparazzi": Love = Stalking

"Bad Romance": I Don't Know


TiK ToK

  • His review of "TiK ToK" has a great line.

Todd: [Ke$ha]'s like Fergie, except with severe brain damage! [beat] So it's like Fergie!

  • The joke about how Ke$ha's fans would probably get pedicures on their eyeballs if she didn't specify where she got it was great.
  • Comparing the song's title to his alleged podcast, "Tick Talk".
  • His response to Kesha's preference for people to look like Mick Jagger is to cut to a picture of the guy and simply say:

Todd: Well all right, it that really does it for you.

  • The joke about the "wrong people" hearing the song and going along with it. Funnier if you actually know people like that.


I Can Transform Ya
  • rock drumbeat, chainsaw, braying* I can transform ya! I can transform ya!
  • His deadpan mocking of the sounds of the "song" in general. "WANNA-WA. WANNA-WA."


Top 10 Worst Hit Songs of 2009

(counter reaches 20)

Interstella guys: One more time!

Todd: No more times!

  • And the priceless moment when, while trying to understand the sex appeal of Kiss Me Thru The Phone, Todd ends up making out with his cell phone.
  • Todd's sarcastically chipper delivery of "I think Soulja Boy's getting better!"
  • His reactions to "Birthday Sex."

Happy Birthday! I got you my orgasm! *blows noisemaker*
Fellas, no matter how good you think you are at it, this is not an acceptable gift! It only makes sense if you're really bad at it the rest of the year!

    • And after that, him imitating Jeremih's constant "ah-ah-ah"ing.

Todd: AAAAH! I'M SORRY! I'LL PUT A RING ON IT!

  • "Beyonce had one of the--" "Worst songs of all time."


The Top 11 Best Hit Songs of 2009

  • "I thought Katy Perry's first hit, I Kissed a Girl, told me everything I needed to know about her. She's dumb, she's obnoxious, and she has a singing voice so bad, it makes Bob Dylan sound like Pavarotti."
  • Eminem made a comeback, apparently. Todd takes it well.

Eminem: I'm Hannibal Lecter, so just in case you're thinkin' of savin' face, you ain't gonna have no face to save!
Todd: Eminem just threatened to EAT your FACE! AWESOME!


Replay

  • "Iyaz? That's not a name, that's an invalid Scrabble move!"
  • He comments that the song isn't original and actually is kind of boring. And then he falls asleep on his piano.
  • The reaction to the chorus. First, a caption reading "Replay is sponsored by Apple" and saying "This girl is like a broken iPod. How romantic". Then:

To me, it sounds more like an insult. "Old lady, nananana, every day."

  • "That girl's like something off a poster". "What poster?" (shows a poster of John Belushi)


Fifteen

  • Todd gets rather annoyed when Taylor doesn't inform the listeners of what exactly happened with her and the senior she was dating, instead giving a vague line.

Todd: That's it? That's all you're going to share? What happened? Why'd you break up? Was he a heroin addict? Did he cheat on you with Carrie Underwood? Was he called back to his home planet? You've just got nothing you want to say about this, huh?

  • He also points out that the song loses some of its depth because the story Taylor tells about her friend Abigail actually did happen to Abigail - or rather, if you're going to tell a sad, emotional story, make sure it's about you, and not about your friend.

Todd: I'm not going to sit here and be sad because you're sad that Taylor's sad that Abigail's sad.

  • Early in the review, he translates the overall message of the song as "Boy, fifteen year olds sure are stupid! Like, really stupid. Pants-on-backwards stupid."
  • Todd goes into a long, astonishingly emotional monologue about how when he was in high school his girlfriend Kelly broke up with him at a school dance and left him for a college guy, and how it was the worst thing that ever happened to him in high school.

Todd: ...except for the part where none of that ever happened to me. That happened to Zack Morris on Saved by the Bell.


Do You Remember

  • Todd asks why Lil Jon is on the track, pointing out that his presence was not necessary and that the track doesn't sound better for it. To illustrate this point, he plays a song with Lil Jon on it, and then compares it to footage from Swan Lake, before throwing in a picture of Lil Jon and a shout of "Yeah, Swan Lake!"
  • In the same review, he points out Sean Paul's status as The Unintelligible and proves that he could actually be singing anything.

Todd: Grocery list... the preamble to the Constitution...
[[[Beat]]]
Todd: (imitating Sean) We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility...

We Are The World 25

  • Todd comments first on how there aren't many really good pop stars on the track, but there are some. He later points out that since most of today's pop stars are rappers, and many of the stars collaborating are rappers, the remake sounds kinda odd. We then get to see several of the rappers singing the song, with the caption "We tha world, muthafuckaz!"
  • You can tell this is the gonna be the most misguided, still-born excuse for a song you've ever heard when they have to start the song—I mean, make their first impression out to the world so you can save orphaned children, and the best way you can start the song...is with Justin Bieber. I wanna give this kid a swirly every time I see him, I swear to God.
  • Comparing Wyclef Jean's voice to Homsar's.
  • Lil Wayne is the only person in the world who could come close to sounding as bad as Bob Dylan did in the original.
  • "Please, no more duets with dead people."
    • Zombie Michael Jackson supports Haiti!
  • Said to Enrique Iglesias: "Look, the world got sick of your Latin-lover schtick a long time ago. Go away, and find some testicles, you quivering loser."
  • Kanye sez: I am the world!

Bedrock

  • GROCERY BAG!
  • After listening to the first few lines of Nicki Minaj's part.

Todd: Well, isn't this nice! I didn't know that one of the Rugrats could rap.

  • His alarm over Gudda Gudda's name.

Todd: Sir, I can tell you're a man of taste and class and intelligence, named Gudda Gudda. So I can tell you're already clearly well beyond criticism, so I think I'll just skip this verse entirely.

  • On Lloyd's delivery of the chorus:

Todd: Hey, Gudda Gudda, how would you describe this guy?
Gudda Gudda: No Stevie Wonder.

Todd: Right on!

  • And of course the ending.

Todd: Once again, my faith in pop music has been destroyed, which means that once again, it's time for me to kill myself. And I know just how to do it, too! GROCERY BAG!


Blah Blah Blah

  • He starts to listen to Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah" and promptly quits the site, thanking his fans for all the support they've given him throughout the years. Todd in the Shadows reviews: 2010-2010 (It was his first TGWTG review).
  • His reaction to the line "Turn around boy / Let me hit that"

Todd: I don't think I understand the mechanics here.
Ke$ha: Don't be a little bitch with your chit-chat / Just show me where your dick's at.
Todd:It's between his legs. You know, the crotch area, that's where it usually is on most guys. You should know that. I mean, not that I'm making any assumptions about your character here, but I'm pretty sure you are well acquainted with the location of the penis.

  • "Oh, great. The Douchebag Duo have arrived."
    • Particularly since he's spent the past few lines baffled by the idea that that there's someone whose talking is so annoying that Ke$ha is telling them to shut up. As soon as 3OH!3 arrives, he understands completely.
  • Early on in the review, he complains that the actual "musical" backing just sounds like someone threw random stuff at a synthesizer. Then the video cuts to his keyboard, with random objects being chucked at it from off camera.


Sexy Chick / Bitch

  • After finding out that the song is "Sexy Bitch", not "Sexy Chick", Todd gets... rather annoyed.

Todd: What? PROFANITY? THIS SHALL NOT STAND!

    • Which becomes even funnier when he realises that the only censored word is bitch.

Todd: You kids today are sheltered.

  • Todd explains the "virgin-whore complex" and then says that Akon appears to have a slightly altered version.

Subtitles: Bitch-whore complex
Todd: *turns to look at subtitles, turns back to his piano* Fix that.

Subtitles: Chick-whore complex

Todd: There we go.

  • The list of three-syllable words he came up with to replace "Sexy chick", which include "licensed vet", "blargle floop", "Billy Mays" and "You are a worthless sex object and I'm going to stick my-"
  • Hidden meaning: I'm a moron!
  • Song Title: "I Wanna Fuck You". Hidden meaning: I wanna fuck you.
  • And then there's this:

Todd: Oh, this is great, too. He's not just complimenting this girl, he's defending her honour.
Akon: They say she low down, that's just a rumour and I don't believe them.
Todd: How dare thy stain my good lady's name! Her! The most sexiest of all biatches!

  • In keeping with the censorship theme of the episode:

Todd: If I haven't made this clear, I think this song is a--
Akon: Chiiick.
Todd: --king piece of dog--
Akon: Chiiick.
Todd: And I have no idea why anyone listens to it, even by the low, low standards of dance music. And I've spent God knows how long studying it. I mean, that's just...one of those things that really just makes you really just feel bad about what you've done with your life, you know? So that's all. Good night. I'm gonna read some classic literature or something.

Hidden meaning: He's gonna watch some pirated episodes of iCarly.


Imma Be

  • He tries shooting himself repeatedly. With a fake gun. Without realizing until after 10 seconds.
  • He also says that he has discovered that in the remake of The Wicker Man, Nicolas Cage was actually screaming "No, not the Peas!"
  • Fergie's "acoustic album".
  • The Brain Bleach-necessitating Mondegreen of the line "Imma be spreadin' my wings" to "Imma be spreadin' my wangs."
  • His growing horror at the "loanin' out semen" line.
  • When Todd declares that this isn't a song, but a YTMND.


Telephone

  • He compares the song's lyrical content to this:

Todd: *singing, while playing the piano* Got an itchy leg / Got an itchy leg / Oh what an itch on my leg, leg, leg / It's an itchy, itchy itch on my leg, leg, leg / What can I do about this itch on my leg? / It's an itch on my–- *stops singing* SCRATCH YOUR LEG YOU IDIOT! Stop singing. Scratch your leg.

  • "Honestly, I'm surprised that it took this long for Beyonce to kill someone."
  • "This slaughter is brought to you by Wonder Bread. Wonder Bread! Helps kills strong bodies 12 ways. Now begin the murder dance!"
  • "Lady Gaga does not like using words, and will avoid them wherever possible. Soon, she will communicate only in her own made-up alien space language, and we will be the stupid ones for not understanding it."
  • "The way she's come to dominate the conversations about pop music in so little time is a little disturbing. I myself have already done a detailed and thoughful analysis of her last single 'Bad Romance'"

Todd (on said review): DHHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Carry Out

  • Todd starts rubbing a cheeseburger all over his chest, pretending that it's sexy. Instead, it is probably one of the funniest moments of the series. Even the follow-up text of "I SINCERELY HOPE MY FAMILY NEVER SEES THIS" makes one giggle. Especially since he tweeted that his little sister found out and laughed at him about it during Thanksgiving.
  • Todd tries to keep up with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake by saying every food-related pickup line he can think of... and runs out of lines.
  • "Ba ba bababaa! I'M HUMPIN' IT."
  • "That's not even a single entendre! That's like a .3 entendre!"


Eenie Meenie

  • *breathes* Biiiieeeeeebeerrrrr!
  • "EENIE MEANIE MINEY MO LOVER? HOW STUPID DO THEY THINK I AM?"
  • "Justin, make us believe that Shawty is an Eenie Meenie Miny Mo Lava."
  • "I just heard Justin Bieber rap. This has not been a good day."
  • Calling Bieber a loser for dressing the way Todd himself dresses.
  • "I'd have to step back and reconsider this one, even if I were a screaming preteen Bieber fan, or a screaming... Kingston fan. I don't know how a Sean Kingston fan would look like." The funny part being him saying this over an image of Sean Kingston heads shopped onto the faces of Bieber fangirls.


Your Love Is My Drug

  • After mishearing the lyrics, he comments: "Her drugs are yellow. ...She wanted you to know."
  • "Hey- Heyyyyyyyyy - soooooooooo - *giggle that's not as cute as you think it is* Ya lub ya lub"
  • Todd spends all of the episode completely hungover, and constantly wonders exactly what it was that drove him to drink so heavily. One word: Alejandro.


Alejandro

  • The culture clash. He plays the Italian themed song "That's Amore" followed by the "Oriental Riff", and ends it with with the subtitle proclaiming "VIVE LA FRANCE!"
  • The part where he compares the video to A Nightmare on Elm Street, and says he hopes Gaga's next single will be "Monster" (which he likes), where he assumes she'll gives birth to Freddy Krueger.
    • Which becomes Hilarious in Hindsight because the next video, "Born This Way", featured Gaga giving birth to a new race of humans.
  • "I'm done being surprised by Lady Gaga. She has used up her shock potential at this point. I genuinely don't believe that there's anything she could do--" [Gaga's face starts dissolving] "AH! AH! OH GOD! OH GOD!"
  • The "M.I.A and Joanna Newsom" part.
  • "We are the Borg."


OMG

  • At the beginning, after playing the piano style of it, he stays quiet for barely a beat, then screams with a LOT of Enthusiasm "PEACE UP! A TOWN DOWN!" and cuts to "Yeah".
  • The running gag of him hitting on Obscurus Lupa with lines from the song.

Todd: Damn you's a sexy bitch!

Lupa: Good night, Todd.

Todd: So, heh, what are you wearing?
Lupa: It's a webcam, Todd, you can see what I'm wearing.

Todd: Shorty, you got a booty like pow pow pow. And boobies like wow oh wow.
Lupa: Do I need to get a restraining order?

  • He decides that Usher's wife left him for trying to rhyme "style" with "wow".
  • "What, did they record this at a pep rally?"
  • Theorizing that the song stands for "Overwhelming Marital Grief".

Todd: *sigh* No, it stands for exactly what you think it means. And no, not "OMG my life is falling apart because of my marriage", but OMG as in, "OMG there's a hot girl over there and I want to touch her with my genitals."

  • Any time he references the sampled crowd chanting.
    • "At least they're not breaking out the vuvuzelas."
  • Comparing Usher's use of 'gosh' to Napoleon Dynamite and Goofy.
  • "This is not a good use of your Usher!"


Worst Hit Songs of 1987

  • "1987. What the *beep* is going on?!
  • Discussing "Shake You Down":

Gregory Abbot: Eeny-meeny miney-mo...
Todd: Oh no, Bieber flashback, AH AH AH AH!


Hey, Soul Sister

  • Upon finding out that the song was emulating INXS.

Todd: My god! That's like if you tried to make scrambled eggs and instead caught SYPHILIS!

  • Commenting that the lyrics are so bad, they're actively trying to escape from the music video. "Run. Run, little words! Run where the bad man can't abuse you anymore!"
  • The Lightning Round part of the song.

Patrick Monahan: The way you can cut a rug.
Todd: Who the hell still says "Cut a rug", grandpa?
Monahan: Watching you is the only drug I need.
Todd: That line is so worn out it has holes in it. Try something original.
Monahan: I'm so gangsta, I'm so thug.
Todd: ... I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU!

  • Also, the little bit about how Patrick isn't going to care about "Hey, Soul Sister", so he decided to do it in the worst way possible and try to forget it ever existed.
  • When pointing out Patrick Monahan's squeaky voice:

Todd: Gentlemen, the operation was a complete success! We have taken this man's vocal cords and successfully replaced them with a squeaking rubber ducky! [beat] Why did we do that?

  • "CHEST HAIR!"
  • "Yeah, do that dance, that sexy dance you do to Mr. Mister!? Oh yeah, I love the way your body moves to this droning no-tempo butt-ugly song that never starts. Oh man, this song always takes me back to when I would just spend hours staring sullenly at the wall."
  • "The way you cut a rug..."

Todd: Who says "cut a rug" any more, grandpa?


Cooler Than Me

  • He discusses how the song seems to appear as if the part where Posner is actually supposed to be putting the girl down is missing. Todd's representation of this notion is hysterical.

Todd: You think you're cooler than me? You think you're so much cooler than me? Yeah, well, let me tell you something: you are-- [Scene Missing] --WASHING MACHINE! Yeah, you heard me! I said it!

  • "Taio Cruz is the name of a pop star. Mike Posner fixes your car."
    • On that note, the list of potential stage names he could use instead of Mike Posner, including "Mike in the Shadows."
  • "Yes! Yes, I think I'm cooler than you! I think 12 years old who write gay Sonic the Hedgehog porn fiction are cooler than you!"
  • And then there's this:

Posner: If I could write you a song to make you fall in love, I would already have you up under my arm.
Todd: But you don't. Because you can't. Because you suck.

  • "A Short List of Things Cooler Than Mike Posner".
  • Yeah? You think you're cooler than me? Yeah? Yeah? Well, I've got something for you: I-{{[[[The Un-Reveal]] SCENE MISSING}}]-washing machine! Yeah! I said it!
  • Everything to do with the line about "highbrow shoes".

Todd: Where are you trying to pick this girl up that you can hear her footsteps, a violin recital? Is she wearing tap shoes, what?
Todd: What the hell are highbrow shoes? Shoes that watch a lot of foreign movies?
Hot girl: "Look, I am way out of your league, and I'm so not interested."
Mike Posner: "Yeah? Well, you've got loud shoes!"

  • "BREATH CONTROL, DAMMIT! Sing from the diaphraaaaaaaagm..."


Hannah Montana: The Movie

  • After Jackson is handling the alligator and it cuts to another scene.

Todd: (100% Deadpan) He's dead. Works for me!

Todd: And there's a ferret!

  • "Not only does the wig magically turn Miley into Hannah without anyone noticing, it turns anyone into Hannah. It's the only thing anyone notices. Put it on anyone, and they become Hannah Montana." *Picture of Spoonette appears* "OH MY GOD LOOK, ITS HANNAH MONTANA!"
  • Noting the fast maneuvers of an airplane that's just meant to have a normal flight.

Todd: Enemies on our tail! Scramble!

  • All of Todd's references about the mall being built in the town.

Todd: "I personally love driving 40 minutes to Knoxville everytime I want to see a movie or buy a shirt."

Todd: True enough that you gotta do what you gotta do. Even if the best employment you can find is doing awfull grunt work like that. I'm sure you'd having an easier time if there was some economic engine to estimulate the local job market like, I don't know... A MALL!!!!

Todd: And speaking of the mall, now we have the fundraiser, where they try to raise money for their fight to save their beloved community center. Oh no, wait, excuse me. THEIR EMPTY FREAKIN' FIELD!! from becoming an useful contribuiting part of the town.

Todd: In any case I'm also wondering. Are they expecting Hannah Montana fans? Whom probably love malls, probably watched this movie in a mall to sit there and shout "YEAH! Down with malls!".

  • And speaking of the fundraiser;

Todd: Oh hey, it's that other teen pop star. The one who writes her own music and plays an instrument. Yeah, might want to hustle her offscreen before you get upstaged, Miley.


Hannah Montana Pop Tour Guitar Video Game

  • Said toy was a present his friends got him for Christmas "because they think they're funny". He even includes actual video footage of him receiving it, with his face obscured, of course.

Todd: As soon as you turn this camera off, I'm beating the shit out of you.

  • Discussing the unwieldy name of the Hannah Montana Pop Tour Guitar Video Game.

Todd: ... one of my favourite titles ever for a video game, right up there with Space Marine First Person Shooter Video Game, Nonsense Fantasy Role-Playing Game and of course, Piece of Shit.

  • His complete inability to wear the guitar strap. And reaction when he discovers that there is no strum bar.


Club Can't Handle Me

  • The opening riff of the song starts playing. Todd's response:

Todd: I've been roamin' around, always lookin' down at all I see-- oh wait, am I doing this wrong?

  • He also points out that if the club can't handle Flo Rida, then Todd's perfectly willing to help... he then pulls out a replica of an Ancient Greek war club and informs us that his club certainly can handle Flo Rida.

Todd: Why are people staring? Are you covered in blood?

    • He also says that if he wants people to stare, he just walks into the supermarket, carrying his club.
  • Todd's "Deep Lyrical Analysis" that he drags out when trying to make sense of the lyrics. It ends with Todd pointing out that the reference to the movie Scarface indicates that Flo Rida obviously shares the character's extreme paranoia and repressed homosexuality.
  • Todd says late in the review that the song becomes more interesting if you look at it as the story of how he ended up in jail.

Flo Rida: Life of the club, arrogant like yeah.
Todd: 28, we've got a report of a rowdy patron at the club on Fourth Avenue being arrogant like yeah. We need someone to get over there.
Flo Rida: Feeling myself, I'm out of control.
Todd: He is feeling himself in public and is out of control. We need someone down here now. Also, we've got another report that this is the guy who recorded "Right Round", so, um... lethal force is authorised.

  • Nostalgia Critic has to force him to do the review by playing the Hoedown Throwdown.

Critic: Now smile for the camera! ...er, perpendicular to the camera... whatever.


Like a G6

  • A blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag when Todd goes to research something on his computer... and his desktop is crammed with pictures of Lupa.
  • After researching said something and discovering a G6 does not exist, he takes it well by almost smashing his piano with his chair.
  • *opens a beer bottle at home* "STRAIGHT UP THUGGIN"
  • He starts the video with a rather straight, borderline soapbox rant on the lack of representation for Asians in mainstream music, and uses it to severely burn Far*East Movement.

Todd: [The Far*East Movement] is not just breaking the color barrier, but smashing stereotypes as well. For years, Asians have been unfairly marginalized as intelligent, respectable, good at music. The Far*East Movement will NOT be pigeon-holed by your thoughtless preconceptions!

  • The part where he compares a segment of the song to the Mooninites.
  • He also decides that the song is a Satanic brainwashing scheme. And apparently plays for eternity in the Fourth Circle of Hell.
    • "Swear upon the good book!" *holds up Johnny Cash's autobiography*


Deuces

  • Todd giving Brown's backstory, saying he hopes he's really recovered... then the song starts...

"Go fuck yourself, Chris Brown! Go. Fuck. Yourself. Go fuck yourself, you stupid, useless waste of a human being!"

  • "And I like beating on Chris Brown just as much as Chris Brown likes beating eggs, for his famous homestyle breakfasts."
  • "I've heard jet engines make catchier music than this."
  • "Oh, and speaking as a professional silhouette, this is also a terrible freaking video. I mean, what in holy living hell does he think he's doing?! (the video shows a silhouette of Chris Brown, flailing and contorting his arms)
  • His reaction to a particularly disturbing lyric.

Kevin McCall: I'm a dick, so it shouldn't be that hard to swallow.
Todd: (In the showers) CAN'T! GET! CLEAN!

    • And afterwards, imitating a dating show:

And he's back on the market, ladies. That's right. One lucky girl will be the next to scoop up this fine specimen of man. Bachelorette #1, if a guy spent the entire first date complaining how his ex was a completely, totally crazy bitch, would you be turned on or extremely turned on?

  • Near the middle of the review, Todd gets very pissed off when he hears the lyrics, which are in essence "Girl, you've been a real bitch to me, so I'm dumping you and I hope you regret being mean to me after I find a new girlfriend". He then starts sarcastically talking about how upset he is that Chris Brown is having relationship problems and creates violin music on his piano to accompany it. Said violin music sounds suspiciously like "OMG" (though Todd said in the TGWTG forums this wasn't his intention).
  • His reaction to "Like Tina did to Ike in the limo, it finally hit me". First Stunned Silence. Then a mock conversation where Chris Brown asks Kevin McCall to remove the lyric because people already compare him enough to Ike Turner.
  • Todd compares the song to Cruella de Vil singing a song about animals not liking her.


Whip My Hair

  • Todd field-testing hair-whipping with the Hannah Montana wig. Even better, the reactions from test subjects to his head shaking.

Nash: Todd... What the fuck is wrong with you?!

  • The screenshot with the Google auto-complete suggestions for "whip my hair is", which include "banned", "annoying", "terrible" and "awful".
  • Todd's attempt to analyze the lyrics.

Todd: [...] the first thing I need to tell you is that Willow Smith whips her hair back and forth.
Willow Smith: I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!
Todd: I see. Would you please elaborate?
Willow Smith: I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

Todd: You know, I'm just not getting it. Could you go over it again?

Willow Smith: I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH! I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!

Todd: This Just In, some breaking news. Willow Smith whips her hair in a motion, which experts are describing as "back and forth".

Willow Smith: But can't none of them whip it like I do.
Todd: WILLOW SMITH'S HAIR-WHIPPING IS SUPERIOR TO YOUR HAIR WHIPPING!

Willow Smith: When they see me pull up I whip it real hard.
Todd: Pull up in what, your tricycle?
Willow Smith: All my ladies if you feel me come and do it. Whip your hair.
Todd: You're ten! You don't have any ladies, except your mom.

  • "NOD YA HEAD! NOD YA HAIR!"
  • To prove how annoying "I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!" is, he shows that even with "Imma Be", "The Song That Never Ends", "Bloopity-bloopity-bloopity" and "the most annoying sound on Earth" played over it simultaneously, it's still no worse than it already was.
  • You cannot whip your hair if your hair is not long enough to whip, you STUPID LITTLE GIRL! A better term would probably be headbanging. (cut to shots of people whipping their hair from the video with "Bang Your Head" by Quiet Riot playing over it)


Top 6 Worst Songs of 2010 (I Didn't Already Review)

  • Regarding his pick for the fifth worst song, In My Head:

Todd: Now, here's a weird little thing. I actually like this song the first time I heard it. R&B song driven by actual guitar--awesome. Nice, catchy melody--great. Song by J.R. Rotem, not built around a horribly used sample--wonderful. I was totally on board with this song. Three months later, I could not stand it. Not even a little. What was it that I could not longer take? Who do I blame for the fact that this song soured on me so quickly?
Jason Derulo: Jason Derulo!

  • "Man, Nelly's new break-up song is a real Tear Jerker. My heart just breaks every time he goes UHN UHN UHN HEY!"


Top 10 Best Songs of 2010

  • Todd breaking down, crying and calling Lupa and telling her how he really feels. It'd be sweet and nice... if he didn't accidentally call Lordkat instead.
  • The "I like your beard" reference at the end of his segment on "DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love". Brilliant touch.
  • His twenty second repetition of "I'm sorry" for putting "California Gurls" on the list at #2.
  • On Drake: "But when he does it right... OH GOD HE'S SO DREAMY!"
  • "Oh, Trey Songz... how are you even a real person?"
  • *pause* "Lupa! Lupa! Lupa! Lupa! Lupa! Lupa! Lupa! Lupa!"
  • "I'm a pig."
  • His reaction to Pitbull being on "DJ Got Us Falling In Love".

Todd: (After analyzing the lyrics in a British voice) Oh, and THAT IDIOT, PITBULL IS ON THI--!

Pitbull: My life is a movie and you just TiVo! HEH!

Todd: HEH! I don't get it.

Pitbull: She don't wrestle but I got her in a headlock.

Todd: WHAT?!?!?!

Pitbull: Yabba dabba doo, make her bed rock!

Todd: Oh my God, you suck so hard, Pitbull.

  • "When I say the same thing every single time, I say YOUDA, YOUDA BEST, YOUDA YOUDA BEST."


The Time (Dirty Bit)

  • A game of "Finish the rhyme!" leads from him trying to figure out the rhyme to "Ain't messing with the maggots, we're messing with __________."

Todd: Fa...*stops and realizes what he almost said*

    • The line ends with baddest. Todd reacts accordingly.
  • Todd singing Benny Benassi's Satisfaction over the beat.
    • Likewise, referencing De La Soul's Me, Myself and I and Kris Kross's Jump later.
  • Noticing the director may have slipped in a Take That to the song itself:

Todd: Someone must have realized this sounded like digital vomit.

  • Woman in the music video vomits out a stream of pixels*

Todd: Oh, I guess the video director did. Nice subtle commentary there, Mr. Director, well played.

  • In the style of a Spin-n-Say:

Todd: The Frog says...
will.i.am: Dirty bit! (which does, indeed, sound like a frog ribbeting)

  • The gun of "Imma Be" returns.

will.i.Am: I don't wanna take no pictures, I just wanna take some shots!
Todd: [cocks gun] That can be arranged.

  • Todd notices that Taboo doesn't have any lines in the song.

Todd: Did they just fire him and not have the guts to tell him about it?


Tonight...

  • "This is not a song. This is an ad for Mace." Complete with Todd's actual ad - the video, with Todd's voice over saying "Ladies, they're out there, and throwing your drink in their face is just a waste of alcohol. Say it right, with Mace.", a trademark for Mace written in the corner, and "Check out our new Supersoaker model!" written in the other corner.
  • "Ludacris, you do realize that you can see her pants from any angle, right?" "Those are some well fitting pants. I love the way those look. You have to tell me where you got them!"
  • "Yes sir, when Enrique starts yodeling through his nose, the panties drop!"
  • Tonight... you.
  • "If you put a song on your My Space page, Ludacris will be on it by the time it's uploaded".
  • The Ludacris setting on Todd's keyboard.
  • "It just sounds... rapey."
  • He points out the way "Tonight" sucks as a "love" song by comparing it to other songs of the same type. First, he points out that he's not a fan of "The Whisper Song" by the Ying Yang Twins or "Your Body Is A Wonderland" by John Mayer, but at least they offer the girl something rather than just downright telling her that sex is going to ensue. And then he starts comparing it to other songs.
    • "Say what you want about "Sexy Bitch"... I mean it's at least a compliment!"
    • "And say what you like about("I Wanna Fuck You") too. At least it's a request!"
    • "And "Bedrock"... "Bedrock" sounds like a Shakespeare love sonnet compared to this!"
  • "Enrique's always been the smooth Latin Lover type. "I must teach you the ways of, how you say, the romance." You know this." [Cue photo of tangoing couple] "Not this." [cue naked picture of Quagmire]
  • After unsuccessfully attempting to figure out the meaning of a couple of lines.

Todd: I should not have a problem figuring out the lyrics of a song called "Tonight I'm Fucking You!"

  • To all the girls I've [BLEEP] before...


Black and Yellow

  • The entirety of Rollo T's cameo explaining why, apparently, Pittsburgh is his Berserk Button.
  • "My girl's hot. She doesn't have herpes! What?!"
  • "Got that, everyone? His car is flashy, expensive and easy to steal!"
  • "You know who else wasn't scared of it? The Packers!"
  • Writhing in pain while watching Transformers.

Mrs Witwicky: Were you... masturbating?
Todd: KILL ME! KILL ME!

  • His sarcastic clapping when Wiz has to find a rhyme for "unapproachable"... and just abandons the rhyme scheme.

Todd: Bravo, sir! Bravo! Didn't. Even. Try.


Grenade

  • Saying that Bruno Mars can convey the passion of a man being repeatedly kicked in the balls, followed by clips of various "Oooh!"s and "Aaah!"s.
  • The Long List of negative characteristics of the woman being sung about, including abusive, demonic, insane, evil, deceitful and bad at auto repair.
  • "You know, I wasn't really sure how I felt about him, but then he told me he'd get hit by a train, and the thought of his bloody, battered corpse smeared all over the tracks... Oh God my heart just melted!"
  • "I would catch a gre-NAAHD for you, jump in front of a TRAAIHN for you... Yeah, it's a little out of my range."
    • At least one comment said he ended up sounding like Kurt Cobain.
  • The cameo by Pushing Up Roses:

Todd: We've all felt unappreciated at some point, right? I know I have.
(Cut to Todd in front of his computer)
Todd: Well?
Roses: Well, what?
Todd: Aren't you going to thank me for promoting your last video?
Roses: You posted a link on your blog that said "haha worst video ever".
Onscreen text: worse than "Friday." seriously. lol
Todd: *indignantly* You're welcome!

  • Todd displaying how impractical throwing your hand on a blade for someone is.

Todd:(holding his hand over an awkwardly held blade) I'm totally gonna do it.....You love me now, right?

  • Showing the Mood Whiplash between Bruno Mars's devotion to his girlfriend and calling her evil...culminating in contrasting clips from "Loving You" and Sam Kinison's stand up.
  • Mistaking Bruno Mars for the movie Bruno with his pictures at the beginning.
  • "I've had enough Jason Mraz for one lifetime, thank you."
  • "I'd pull a piano for you. Now there's a song... You ever try and move one of these things? They're heavy. Who wouldn't be touched by a gesture like that? ...Well, I think it'd be romantic."
  • After hearing "I would die for you, baby, but you won't do the same", he wonders if Bruno is looking for a girl or a body double, and struggles with the idea that someone else could look like him.


Top 10 Worst Hit Songs Of 1976

  • "Breaker, breaker! This here's Shadow Todd, it seems like we've got some trouble on the Top 40, looks like we've got ourselves a CONVOY!"
  • Todd falling asleep to Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now".
  • Todd noting how bored the people watching The Silver Convention's performance of "Get Up and Boogie" appeared to be:

Todd: I don't know what show this is, but it's like the anti-TRL. These people are soooo bored! They're more bored than I am somehow!

    • And his demonstration of how the song does not inspire one to dance.

Silver Convention: Get up and boogie.
Todd: (Beat) No.
Silver Convention: Get up and boogie.
Todd: No! Is that all you got? I never felt less like boogieing.


Firework / Born This Way

  • This exchange:

Katy Perry: Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?
Todd: Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Katy Perry sure does. Because she's made of plastic. And she's a bag. Boom!

Katy: Boom, boom, boom!

  • "Baby you're a firewood, you make my smores taste really good..."
  • He tries to demonstrate the fragile nature of a woman's self-image by calling JesuOtaku fat. She just stares at him as he explains how hard she's taking it.
  • The discussion of Katy Perry supporting gay rights ("I Kissed a Girl"... followed by "U R So Gay").
  • "I am all of those things. You have no idea how nice it is to see someone supporting the Black, White, Chinese, Lebanese, Chola and Oriental community." And the mini-rant after that.
  • "Lady Gaga's single 'Boring This Way.'" [Beat, checks notes.] "Born This Way."
  • Referring to the special effects as "Katy Perry's magical chest sparkles" as well as comparing her to a robot.

Todd: As KatyPerryBot5000 malfunctions, we're supposed to learn that we can be a firework, whether you're fat, gay, ...being mugged, and... dying of cancer?!

S&M

  • Rob Walker's cameo:

Rob Walker: We don't want a discussion on these subjects from someone who reviews Justin Bieber songs. We assign that for people with more intellectual capacity.
'90s Kid: Dude, what the heck is a Ree-hanna?

  • Todd sniffing after hearing the line "Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it!".
  • Todd's reference to his experimental days in college.
  • The trombone!
  • The conclusion that liking this song is basically sadomasochistic itself.

"And that's another reason I don't show my face"

  • The quick shot of Rosie O'Donnell in S&M gear from East of Eden, shown when Todd is saying that the video is "shouting SEX! over and over again like a deranged Tourette's sufferer".


Top 5 Most Awful Moments in Rattle and Hum


The Lazy Song

Todd: I don't see the appeal.

  • Any time he calls out on Bruno Mars wanting to stick his hand down his pants.
  • Todd failing to play guitar.d
  • "What I'm looking at right here are my college loan statements, and I owe seventy-three... bajillion dollars for an education that only ever got me a job talking about Katy Perry songs on the Internet. And meanwhile, every day this summer, I get to watch Bruno Mars make billions off a terrible song in which he calls getting a degree "messing around". Seriously, dude? Go die."
  • His refusal to refer to "white guy with an acoustic guitar" music as lifeless, since he'd actually like to hear music by the lifeless. Cue "RE: Your Brains".

Todd: Awesome. ["Metal" horns.]

  • Ranting at Bruno about laziness being a poor subject for a song, and issued a challenge:

Todd: Name me one good song -- just one good song -- about doing nothing, sitting around, wasting time.

Todd: Oh shit, that's a good answer.

  • "How long have you been recording this?" "Six hours."


E.T.

  • Talking about "Fireworks" being a decent song after all.

"By the way, hope you have a good 4th of July. Be prepared to hear that song every Independence Day for the rest of your life" [You know it's true]

The Nostalgia Chick: Why would anyone listen to Katy Perry? She sounds like a garbage truck in labor!
Nash: This is what the music guy on the site listens to. The music guy.
Obscurus Lupa:: Stop stealing pieces of my hair!

Todd: [quickly] Yep, Katy Perry sure does suck!

"No one is turned on by that. Unless there's some kind of weirdo who's aroused by that bug-eyed turtle alien. Fortunately I think I can say with all certainty that there's no one turned on by E.T. Because if there was there had to be some kind of a porno version of E.T. And I'm sure if there was I'd heard of it by now. If I didn't mention it, my comments section would be floaded with people telling me about the E.T. Porno. God. That would be awful. Good thing none exists, right?"

Todd: MY MY BUDDY HOLLY DIED and then the sixties happened and it was really intense and rock and roll was involved in a lot of it.

  • This:

Kanye West: "Imma disrobe, then Imma probe you
Todd: Police, I'd like to report an assault in progress!

  • When talking about his reputation of being Literal-Minded, he implies that he thought Kelis's "Milkshake" was about making really good milkshakes.
    • He then tries to decipher the metaphor in E.T, concluding that it's about an interracial relationship between Katy Perry and, say, a black guy. Who will abduct her, and make her his victim...and maybe it's better to stay literal. After all, the song isn't likely to involve an unstable black guy, right? Cue Kanye.
  • "It turns out, her magical alien dream lover is, in fact, a naked albino black guy. You know what? I'm not even touchin' that one. Good night!"


Glitter

  • The movie fastforwards itself as a transition and Todd initially thinks he sat on the remote.

Todd: "That just looks ridiculous. Actually hold on. I need a soda" (fastforwards himself)

  • The Running Gag of "NOPE" everytime Todd tries to speculate if something will become a plot point. Specially his meltdown after the third.

Todd: "Oh for the love of Christ!! What the hell is the point of this movie?? What's the plot? What's the theme? Why does a scene follows the other? WHY AM I WATCHING THIS??"

  • "He brings out his giant xylophone every time he can't kazoo a woman to bed?"
  • "AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII..."
  • The final scene reveals Mariah's mom was sober for the last years and they reunite.

Todd: "You have been clean and sober for years? Why didn't you come, bitch??"

  • "You can replace her with a mannequin and a Mariah Carey CD!". Cue Todd putting his hoodie on the Mario statue from the Break Up review...
  • Todd sarcastically talking about the break up of Mariah and her boyfriend, and pausing briefly to express disbelief at the fact that her childhood cat is still alive.

"She kept the cat?!"


Party Rock Anthem


Give Me Everything

"Think I'm wearing her down."

"We put the 'hip' in 'Rohypnol'!"

  • Showing why Ne-Yo is not good for a party song, complete with cheering after hearing "So Sick".
  • Todd facepalming with his elbow on the keyboard.
  • You searched for: "Ryan Seacrest Fansite". Did you mean: "Literally Anything Else"?
    • "You sure you don't want to go with someone with a little more street cred? You know, like Lawrence Welk? Or Hitler?"
  • The three Mondegreens for the song's chorus:

I'm a la la you tonight.
I'm a gnaw log you tonight.
Aminal of you tonight.

  • "Yeah, gonna have some awkward had-too-much-to-drink sex... tonight!"
  • This bit:

Todd: Pitbull doesn't really believe they might not have tomorrow, he's going to the same goddamn party every night.
Ron Burgundy: And in no way is that depressing.


Tonight, Tonight

  • How Hot Chelle Rae would react to the news.
  • Playing "We Are Family" to describe the nepotism involved with the episode's band and LMFAO.
  • All party songs repeat "Everybody," "Fun," and "Tonight." Or, worst case scenario "Everbody Have Fun Tonight."

"That song's actually okay."

  • This song is "for people threatened by the raw, dangerous sexuality of the Jonas Brothers".
  • The extended sequence in which he compares Hot Chelle Rae's brand of partying to a high-school graduation party.


If I Die Young

  • The beginning of the video, playing If I Die Young, a morbid song about death, at a quick tempo that makes it sound like a happy ditty.
  • His reaction to finding out that Kimberly Perry is actually 28, older than he is but is writing something that sounds like it should come from a 16 year old.

"'If you die young?' Hell, lady, you're running outta time!"

  • His "flashback" to his emo days.

"You understand my pain, Blink-182."

    • "Yeah, I sure was a whiny little brat 10 months ago, back when that was filmed."
  • His struggle to understand the logistics of Kimberly's funeral arrangement, including asking if she needs to be set adrift after she's been buried, and when she asks for a love song to be played, cuing up Boyz II Men and wondering if that's appropriate for the occasion.
  • In a Valley Girl accent:

What's the point? No one cares when you're old. If I die old, bury me in garbage. Like, lay me down on a bed of roaches, it doesn't even matter.


Top 10 Songs About Mediocre Romance

  • The video's cold open, complete with puppies, catfights, and Todd's "mediocre relationship" version of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful."

Todd: You're passable. It's true. I saw your face. It's okay. So I guess you'll have to do til I find somebody new.
The Nostalgia Chick (awestruck): You're so talented!

Todd: Heh, yeah, that was pretty awesome.

Chick: Yes, you get slapped if you lookin' ho!

Lupa: *Face Palm*

Chick: I have a puppy!

  • The song used in the countdown. "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Good Enough For Now."
    • The truly brilliant part for me was the particular clip used meant that after each section, which all seemed to end with a fairly firm declaration on Todd's part, the next thing we hear is the cheery singing, "Well, not really."
  • Todd's reaction to Billy Joel's 'She's Always A Woman' being nothing but one long Damned By Faint Praise moment:

Todd: Hell, if she weren't always a woman, that'd be more impressive!

  • Todd trying to keep up with R.E.M.'s lead singer Michael Stipe:

[to the tune of 'The End Of The World As We Know It'] *gibberish* Uhh uhm... Bernstein! ...Leonard Bernstein!

  • Todd's suppositions about the person described in Pearl Jam's 'Better Man'

Todd: It's not clear what this man is doing out at 4 o'clock in the morning... Drinking? Cheating? Being a member of Creed?


Moves Like Jagger

"I suppose you could count Eminem, if you really stretch the definition of 'Pop Singer'. There's Justin Bieber, although he gets so little airplay these days. He's basically just a really well known niche performer. And Mike Posner...

  • Cut to Bow Chikka Wow Wow*

"Yeah, I think we're pretty much done with him.


Lighters

  • The Rap Critic appearances.
  • The extended bashing on Bruno Mars and the anemic beat.
  • Cutting from Bruno Mars to Motley Crue.
  • DICK REFERENCE COUNT

"And in conclusion: penis penis penis."

  • "I want to set this CD on fire! ...except this is not a lighter, but a cellphone... and this is not Bad Meets Evil's CD, I don't buy physical music anymore..."


Sexy and I Know It

  • The Stinger at the end is Benzaie's theme song for if he was gay.

"Why did that end like a Thriller- Never mind!"

  • Oancitizen's cameo and Todd's attempt at Deep Lyrical Analysis...and then Todd deciding "Screw it! This song sucks because it sucks!"
  • The intro with Todd refusing to play the song and arguing with the caption.
  • His reaction to the first Speedo-showing scene.
  • "If you're sexy and you know it, flop your dick."
  • The title card. Just...the title card.
  • "Oh God, all the Simpsons references in the world aren't going to get me through this."


5 O'Clock

  • Todd posted the episode to his blip account before it was finished, and as a result, a few lucky fans saw Todd not in the Shadows! Needless to say, Todd took down the video as soon as he realized what had gone wrong, citing some "serious problems."
  • "I'm sure you're a nice guy, T-Pain, but there are other rich, talented robots out there."
  • Todd doing how T-Pain would sample "Don't Speak", "Killing Me Softly" and "The Hippopotamus Song".

Gayla Peevey: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas...
T-Pain!Todd: By "hippopotamus" she means she wants my dick.

  • "I'm no stranger to partying until the sun comes up-" *cut to Todd playing Okami*
  • T-Pain's girlfriend is waiting for him to get back home.

Todd: I'm sure he has good reasons for delaying.
T-Pain: These females got me stallin'...
Todd: Ah--uh--I'm trying to work with you here, dude.


Mistletoe

  • The return of [picks up glass, takes a sip of water] BIEEEBEEER!
  • "Justin Bieber, Justin freaking Bieber, world's whitest of white boys, doing an acoustic guitar song! OH, thank you Bieber! Two of my least favorite things in music combined! Looks like I got my Christmas present early!"
  • Todd comments on how Bieber's voice is finally changing. Cue the Hallelujah Chorus starting in the backrground.


Top 10 Worst Songs of 2011

  • "Yeah, I will put it down on you, Mr. Chipmunk."
  • "Busta's verse on this song is like hearing a Nickelback song suddenly launch into a shredding Van Halen guitar solo."
  • "Nimoy, live long and prosper, man. Bruno, go bankrupt and die."
  • Several songs receiving the "DIRTY BIT!" treatment.
  • "IT WAS ME! I HID HIS BODY UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS! MAKE IT STOP!"[1]
  • Todd says that he can never hear an Enrique Iglesias song ever again without thinking of "Tonight..."
    • "Escape", however, sounds exactly the same to him.


Top 10 Best Songs of 2011


Runaway

  • The Rap Critic and Todd decide to do a crossover. Completely deadpan, they read the script with a cliche intro for crossovers.

Rap Critic: (reading the script) Hey. There's this movie I want you to review with me.
Todd: I do not want to review this thing you want to review.
Rap Critic: But then I say something that makes you want to review it.
Todd: I reluctantly give in and accept.

  • Todd and Rap Critic pointing out Kanye driving to the firebolt and compairing it with a really over the top PSA.

"Don't Text while driving. This message has been brought to you by the Wisconsin Traffic Safety Ad Council."

  • Todd: "Why does Kanye has a sheep in his backyar-? Scratch that, I don't wanna know."
  • Also this:

Todd: Well, this is Kanye's big blockbuster project, he probably didn't want to get in to anything too controversial.
(Cut to a red hooded KKK trope in the parade. Rap Critic and Todd stare with blank faces)
Todd: Are those red hooded KKK members in a Michael Jackson's funeral parade? WHYYY???

  • When Kanye is doing the long musical with the ballet dancers, Todd and Rap Critic decide to kill time at Magfest while the video is still running, all while Last Friday Night plays in the background. Playing games like Dance Central, a Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine and DJ Hero.
    • When they come back and see the scene isn't over yet, they return to play more games.
  • Rap Critic: (with a forced happy glee) "I know some of you have questions about this. Please direct them to the slow motion explosion."
  • Also this quote (about the statues being phoenixes):

Rap Critic: Uhm, no. I think they were carved by an artis-
Todd: No. Screw it. In this universe the statues are phoenixes that had their wings cut off. This, this, this was once a Phoenix. Deal with it.


Just A Kiss

  • Having Jesus come in and crash the review, demanding Todd to stop the promotion of fornication.
    • But he commends Todd on practising chastity in his own life, remaining pure for the last seven years. Todd is less happy about it.
  • "This pillow is my girlfriend."
  • "Yeah, sure, it'll 'bring us closer.' That's not a real reason. That's a euphemism for 'I'd like to be more sure that you're not a Serial Killer, don't have a horrible disease or sleep on Darth Vader sheets. I mean, don't bullshit me, okay?"
  • "Yeah, you'll be in my dream." [[[Beat]]] "But not in my pants. WHY AM I LISTENING TO THIS?!"
  • "Let's not have seeeeex~"
  • This exchange, when he wonders why the subjects of the song don't want to rush it:

Todd: What's your damage? Did you get burned by some guy in the past? I mean, if this was a hip hop song, I'd just automatically assume that was the case. Those guys are assholes. But country guys, they're nice!
(cut to video for "Goodbye Earl" by the Dixie Chicks)
Todd: ...well, mostly, they're nice.

  • Todd noticing the song sounds like Chicago... and nearly having a breakout for it!


Ni**as in Paris

  • "...What the hell do I pay you people for?"
  • "Jay-Z was alleged to have been sabotaging Chris Brown's career. If that's true..." *Brown with a Grammy* "...wish you were still doing it!"
  • Comparing Kanye to a donkey, and reacting to him inviting a girl to have sex in a bathroom.
  • Todd imitating Kanye in his quote "I am where art meets commercial..."
  • Todd's "Kanye as a Brit".
  • The opening. That is all.
  • "Don't let Kanye into his zone! You wouldn't like him when he's in his zone!"
  • "Yes, little known fact: Kanye's main influence has always been Humpty Hump."
  • "Epileptics of the world, what did you do to Kanye that he hates you so much?"


Turn Up the Music

Believe me, you'll never listen to "Rainbow Connection" the same way again.

  • Todd comparing Chris Brown to a wrestling villain and the witty retorts to Chris Brown's tweets.
    • Speaking of which, there's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag when Todd reads one of Brown's more immature tweets- just before it disappears, he corrects all the grammatical errors and writes "D-".
  • Todd saying that starting a Tumblr was something he'd never thought that he would do.


Drive By

Todd: Take a hint, pal. She doesn't want to be with you or near you or even in the same town as you. You should look at the clues and leave this girl alone. Isn't that right, wallet picture of Lupa? Yes, I love you too. [Kisses the picture]


One Hit Wonderland: Take On Me

  • "The Sun Always Shines On TV... unless this video is playing. Thanks alot, Steve Barron!"


Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

Todd: Mwahahahaha! I broke up with her! And now she's all heartbroken and shit! Mwahaha...What? She's totally okay because she's strong and independent? NOOOO! I'll get you next time, Kelly Clarkson!

  • The ending with The Nostalgia Chick trying to seem strong.

Todd: "Pizza makes me stronger."

  • Todd remarking on the uninspired lyrics and rhymes of "Mr. Know-It-All":

Todd: Stunning. Here, let me write that next verse for you: "Mr. Pick-Your-Nose, well ya...like to pick your nose, yeah ya...always pick your nose with your...fingers up your nose."

  • If you pay attention, we have this:

Todd:"You just made this guy up, didn’t you? Let me guess, he lives in Canada. Not much around, I’m guessing".

  • The title of the song "goes well with what I'm imaging are other songs on the album, like "In Yourself (Believe)" or "Give Up (Don't)"".


One Hit Wonderland: Baby Got Back

  • Any time he mentions that he knows the song (and video by heart.)
    • Furthermore, when he mouths along to the words.
  • When he brings back his Sophisticated As Hell Running Gag and analyzes the song... and then claims in Sincerity Mode that he's not making any of it up.
    • "So to speak."
  • "Whenever I hear someone say 'Oh my god', I immediately add 'Becky, look at her butt'. I'm told it's really annoying."


From Justin to Kelly (with the Nostalgia Chick)

  • Todd calling Nash, Linkara, and Sad Panda. (He can't call Lupa because she stopped answering his calls or Spoony because he camped out on Spoony's front lawn.) Then The Nostalgia Chick calls. Cue fangirl hug and Todd looking miserable.
    • The way Todd slumps when his phone rings, already seeing the trouble ahead.
    • That the Chick has appears to have found out he's looking for a crossover in the short time he's been calling around. Does she have his phone bugged or something?
    • The Chick's carrot-and-stick arguments for doing the review.

We could do another crossover, since the last one we did went so well and I didn't even need to tie you up...

  • Todd and Chick trying to remember what From Justin to Kelly was about.
    • Concluding with Chick describing it as, "the cinematic equivalent of watching someone slooowly scrape the burnt part off the toast. And failing."
  • The baffling fact of its existence at all, as the concept is hardly a solid one and the two leads were not big celebrities or actors:

Chick: My original theory is that it was conceived by aliens, trying to mimic the film-making ways of the hu-maan.

  • Chick saying that the spring break setting of the movie is like "MTV's Summer Beach House filtered through the lens of a middle school principal."

Todd: Your average Disney Channel sitcom is raunchier than this. Not that I watch those.

  • Two Words: "NOW KISS!" Made even more hillarious when you notice that Lindsay is trying (and failing) to suppress her laughter in the background.
  • Todd summarizing the main characters and their best friends as a Saved by the Bell's Six-Student Clique. Except for the obligatory Alpha Bitch, whom he summarizes as "Evil Whore".

Todd: Not sure how that last one got in there.

  • "Strong, Independent Woman." Cue Tradesnark™.
  • Todd's confusion over the line "My friends call me Kelly for short".

Kellisa? Kellandria? Kellificant?

Script: Gotye is some guy.
Todd: Head Desk God damn it.


We Are Young and Somebody That I Used to Know

  • Todd not having any ideas on how to review the current indie songs on the Top 100, because he knows nothing about Gotye and other hits aren't stupid enough to mock.
  • Todd having a problem pronouncing the word "Gotye." It eventually culminates in a Precision F-Strike of epic proportions when Todd calls him "Goatse."
  • Complaining about Janelle Monáe's short performance earning a "Featuring" credit by claiming the review it's a Crossover with Jew Wario, who appears for 3 seconds.


One Hit Wonderland: Kung Fu Fighting

  • The cameo from Kung Tai Ted, the character's first appearance in months aside from a few uses of the voice during the Ninja Terminator review.
  • "Did he deserve better?"

*chuckles* No.

  • Todd calmly plays the intro to the song and when the real song starts to play, excitedly strikes a kung fu pose.
  • His arguments for music years worse than 1974: Air Supply in 1980, Vanilla Ice in 1990, and Nickelback in 2001.


Misc

For joint reviews, see The Rap Critic ("It Wasn't Me"), Bad Movie Beatdown (Sunday School Musical), That Guy With the Glasses (The Last Airbender)

Stickman: *eating sandwich*
Todd: Hey! You been looking at my girl, you little blue bobble-headed ball of crap?!

Stickman: 0_0

Todd: If I catch you going anywhere near her, I will personally set fire to your eye sockets with Nothing! But my! Pure! HATRED! You hear me?!

Stickman: *Screw This, I'm Outta Here*

Todd: Yeah, yeah, that's right, you better run! [[[Beat]]] What a nice guy. Good talk.

Caption: And lo, there was much humping.
Todd: Should I do this? Ugh, she's gonna make do this.

    • The first time, Todd appears to be dancing to a different track than everyone else.

Caption: I am Mr. Coordination.

    • When the Channel Awesome team is told by the game to "freestyle," everyone gets into it, except Todd, who stands stock still with the most forlorn and bemused look on his face.
    • Pretty much all of the captions throughout the video were gold.

Caption when Channel Awesome members are all dancing: This would be great blackmail material if I were not in it.
Caption at the very end with the credits: And to think Nash didn't want to join us on stage.

    • Special mention to when Todd first plays it, and he finishes it looking utterly distressed and horrified.

BEP Demo Lady: You guys want to dance again? You're more than welcome to.
Caption: NO.

  1. ↑ It's a reference to "The Tell-Tale Heart, in which a man goes insane and admits to murder after what he believes to be the corpse's heart makes him increasingly restless.
  2. ↑ For reference, the biggest selling song of the year
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