Why Are We Whispering?

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Janitor (whispering): Shhhhhh! Calm down. I didn't mean to scare you. J.D. (whispering): Why are we whispering? Janitor (whispering): I wanted to see if you would whisper because I whispered. J.D. (whispering): I think I would.

Two characters are discussing something in hushed tones. At one point, the one character says: "Why are we whispering?" and the other one says "I don't know". Otherwise, one character is whispering, and the other one doesn't realize that there is a good reason, and asks in loud tones why. Hilarity Ensues.

Examples of Why Are We Whispering? include:

Film

• Corky St. Clair in Waiting for Guffman.
• Rizzo the Rat in The Muppet Christmas Carol. Gonzo explains it's for dramatic emphasis.
• Also in The Muppets Wizard of Oz:

Scarecrow: [whispering] You see ... [looks round for eavesdroppers] I haven't got a brain. Dorothy: [whispering] What? Scarecrow: [whispering, but louder] Brain! Dorothy: [whispering] Why are we whispering? Scarecrow: [whispering] Uh, I can't really answer that, because ... [looks round for eavesdroppers] I haven't got a brain.

• Three Stooges short, Men In Black (The stooges are hospital doctors, doing surgery.)

Moe: Why are we whispering? Nurse: I don't know why you're whispering, but I lost my voice asking for a raise!

Live Action TV

• Smallville pilot, between Pete Ross and Chloe Sullivan (Chloe sullivan doesn't know why they're whispering and doesn't whisper herself
• Scrubs Season 2 Episode 21, between JD and Janitor
• Will and Grace Season 3 Episode 3, between Will and Jack
• Stargate Atlantis

Dr. McKay: [whispering] They're scanning for us. Dr. Weir: [whispering] Why are you whispering? Dr. McKay: [whispering] I don't know, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

• Roswell Season 1 Episode 2, has a rather large whispering exchange between three characters. Max and Liz are spying on someone, when Kyle, Liz's boyfriend, thinks they are actually making out. He approaches them:

KYLE: Liz! LIZ: Kyle! KYLE: Hey, Max. MAX: [whispers] Hey, Kyle. KYLE: What's going on? LIZ: [whispers] Nothing. KYLE: Why are you whispering? LIZ: [whispers] We’re just, uh, waiting for Michael. We’re gonna go, uh... MAX: Bowl. KYLE: Why are you whispering? LIZ: [whispers] We’re going bowling! KYLE: Liz, what were you doing down there? LIZ: [whispers] Oh, I dropped my ring. KYLE: Why are you whispering?

Toys

• A variation is used in Bionicle. Jerbraz and Mazeka have entered a village of De-Matoran. Jerbraz mentions that the locals can probably hear them whispering due to their acute hearing. Mazeka asks why they even bother whispering. Jerbraz replies, "Out of respect"— it turns out that their hearing is so strong that normal noise levels are painful to them.

Video Games

• Awesomely done in Bulletstorm where, in an attempt to be quiet, Gray just blows up a building after getting tired and annoyed of doing this.

Western Animation

• This happens in at least one episode of Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels.
• Garfield does this in A Garfield Christmas, a monologue variation. "...Why can't they come here where my nice warm bed is? And why...am I whispering?"