Wham! Line/Web Comics

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• Girl Genius: "Oh, and I saw the Baron a bit when I was on Castle Wulfenbach. But I had to run away when everybody found out I was a Heterodyne."
  • "I believe the ignorant call them slaver wasps."
  • "Yes...But I vas starting to like her."
  • Or probably the earliest,

Klaus: "What - Judy!"

• • "I am sorry, mistress...I...I cannot." Spoken by Castle Heterodyne, letting the heroine just how screwed the situation is.
  • And: "SCREEE! GROWR! SSSSSS! SSSSSS!" the reaction of a revenant-detecting creature to exposure to Gilgamesh Wulfenbach.
    • And following that: "She didn't have to. You were infected before you even met her."
• Megatokyo: "If I sleep with you, will you go away?"
• Kid Radd: "No no no, Crystal has left the building...YOU'RE TALKING TO THE SEER."
  • Sheena gets a few.

Sheena: (to Radd) "Besides, if you'd died, how could I arrest you?" Sheena: "The Mods have already won. By now, Reset has fallen."

• City of Reality: "Take me back. Now."
• The Space Between: "Come inside. People might think you're an actual hobo."
• Sluggy Freelance:

Riff: "Torg, it was me."

• • "It was about that time Aylee announced she was dying."
  • "But you can be at peace, for we are your people, Aylee. You are finally home."
  • And then in 4U City Red:

Riff: How long have I been here? Rammer: About seven years.

• Gunnerkrigg Court:

Muut: The day Surma died...none of us came to take her. Annie: I had to do it myself.

Reynardine: You are the reason Surma died!

Coyote: Don't tell me no one has told the girl she isn't exactly human!

Antimony: ... Father?

• The Order of the Stick Strip #758 is somewhat unique in that several people deliver the Wham.

Tarquin: We've gone through dozens of different names by now...The Dutchy of Terror, the Barren Baronies... First Prisoner: The Quietus Federation... Second Prisoner: The Unprincipled Principalities... Tarquin: ...Tyranaria... First prisoner: Speaking of names, we haven't properly introduced ourselves. I'm Geoff, and this is my brother-in-law, Ian. Second Prisoner: They used to call me "Red", but three years of malnutrition will do a number on your hair color.

• • Black Dragon: "...Now I will kill your children."
  • From #498:

Horace: How long do you think you've been here? In the afterlife? Roy: I dunno, 12 hours? Maybe 14? Why? Horace: Roy...you've been dead for three and a half months.

• • From #1139 (more a Wham! Panel, but the line counts, too):

Thor: – but we sure ain't quitters.

• Out There gives us this (little spoileriffic). After Miriam and Clayton have been bantering, and the former has made it perfectly clear that that's not going to happen, and the latter has been accepting of that: "Anyway, don't you think any of these losers wouldn't flock to see you [work as a stripper]? Hell, I'm sure I would." The kiss afterward serves the same general purpose.
• A lengthy time-travel arc in Narbonic is turned on its head with a single innocuous line. Everything Dave tries fails in some way, and he comes to the conclusion that You Can't Fight Fate. Then he says that he needs a cigarette, and is asked "Since when do you smoke?" The sudden realization that he no longer feels a craving for a cigarette--that, in fact, he feels like he's never smoked before--gives him the confidence to try to prevent what he knows is coming.
  • And in its final month, courtesy of a young time-traveller: "And I think, in the end, you and Mom can find some kind of happiness." The character being spoken to didn't even realize the bomb that had just been dropped until a few seconds later -- you can almost hear the Record Needle Scratch.
• Homestuck gets more than a few. In chronological order:
  • Courtesy of Aradia Megido:

AA: banished fr0m the universe we left behind AA: and yet in being denied the ultimate reward AA: we w0uld be barred fr0m entry AA: int0 the universe we created.

• • Dave listens to the Horrorterrors.

TG: im pretty sure it was TG: like TT: ? TG: a plea for help

• • And then Rose reveals the identity of her informant:

TG: what you mean a troll TT: No. TT: It's a man who exists in another universe. TT: He wants to die.

• • A pretty big one came buried under lots of text here

GG: because he said hes my grandson

• • "While a timer counts down with no particular clock stepping forward to claim it...The most important character in Homestuck fondly regards the miracle of a new beginning."
  • One word shattered the expectations of fans: DEAD. It also overlaps with Unsound Effect.
  • Kanaya informs Jade on the importance of the Genesis Frog:

GA: He Is Not Responsible For Just One Aspect Of The Universe You Create GA: He's Responsible For All Of Them GA: Bilious Slick Is Your Universe

• • And with this line from Eridan, everything goes to hell:

CA: fight him CA: are you fuckin nuts CA: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophesized CA: of course im not gonna fight him i stand no chance in hell against that guy CA: im goin to join him

• • Then after a series of shocking events: "Don't turn your back on the body."
  • And then:

TC: shut up.

• • "Pardon me while I let Jack inside."
  • Doc Scratch gets a few of these during his intermission. Sorted by date:
    • 5/31/11: "With as little fanfare, he seized the opportunity to follow the Thief's trail quickly before it dissipated, and destroyed their hideout in the veil."
    • 6/8/11: "What sort of story would this be, with our Knight and Seer made to stay cadavers? Certainly not one the alpha timeline would allow. And not one she'd allow either."
    • 6/19/11: "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KILL HER."
  • When Dreambubble John finally begins to remember his death:

GT: This was not the suit i was wearing when i died.

• • Davesprite explains to Jade his second encounter with Hephaestus:

[[color:#f2a400:DAVESPRITE: see it turns out DAVESPRITE: i had no idea how the denizens worked at all]]

• • From Nannasprite, on the identity of her adopted mother, Betty Crocker:

pipefan413: She knew the baroness was not human! :B

• • Karkat apologizes:

PCG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.

• • Betty Crocker: @turntechGodhead Please enjoy. Mr. Strider. http://tinyurl.com/MoThErFuCkInMiRaClEs
  • We find out why Gamzee is "the most important character in Homestuck":

TC: AND I WENT AND MADE YOUR UNIVERSE... TC: terminal. Bo)

• • Quoth Doc Scratch about an early set of Alternians: "The heroes chose to accept this bargain, and scratched their session."
    • A little later, same conversation: "But in addition to losing their memories of everything that had happened before the scratch, there was another catch for the failed heroes. In the new reality, they would not serve as the heroes."
    • And a final one from Scratch, probably the biggest of all, at the EOA5 flash, right before all the kids' plans come to a head and the universe is reset:

S u c k e r s.

• • uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 11:17
  • In an otherwise silly and hilarious conversation with a 15-year-old drunk:

[[color:#00d5f2:GG: I believe SOMEBODY doesn't want me to play. GG: How else do you explain the recent attempts on my life?]]

• • "The Page is dead. Our hope is lost."
  • When John asks how long it will take him and Jade to cross the Yellow Yard and arrive in the new session:

GG: i would say GG: if i keep our speed constant... GG: we should arrive in about three years

• • "You say it's all fair game now that the kingdom's under new management. The new boss ain't opposed to taking some shrewd tactical shortcuts."
    • Followed by: "He says it's probably because she wears the most grand and luxurious fluffy hat he's ever seen. You say you don't think that's a hat. You think it's something called 'hair.'"
  • In a conversation with Dirk Strider, Roxy drops this conversational bomb, about her "upbringin"

TG: like TG: do u know how misrable it is for your bff to doubt you TG: when you tell her your mom is dead

• • In a dream bubble, Terezi has a chat with Vriska. Only to learn something unexpected.

GC: VR1SK4 GC: YOU SOUND R34LLY D1FF3R3NT GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D TO YOU OUT H3R3? AG: Sorry for the ruse. AG: Though it isn't as far from the truth as it possi8ly could 8e, I am not who you think I am.

• • And with this line, humanity's fate is made significantly less ambiguous:

TT: There are no humans either. They all went extinct. TT: Roxy and I are the only ones left, as far as we know.

• • uu: I ALREADY KILLED HER!!!!!
• Mortifer: "That's...Well, that's impossible...There was only one demon with that name, and he died off hundreds of years ago."
  • "The new leader of the black market, Vlademyre Hynner."
  • "We have a demon of our own."
  • "That's when I started to realize something. This entire business had to be crushed, and all its people have to pay for what they've done."
  • "Yes, he worked at Sintec, but your research lacked greatly. Sintec doubles as a mercenary company, the idea of the "exterminator" company was simply a cover for the real thing. Joey had taken over the presidency after the unfortunate accident of the former president."
• Haru-Sari: "Come on, Cygnet, this isn't even your room!"
• Ménage à 3: (NSFW)

Yuki: promise we'll be like this forever... Garii.

• Penny and Aggie
  • Early on,

Sara: "Will you just! Kiss her! Already?"

• • Which much later led to...

Penny: "You wanna...pretend a little more for a minute?"

• Questionable Content: "Marten, do you like me?" As Faye herself put it, "like interrupting an intricate waltz with a sledgehammer to the knee."
  • Also, much later, "...Well. I guess that's it, then," turning a pretty standard Dora/Marten arc into a Wham! Episode.
• El Goonish Shive: "It was real. The monster was a golem created by one who must be found. The girl is a good Samaritan who can fly. What was seen is what was."
  • Before that, near the end of Sister II:

Pandora Chaos Raven: Very well. You want to make a difference? You want a world you can freely participate in? I will give it to you.

• General Protection Fault

Nicole: "Admittedly, calling someone an attempted murderer is harsh, but tell me, Mr. Terrell, what were you doing before you were hired by GPF Software?"

• • Later on, not so much because of the secret discussed but because Nick is aware of it.

Nick: "So now that that’s done and over with, can we talk about our time traveling son from the alternate future?"

• • When Fooker goes to his ex-girlfriend Sharon to apologize.

Sharon: Dex and I will be staying at his folks' place for a while. Dexter: Yeah, they can still hardly believe it...I’ve finally got a girlfriend.

• • While Trudy and Yoshi are discussing Ki, and Trudy is hesitant to go see her.

Yoshi: Just as well, I guess. She’s too wrapped up in her loser boyfriend. He’ll be back any minute now...

• Looking for Group: "He's not dead."
  • And, on a related note, "Ow?"
  • I'm slowly turning human.
• Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures:

Aaryana: "Destania must be so proud to have such a wonderful and kind incubus like you for a son!" Abel (reading Jyrras's mind): "Lesse... Dan...D an...friends since childhood...came to rescue him... have had a slight crush on him since..."

• • Or on a much more ominous note.

M.A.C.E. (looking up Abel): "Father: Aniz Siar (Cubi) / Born: Unknown / Status: Deceased (1964 Dekith) / [Killed by Quintinga Ti'fona]."

• • Even more ominous:

Mab: "It is hard enough knowing two of my friends will die."

• Starfighter: "Gentlemen, this is a time sensitive matter. Therefore I shall be brief. We are losing this war."
• Girly. Courtesy of Otra.

Otra: It was all a lie

• Something*Positive: "...But I'm not drunk now, Jason."
  • ".... oh. Oh."
• Kevin and Kell

Kevin: (to the rabbit that saved Kell when she went to look for his parents) Thanks, Dad.

• • This exchange

Dorothy: Is that another request for an arranged marriage with Coney? Kevin: Yes, Mom...an archaic, backward tradition! Dorothy: I know, it's too bad the one I set up for you in infancy didn't work out.

• • After the intruder identifies himself as a political operative for Kevin's Rabbit Council opponent.

Kevin: But I’m not up for re-election for years! Intruder: Check that. You’re facing a recall.

• • When Rudy asks who would be unlucky enough to have to give Vin Vulpen a tail transplant, Lindesfarne holds a ruler at his tail and says "Four inches should do it."
  • "Kell...you...you won. You're the new CEO of Herd Thinners!"
  • After it's revealed that the evidence connecting Kevin's father and Angelique to killing Sid was done to them by the other in the hopes of Framing the Guilty Party, this exchange happens.

Papa Kindle: But if neither of us is the killer, then who is? Danielle: I'd say there's a 100% chance it's me, Daddy

• Dominic Deegan had one: "David Johann, the King of Callan"
• Shortpacked!
  • A guessing game ends.

Ethan: Well lookie there, we have a winner.

• • The beginning of a disturbing relationship.

nice!Mike: So you plan to keep me inebriated to make me the perfect boyfriend? I hate to say. It's been done. And it didn't end well. Amber: No, I want you to date me sober.

• • World peace at the ultimate price.

Roz: Not since-- no, look, hey, LEAVE, okay before-- Robin: Before what? Before I get the stink of worldwide hero all over the place? Roz: No, before... Leslie: Before I find you.

• • At the end of a fairly typical filler week, we see Mike and Amber at Comic-Con:

Amber: Since when are you helpful? Mike: Since being "helpful" means sending people to go wait in four-hour lines for stuff that's likely to sell out just as they reach the booth. Amber: Wow. I'm marrying the devil. Mike: Hasbro's making this way too easy for me. (the comic appears to be over, then suddenly, one extra panel at the very bottom...) Mike: Wait, what?

• • After the proposal...

Leslie: Bull. Are you telling me your vomitfest was just for show? Amber: S'no big deal. Just been feeling extra nauseous this week. Leslie: Um. Amber: What?

• Survivor Fan Characters:
  • Season 7:

Chrii: "Guys, Manya did lie. Wrecker didn't have the idol."

• • • Followed quickly by:

Jeff Probst: "Chrii is playing the Hidden Immunity Idol. All votes for Chrii do not count. I'll read the votes."

• • Season 9:

Cherman: "You see, there is one other tool I have. It's a mini voice recorder that Brenton and Madison accidentally made removable from my body. And I gave it to Barbie."

• Fans: "There is more than one being in the universe who desires souls."
  • "Television?"
• Electric Wonderland ended its sixth story by having NJ try to call police to arrest Aerynn Arlia. The cop he talked to, Natasha Wing, refused to believe NJ's report, because she never encountered Aerynn in all her years of crimefighting. It sounds like a foolish reason not to take any action, until...

Natasha: I've also studied the physics code for the Internet and over half the powers you told me are impossible. IM. POSSIBLE.

• • Later, Trawn and NJ discover that the government's magic-seeking equipment never detects Aerynn's brand of magic. NJ then asked if this meant they can't find anyone who practices the powers as Aerynn, so she answered, "No one has my powers, Nate!" He subsequently demanded to know exactly how powerful she is. She admitted, "I don't know...Because there are a lot of things I'm afraid to try!" This sounds especially surprising after she spent nearly all of the previous comics performing actions possible only through Rule of Funny.
• Dissonance: The setting is an entirely ordinary (but fictional) university. The main characters have discovered an unusual, undocumented kind of animal, they've named "Pandora". They've discovered she has a number of unusual traits; she can stand on two legs, her mane glows in the dark, and she cares for injured rodents, despite resembling a cat. A reporter hears about it;

Ceyla: So, Sarah. Your pre-print on the scientific journals stated your discovery of Pandora could reshape the current view of the history of evolution, do you really think she is that important of a discovery? Sarah: Yes. Beat Ceyla: There is an online movement claiming your videos and your discovery are a hoax, do you believe the scientific community can look past these allegations? Sarah: Yes. Ceyla: Many fans of Pandora are concerned for her safety in this school, can you reassure our viewers that no harm will come to her in the name of science? Sarah: Yes. Ceyla: That was "good", but maybe you could elaborate a little more? I feel like I could get a livelier interview out of Pandora. *to Pandora* What do you think, cutie? Would you like your own interview? Pandora: Yes.

• Princess Pi once featured two in the same conversation:

Sam: What do you even have to cry about? You're rich! I only get a $75000 allowance! You don't even take advantage of it! You wear the same earrings ALL THE TIME! That's so LAME! Princess Pi: They're stuck to my face. Sam: What? Huh? Princess Pi: The day I found out I was indestructible was the day I got my ears pierced. It took them three hours to manage to make a hole big enough, and once these were in, I couldn't remove them. That was when I was five. It was my mother, Queen Isosceles, who took me there. (She points at a nearby statue) Princess Pi: That statue over there? That's her... But now she's dead! My mother was killed in the war!

• Too Much Information:

Maddy: "I don't mind."

• Ansem Retort:

Zexion: Everything you love will have my dick in it! Namine: I love myself.

• Rice Boy: Not so much the line itself, as who's saying it and who they're saying it to:

Rice Boy: You have traveled long and far - you have reached the iron tower - you have changed form... thrice.