Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers.
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Dr. Drakken: So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan...
Shego: Don't stop to tell her the plan!
Dr. Drakken: I'll handle this, Shego!
Shego: Yeah, all I know is, every time you stop to blab about your big plan, she wins!

Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

The Evil Overlord List, Rule 4

Your fat giant ninja probably could have killed me once every thirty seconds since he first saw me. I know that real honest-to-goodness knuckles to testicles action is important to you supervillain types, but come on, at some point you have to get practical. Get Tub Fist to kill me.

The entire reason we’re screwing around gathering up these heroes is because they will somehow (?) help us stop Lucian. But here he is, a few feet away and flammable.

Shamus Young on Fable II

This isn't the kind of man who ties you up in a cellar with just enough time for the mice to eat your ropes before the flood-waters rise. This is the kind of man who just kills you here and now.

Igneous CutwellMort

Chauvelin: Twelve picked men will be on the ramparts ready to seize him the moment he appears.
Collot d'Herbois: And to shoot him at sight, I hope.
Chauvelin: Only as a last resource, for the Englishman is powerful, and may cause our half-famished men a good deal of trouble. But I want him alive if possible...
d'Herbois: Why? A dead lion is safer than a live one any day.
Chauvelin: Oh! we'll kill him right enough, citizen. I pray you have no fear. I hold a weapon ready for that meddlesome Scarlet Pimpernel which will be a thousand times more deadly and more effectual than a chance shot, or even the guillotine.
d'Herbois: What weapon is that, Citizen Chauvelin?
Chauvelin: Dishonour and ridicule!
d'Herbois: Bah!

The Elusive Pimpernel, Chapter 24

(On Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever): "[the villain] has obtained a miniaturized robot so small it can float in the bloodstream and cause strokes and heart attacks. At one point in the movie, a man who will remain nameless is injected with one of these devices by a dart gun, and it kills him. All very well, but consider for a moment the problem of cost overruns in these times of economic uncertainty. A miniaturized assassination robot small enough to slip through the bloodstream would cost how much? Millions? And it is delivered by dart? How's this for an idea: use a poison dart, and spend the surplus on school lunches."

Roger Ebert in his review

The Joker: You're not going to leave him like this, are you?
Lex Luthor: Why?
Joker: Hel-lo? He's still alive!
Luthor: And he's going to stay that way until I say we don't need him anymore.
Joker: Lex, Lex, take it from someone who knows: (whispered) don't wait, do it now.
Luthor: You don't like my decisions? Leave.
Joker: (Walking off) And they say I'm crazy...

Justice League -- Injustice For All (part 2)

"Look, if you're going through this much trouble to the point of trying to kill them, just come at them with a gun! You're not exactly dealing with Mensa members here, especially since they're completely oblivious to the sounds of knives colliding with things and glass shattering!"

Linkara on the murder attempts on the California Raisins.

"[Anakin and Obi-Wan] start charging down the corridors, cleaving their way to the elevators, and eventually bumble directly into an ambush, where a half-dozen droids have them dead-to-rights at gunpoint. Incredibly, instead of shooting them dead where they stand, the droids stand there dumbly while the Jedi spin around and decapitate the lot of them. What the hell just happened? You're telling me that droids missed the opportunity to just waste them? I really can't take this. This is the fearsome threat that has the Republic on the defensive?"

Spoony in his review of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith.

"I'll take the stupid one who decided to threaten us rather than shoot us when he had the chance."

"Seriously. What would it take to get these guys to shoot?"

Riff Trax on the SWAT Team from The Dark Knight.

One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left.
[Tuco kills him with a hidden gun]
Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

(Family watching a Western Movie with a knock out brawl)
Son: They know they have guns, right?

—DVR commercial

Steve: "Why don't you just shoot him and fuck all this?"
Bishop: "Good judgement comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment."

The Mechanic (2011)

Marco: "Next time you have a chance to shoot someone, don't hesitate!"
McClane shoots and kills Marco
McClane: "Thanks for the advice, pal!"