Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell/Funny

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• Sam's interrogation techniques are often funnier than they have any right to be. Same thing with his victims.
• At the end of Pandora Tomorrow, Sam needs to disarm a smallpox bomb. He does this by leaving it out in the open in a crowded airport with its countdown clearly visible, leading to an evacuation and its disposal via remote-controlled robot.
• In Chaos Theory, there's a bonus objective where you have to hack some cameras so that Grim can keep an eye on the bad guys after you leave.

Grim: Thanks Sam, I'd really like to see what dirty laundry. Sam: Augh. Grim: What? Sam: Laundry. I completely forgot.

• Michael Ironside did a interview on Double Agent and had a couple of funny lines.

I was on a plane going to London, and I asked for a coffee. And I heard someone go Sam Fisher, and I'm going, what? And I look up and there's this guy in an undone three piece suit going, You're Sam Fisher, and I went, No, I'm...I'm, wait a second I guess I am. Sam Fisher could have been very two dimensional. He could have been very flat, cardboard, finish him...squiiick.

• How about this conversation from Sam's Navy SEAL days?

Vic: My kids never draw me pictures or write or anything. SEAL: They don't write 'cause you can't read, man. Vic: Laugh it up. But when I get out of here- Sam: You're going to kindergarten? SEAL: You know I hear that they've got entrance exams in kindergarten now, Sam... I dunno if Vic's gonna make it in.

• Sam needs someone (the vice president of the United States) to stay where they are without killing them in Conviction. ("SECURE") How does he do it? He nonchalantly blasts both of his kneecaps with his pistol, of course.

Sam: You might want to work on that "bulletproof" thing.

• In Conviction, taking a hostage near a wall will give Sam the option of smashing their head into it. Smash an enemy's head into a light switch and it will turn the light off. Bonus funny points if Sam's randomly chosen comment is "Lights out".
  • Another of his Bond One-Liners after a wall smash: "Yeah, you'll definitely have to pay for sex now."

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