Yugi: No, I was talking about the time I saved you from that bully!
Joey: Oh...eh, no, no I don't remember that.
Yugi: But I was all heroic and stuff...
Joey: ...Hey, remember the time me and Tristan took your millennium puzzle?
Tristan and Joey from flashback: Tooooormeeeeeent!
Robert: I swear, if I wasn't your King, you would have hit me already. Ned: The worst thing about your coronation is that I can never hit you again.
...
[Robert's squire struggles with his breastplate when Ned enters the tent.] Squire: It was made too small, your grace. It won't go. Robert: Your mother was a dumb whore, with a fat arse! [to Ned] Look at this idiot! He can't even put a man's armour on properly! Ned: [matter-of-fact] You're too fat for your armour. Robert: Fat? Fat, is it?! Is that how you speak to your king?!!
[Ned and Robert stare at one another. Ned smirks. Robert bursts out laughing. Ned follows, and then nervously, the Squire.] Robert: [grimly] That's funny, is it? Squire: No, your Grace. Robert: No?! You don't like the Hand's joke?!
Squire: [dumb-founded]
Robert: You heard the Hand: the king is too fat for his armour! Go find the breast-plate-stretcher! Go!
Walt: How are you doing Martin, you crazy Italian prick? Barber Martin: Walt, your cheap bastard. I should have know you should come in right now. I was having such a pleasant time. Walt: What did you do, cheat some blind man out of his money, gave him the wrong change? Barber Martin: Whos the nip? Walt: Oh, he is a pussy kid from next door. I am just trying to Man him up a little bit. Barber Martin: Hmm... Walt: You see kid, thats how guys talk to one another. Thao: ...they do? Barber Martin: What, you got chip in your ears? Walt: Go on out, and come back in and talk to him like a real man. Thao: [Exits and re-enters the shop] Excuse me Sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy you old Italian son of a bitch prick barber. Boy, does my ass hurt from all of the guys at my construction job Barber Martin: [Picks up and point a rifle at Thao] Get out of my shop before I blow your head off, you goddamn dick sucker! Go!
Walt: What the hell are you doing?! You just don't go in and insult a man in his own shop!
Black Mage: I have a friend. White Mage: What you have is a highly dysfunctional relationship based exclusively on abuse Black Mage: Right. A friend. White Mage: See that, that right there, that's what's wrong with you.
[[[Beat]]]
Black Mage: Damnit, Fighter. White Mage doesn't like me because you're a rotten friend.
Levan smiled. "When I hear two people spar like that, I am certain that there is actually a profound affection between them."
"Oh, God," said Rubin, visibly revolted. His sparse beard bristled and his eyes, magnified through the thick lenses of his glasses, glared.
"You've hit it, Mr. Levan," said Gonzalo. "Manny would give me the shirt off his back if no one were looking. The only thing he wouldn't give me is a kind word."
Look how we get along together. (You are incredibly annoying) I think it's great the way we blend. (You're like a bone stuck in my throat) You've tried to be as tough as leather. (This isn't something I'm enjoying). But now I see that's just pretend. (I shoulda left you on that boat!) We'll find our way through stormy weather. (You want a friend? Go find a snail!) Just you and me right to the end. (Or better yet, Killer Whale!) Hey buddy, looks like we're two birds of a feather. (Don't call me buddy!)
Varric: Carver. Carver: Still think you're helping while bearing us in debt to your brother? Varric: Still riding side-saddle while bitching at your betters? Carver: Drinks later?
Edward: So ... what do I do when I run into Reggie again? I mean, I came this close to reorganizing his landscape. Thomas: Suck it up. Apologize. Be the bigger man. Heh. Metaphorically. Edward: Right. How are you my friend again?
Thomas: My abuse is playful and originates from genuine caring.
