You Wouldn't Believe Me If I Told You/Quotes

Ravirn: If I tell you, there's absolutely no way you're going to believe me.
Eris: I don't believe you.
Ravirn: What did I just tell you?
Eris: That I wouldn't believe you. But that's got nothing to do with my not believing you.
Ravirn: I know that, because I know why you don't believe me.

Melchior: (*facepalm*) I don't believe this.

—WebMage

Rufus: You're not going to believe this.

—So Random, right before saying something that's completely ridiculous, but ultimately turns out to be true.