Uncharted/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Drake's Fortune:

  • In the cutscene after Chapter 1:

Elena: Of course I don't trust them...
(Nathan and Sully drive away in their boat.)
Elena: Sonofabitch.

  • As Drake is jumping out of a plane that is going down, he recounts how to parachute out of a plane (jump, count to 5, pull the rip cord), and when he does, he goes into full on Motor Mouth and Oh Crap mode, counting to five in less then a second, and screaming, especially when he finds out that the parachute has a hole in it.
  • A very funny conversation between Drake and one of the guards in the intercom - Drake tries to con them in Bahasa Indonesian.

Guard: Halo?
Drake: Buka pintu! (Open the door!)
Guard: Siapa ini? Bicara Sekarang! (Who is this? Speak now!)
Drake: Ah, crap...Sialan lo! Cepatan, buka pintu! (Damn it! Hurry up, open the door!)
Guard: Ah, tai! (Ah, shit!)

    • And the door opens! Drake laughs, convinced of his own genius...and is then greeted by unhappy men with guns pouring from the entrance.
  • Elena's response to Nate asking if she can use a gun.

Elena: Sure. It's...like a camera, right? You just point it and shoot.
Nate: Good girl!

  • As Drake is about to go into a dangerous-looking cave, Sully warns him to be careful. His response is "Aren't I always?", which is when he bashes his head against the top of the entrance.

Nate: Ow! I did not see that!


Among Thieves:

  • Many times in Among Thieves, but the shining star is when Elena asks Nate how scared he was that she was going to die on a scale of one to ten. (She got a four.) And Nate's denial that he cried.

Nate: It was raining and you were unconscious.
Elena: It was sunny and you were bawling. Whatever, I kept your tears in a jar. I have proof.

  • "How the hell am I supposed to take out a hELLoooooo!"
  • "I'm sorry, do you have a plan to go with that grenade?"
  • Nate's hand puppet show after getting put in jail in the second game.
    • "Hey, jackass, you're ruining the show here."
  • Chloe, Flynn and Nate, after discovering their employer has sent them after something vastly more valuable than they had assumed:

Chloe: So. We're dicking this guy over, right?
Nate and Flynn: (in unison) Yes.

  • "There's a guy above you, there's a guy above you!" (Drake tosses guard off roof.) "There's a guy below you, there's a guy below you!"
  • Nate and Chloe climb to the top of a ruined hotel to discover a rooftop pool. If the player has Nate jump in and swims around, it triggers a conversation:

Nate: Hey, check it out: Marco!
Chloe: Really?
Nate: C'mon!
Chloe: No.
Nate: (still swimming) Marco!
Chloe: ... (sighs) Polo.
Nate: (gets out of pool) FISH OUT OF WATER!
Chloe: You are so unprofessional.

    • Ironicus had a long giggle about that one when he discovered it.
  • Nate griping about anything and everything while climbing up the train in Chapter 15.
    • In the same vein, Nate heroically leaving everyone else behind so that he'll fight Lazarevic alone, and then bitching about what a stupid move it is the moment they're out of earshot.
  • As an addendum to the first bit, Drake reveals in said scene what he uses as a "ten" baseline on the Fright Scale:

Drake, in a completely serious voice: "Clowns".

    • Also Elena's reaction to it.

Elena: Clowns over my death?

  • Nate's Diary:
    • ¡SKELZOR!
    • The Scare-O-Meter: Demon Sasquatch, Slippery Naked Dude and Sully's moustache.
    • The Many Faces of Victor Goddamn Sullivan.
    • Angry Eddie: I kill you, Drake! RIP
    • A scribbled reminder to buy altitude sickness pills and lipbalm.
    • Two pages covered in telephone numbers and names, all of them female, with dried flowers taped in beside them. Oh, Nate.
    • The picture labelled "SS Assholes", near an old note with the caption "Taken off dead Nazi #7, 862".
  • In the museum, Drake asks if Flynn is going to climb up and disable the alarm. Flynn just turns to him silently with a Fascinating Eyebrow.
  • Tenzin is swinging from one side of a chasm to the other:

Nate: There's no way you can make (Tenzin lands safely) oh hey you made it.

  • When Nate and Elena find (or rather fail to find) the entrance to Shambhala:

Nate: Here it is, Elena. The entrance to Shambhala.
Elena: ...Where is it?
Nate: I don't know.


Drake's Deception

  • Sully, Elena, and Drake have come across a secret entrance without any guns.

Sully: Not going down there without some hardware.
Elena: Go talk to that rug merchant we just passed.
Sully: Guns, weapons!
Elena: He's not really a rug merchant.

Sully: (Realising) Ohhhhh.

Sully returns with a pair of sawed-off shotguns and hands one to Elena, leaving Drake weaponless.

Sully: (off Nate's look) What? He only had two.

  • In the flashback with kid!Nate, blink and you'll miss it, but when Sully sets down a beer and a fizzy fruit drink with lunch, the kid reaches for the beer first.
  • Most things that come out of Cutter's mouth are hilarious, especially when interacting with Nate.
  • It's dark, but:

Nate: (with complete and grim seriousness) Listen, you can torture me all you want -
Pirate Captain: (face lighting up) Okay!
Nate: Uhh, no, I mean -

    • Same conversation also gives us this

Pirate Captain: Where is Iram of the Pillars?
Nate: I don't know, buddy.
Pirate Captain: You insult me!
Nate: (exasperated) You're a pirate!

  • Towards the end of the final chapter, when Nate inadvertently causes the entire city of Ubar to collapse.

Sully: Three goddamned bullets. How the Hell did you do this with three goddamned bullets?!

  • "So then the guy says: 'Well, you better tickle mine too, 'cause now I gotta catch the goddamned thing.'" Oh, Sully.
  • Nate and Sully's reunion after Sully supposed "death". Nate points a gun at him and questions how he's supposed to know whether Sully's real or not. Sully just walks up to him, takes the gun, flicks Nate on the nose and then tells him never to point a gun at him again.
    • Made even funnier when you consider that the nose flicking is likely how he may have disciplined Nate when Nate was a kid.
  • Nate commenting that a clapped out old rustbucket is Sully's first car. Made even funnier because Sully seems genuinely interested about it.
  • This conversation on uncovering a well;

Sully: Well, well, well.
Nate: Heh, cute.
Elena: What?

Nate: Because it's a well.

  • Chloe remarking that Cutter was 'tripping balls'.
  • Nate's notebook has a sketch of a couple of objects he and Sully passed by (including what looks like an old popcorn machine) with WTF ARE THESE?! written underneath.
  • A quick gag in the Yemen level. Nate is Parkour-chasing Talbot through the backstreets and ultimately into a hotel. Talbot runs through an open door, and when Nate follows, Talbot slams the door in his face and locks it. Nate, knocked off balance, staggers around and crashes through a different door - which opens into the same room.

Talbot: Shit. (chase continues)


Golden Abyss:

  • The part where you got a convoy of trucks with machine gun firing at you. Marisa Chase tells Drake that she saw explosives with the convoy. Drake replied with something along the lines of "No no no, that's not a good plan." Then the canvas covering the backmost-truck flips open, revealing a truckload of guess what.
  • Nathan dislikes taking the "scenic route" because the last time he did it, he ended up in a ditch behind the Taj Mahal. Naked.
  • "Why's the building on fire?" (Because Nathan Drake, that's why.)
  • When Dante tells Nate to go crying back to Sully. Nate defiantly responds that he doesn't need Sully. The next scene?

Nate: Sully, I need you!

  • The entire river scene between Nate and Sully.

Misc.:

Nate: Black was a bad choice!

  • Nolan North explaining he got the inspiration for Nate's catchphrase 'Kitty got wet' from his son.

Nolan: An eight year old little boy. And I stole it!

Nolan: I think what attracts Nate to Elena the most is the fact she's compassionate -
Emily: (nods)
Nolan: She's intelligent.
Emily: (nods)
Nolan: And she's - we're talking about Elena.
Emily: Yeah! I get it.
Nolan: So just... relax. Just cool the jets.