ToyHammer/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


ToyHammer has many, mostly based around shout outs and the introduction of Warhammer 40,000 characters to Earth circa 2009:

  • Michael's self-introduction:

"Alright. So. Introductions first, along with whoever is your command squad. I'm Michael, I own this house and can crush you with a tank."
Thinking for a moment, I decided to add: "Repeatedly, if necessary. Or with something heavier."

  • Allowing a AveMachina Techpriest to play Counter-Strike counts as a CMOF just by the concept of it.
  • Another Omake one (Ordo Vermin): "AAH! Its (rat shit) seeping through my armor weave!" - Wu'bie
  • Alice getting the freak out of her system and most of Chapter 12; Corner of Woe, Vincent's Squee problems, Shas'ui Fi'rios Yon'anuk Eldi'myr (AKA Sergeant Talon) and this is within the first third of the chapter.
  • Denying Chaplain Morteus his trophy near the end of said chapter.

"Why does 'with all due respect' sound like 'frak you', Vincent?"

"Oi'z jus da Big Boss. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

It began to rain Orks
—Also, ceiling orks watch you torture the main character!
  • First proper meeting with Batel is this, followed immediately after by High Octane Nightmare Fuel.
  • The Tau Fire Warrior getting taught by Madork Gunna how to properly WAAAAAAAGH!!
  • "Goddamn bipolar Eldar..."
  • Chapter 22: the memory of Tomas finding out Ishabeth's gender via grabbing the front of her robes and pulling her up. Then getting slapped. CMOA for Ishabeth, for becoming one of the few people who slapped a Commissar in the face and got away with it scot-free.
  • Michael explaining himself in front of Zara and all surviving psykers: After the Slaaneshi cultist keeps turning his words against him, he changes his tactic:

Michael: Look, I'll show you what I've been trying to do to her, how about that?
Rose of Slaanesh: Oh, you can't possibly do that while I'm still dressed, dear t--
(LOTS OF DAKKA!)

Weirdboyz: O_O

  • Zara's reaction to Michael calling her 'Dear': she slaps him so hard that it sets his cheek on fire!
  • The answer when asking an Eldar Ranger (predominantly a sniper class) why he is fighting by Dual-Wielding swords.

"Multiclassing."

  • Eldar Howling Banshees + Iron Maiden = CMOF, or subtle Take That?
  • This exchange between the main character and the two more powerful psychics in the house.

Michael: Can we all behave like adults here?

Zara: Absolutely not.

Emma: No. I'm still ten years old, remember?