Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

It has been over a century since society as we know it today suddenly collapsed under its own weight. Religion - gone. Modern culture - gone. Cities - gone, except for one solitary refuge of humanity, the kingdom of McDonaldland, where everything is red and yellow (the sacred colors of Ronald McDonald), everybody works at McDonald's (by official decree), everyone eats McDonald's food (all other food, including home-cooked meals, has been outlawed), and a three-hundred-foot-high steel wall separates the last of humanity from the Wasteland outside.

Nobody goes willingly into the wasteland. Nobody knows much about it, but everybody knows about the wolves - and those who violate the most holy decrees of the Blessed Church of McDonald's, they will be thrown into the Wasteland for the wolves to take - and nobody who suffers this fate has ever been seen again.

Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland is Carlton Mellick III's take on post-apocalyptic wasteland movies, his answer to The Road Warrior and the like. He swears he didn't mean for it to be a Furry book.

Barbarian Beast Bitches Of The Badlands is the sequel.

Tropes used in Warrior Wolf Women of the Wasteland include:
  • Abusive Parents: Nova's dad, the chief of the Fry Guys, molested her when she was a teenager and then had her exiled before she could dispute his official report.
  • Alliteration
  • Awesome McCoolname: The overwhelming majority of the Wolf Girls have names like November, Slayer, Athena, Mars, Venus... and Pippi. Daniel remembers that a handful of them took these as stage names from when they were in a punk band.
  • Badass: All the Wolf Girls.
  • Biker Babe: Most of the Wolf Girls, until they get too big and savage.
  • Bizarro Fiction
  • Canis Major: The big sisters, huge monstrous wolves that used to be women of McDonaldland.
  • Does Not Like Men: The Wolf Girls, particularly Slayer and Pippi, prefer to treat men like slaves and refer to them as Meat. Nova is an exception, but only towards Daniel, and Slayer gets better after seeing some of the prisoners give up a chance at freedom to free some trapped Wolf Girls in a burning van.
  • Double Standard: Sex in McDonaldland is strictly regulated, allowed only with special permits and only for procreation (see Our Werewolves Are Different below for why). Men have the option to masturbate to blow off steam, but women do not. Sometimes, though, men find A Date with Rosie Palms to be inadequate, and will resort to rape. Rapists frequently go unpunished, because a woman reporting the rape would be admitting to illegal sexual activity (yes, it counts even if it was nonconsensual) and subject to being thrown to the wolves.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Slayer, who had forgotten her birth name after being exiled and on her own for a year, was eventually found by the Wolf Girls and dubbed Bear Slayer because of her skill at hunting and killing bears. They shortened it to Slayer once they saw that she was skilled at hunting and killing lots of other things.
  • Fat Bastard: Everyone in McDonaldland, a logical result from eating exclusively McDonald's food for one's entire life.
  • Fur Bikini: Nova has one, but in this case it's just the pattern her own fur grew in.
  • Furry Fandom: ...completely by accident.
  • Hot Amazon: Many of the Wolf Girls.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: A really weird example here. The women, as they turn into wolves, start to see men as a source of food as well as sexual pleasure and procreation, but this can be excused as them giving into their more savage nature. Then Daniel discovers that a band of mutants called the Outsiders has been supplementing the meat supply of McDonaldland. How? They capture the Wolf Girls, rape them until they become big sisters, and then covert them into nu-wolves, headless, mindless meat factories similar in concept to the nu-cows and nu-chickens. They sell the nu-wolf meat back to McDonaldland, whose authorities apparently don't know or don't care where the meat is coming from.
  • Individuality Is Illegal
  • "It's Not Rape If You Enjoyed It": Pippi invokes this when she ceremonially rapes Daniel in an attempt to induce her change into a Big Sister, instructing him to moan as loud as she does in order to piss off Daniel's ex-girlfriend (and true love) Nova.
  • Mega Corp: McDonald's has taken over every single aspect of society in the kingdom of McDonaldland.
  • Multi-Armed and Dangerous: Daniel Togg, the narrator, has a second pair of arms that he must keep hidden when he is in public. He soon discovers that a lot of other people also suffer from additional limbs.
  • My Girl Is Not a Slut: November and Slayer were exiled for events that happened out of their control. November was supposedly raped at gunpoint, while Slayer happened to have an overly-large clitoris that caused things like walking in tight pants or riding a bicycle to stimulate her sexually.
  • No Man Left Behind: Usually played straight by the Wolf Girls, but Pippi subverts it during a Fry Guy ambush when she is ready to leave her rival November to be captured by the mutants. Daniel and several of his fellow prisoners play it straight, though, giving up a chance for freedom to free some Wolf Girls trapped in a burning van.
  • Our Werewolves Are Different: All women of McDonaldland start turning into wolves after they engage in any sexual activity, even masturbation. Although the condition is called lycanthropy, it is purely genetic, it is not controlled by the moon, it is not transmitted by a bite, it does not happen all at once, and the transformation is irreversible. As the changes progress, the women start to give in to their more animal instincts, and most start dressing in red and yellow burkas to hide their changes (except for younger, more progressive mothers, though displaying feral features so openly is considered low-class). Eventually, when the wolflike features become too pronounced, the women are captured and exiled outside the walls - which is why there are so many wolves out there. The changes continue outside, and the women get bigger and more wolfy until you have wolves with the occasional hominid feature like breasts or humanlike legs, big enough to eat a van and use a standard human male as a dildo.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Daniel's co-worker Pete.
  • Sex Is Evil: Because of the genetic condition described in Our Werewolves Are Different above, sex became illegal in McDonaldland. One may only engage in sexual activity if you have a permit issued by the McDonaldland Board of Directors, which is issued only if you are married and only have sex to procreate. It's only good for five days, whether or not pregnancy results. If the wolf-like features are not too obvious, you can apply for a second permit in a few years, under the same terms. Only the upper class may apply for a third permit, although this is rare.
  • Sex Is Violence: The general philosophy of the wolf girls towards their captured men. They might rape them. They might maul them. They might kill and eat them. They might eat them without killing them first. One of them rapes a guy twice and then eats him.
  • You Sexy Beast: A strange case here. The women of McDonaldland develop wolflike features, bit by bit, every time they engage in any sexual activity at all. As they become more wolflike, their sex drive increases accordingly and their sexual frustration grows. After they are exiled from the city, they hunt down any men (generally other exiles) who come out to the wasteland and either eat them or rape them. Or possibly both.
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