What Do You Mean It's for Kids?/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"After all, these are just simple movies made for kids and not adults at all. That's why they have... -Assassination attempts. Sexual innuendo. Decapitations. Kidnap, torture, and suggested rape. Hookers. Boring political dialogue. Forced amputations. Drug dealing. Mass murder..."
"Our future society is desperately bloodthirsty. When they fight, you see people just foaming at the mouth out of excitement at the destruction. It's a kid's movie!"
Bayer and Snider, Movie B.S. on Real Steel
"The film is a misfire because you really don’t expect a stoner comedy out of a show like Land of the Lost. It’s like having an episode of Little House on the Prairie and having it be about mime rape. Oh wait, there was an episode where one of the characters got raped by a mime."
Miles Antwiler on The Land of the Lost
"Final Fantasy VII is the first and last game in the series to contain a brothel, and I'm not sure why the idea didn't catch on."

"That bastard. I can't forgive him, not after he sent my grandpa to the Shadow Realm."
"The what realm?"
"You know, the Shadow Realm. The big, purply cloudy place that you go to when something really bad happens to you."
"I think you're talking about Hell."
"No, it's the Shadow Realm. You know, whenever people fall from a really tall building or get stabbed in the chest, they go straight to the Shadow Realm. What, you guys don't have the Shadow Realm in the future?"
"I don't think that's a real thing."
"Wait...is my grandpa...really dead?"
"Afraid so, broseph"
"I thought this was supposed to be a kid's movie!"

"My biggest problem with [Nine Lives] is that it has no idea what its audience is. When you go to a movie that's rated PG about a talking cat that's trying to convince his daughter that he's still a good father, you expect it to be for kids or families, right?
Yeah, except 75 percent of this movie is business meetings and really really boring stock market discussions and all kinds of backhanded business policies and people trying to become the head of a company and somebody trying to save said company and all this bullshit that has nothing that a kid would enjoy seeing!
There were other kids in this theater with me who looked bored out of their minds!"

Chris Stuckmann, in his review of Nine Lives.