Improbable Weapon User/Quotes

TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow
TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves
CT: D --> Yes

—Homestuck

"I would remind you that [Yuna's] current protectors are armed with a volley ball and a stuffed animal."

—The Spoony Experiment on Final Fantasy X

Edward Van Helgen: Choose your weapon.
Guybrush: I choose the banjo.
Edward Van Helgen: I accept.
Guybrush: ...You do?

—The Curse of Monkey Island

I'm not usually one for bragging, but some things just have to be made known: I just stabbed someone with hot mashed potatoes. Bow taken.

—Johnny C.'s Twitter

Roxas, that's a stick.

—Xion, Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days

"Don't try to stop me! I've got gold statuettes and I am not afraid to use them!"

—Heather, Total Drama Revenge of the Island, "Up, Up And Away In My Pitiful Balloon"