You Need to Get Laid/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

"Who makes all these?"
"I do! *clang!* And I practice with them *clang!* three hours a day *clang!*!"

"You need to find yourself a girl, mate."
—Pirates of the Caribbean

Kochanski: Rimmer?
Rimmer: Yes Ma'am?
Kochanski: Have sex with someone, and that's an order.
Rimmer: Yes Ma'am, right away.

Lister: (Handing Rimmer a business card) Here, ring this number, say I sent you, tell them it's an emergency.
—Red Dwarf
"That Kaiba kid needs to get laid."
—Many, many people, Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series
"Ninety-nine percent of the trouble in the world is caused by unmarried men."
—Schulz, Duel of Honor
"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
—Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind
"You don't have any place to channel all that adolescent frustration boiling inside you. Isn't that what's really fueling all this impulsive behaviour? Snap out of it. Go find yourself a good-looking guy and let him walk you home from school. Heck, go see a movie with him on Sunday or something."
—Kyon, Haruhi Suzumiya
"I didn't come here to fight you... but if it's some, er, one-on-one you're looking for, then I hear you have a great red light district."
—Maeda Keiji, Sengoku Basara
"Still, a man like you and it's been four years. I have immense personal respect for you, wizard, but that's just....sad."
—Lara Raith, White Night

Lady Macbeth: My plan will work! Macbeth just needs to screw his courage to his sticking place!
Sassy Gay Friend: No. He needs to screw his courage to your sticking place.

Lady Macbeth: (gasps)

Sassy Gay Friend: Yeah. I said it. Because, sister, you need a hobby or an orgasm, stat.
—Sassy Gay Friend: Macbeth

Jubilee: I mean, even if Scott and Jean have been having sex all this time, I don’t see how it hurts anybody. Hell, I can see some benefits to it!
Bobby: Yeah, maybe that was why they were so uptight to begin with! They just needed to get laid!

  1. 228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW 2.
    —1975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
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