El Goonish Shive/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


Lots of these.

Jerry: <speechless>
Grace: Have I mentioned I'm part space alien?

Grace: Did the curse involve her outfit?

Susan: I don't care! Stop texting me! It costs both of us money every time!
BZZ BZZ
Ellen: My bad.

Why are you crying, Dr. Physics Professor?
I... I'm not sure...

    • And, a few comics later...

The professor's crying again.
He must be passionate about physics.
I'm inspired!

Ellen: E-eh-ugh...

Elliot: I fail at perversion.
Ellen: Need some tips?

"No, Agent Wolf, I have somehow forgotten that there was a dimension-hopping walrus!"
"Right. Well, there was this dimension-hopping walrus..."
<Face Palm>

Greg: Are you okay?
CLB: I'm fine! I tripped!
Grace: But you were sitting.
CLB: Yes I was. Sorry, mistress. Ma'am. Shade Tail.

Melissa: (as Heidi rants in the background) Personality shift?
Justin: Um, yeah.
Melissa: So which is the real--
Justin: Not this one.

Heidi: Ooh! I should interview for the job in this form! It has so much energy and can-do spirit!
Ellen: It also has the judgement of a chipmunk.
Heidi: Chipmunks have excellent judgement! They prepare for winter and everything.

Girl3: I can't believe he's gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just upset that I can't ask him out.

Girl1: Don't you already have a boyfriend?

Girl3: Of course I do. He's right here.

Boyfriend: I am less than happy right now.

Verrukt: This is serious, young lady. This Rebel Without a Cause routine can only end badly for you.
Susan: I have a cause!
Verrukt: That's beside the point. If you keep up this hooliganism all you'll have to show for it is greased up hair, a motorcycle gang and a leather jacket with an emblem on the back that looks cool but completely contradicts your beliefs without your even realising it because you'll be too busy being a hooligan to comprehend its actual meaning!
Susan: What the hell are you talking about?
Verrukt: And that's another demerit for swearing. You'll never become a productive member of society at this rate. And with that, I'm off to save more students from themselves!
Susan: Classes ended at least twenty minutes ago.
Verrukt: Then I'm off to enjoy wholesome late afternoon sitcoms on cable!
Susan: ...How has that man not been fired yet?

  • "I'M TOO YOUNG AND TOO MALE TO BE THE MOTHER OF A SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD FEMALE ME!!!"
  • Elliot discovering his goth female Alter Ego.
  • "The Princess Bride sucked." Just look at the reaction they have and the expression Susan's got at the same time.
  • Faces made after the Pancake Mount Doom.
    • Plus, look at the pictures near Grace's. They're all chubby people.
  • MINE..
  • Arthur apparently tried to deport Raven to Russia.

Mr. Verres: To be fair, you did enter the country on falsified information.
Raven: The only thing I lied about was my age, and I'm not from Russia.

  • GRACE! Raven's expression in the fifth panel is priceless. Plus, in the commentary, "Grace has a knack for these sort of revelations, doesn't she?"
  • The following... screaming conversation:

Random student: So, like, these two guys like me, and one of them is really nice, and the other's kind of a jerk, but they're both hot-
Raven: Out! To your next class! Classroom temporarily closed, date the nice one, out!
Random student: But the jerk is so hot...

Raven: That is not how it went.
Grace: And then I like to pretend you bought us apology ice cream, but you totally didn't.

  • When Noah is told that Grace is on her way over to his and Raven's house, he manages to go from sitting on the couch in a stable position to... this. "I tripped!"

Noah: I have been told I could make straight men see rainbows.

  • Nanase's little sister is excited about her relationship with Ellen, and declares that she'll date girls when she's older too. Nanase says that's not something someone can just decide, and when Akiko presses the issue, she can't think of a good way to explain to her eight-year-old sister. Then this happens:

Akiko: "Am I going to have to look this up on the internet?" *Dramatic Thunder*
Nanase: "NO! HECK NO!"

Susan's Logic: Okay then. It's unanimous: We feel terrible. Have fun with that, ego.

Sarah: That works.

Sarah: And you were okay with looking like Grace for fifteen hours.

Tedd: Oh, like that's the least bit shocking.

  • "I'm eighteen! I'm a major!" "Oh, like that makes you an adult." "Legally, it does. You can do all sorts of things with me!" "You shouldn't say it like- look."
  • Susan and Justin got Grace a plant for her birthday. Jeremy was pleased.

Tedd: I think I've figured out what kind of plant it is...

Eliott: Hell yeah! Area 51 fact sheets!
Mr. Verres: Forget you ever saw that!
Tedd: No way! Those are so going online later!

Owl: HOOT.
Hedge: GET OFF OF ME!