Yogscast Minecraft Series/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


For examples related to the Yogscast outside of Minecraft, go here.

Main Story

  • Any time a Creeper is found following someone. Especially when it explodes.
  • Simon: (as Peculier): Oh here have some milk! :D Welcome to Terrorvale!
  • In one of their early confrontations with Israphel:

Simon: PAX!
Lewis: Pax? What's that mean?
Simon: LET'S BE FRIENDS!
Lewis: Okay. That's a good idea.
Simon: [whispering] I don't want us to be friends. I want to trick him and kill him.

    • Even funnier when your online universal name happens to be "Pax." It's a pleasant surprise.
  • When Simon is burning down the Yogcave, Lewis finds a random hole in the ground. When Lewis shows it to Simon, he promptly pushes him in.
    • Funnier in hindsight, as in later videos it's nearly always Lewis being pushed down into holes or dangerous areas.
    • What happens later is just as funny. Simon walks out his back door while Lewis cooks some pork, and walks right into a booby trap. One Big OMG later and...

Simon: Did the house blow up? What happened?
Lewis: Uh...I don't know. I was just cooking some pork, when I heard a scream. So I came running and now there is a big hole where our back door used to be.

  • Simon asking Israphel for A/S/L. Actually, any time Simon talks to Israphel in general.
    • Just Israphel? Try at least 50% of the time he talks to any of the NPCs!

"[The body in the coffin] must have spontaneously combusted!"
"I DIDN'T BURN ANYTHING"
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON YOU CRAZY BROAD"

  • Simon's first interaction with Skylord_Jasper:

Skylord_Jasper: GET OUT SIMPLETON
Simon: WHERE IS DRUGS

  • Four words: "worry not olod manfcgxn"
    • i shall destrotyr the op3erl
      • Are you drunk?
        • Should we trust him with a pick if he is?
  • Early in their Let's Play arc, Lewis notices a cow placed precariously on a ledge. Lewis later pushes the cow off and it dies. Simon then bursts into tears.
  • Simon attempts to deliver An Aesop during Minecraft Part 27: The Tunnel Run:

Simon: There's a lesson to be learned here, ladies and gents: if you love someone... if you love someone, just let them know, because you don't know when they might get kidnapped by an undead, demon-man, whatever he is, and taken away to his deep underground castle.

  • Old_Peculier: "The signal tower doesn't need to be that bright."
  • Simon relishing in his pyromania and burning down a pirate ship as Lewis watches from shore.
  • Sometimes, when the two try to cheat at a puzzle, Lewis will mess up and give Simon a wooden door instead of TNT.
  • "OLD WOMAN I DEMAND YOUR FINEST BACON!"
  • Pirate_Tinman playing a record in his butt cheeks.
  • The "Read note" signpost appearing in the main Shadow of Israphel series, even when there aren't any notes.
  • While searching for a map piece in Grimmjaw_Slugface's treasure vault with Pirate_Tinman, they have to cross a small bridge armed with an arrow trap. Simon, purely for laughs, set the trap off as Tinman was crossing. On the other side, he wordlessly walks up to Simon and punches him in the face.
  • About any time Fumblemore is around and tries to use his magic. The first meeting in episode 4 of season 3 is utterly hilarious.
    • "The mightiest of wizards in all of Minecraftia... Is he on the loo?"
    • That same meeting: Skylord_Lysander had given both heroes "temporary Skylord licenses" so they could access the wizard's tower. In less than three minutes, they both offer theirs to Fumblemore so he can wipe his ass with them.
  • SWAMPY, AWAAAAYYY!
  • Episode 23, while Simon and Lewis are preparing to enter Jock's "underwater ship".

Lewis: "Lets just head down the normal way."
Simon: "HUAAAAA--" *Cue Simon lunging off the top of the bay* "Guess what I just did."

  • In Episode 24 while Simon and Lewis are trying to escape from Jock_Fireblast's cave:

Simon: Good news is I've dug our way out. Bad news is we're going to drown.

  • In episode 26 of Shadow of Israphel, Simon ends up in Skylord_Jasper's bedroom, who had been established as a man of uncommon tastes.

Skylord_Jasper: "Oooh, Dwarf, might you try my new rope with me?"

    • All of 26 was a big stream of C Mo Fs, but this moment in particular:

Lewis: You know what's gonna have to happen Simon... You're gonna--
Simon: I'm gonna have to murder him with this axe?

  • In part 27 of Shadow of Israphel, Simon attempts to fly a plane in the lower decks of a boat. He destroys the plane and immediately ends up phasing through the wall AND the ceiling onto the next floor up.

Skylord_Lysander: I'll... be on the deck... don't break the laws of physics any more than you already have.

  • In the ending of part 27 and the beginning of part 28 of Shadow of Israphel, Lysander's grandfather ends up blowing up when Israphel's curse kills him. Simon's and Lewis's reaction is hilarious!

Simon: Ohhhhh... I'm going to be sick!

  • In episode 29 of Shadow of Israphel, the trio meets Um_Bongo again, and they free him from a hanging cage. He offers to go back with them across the series of Floating Platforms, claiming that he is "good jump". He immediately falls short of the first gap and plummets into the ocean.
    • "I good jump! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"
    • Shortly before, Simon fell into the ocean as well. There's just something about that loud scream, combined with him climbing out of Nubescu's pot.
  • In the Israphel special for Granny_Bacon's funeral, the corpse jumps up as a zombie right in the middle of the service, and attacks the mourners. After being stabbed to death again, the service continues as normal.
  • At the end of Shadow of Israphel Episode 31: Heroes! Take-a me with you!
  • Shadow of Israphel episode 32: Diggy Diggy Hole is banned in Stoneholm. Lewis reacts by throwing the record in the jukebox into the lava.

Knight_Peculier: "I like that song".

    • Even funnier if you had watched their 1.9 Prerelease Part 6 video about the new music discs beforehand, and Lewis sheepishly remarks that he regrets throwing away the record after hearing how good the new music was. (The video was released before Shadow of Israphel episode 32 despite being recorded later)
  • Simon's reaction to meeting a Silverfish.
  • During episode 33 of Shadow of Israphel, Lewis, Simon, and Knight_Peculier first come across loads of Silverfish, then encounter a giant zombie dwarf, and finally go on a giant minecart ride outside while getting shot at.

Knight_Peculier: "I'm too old for this!"

    • The capper: at the end of the ride the server crashes and both Lewis and Simon get stuck in their minecarts.

Simon: I'm stuck! Oh, the humanity!

  • In episode 11 of Survival Island, Old_Peculier mentions that the airship needs more wind to move. What follows is perhaps the best fart joke ever. The epic music playing only adds to it.

Simon: Fortunately I have been eating nothing but Jaffa Cakes for the last week! *brrrrrrrap*
Skylord_Lysander: I would appreciate it if you did not do that on my fair Celaeno.

  • The lowercase "help!" sign in the Survival Island map.
  • "I don't know, I don't think we should be here. Israphel's taint has been rubbed all over it."
  • In Episode 37, their repeated attempts to fly hot air balloons and climb a tower while placing ladders as they go.
  • Episode 38. Finding a dead body surrounded by blood? Scary. Picking up the "zombie arms" and legs and proceeding to hit each other with them and laugh at the noises? Funny.
    • Also, the epic return of Grizwald.

Adventure Maps

Simon: D'you think digging above is really the way to go, given that there's lava up there?
Lewis: Look—look, we're trapped underneath some fucking pyramid, we failed to get the diamond, it's been burnt by lava, you're wedged in the ground—this is a disaster. This is an absolute disaster! If anyone finds us when they're playing this custom map, like our entombed mummies, please just kill us.

    • And in the conclusion, Simon reading the "thanks for playing" message in-character as the Professor.

Thanks for playing! If you have any comments or feedback, I'd love to hear it! Please send it to me, professorgrizwald@gmail.com. No, no, chronobasher@gmail.com. That's chronobasher@gmail.com/lol.appletjavaapplet?=4972.387.php

    • In their Professor Grizwald map, Simon reads a note from said professor. The possibility of him being dead is brought up. Simon, in his Grizwald voice, improvises possibly the funniest (fake) letter in existance:

Simon, as Professor Grizwald: It appears that I have died! I am writing this note from beyond the grave! If you received it, I'm going to haunt you, you son of a bitch! PROFESSOR GRIZWALLLLLLD!

Lewis: Lovely man, isn't he?

  • In the sequel to the Professor Grizwald map, Simon going "skinny-dipping". And Lewis stealing his clothes.
  • In the last part of Professor Grizwald and the Redstone Torches, Simon yelling "JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN" at Lewis who, in his panic, managed to botch Simon's attempts to get out of a room rapidly filling with lava, twice in less than five seconds, by shoving him out of the way and then placing a random wool block in his way.

Lewis: WOOOAAA-oh.
Simon: WHAT?!

    • Same episode again. Simon takes FOREVER to get across said invisible bridge. It's entirely possible that Lewis did go grab a cup of tea while waiting for him.

Simon: WHY ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!

  • During the final part of the Four Towers map

Simon: There's usually a sweet sprot-sweet spot you can dance-*falls off the edge and dies*
Lewis: Oh!
Simon: Oh fuck.

  • The "Pharaoh's Curse" adventure map has a creeper bumping unexpectedly into Simon and Lewis and exploding. Not content in only destroying the immediate corridor, it also sets off a ton of hidden TNT (supposedly intended to deter cheating) that demolishes half the entire pyramid dungeon, prematurely ending the duo's quest. The duo's reaction is priceless.
  • In their golfing game, on hole 3 of the snowy zone, Lewis seriously messed up his first shot. Cue him immediately looking around to see if anybody noticed and then proceeding to halfheartedly try to cheat.
  • During the Return custom map, Simon and Lewis have several problems with minecarts, including Simon's getting stolen by a Zombie Pigman.
    • Also during the custom map is that Simon is reading notes, and Lewis turns away for a second. When he looks back, Simon is on fire, and reacting rather calmly about it.
    • Simon's impersonation of the Wizard Burgmund whale Horcrux as it dies. It makes sense in context, maybe.
    • Simon misunderstanding Lewis when he said that Toggle, the map creator "topped himself".
    • Then, while trying to blow up a pod with TNT, the duo is ordered to place the TNT block on a wool block, then exit the pod and place a lever at a specific point and flip it. Levers can be placed on the floor or on the wall, so this confused the two of them a bit when Simon placed the lever on the floor and flipped it. When nothing happened, Simon broke the lever and put it on the wall, trying again.

Simon: Has it made any difference? *entire pod blows up* WHOA! WHOA!

Lewis: Oh my god! 'Has it made any difference!'

*Beat, accompanied with slightly frenzied reactions*

Simon: Did it work? Did anything happen?

  • During the archery event of the Yog-olympics, the final target is one Lewis and Simon have to jump down a large hole to hit. When asked who will go first, Simon punches Lewis into the hole. Later, after the event, Lewis falls back into the hole. After Lewis teleports back out, Simon punches him back into the hole.
    • Lewis keeps forgetting during the Yog-olympics that he's red, not blue. This may double as Fridge Brilliance; he's so used to being the Blue Oni.
    • The ending of the Yog-olympics. BOOM! Followed by them trying to attack Dave.
  • Another from the Yoglympics, which requires some frame-by-frame pausing: After the Kayaking event, Simon finishes second, and his kayak lands square on the torch pedestal that burns when you finish first. As he gets out of it, he accidentally lands on Lewis's lit torch pedestal and sets himself on fire. In the background of such event, there's a small sign that reads "The staff is not responsible for any burning Honeydews."
  • In the Calmere Nightmare map, Simon reads a note really fast in Prof_Grizwold's voice.

Simon: *After reading a somewhat silly note and getting attacked by a spider* JESSSSSUS CHRIOST SPIDER!

    • The notes in general in part 2 are hilarious when delivered by Simon deliberately hamming up his already hammy Grizwald voice as much as possible. It's even Lampshaded:

Simon [As Grizwold]: ANCIENT DIETIEEES... ALTERNATE DIIIMENSIONS... [cracks and laughs] WIIIIIIIIIITCHCRAFT! [...] AT FIIIRST I THOUGHT THE APEEEARANCE OF THE LOCALS... [Simon looses it and drops the voice] That's way to over the top...

    • And later this gem:

Simon [As Grizwold]: ...MAKES ME THINK, WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS ADD A SECOND... JESUS CHRIST! SOMETHING JUST... [Simon starts laughing] dropped through the roof?!

  • The GLaFOSH voice in It's Better Together. "I'm trying to talk like GLaDOS..." "Well you're epically failing."
  • Four words: MY LITTLE PONY MOD.
    • A few extra: Pony_Peculier.
    • Thanks to using various technic packs installed, the Yogscast has a bit of a...problem identifying the differences between materials, leading to a lot of hilarious situations where they think they found diamonds...only to find out that it is nickelite instead.

Simon: "We're being trolled....by nickelite."
"Oooh, diamon-oh wait no, its nickelite. Trololololololo hahahaha!"

    • In Fumblepony is Missing, Fumblepony creates an oil drill near Appleloosa. In less than five minutes, Simon manages to flood the town with oil.
      • Even better is what Simon said. "I am literally worse then BP!"
    • Simon's response to being given beer by Fumblepony. *throws mug* "ANOTHER!"
  • Simon realizes something during Deep Space Turtle Chase.

Simon: We're on the surface of an alien planet, and you're wearing a red shirt.

Lewis: Oh FUCK.

    • A little later on, they actually manage to get flushed down a toilet, there they find a map with nothing but Captain Sparklez' (Map creator and voice actor) face and:

Captain Sparklez: Did...you...just...flush yourself...down...a toilet??

Honeydew: "Challenge 2, Run as fast as you can. Difficulty-" *TNT goes off*

  • Simon improvises while reading one of the notes.
  • Anytime they read out a spelling or grammar error in one of the notes.
  • This moment. Particularly Simon's bit.
  • In the first video for the RP map "The Curse of Sunny Springs", the Yogs start the video off explaining that it is raining in-game, as this was after the update that added weather effects. Simon begins reading the postcard from a character in the story, explaining the dire situation driving the plot. Said dire situation? A drought, because "it hasn't rained in months."
  • AAAAAH! BEEEES!
  • The fact that Testificate golf exists at all.
  • In the Star Wars map, the duo find a room with a bunch of Stormtrooper paintings. Lewis calls them sexy. Simon says "Stupid sexy Stormtroopers!"

Lewis: "Never press a red button."

Simon: Where is the red button?

Lewis: ...Crap.

  • In part 3 of The EDEN project map Simon keeps ignoring Lewis's advice and each time pays with his life.
  • In Survival Games 1, Simon and Duncan end up teaming up. Simon runs off, expecting Duncan to follow him, and gets mad when he can't find him. Switch to Duncan's video, and it turns out he actually was following Simon the whole time.
    • After Lewis loses, he pretends to be a creepy voice in Simon's head telling him to kill everyone.
    • After Sjin manages to kill off two players, almost everyone in their own videos speak of him as a rather dangerous foe. Meanwhile, in Sjin's own videos:

Sjin: [accidentally sets fire to himself] Oh no, I'm- I'm burning! Oh my God, no! Nohoho!
Mintyminute: Burning, what?
Sjin: I'm on fire, I'm on fire!

  • The increasingly Running Gag of Simon using multi-purpose TNT -- blowing up doors he couldn't open, blowing up puzzles he couldn't solve, building it as scaffolding to get higher, using it as bridges... And almost every time, the TNT ends up backfiring. Take, for example, the 1.8 Prerelease video with the Stronghold: It seems like Simon has learned his lesson about building TNT bridges directly above lava, but suddenly a creeper comes out of the darkness and blows up the bridge with Simon and Lewis on it.

Mods, Updates, and Other Things

  • While playing the Planetoids mod, Simon hands Lewis a piece of leather for soup, and then goes off on a tangent:

Simon: I'm not very good at cooking, so I'm not sure what you would typically put in soup. I mean, my method of making soup is, you know, "Open tin, pour contents in bowl, put bowl in microwave." Not even cooking it in a pan! Just the microwave.
Lewis: Directly from tin to bowl.
Simon: I mean, I did once try to cut out the bowl... but obviously that didn't go too well, putting a tin in the microwave.
Lewis: Streamlining it, yeah, I don't think that's really the best way to go...
Simon: I didn't even bother to open it, either. Um.
Lewis: Was that what caused the fire?
Simon: The fire.
Lewis: Yeah.
Simon: Of London?

    • Equally funny is what led to that conversation, Simon attempting to hide the only porkchop from Lewis.
    • Also from Planetoids, Simon and Lewis having an argument over which cow is ill enough to put down.

Simon: I'm just going to get some coal, and... warm myself up by the furnace.

  • Simon, dressed as Kirk, and Lewis, dressed as Spock, getting stuck in each other in the Star Trek custom map and proceeding to make slash jokes.
    • Simon's grand entrance into the bridge at the end. Involves explosion. Near the end of a tour of a built-to-scale replica of the USS Enterprise, Simon flees from two creepers -- letting them into the bridge and wrecking it.
    • Simon tunneling into a part of the ship and letting water outside.
  • The zeppelin mod spotlight had a lot of hilarious moments due to the sheer buggyness of the mod. The highlights were leaving part of Jasper's airship behind, flying a bit of a tower roof of Verigan's Hold, and then making one of the support towers for The Wall, from the roof to it's very deep foundation, float up and let it just fly around bumping into everything.
  • In the PAX teleconference panel video, Simon builds a simple wooden house to show off how Minecraft works, then installs a fire by lighting some netherrack in the middle. Some things never change.
  • While showing off the leaked 1.8 pre-release, Simon shows up in a suit. When Lewis finds the time to ask why, this occurs:

Simon: I want people to have this image of me as this dapper chap.
Lewis: You look like a used car salesman!
Simon: HOW RUDE!

Simon: I was never here! I was on TV with the TV playing on the TV!

  • The Hack/Mine mod review brings us Simon's fear of Dire Chickens, of all things. Not to mention the Creeper snake is named the ROFLconda. And one starts out the video.
  • The Battlegear mod brings us Lewis getting some revenge on an adventure map they had trouble with before.
  • Minecraft on the 360: Derpy squids! And of course "When I grow up, I want to be a potato."
  • Simon gets his hands on a rotator and sliding block in the ugocraft spotlight, and proceeds to prove in five different ways that Freud Was Right.
    • Lewis referring to them as "winkies".
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