Touhou/Haiku

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Many cute females
Dodge loads and loads of bullets
And inspire memes

—GG Crono

Eastern Wonderland
Where all of the girls wear hats
(With some exceptions)

Shrine maiden and witch,
Backed by an awesome soundtrack,
Beat up old ladies.

—Reimu (not that one)

What the hell's this game?
Oh crap, too many bullets!
How is this so cute?!

—Taco

Such beautiful patterns
Thrown by adorable girls
Who may be older

—Arle Kaakun

The Touhou Plots: Haiku Edition

Highly Responsive to Prayers
My shrine is destroyed!
The culprit who has done this

—Berserk Button, Will be ying-yang orb'd!

{{haiku| Story of Eastern Wonderland I just had training... ... and monsters at home are rampant. |Chance to test training! [[Say It with Hearts|<3}}

Phantasmagoria of Dim.Dream
Fought a science freak
To get the contest's prizes...

—Don't just take me home!

Lotus Land Story
A sleepy lady
Thought the following is fun:

—Omnicidal Maniac, Turning to atoms

Mystic Square
Went to kinda-Hell
Because of tourist demons.

—Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, That, my friend, is bad]].

Embodiment of Scarlet Devil
Red mist is everywhere.
Time to fly to some mansion

—And kill a vampire.

Perfect Cherry Blossom
Where's my goddamn spring?!
Looks like some dead girl stole it.

—But look, pretty trees!

Immaterial and Missing Power
So many parties
That I can't think right no more.

—Dammit, Suika.

{{haiku| Imperishable Night They stole the full moon! Straight from Japanese folklore! |It's Touhou... in SPACE!}}

Shoot The Bullet
Ayayayaya
Ayayayayayaya
—Ayayayaya
Mountain of Faith
There's only room here
For one miko, Sanae.
—Spellcards at dawn, .

{{haiku| Scarlet Weather Rhapsody Earthquakes screw things up. Reimu beats the culprit up |Memetic Mutation|But she [[Too Kinky to Torture|enjoys it.}}

Subterranean Animism
From deep underground
Kanako invented nukes.

—What were you thinking?!

Undefined Fantastic Object
Why can that ship fly?
Because Murasa's driving.

—That explains it all.

Hisoutensoku
The Chinese gate-guard
Dreams of fighting a cat-fish.

—She's a real nut-case.

Miko from our world
Seeks out Mobile Suit Gundam
Beats up frog instead.

—Stardf 29

An ice fairy wants
To tame a beast, ends up with
A great doll master.

—Cobalt Hyper Max

Double Spoiler
"Like, so scandalous!
These shots are, like, so pretty!"

—Shut up, Hatate.

"Touhou 12.8;
Danmaku is bullet hell?
Hell's frozen over."

—Buri-chan

Ten Desires
A religious war,
exploited by one Miko.
(And a Tanuki!)

—Joseph Staleknight