What an Idiot!/Game Show/Family Fortunes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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The Brits may be more sophisticated than America, but idiocy remains global.

Note: As with the other Game Show pages in What an Idiot!, some of the following contestants may very well have given these stupid answers on purpose. That doesn't make them any less stupid, mind you, but instead become far more worthy of being here.


Bob Monkhouse (1980-83)

  • 1980: A Northern Irish woman whose answer for "Name something blue" was "My cardigan."
  • When the question (to do with horse-racing tracks) was "Name the most dangerous race", one man replied "Arabs!". Needless to say, that was edited out for broadcast.
  • "Name a bird with long legs?" "Sharon Stone!" [1]
  • "Name a good reason for men to dig a hole in the road". Contestant said "Digging a grave". Cue "Dead Slow" gag from Monkhouse.


Max Bygraves (1983-85)

  • 1983: Shortly after Max became the host, a round took seven tries for anyone to give a right answer to "Name a famous Irishman". Some of the guesses were completely off the wall, such as Benjamin Disraeli, Thomas O'Malley and Ernest Hemingway. (And even more humorously, this was also the "turkey" episode.)
    • Ah, yes, the "Turkey" episode. Three Fast Money questions...one answer. Mr. Bob Johnson was the second member of his family to play. It's said that he may have overheard an answer in the first round ("chicken") and decided to wing it. Due to the audience response, he ran out of time after the fourth question (and his answer was a repeat of his partner's), leaving him with just 21 points for the third response:

Bygraves: Name something people take with them to the beach.
Contestant: Turkey.
Bygraves: Name the first thing you buy in a supermarket.
Contestant: Turkey. (as the laughter in the studio increases)
Bygraves: Name a food often stuffed.
Contestant: Turkey. (the audience, and Bygraves, are in tears)

    • Ironically, the answer which Mr Johnson repeated during Big Money before running out of time was also a scoring answer given during the Irishman round (Hurricane Higgins).
  • "Name a body part that begins with the letter 'N'." "Knee?"
  • When asked about what someone should know about their prospective spouse, one contestant suggested "his name".


Les Dennis (1987-2002)

  • A double whammy occurred when Les asked "Name something you expect to find at sea." The first contestant answered "deckchair", and got zero points. The other contestant answered "coffin", which Les assumed was supposed to be a reference to a burial at sea; turns out, said contestant had completely misinterpreted the question, somehow thinking it was "Name something beginning with the letter C."
  • "Name a William Shakespeare play with someone's name in the title" already had "The Scottish Play" and "Hamlet" as the top two answers, and when Les came to one woman she answered "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (mispronouncing it as "A Midsummer's Night Dream" to boot), getting no points. Les wondered aloud whether she had listened to the question, and she replied that "Summer's a girl's name," getting a Flat What from Les in response.
  • From 1994, Heather of the Hooper family has gotten 175 points and three of the five top answers. Chris now has to get 25 points to win £3,000 and get the other two top answers in order to add a new car to that lot. How many points did he score in Big Money? ZERO! Just for the record, here are his answers...
    • Name any country which competes in the Eurovision Song Contest. Luxembourg.
    • Name an animal in a nursery rhyme. Andy Pandy.
    • Name a government position. President. (got zero because there are no presidents in the United Kingdom)
    • Name a vegetable you chop up. Leek.
    • Name a slang word for a child. Brat.


Andy Collins (2002)

  • (Nothing yet, but here just in case.)


Vernon Kay (2006-)

  • In the final round, Brian Dowling was asked "Name a type of bean." He replied "baked bean", which his brother had already said; his second answer? "Lesbian", which got rendered as "Les Bean" on the scoreboard.
  • In an 2012 All-Star edition, skater Robin Cousins was asked to name a body part starting with "N". He replied "knee"... and immediately (and very visibly) realized his mistake. Compounding the mistake was that Cousins and his partner had gotten four of the five #1 answers... had Cousins said something reasonable, he could have donated £30,000 to charity instead of £10,000.


  1. ↑ (The question was looking for an animal, not an attractive woman...although he did have a point.)
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