View source for Kingdom of Loathing

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"Hi, I'm all over All The Tropes."

''[[An Adventurer Is You]]!''

'''''The Kingdom of Loathing''''' (2003) is a browser-based [[Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game|MMORPG]] by Zack "Jick" Johnson and Josh "Mr. Skullhead" Nite. The overarching plot of the game, such as it is, involves defeating the aptly-named Naughty Sorceress, who has imprisoned the beloved ruler of the Kingdom, King Ralph XI, in a prism (this is known in-game as his being [[Just for Pun|"imprismed"]]). But first you have to level up your character through the usual rigmarole of [[Fetch Quest|Fetch Quests]], monster hunting, and [[Level Grinding]]. There are several things that make this game fairly unique among MMORPGs, however:
# It is completely free, though donations are accepted, appreciated, and encouraged by the offering of a powerful accessory for a ten-dollar donation, which in turn can be traded for a powerful "item of the month", which is only available for a limited time, but it can also be bought from other players for in-game currency.
# The game's graphics consist almost entirely of [[Stylistic Suck|stick figures and other crude black-and-white drawings]].
# The game possesses a sense of humor that is at times snarky, scathingly satirical, and loaded with pop culture references, including parodies of other RPGs. For example, the Dungeons of Doom are an homage to the game [[Nethack]], while another zone is the "Penultimate Fantasy Airship", with monsters that take the piss out of [[Square Enix]] games (mainly [[Final Fantasy VII]] and [[Dragon Quest]]).

The last one is the biggest draw of the game for many. For example, the tutorial quest involves doing tasks for a talking bird known as the (wait for it) [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Toot Oriole]]. "''Meat''" is the [[Global Currency|currency of the realm]], simultaneously parodying and justifying the RPG tradition of [[Money Spider|monsters dropping money when defeated]]. Monsters include not only such traditional fantasy fare as goblins, gnolls, and vampires, but also hippies, Orcish frat boys, Ninja Snowmen, ASCII smileys, and zmobies (which are like zombies, except they were misspelled by a magical accident) and a late-game quest involves a long and complex search for a device literally called the Holy [[MacGuffin]]. Then there's the six character classes:
* Seal Clubbers, barbarians who "hail from [[Grim Up North|the frigid Northlands]], because [[Lampshade Hanging|one character class always hails from the frigid Northlands]]" and who can summon seals so they can club them. Can learn to craft advanced weapons and [[Dual Wield]].
* Turtle Tamers, "beast masters" who possess a variety of buffs, and skills that enable them to use their armor as weapons. Can learn to craft advanced armor.
* Pastamancers, spellcaster/chefs who attack with spells like "Ravioli Shurikens" and "Cannelloni Cannon", summon food-themed spirit entities, and can learn to prepare delicious noodle dishes.
* Saucerors, spellcasters who fight by conjuring blasts of hot and cold sauces. They're also able to conjure "saucespheres" and brew potions to buff themselves (or others).
* Disco Bandits, rogues known as much for their dancing skills as for their cunning. They are the only class specializing in booze, capable of learning the Advanced, Superhuman, and Salacious Cocktailcrafting skills.
* Accordion Thieves, bards who can cast an astounding variety of buffs on themselves and others by playing songs (like "the Moxious Madrigal" and "the Power Ballad of the [[Aerosmith|Arrowsmith]]") on their ill-gotten instruments.

The game mechanics revolve around three stats: Muscle (the primary stat of Seal Clubbers and Turtle Tamers, boosts HP, melee skill and weapon damage), Mysticality (the primary stat of Pastamancers and Saucerors, boosts [[Mana|MP]] and spell power), and Moxie (the primary stat of Disco Bandits and Accordion Thieves, boosts evasion, damage reduction and ranged skill). Players get a number of "turns" each day, called "Adventures", and can get more turns through food and booze. Players level up their character by earning experience points (in the form of "sub-stat" points) as they adventure, either from slaying monsters, from certain non-combat adventures, or again from eating and drinking. One can also gather a variety of helpful monsters known as "familiars", which do everything from fighting to healing you to helping you get more experience, meat, or items from monsters, to absolutely nothing, to [[Self-Imposed Challenge|increasing the challenge of the game by hindering you constantly]].

We could go on (and on and on and on), but why not [http://kingdomofloathing.com experience it for yourself]?

{{tropenamer}}
* [[An Adventurer Is You]]!
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]
* [[Noob Cave]]

{{tropelist}}
* [[Abnormal Ammo]]: Pastamancers can cast spells that hit enemies with things like [[Creepy Child|creepy little girls]], [[Kill It with Ice|Ex-girlfriends]], or [[Brown Note|foul language.]]
** The Gift-A-Pult allows you to fire any Gift item (something that cannot be bought or sold in the mall). Designer Handbags, Valentine's Day Gifts and ''other'' Gift-A-Pults are the strongest ammo.
** Some of the "ordinary" (loosest possible sense of the word) weapons have this as well. To cite one example, you can build a crossbow which fires ghuolash, which is [[Edible Ammunition|food]] (that is, if you're willing to eat [[I Ate What?|zombie flesh]].)
* [[Absurdly Spacious Sewer]]: Hobopolis.
* [[Alliteration]]: The three stats are '''M'''uscle, '''M'''ysticality, and '''M'''oxie. Your skill points are called "MP" regardless of what your main stat is, but the meaning changes--Muscularity Points, Mana Points, or Mojo Points.
* [[Aerith and Bob]]: Infernal Rackets, a band playing at Hey Deze arena, comprises Bognort, Stinkface, Flargwurm, and Jim.
* [[The Aggressive Drug Dealer]]: A Suspicious-Looking Guy.
** Also, [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Mind_the_Fine_Print this Bad Moon guy].
* [[Alien Invasion]]: The "Bugbear Invasion" challenge path.
* [[All-Natural Gem Polish]]: The rock candy players could mine during the 2011 Crimbo event was [[Lampshade Hanging|"already in convenient ingot form"]].
* [[Aluminium Christmas Trees]]: It really ''is'' possible to mine for asbestos, despite appearing in an improbable fantasy mine in which the other ores are chrome and linoleum. It does not come in huge ore chunks, though.
** Jick has admitted that he didn't know asbestos and chrome where mined when he wrote it.
** The real stuff probably wasn't made by subjecting fire-breathing dragons to the same process that got oil out of dinosaurs, though.
* [[Exclusively Evil]]: Seals.
** There's one seal that you can take and raise as a familiar, but it's still viciously violent, just directed at your enemies instead. So at least they're loyal.
** Bees. They suck. The Guy Made of Bees is even worse.
* [[American Gothic Couple]]: An enemy in the Haunted Gallery.
* [[An Axe to Grind]]: The only weapon you will be able to use in an Avatar of Boris run is [[I Call It Vera|Trusty]], a two-handed axe.
* [[And I Must Scream]]: Ed the Undying ''[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|is]]''. And you leave him with wounds that immobilize him...
* [[And Your Reward Is Edible]]: Food and booze are common quest rewards, or bonus things you end up getting while doing quests. [[The Generic Guy|Bart Ender, owner of the Typical Tavern]], gives you some of his tavern's trademark booze [[Fridge Logic|(which the tavern doesn't normally provide)]] for getting rats out of his cellar.
* [[And Your Reward Is Clothes]]: Even more common than food/booze rewards. Completing the entire game in [[Self-Imposed Challenge|hardcore mode]] as certain classes earns you a steel hat or [[Impossibly Cool Clothes|steel pants]]. [[Up to Eleven|Even harder completions]] get you hats/pants made out of plexiglass or [[Fire and Brimstone Hell|brimstone]].
* [[Animesque]]: the battle with Yakisoba the Executioner, complete with a swirl of [[Cherry Blossoms]] and [[The Thing That Goes Donk]] when he shows up, as well as [[Motion Lines]] and intense music ([[Stylistic Suck|which the character can hear and see, but the player can't]]) when he attacks you.
** [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Chori_Zo Chori Zo.]
* [[Another Dimension]]: The 8-Bit Realm, in which one accesses with the Continuum Transfunctioner accessory, and fights, among other things, [[Super Mario Bros.|Goombas]] and [[The Legend of Zelda|Octoroks]].
* [[Animal Wrongs Group]]: The [[Fun with Acronyms|CARNIVORE operative]], encountered during the Hippy war quest, is a member. The operative drops a button that [[Take That|annoys enemies, causing them to hit you harder]]. They also appeared during Crimbo 2009, protesting a puppy-related Mall of Loathing promo... only to have one of their number similarly and painfully used the next day.
* [[Animated Armor]]: The "empty suit of armor" enemy.
* [[Anti-Poopsocking]]: You only get a limited number of adventures per day, normally 40, though there are many ways to increase this. Furthermore, unused adventures naturally accumulate up to 200, thereby removing most of the incentive for playing every single day.
** However, your stomach/liver/spleen levels get reset every day, and these are the things to give you extra adventures; if you don't play every day you only get the extra rollover adventures, possibly missing on hundreds from a single day.
** There are also abilities and machines that players may want to use as much as possible that "recharge" daily.
* [[Arc Number]]: The number 11 appears [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/11 all over the place]. It's ridiculous; it's not even funny.<ref>It is a reference to the song "Time Zones" by Negativland.</ref>
** Also, 37. [[View Askewniverse|In a row.]]
** And there's also the fairly well-hidden joke about the number 23. {{color|white|FNORD}}
* [[Arm Cannon]]: The Armgun, gained from someone who is definitely ''not'' [[Final Fantasy VII|Barett]]. [[Squick|His severed forearm is still attached.]]
* [[Ars Goetia]]: Azazel is one of your quest givers. {{spoiler|He has crossdressing tendencies and is slightly creepy.}}
* [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking]]: The innermost circle of Hey Deze: "Given the high rates of murder, armed robbery, and jaywalking, it's the hottest piece of real estate in Hey Deze (which is saying a lot for a place composed primarily of brimstone and magma)."
** The message given when first entering Azazel's Temple:
{{quote|It's your basic evil hellish demon dwelling: the decorative motifs include blood, pulsating skin, flames, and the occasional throw rug to add some visual interest.}}
* [[Ascended Meme]]: A [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=182621 silly forum thread] has one player complaining about how one non-combat adventure involving a hippo ballet does not contain an actual picture of a hippo in a tutu. In the next KoL convention, [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hippo_Ballerina this familiar] was being sold. Also, Jick and Mr.Skullhead put tutus on their forum avatars.
* [[Ass Kicks You]]: You can wear an asshat (made of two bum cheeks). There's a headbutt attack. Go figure.
** Since Crimbo 2010, two new possible monsters have graced the kingdom, along with a photocopier to help provide them. [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Your_butt Your butt] and [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Somebody_else%27s_butt somebody else's butt].
** On [[April Fools' Day]] 2011, the butts of several of the developers showed up as enemies, and dropped special items [[Squick|(no, not that. Not that either.)]]
* [[Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever]]: ''You'', the adventurer, can pick a fight with ''[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Whole_Kingdom the entire Kingdom]''! Unfortunately, it's too tough to be defeated (everything deals exactly 1 damage to it) and too weak to defeat you (it can only hit you if you have less than 8 Moxie, which is unlikely, or it criticals, which deals only 1 damage). People are, [[Lord British Postulate|of course]], ''trying'' to figure out how to kill it, but nobody has done it yet.
** There's even a few strategies that should work. Of course, they require ''huge'' amounts of one-time items.
* [[Awesome but Impractical]]: The ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon. You have no idea how to use it, but it looks totally badass.
** Becomes practical if you're wearing the Clockwork Apparatus outfit. The Apparatus has random beneficial effects that trigger on (and replace) fumbled attacks, and the ninja weapon has the highest fumble chance of any equipment (tied with the vibrating cyborg knife, which is no longer available) and also triples the chance of criticals (with the best weapons granting five times the chance). Also, it means you're a clockwork ninja, which is just ''freaking awesome.'' To throw it over the top, one of the required parts of the outfit is a clockwork ''[[Badass Longcoat]].''
* [[Background Magic Field]]: Mentioned once or twice.
* [[Badass Boast]]:
** Kinda parodied when you fight {{spoiler|Ed the Undying}}.
** In the final boss fight:
{{quote|"Behold my true form, adventurer, and behold it well, for it is the last thing you will ever behold!" }}
* [[Bait and Switch Boss]]: If you choose to play a 'Bees Hate You' run, {{spoiler|the Naughty Sorceress' sausage form is killed by the Guy Made of Bees, a [[Bonus Boss]] in normal runs.}}
* [[Baleful Polymorph]]: CLEESH turns your enemy into a frog, newt, or other small amphibian.
* [[Bare-Fisted Monk]]: Some Disco Bandits build on their existing [[Dance Battler]] style with the optional skill "Kung Fu Hustler", which offers a set of progressive bonuses for fighting without anything equipped in the hands. When combined with their other skills and "combat items" (weaponlike and used from inventory), this makes regular weapons unnecessary.
** "Way of the Surprising Fist" is a challenge path, where one cannot wield any weapons; gains martial skills from certain areas, and money drops are extremely cut back due to a vow of poverty.
* [[Battle in the Rain]]: Played for laughs and lampshaded during 'The Last Stand,' a mission which only triggers [[Guide Dang It|under very specific circumstances]].
* [[Back-Alley Doctor]]: "Under the Knife" in the obviously-named Sleazy Back Alley is how you can [[Gender Bender|change genders]] in-run.
* [[Beastly Bloodsports]]: There is an adventure in the [[South of the Border]] area where you can bet on a cockfight -- or refuse in disgust: "This flagrant display of cruelty to living creatures disgusts you. [[Hypocritical Humor|You decide to head back to the Icy Peak and eviscerate some more Yetis.]]"
* [[Bee-Bee Gun]]: The Guy Made Of Bees, from a spooooky tale, is summoned Bloody Mary style in [[Big Boo's Haunt|Spookyraven Manor's]] Bathroom. He has approximately the same strength as the monsters in The Naughty Sorceress' Tower, and is killed the same way with a specific item. It is [[Lord British Postulate|possible, albeit extremely difficult]], to kill him in normal combat.
** Simply, the last guy who beat him without the specific item was a Lvl. 117 Pastamancer. It takes maybe 2 years to get to level 100+, unless leveling up is the only thing you care about.
*** Power creep moves on, and now it's possible to kill most of the Gimmick Kill bosses with one donation item and a little bit of [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showthread.php?t=183785 know how].
*** It's now possible for ''any'' player with enough patience using Way of the Surprising Fist skills.
* [[BFS]]: The Ridiculously Huge Sword that's dropped by someone who is definitely not Cloud. It's a ''three'' handed weapon.
* [[Big Bad]]: The Naughty Sorceress.
* [[Big Boo's Haunt]]: three, the Defiled Crypt, Misspelled Cematary, and [[Haunted House|Spookyraven Manor]]
** The Haunted Sorority House 2011 Halloween event.
* [[Big Eater]]: Everyone becomes this during the Feast of Boris, gaining doubled eating capacity for the day. Players on the Avatar of Boris path are Big Eaters every day and have numerous eating-related skills, but they also [[Can't Hold His Liquor|get drunk very quickly]].
* [[Bigger Than Jesus]]: One quest sees players have to advertise for a band by pasting fliers to monsters. One of the messages you can get if you go back to the concert arena before you're done advertising says that the band has become "more popular than [[Incredibly Lame Pun|cheeses]]."
* [[Big No]]: "'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!' you shout, raising your arms to the sky."
* [[Big Red Devil]]: Imps.
* [[Bilingual Bonus]]: When you cause a [[Disaster Dominoes]] accident in the office in the Dwarves' factory complex, you end up staring at a file-folder with "ピタゴラスイッチ" written on it. The character assumes it's Dwarvish for "you've just made a hell of a mess", but it's actually Japanese for "[[Pythagora Switch]]", which is their term for a [[Rube Goldberg Device]].
* [[Bindle Stick]]: These drop from hobos in Hobopolis. There are 5 types, one for each element. (And one holiday-event one. And tiny one for your Hobo Monkey.)
* [[Bio Augmentation]]: the Unstable DNA item, which, when drunk, gives the status buff "Yuletide Mutations", which buffs all stats + 50%, the damage of the "Mutant Coture" armor and the potency of "Consume Burrowgrub" for 10 adventures. Unstable DNA is also integral in making the "Pair of Ragged Claws" familiar and the "Burrowgrub Hive" furnishing.
** There is also the [[Gremlins|Gremlin Mutagen]] and the Glowing Syringe ([[Shout-Out|obtained from a big monster in a diving suit with a creepy little girl familiar, natch]]) that "[[BioShock (series)|Biologically Shocks]]" your DNA.
* [[Bland-Name Product]]: Many examples. BRICKO bricks, Willer beer, and a Red Minotaur energy drink are among them.
* [[Bonus Boss]]: Baron Von Ratsworth, the "Ultra-Rare" monsters that drop the aptly-named [[Captain Obvious|Ultra-Rare items]], Hodgman the Hoboverlord and his Hobopolis Lieutenants, the Mother Slime, the Guy Made of Bees, the list goes on.
* [[Bonus Dungeon]]: Fernswarthy's Basement (infinite in depth; but with special rewards at every 100 levels up to level 500), the various (clan-member-only) raid dungeons, and The Sea (which is only accessible after acquiring the scuba gear in the final dungeon).
** Some dungeons, such as the Palindome (where everything is a palindrome) and Spookyraven Manor (especially the top floor) were optional, before NS13 made them part of the new quests.
* [[Books That Bite]]: One of the types of enemy found in Spookyraven Manor's Haunted Library.
* [[Booze-Based Buff]]: Booze, along with food, is one of the ways to gain more adventures per day.
* [[Bottomless Bladder]] / [[Nobody Poops]]: Lampshaded at [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/No_Privacy The Road to the White Citadel], as well as [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/You_Look_Flushed The Haunted Bathroom (Bad Moon only)].
* [[Bow Ties Are Cool]]: There's [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Mafia_bow_tie lots] [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Polka-dot_bow_tie of] [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tasteful_black_bow_tie wearable] [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hodgman%27s_bow_tie bow] [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gray_bow_tie tie] [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Farfalle_bow_tie items.] Each bowtie's description claims bowties are [[Zig-Zagging Trope|uncool, cool, or something else entirely.]] Plus there's a [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Bow_Tie_Bat bow tie familiar-oid.]
* [[Bragging Rights Reward]]: Pretty much all the Ascension rewards, though the Brimstone items - especially the Bunker - in particular, being some of the most powerful items in the game.
** The Slime and Hobo rewards as well, especially Hodgman's items, which require a very, very speedy run through Hobopolis be done in order to get some of them.
** Trophies are completely useless except for showing them off, and not only do they cost meat, but qualifying for one often requires significant expenditure of effort.
* [[Brain Bleach]]: the "seedy Photocopy" advertising slime porn shows gives you a headache.
** South of the Border's semi-rare gives an item that makes you so offended sleaze is weakened against you. {{spoiler|Donkey flipbook. Yeah. (If you don't know what a donkey show or a Tijuana bible is... don't ask.)}}
* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]]: a recurring joke format. "He notices how dirty you are and decides to give you the full treatment - deep exfoliation, sea-salt scrub, sucking chest wound -- wait, what was that last one?"
* [[Breakable Weapons]]: The Antique set are the first max-power gear you see, but they slow you down and break after a while. The Tome Of Sugar Shummoning can also create temporary equipment that only lasts for 30 rounds, after which it breaks and you can eat the pieces.
** And the X-37 multipurpose gun (think ''[[The Fifth Element]]''), as sooner or later you'll notice and push the blinking red button.
* [[Bribing Your Way to Victory]]: A $10 donation earns you a "Mr. Accessory", which gives you a significant boost to your stats, but can also be traded in at "Mr. Store" for extra-powerful special items or familiars.
** Donating $10 Canadian earns you a "Mr. Eh?" instead of "Mr. A." Once upon a time, the item was slightly less powerful than Mr. A--in fact, it fluctuated with the Canadian:American exchange rate, as a humorous [[Take That]] on the value of Canadian money, but [[Overused Running Gag|the joke wore thin]], and now the only difference is that Mr. Eh? can't be used at Mr. Store.
** The Mr. Store items are unequippable/unusable in Hardcore, however.
** Magic-Spellbook-type Items Of The Month and Familiars Of The Month ''are'' usable in HC, however, except in [[Nintendo Hard|Bad Moon]]. In fact, several of these are considered necessary if you want to be "optimal" (finishing an ascension in less than a week). A few of the top-tier Familiars and Tomes are: He-Boulder (can force an enemy to drop all of its potential drops), Llama Lama, Infant Sandworm, Green Pixie, Rogue Programme, Pair of Stomping Boots (easily obtain otherwise rare turn generating spleen items, as well as unlocking new areas), Frumious Bandersnatch (increase XP and improves combat skills), Bugged Bugbear (massive XP boosts and other benefits), Tome of Sugar Shummoning, Tome of Clip Art (powerful equipment), Tome of Scratch n' Sniff Sticker Summoning (makes a sword or crossbow which can recieve powerful enchantments), and Tome of Snowcone Summoning (powerful buffs).
** Also, if you have the meat for it, you can buy various items needed for a quest at the Mall of Loathing without taking the trouble of actually doing the quest. (Unless you're in Hardcore mode, in which the mall, flea market, and your previous inventory are off-limits.)
* [[Brick Joke]]: As a moxie class, one of the tasks required to become a full-fledged guild member is to pickpocket Izzy the Lizard's wallet without him noticing. Later, after you do a task for him, he realizes he can't pay you because someone stole his wallet.
** On January 30, 2010, players could receive for the first time an adventure titled '''From Little Acorns...''', in which you plant an acorn from the evil Underworld Tree in the Arrrboretum. Fast forward to May 6, 2010, when you can get the adventure '''... Grow Unspeakable Horrors''', which gives the  {{spoiler|Underworld Bonsai Familiar}}
* [[Bridge]]: Played by the guards behind the light door.
* [[Buffy-Speak]]: A common source of humour. E.g. "Bones scatter across the deck like uh, something that scatters. Mice? I'll go with mice."
* [[But Thou Must!]]: When entering Felonia's cave, you have three choices:
{{quote|Enter the chamber
Enter the chamber (No Other Possibility)
Enter the chamber (Seriously). }}
* [[Butt Monkey]]: Part of your character's job description if he or she attempted to join [[Mega Corp|CRIMBCO]] ([[Propaganda Machine|your beloved, effective sponsor]] for [[Christmas Episode|Crimbo]] 2010).
* [[Call a Human a Meatbag]]
{{quote|'''[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gorgolok,_the_Infernal_Seal_(The_Nemesis%27_Lair) Gorgolok]''': "STUPID HUMAN! I KILL YOU MYSELF! MAKE YOU SQUEAL LIKE THE STUPID MONKEY YOU ARE!"}}
* [[Calling Your Attacks]]: Parodied in a hit message in a boss fight-
{{quote|"Wu Tang shouts 'Seven Demon!' and kicks you in the knee. 'Hey!' you say, 'you didn't finish the name of the attack!' 'It's the Seven Demon Kick You In the Knee While You're Waiting For Me To Finish the Name of the Attack," he says, and kicks you again. '}}
* [[Centipede's Dilemma]]: Played Straight in a miss message when fighting a "Swarm of Killer Bees".
{{quote|"They start to swarm you, but you give them a quick lesson in Aerodynamics, and they all fall to the ground."}}
* [[Chainmail Bikini]]: Lampshaded by the chainmail monokini.
{{quote|This is the bottom half of a chain-mail bikini. It'll completely protect you from injury, and by 'you' we mean 'your crotch and 40% of your backside.' Because, really, what else matters? }}
* [[Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys]]: There's a "French Slippers" item; equipping it causes your runaways to be always successful.
* [[Chef of Iron]]: Saucerors and Pastamancers with their food-flinging spells and cooking skill, although they have elements of [[Squishy Wizard]] too.
* [[Chekhov's Volcano]]: During the Nemesis Quest, your nemesis has a secret tropical island volcano lair. The volcano plays an important role.
* [[Chew Toy]]: Admiral Hagnk, proprietor of Hagnk's Ancestral Mini-Storage, once known as Hagnk's Mostly-Burned-Down-then-Hit-By-a-Chunk-of-a-Comet-[[Overly Long Gag|then-Flooded-by-the-Melting-Comet]] Ancestral Mini-Storage. It got better.
* [[Chez Restaurant]]: Chez Snootée in Little Canadia.
* [[Chronic Pet Killer]]: Stephen Spookyraven.
* [[Clingy Jealous Girl]]: The version of the Clingy Pirate that appears for male characters. (Females get a male version who's less jealous, more weepy and vaguely patronizing.)
* [[Clipped-Wing Angel]]: The Naughty Sorceress
* [[Clock Punk]]: All the Clockwork items. You can get a clockwork maid, clockwork armor (and weapons), and [[A Clockwork Orange (novel)|Clockwork Grapefruit]] familiar. Clockwork goodies are also needed for the MicroMagiMech and [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]] familiars.
* [[Cluster F-Bomb]]: 'Twas the day of Christmas and one player on the forums made the mistake of complaining about the holiday content. The devs didn't like it much. [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=3054767&postcount=76 Behold, the Skully Rant.], now [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Best_Game_Ever lampshaded in-game].
** Unlike many other games, the dev team interacts with their [[Unpleasable Fanbase]] with some frequency. The Crimbomination from Crimbo '08 was a last minute toss-in to address complaints about an anticlimactic ending. To sum up: if they feel the complainers have a point, they generally address it. If they feel they don't, we get... what we get in the link above.
* [[Combat Pragmatist]]: Disco Bandits use enemy weakening attacks in combat, which include suckerpunches, [[Eye Scream|eye pokes]], face-stabs, breaking your opponent's knees, and pretending to run away then attacking when your opponent lets down his guard.
* [[Combat Tentacles]]: The "Mutant Couture" outfit has two seperate sets; the "Parasitic Tentacles" pants and the "Parasitic Strangleworm" off-hand. The pants allow you to trip an enemy, and the off-hand allows you to throttle it.
* [[Commonplace Rare]]: '''Bananas''' are a limited-edition item?!? (They can be duplicated in [[Mad Scientist Laboratory|a certain lab]], but their original source is long gone, and the map that unlocks the lab is a limited item as well.) Don't ask about beets.
** The Dead Guy's Memento item gives you a bunch of extra adventures every day, and it ''seems'' easy enough to get: just combine a very common Dead Guy's Watch with a somewhat-rare, but affordable photograph item. The catch? Instead of gluing them together the normal way, you need to use a ''special piece of tape'' which you ''might'' get from a gambling game in a high-level dungeon (and nowhere else). It's a two-layered [[Commonplace Rare]]!
* [[Companion Cube]]: The [[Portal (series)|Bulky Buddy Box]] familiar, which [[Captain Obvious|does nothing.]] Pet Rocks, Toothsome Rocks, and Holiday Logs are similarly inactive. The latter two's descriptions [[Lampshade]] their uselessness.
* [[Conservation of Ninjutsu]]: Used on a game-wide scale with the Ragamuffin Imp familiar. Its strength is inversely proportional to the number of people currently armed with one. If few people are using it, it's extremely powerful in combat (potentially as strong as 100 saber-toothed limes), but it gets weaker and weaker as more and more people use it.
** When it was first introduced, the power was determined by how many existed in the universe. Acquiring one required being able to solve a fiendishly difficult puzzle... until the answer became common knowledge (despite explicit instructions of "do not spoil this"), at which point everyone and their mother got one, rendering them useless (1 point of hot damage!) until the rules were changed.
* [[Continuity Lock Out]]: It takes a ''really'' long time to get up to speed, let alone figure out how to effectively ''play'' the thing.
* [[Continuity Nod]]: [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Nearby_Plains_in_the_Distant_Past The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past] is loaded with nods to the areas that are normally found in the Nearby Plains and the bosses found in those areas...and at least one boss ''not'' found in the Nearby Plains. {{spoiler|That schoolgirl learning magic from Fernswarthy? Yep, it's the Naughty Sorceress herself.}}
* [[Convection, Schmonvection]]: You fight your Nemesis in the heart of a volcano. Summed up nicely:
{{quote|Soon, the cavern branches into a smooth, almost glassy-surfaced tunnel -- obviously an ancient lava tube. It appears that you're heading directly into the heart of the volcano. On reflection, this was inevitable, really. I mean, you can't just have a [[Final Boss]] Battle ''near'' a volcano. It would be like having a car chase in which the [[Fruit Cart]] doesn't get knocked over. Or [[They Fight Crime|fighting crime]] in a [[Humongous Mecha|giant robot]] and never using [[Rocket Punch]].}}
** You can even swim through the lava back to shore if you mess up in [[That One Puzzle|the lava maze]], but you'll take a load of damage.
* [[Corrupt Bureaucrat]]: The Council of Loathing are often suspected to be this. See the WMG section.
* [[Cosmetic Award]]: Trophies & tattoos, unless you care about PvP mode.
* [[Crate Expectations]]: Parodied, along with a reference to the Start-To-Crate review system, when crates appear in the first area the player visits. "You're a little nervous about encountering [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Crate a crate] this early in the game."
** Also parodied by the Barrel Full Of Barrels, which is [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|a giant barrel full of smaller, smashable barrels]]. Some of the mini-barrels [[Exploding Barrels|explode]].
* [[Creepy Doll]]: Equippable as an Accessory, which adds Spooky damage. Also a Spooky marionette and Killer rag doll shield. You can also get a possessed teddy bear and evil clockwork monkey as familiars.
* [[Critical Failure]]: In this case, it's called '''{{color|red|Fumble!}}'''
** Fumbling causes you to, instead of attacking, take damage by dropping your weapon on yourself. When unarmed, fumbles can be a bit strange, ex. "You drop your forehead on your arse."
* [[Cross Player]]: Many male players play female characters in-game, as there are a few [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gender_Differences female-only bonuses]. There's even a trophy for changing your ingame gender 30 times.
* [[Crystal Prison]]: The king has been [[A Worldwide Punomenon|imprismed]].
* [[Crystal Skull]]: Well glass skull, but still can scare away monsters.
* [[Cult]]: [[Flying Spaghetti Monster|Spaghetti Cultists]], encountered during the new Nemesis quest if you play as a Pastamancer.
* [[Damage Increasing Debuff]]: Deleveling an enemy will reduce their damage absorption, along with their attack power.
* [[Damage Over Time]]: Various items, pieces of equipment and statuses inflict [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Passive_Damage "passive damage"] over time.
* [[Dance Battler]]: The Disco Bandit class.
* [[Day Old Legend]]: Repeatedly spoofed. "[[Castlevania|This legendary vampire-slaying whip has been in your family for generations.]] No, wait, I'm thinking of a different whip. This one was made out of brown pixels by a crazy guy in a shed in the woods."
** Meticulously deconstructed by, of all things, [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Trusty Trusty.]
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: Camp Logging Camp, Potent Potion of Potency, Seal-Clubbing Club, Corrupt Club of Corrupt Corruption, Tomato Juice of Powerful Power...
** It is also possible to get hit in the same place twice like "giving you splinters in your neck, elbow, and neck."
** However, some (like the [[Ambiguously Gay|Camp]] [[Monty Python's Flying Circus|Logging Camp]] and the [[Awesome Yet Practical|Po]][[Magick|tent]] Potion [[Status Buff|of Potency]]) merely use homophones to seem redundant [[Subverted Trope|at first glance]].
** One of the "three archetypical elders who have shaped the Kingdom" is St. Sneaky Pete the Redundantly Sneaky.
** "This is a fully rewinged dewinged stab bat." In other words, a stab bat.
* [[Depth Deception]]: Specifically, before the Observatory is destroyed.
* [[The Dev Team Thinks of Everything]]: Subverted in some places, played straight in others. The final boss is only meant to be beatable with {{spoiler|a special wand in your inventory,}} and has massive stats to make sure of this. When someone found a way to do it differently, the developers ''gave them a prize for doing so,'' the description of which said, "Well done for doing something that everyone thought was impossible, and damn you for making us have to work out how to make it not happen again!" Then, ''it happened again.'' (It's good to note at this point that the first player was [[Level Grinding|over level 100,]] And the other had [[Bribing Your Way to Victory|bribed his way there.]]
** Played straight when they gave an Ultra Rare item ([[Luck-Based Mission|which you have a 1 in]] [[Nintendo Hard|no-one-really-knows-at-all chance of getting]]) a resulting material when you pulverize it, making you lose the original item. ''They prepared for people to destroy an Ultra Rare item.'' (The first guy to do it, incidentally, got a [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Wad_of_Crovacite unique reward] too.)
*** The unique reward he got for pulverizing an ultra-rare item pulverizes into itself. Yes, they prepared for that to.
** Periodically, a holiday on the in-game calendar will fall on the day of an actual real-life holiday. When this happens, the result is usually a clever combination of the two holidays, sometimes even worked into the plot. Thanksgiving on Saint Patrick's Day becomes [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Drunksgiving Drunksgiving], with drunk versions of Thanksgiving encounters; Halloween on Christmas resulted in the [[Nightmare Before Christmas]] themed [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Crimboween Crimboween], etc.
** Trying to access the server directory where the image files for trophies are stored simply returns a message:"No peeking."
** [http://forums.kingdomofloathing.com/vb/showpost.php?p=4167363&postcount=6 "Stupid complicated game."]
* [[Dissimile]]: Mr. Skullhead loves this trope. For example.
{{quote|[[Hello, Insert Name Here|(your Disembodied Hand)]] sprays him with some club soda. And by "sprays," I mean, "hits," and by "some," I mean "a," and by "soda," I mean "for X damage." }}
* [[Deep-Immersion Gaming]]: Playing any [[Mini Game|Game Grid Video Game]] has the character black out and in the game for the duration. Yes, add the same level of snark to [[Mario|Jackass Plumber]], [[Metroid|Meteoid]], [[Sinistar|DemonStar]], [[Gauntlet (1985 video game)|Dungeon Fist!]], [[Star Control|Space Trip]], and [[Street Fighter|Fighters]] [[Tekken|of]] [[King of Fighters|Fighting.]]
* [[Disturbed Doves]]: one of the possible attack messages for the haiku katana:
{{quote|Flocks of cranes in flight
fleeing the scene where you caused
pain beyond measure. }}
* [[Dismantled MacGuffin]]: The worm-riding manual. {{spoiler|[[Free Sample Plot Coupon|Downplayed]], since you get page 3-15 all at once.}}
* [[Ditto Fighter]]: the Doppelshifter and Comma Chameleon familiars, as well as any familiar equipped with the Tiny Costume Wardrobe.
* [[Do Not Spoil This Ending]]: the "Ragamuffin Imp" familiar, and the puzzle which reveals how to get it.
* [[Donut Mess with a Cop]]: Discussed in the description of the "Ur-donut" item.
{{quote|There has never been a donut more donut than this one. Shops that sell these are where the platonic ideals of cops hang out.}}
* [[Double Entendre]]: There are dozens of these references. Also, there is the Hole in the Sky, where you can fight constellations. The astronomers of that time had very dirty minds, as all but one of the constellations (The [[Shameless Self Promoter|Astronomer]]) are named after various names of the ''Skin Flute'' and the ''Beaver''.
* [[Dracolich]]
* [[The Dragon]]: Each of the villains in the nemesis quest has one of these, who will give you a map to their lair, a unique familiar, and [[Vendor Trash|an item with a nice resale value]] when beaten.
* [[Dual-Wielding]]: The Seal Clubber ability "Double Fisted Skull Smashing" allows the use of two one-handed weapons at once, and the Disco Bandit ability "Ambidextrous Funkslinging" allows the use of two items at once.
* [[Dude, Not Funny]]: Invoked by the "Offensive Joke" ability.
* [[Element Number Five|Element Number Six]] - Cute. Cute is, however, [[The Fifth Element|The Sixth Element]]
* [[Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors]]: Though with some rather unusual elements. '''{{color|red|Hot}}''', '''{{color|blue|Cold}}''', '''{{color|gray|Spooky}}''', '''{{color|green|Stench}}''' and '''{{color|blueviolet|Sleaze}}''' are the elements of KoL. Each element [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Image:Elements2.gif takes double damage from two, and deals double damage to the other two]. If you attack a monster with its own element, or attack a ghost with non-elemental weapons, you deal negligible damage. Oh, and it's currently the trope page picture.
** Also, there are three elements which are only used in certain situations and don't fit into the cycle: Slime, Shadow, and Bad Spelling.
** There is also the legendary [[The Fifth Element|Sixth Element]], Cuteness.
* [[Elite Mooks]]: The "Hero" enemies in the Hippy/Fratboy war.
* [[Emo Teen]]: The Goth Giant enemy, who writes bad poetry and wears a fuckton of makeup. Also the Confused Goth Music Student, the Next-generation Frat Boy, the Emo Squid familiar, and the Girl in a Black Dress.
* [[The Elevator From Ipanema]]: During the Disco Bandit's Nemesis quest.
* [[Elvish Presley]]: Elvish Sunglasses, which give you the "Rock Out" ability. Also, the Elvish effect obtained at the Mysterious Island Arena, if you complete the frat sidequest and pay close enough attention to the music.
* [[Elves vs. Dwarves]]: On the Mysterious Island, as part of a quest from the Council of Loathing, you can start and end war between the smelly, nature-loving hippies and the sleazy, beer-drinking frat boys.
* [[Escort Mission]]: Parodied and thankfully averted with [https://web.archive.org/web/20130303144414/http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Granny,_Does_Your_Dogfish_Bite%3F Grandma Seamonkey]. She describes herself as someone useless in a fight who would easily get lost and be unable to circumvent the simplest of obstacles. [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath|The player character determines that she should be fine making it back on her own]].
* [[Even Evil Has Standards]]: The pirates may be no-good, thieving, lying brigands, but unlike the frat boys, they would never make people wear some kind of humiliating outfit while cleaning!
* [[Everything Is Better With Monkeys]]: Sock Monkeys, Balloon Monkeys, Rhesus Monkeys, Hobo Monkeys (complete with tiny cigar, hobo vest, a top hat, and the wallet he just stole from you), and monkeys that play cymbals.
** And now the insidious Jocko Homo.
* [[Everything's Better with Penguins]]: The Penguin Mafia. In fact, its leader took over Crimbo (the in-game Christmas equivalent) in 2008.
* [[Everything's Better with Princesses]]: Spunky ones wielding titanium assault [[Super Mario Bros.|umbrellas]], and princesses that [[Suspiciously Specific Denial|in no way resemble]] [[Lawyer-Friendly Cameo|Princesses Toadstool and Leia]].
* [[Everything's Worse with Bees|Everything Is Worse With B(ee)s]]: Summer 2011 special challenge: Bees Hate You. Bees attack you every couple of turns, and they want to kill you. Even the ''b''s in any equipment you're wearing. Your character also has a phobia of using items or familiar with a "B" in it.
* [[Everything Trying to Kill You|Everything Trying To Beat You Up]]: There are loads of strange and unusual monsters in this game.
* [[Evil Chef]]: A few of the monsters are examples of this.
* [[Evil Poacher]]: Stella the Turtle Poacher, [[Evil Counterpart|nemesis]] of the Turtle Tamer.
* [[Evil Versus Evil]]: The hippy/frat boy war, for a particularly [[Laughably Evil|ineffective]] brand of "evil". There's a special reward for getting both sides killed. Then again, your contracting body isn't quite unambiguously good either.
* [[Extremely Overdue Library Book]]: The [[Procrastination Giant]] has an extremely overdue library book in his bedroom, the books was so overdue that if it weren't for its bookplate, the player would've thought it predates the invention of libraries.
* [[Eye Poke]]: Disco Eye-Poke is a move in the Disco Bandit's arsenal.
* [[Fantasy Counterpart Culture]]: Canadia (Canada) and South Of The Border (Mexico).
* [[Fantasy Kitchen Sink]]: Superlatively so.
* [[Fetch Quest]]: Used a ton, and spoofed frequently.
** Most notably with the Going Postal quest.
* [[Fighter, Mage, Thief]]: Two classes for each, but pointedly Lampshaded by their shared guild-hall and stat dependence.
* [[Fire-Breathing Diner]]: The ''Chronic Indigestion'' ability, gained by eating an encorcelled burrito so spicy your insides catch fire.
* [[Fish Slap]]: The [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Halibut halibut] is a weapon (2-handed fish).
* [[Free Sample Plot Coupon]]: You get {{spoiler|Worm riding manual page 3-15}} in one go, instead of having to spend ridiculous amounts of time to get twelve distinct noncombat adventures.
* [[Full Set Bonus]]: Many equipment items are part of an outfit. Many of these don't only give bonuses but are also required somewhere in quests.
* [[Fun with Acronyms]]: The '''S'''ub '''O'''rbital '''C'''onveyance of the '''K'''ingdom (SOCK).
** The '''F'''amiliar '''U'''nderground '''C'''ommunity of the '''K'''ingdom, which hasn't thought of an acronym.
* [[Fun with Palindromes]]: Everything about the Palindome.
* [[Furry Fandom]]: Mocked mercilessly by the dev team (and thus everyone in the game world), who (at least at the point those parts of the game were written) think these guys are [[Squick]] on legs. There's even a fur-fan enemy, the Furry Giant, who dresses up like a wolf. He's a little bitch.
** Also, the fursuit armor set is a [[Lethal Joke Item]] that effectively cripples its wearer, but in a [[Not Completely Useless|very specific way]] that can be useful.
* [[Game Breaking Bug]]: It's gone now, but the legendary [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Black_Sunday Meat Vortex bug] destroyed the game's economy to the point they had to work a solution into the ''plot''.
** Incorporating major game fixes into the plot is a staple of the game - when Jick screwed up while backing up a server and basically erased a day or two worth of data, it led to massive amounts of plot involving time portals, "petrified time", and a general breakdown of temporal physics for a while.
* [[Garden of Evil]]:
** The Naughty Sorceress' hedge maze.
** A new area was added that's a garden. That's tended by a demon. And is full of killer lawn gnomes.
** The Red Queen's Garden, if you can find and go down the rabbit hole in the Nearby Plains.
* [[Genre Savvy]]: When fighting {{spoiler|Ed the Undying}}, your character does this:
{{quote|"{{spoiler|You step back from the sarcophagus and ready your weapon. 'All right, let's get on with it,' you say. 'I know for a fact that you're going to come to life and attack me as soon as I try to take the [[MacGuffin]], so let's just cut to the chase.'}}"}}
*** This is probably because the exact same thing happened earlier in that quest. Of course, you were pretty [[Genre Savvy]] the first time around. Just... less so.
** {{spoiler|[[Guide Dang It|If 'The Man' and 'The Big Wisniewski' meet during the war between the Hippies and the Frat Boys]], 'The Man' will exhibit this trope.}}
* [[Glass Cannon]]: The Mysticality classes, both of which deal very high elemental damage while having very low HP and evasion. Pastamancers can get over it using spells, items and/or summoned pasta guardians to gain combat-initiative and stun their target long enough to kill it, while Saucerors can mitigate their fragility by using saucespheres to regenerate to a degree, and by using an array of crafted potions to buff themselves.
* [[Global Currency Exception]]: Lots of these, each with their own independent currency, where meat is not accepted. This includes Hobopolis (with hobo nickels), Big Brother's store on the Ocean Floor (with sand dollars), the Bounty Hunter Hunter (with filthy lucre), Mr. Store (with [[Bribing Your Way to Victory|Mr. Accessories]]), the Hermit (with worthless trinkets), and the Mysterious Island during wartime (with dimes and quarters for the hippy camp and frat house, respectively).
** And for Crimbo 2009 there are Crimbux! (singular: crimbuck)
*** And for Crimbo 2010 there is CRIMBCO scrip!
** Don't forget the Fat Stacks of Cash: "These are some fat stacks of cash. Too bad you can't spend cash in the Kingdom of Loathing." They could be used to bribe the penguin mafia during Crimbo 2008, but aside from then, they can only be sold for 150 meat apiece, or used in combat to give your opponent an opportunity to attack.
* [[A God Am I]]: Before you, the player character, start stomping on the kingdom after [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Made_it%2C_Ma%21_Top_of_the_World%21 being grown huge,] you say, "[[Evil Laugh|Mwa-ha-ha!]] Who can stand against me! [[A God Am I|I am a GOD!]]" It results in you fighting ''the entire kingdom!'' (See [[Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever]], below).
{{quote|"Then you realize that was over the top, and sure, maybe they can't hurt you, but that's no reason to be a jerk about it. Oh, well -- everyone's mad at you, now, so you're going to have to defend yourself." }}
* [[Golem]]: You can have a "Meat Golem" camp guard. There are lots of Golem enemies, including the nacho golem, stuffing golem, candied yam golem, fruit golem, white chocolate golem, bread golem, chowder golem, pencil golem, topiary golem, and collapsed mineshaft golem, which just goes to show that some people will make a golem out of ''anything''.
* [[A Good Name for a Rock Band]]: Many, many times.
** "Naughty Periodicals" is suggested at the Daily Dungeon.
** "Perforated Virgins", if you have a Uniclops familiar and a Crown of Thrones.
** "This is a dewinged stab-bat. Have you heard my new band, the Dewinged Stab-Bats?"
*** "This is a partially rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, the Partially Rewinged Dewinged Stab Bats?"
**** "This is a fully rewinged dewinged stab bat. Have you heard my new band, [[Overly Long Gag|The Joke That Got Repeated Until It Wasn't Funny Anymore?]]"
** "Black Widow and the Spinnerettes" for an all-girl group, when fighting a Black Widow.
* [[Gradual Grinder]]: Moxie classes, with their 'plinking' tactics - using ranged weapons to slowly wear down their opponents while, thanks to their high evasion, they almost never get hit themselves unless the monster they're fighting severely outlevels them. Melee classes can be played as gradual grinders too, although their strategy relies on high max HP and damage absorption/reduction.
* [[Grammar Nazi]]: The Ghost of the English Language [[NPC]] forces players to understand the differences between "there," "their," and "they're," as well as "your" and "you're," before letting them use the game's chatrooms. Inverted if you equip the Sword Behind Inappropriate Prepositions, which makes you use random [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|inappropriate prepositions]] in chat; or the Staph of Homophones, which replaces some of your words with out-of-place homophones.
* [[Grand Finale]]: Not for the game itself, but the long-awaited conclusion to the Nemesis quest.
* [[Grievous Harm with a Body]]: The [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Severed_flipper severed seal flipper] references this trope.
{{quote|This is the severed flipper of an Infernal Seal. Scientists agree that there is nothing in the world more badass than beating something with a body part you ripped off of something. Of course, if they disagreed, we'd probably rip off their arms and beat them with 'em.}}
* [[Groin Attack]]: The Turtle Tamer ability "Kneebutt".
** Also, one of the many areas randomly targeted by monsters is the groin. The black pudding slaps the female player in the groin with a [[Naughty Tentacles|greasy pseudopod]]. The Burrowing Bishop spins his mitre and charges at you furiously, drilling you in the groin (sleaze damage)!
* [[Grotesque Cute]]: The Adorable Seal Larva familiar is a shining example.
{{quote|''<name> chews its way into the corpse of your fallen opponent in a spray of blood and gristle. Soon, it bursts out of the other side of the carcass, slimes its way up your leg onto your shoulder, and vomits some form of healing bile into your ear. Awww, isn't that just the cutest thing ever?? <3 You gain X hit points. You gain X Mana points.''}}
* [[Guide Dang It]]: A couple NS13 mechanics, particularly [https://web.archive.org/web/20130804130447/http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Monster_Level#Monster_Level_and_Combat_Rate_Modifiers + ML/-NC] one.
** The above mechanic was [[Irony|coincidentally removed in-game ten minutes after its mention was added to this article]].
** Some NS11-era puzzles were also fairly unintuitive without trying to [[Try Everything|combine every item with every other item, or throw combat item after combat item at monsters that fall to only one type of item and horribly murder you otherwise]]. The player base has always had such a high concentration of organized spaders that Jick and Skullhead would be remiss not to leave them something to puzzle out.
** Also, much of the Sorceress's Tower, particularly the Perplexing Door (which, unlike the tower monsters, gives you no hints as to how many keys you need - and you need them ''all''). There is absolutely nothing that tells you the exact combination of stars and lines needed for a Richard's star key, nor the number of pixels needed for a digital key. Oh, and the areas where stars, lines, and pixels drop are otherwise unessential; it's possible that you won't have even unlocked them by the time you get to the door.
** Finding all twenty hobo codes, which will require at least three ascensions and a lot of counterintuitive thinking.
** Finding all of the Way of the Surprising Fist scrolls, five of which are absolutely necessary to complete the ascension. These and the hobo codes can only be found in specific locations, and there are no hints whatsoever as to what those locations are.
** You normally get a medal for completing the Hippy/Frat war, depending on which side you fight on and how many sidequests you complete for that side. How are you supposed to know that {{spoiler|killing ''exactly'' 999 soldiers (there's no visible counter) on each side causes an epic showdown with ''both'' final bosses? Or that using a ''flare gun'' (which does nothing at any other time during the War) during this special final battle insta-kills both bosses and gets you a special medal?}} By looking it up, that's how.
* [[Hard Mode Perks]]: Ascending on higher difficulties gives you those.
* [[Head Pet]]: Turtle Tamers wear live turtles as helmets.
** The Crown of Thrones lets you carry any familiar on your head.
* [[Heh Heh, You Said "X"]]: "Huh huh. Poop deck."
* [[Heroic Comedic Sociopath]]: The player character. Sometimes an adventure gives you a choice if you want to act like one, but this is rare.
* [[Holiday Mode]]: Crimbo (for Christmas), which is one disaster after another. 2010 revolves around working for the megacorp that makes Crimbo so safe, it's boring.
* [[Hopeless Boss Fight]]: Don Crimbo, the boss of Crimbo 2009.
** The Crimbomination at the end of Crimbo 2008.
** Dr. Awkward, before obtaining the Mega Gem.
* [[Hunting the Most Dangerous Game]]: Safari Jack, Dragon to Stella the Turtle Poacher.
* [[Hurricane of Euphemisms]]: The Hole in the Sky has 19 different monsters. 18 of them are named after euphemisms for genitalia.
* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: A large source of the game's humor.
** One of the hit messages for "The Little Man in the Canoe" even goes as far as to ''say'' "If you know what I mean."
** Knob Goblin. Orc Chasm.
* [[Ice Cream Koan]]: In the description of the wool hat.
{{quote|"If an apple seed turns to wings, it will fly away like a butterfly. If a butterfly turns into an apple seed, it will just lay there on the ground."
[[Lampshade Hanging|Yeah, I don't know what it means either.]] }}
* [[Impossible Item Drop]]: Either averted, played for [[Rule of Funny]] (like with the [[The Beatles|Swarm of Scarab Beatles]], which drops things like "Colonel Mustard's Lonely Spades Club Jacket" or "Maxwell's Silver Hammer") or parodied with deliberately bad [[Hand Wave|Hand Waves]].
* [[Impossibly Cool Weapon]]: The ridiculously overelaborate ninja weapon. It consists of four long blades, three wooden poles, six steel chains, and an assortment of spikes. You have absolutely no idea how to use it, but it looks totally badass. 3x chance of [[Critical Failure|fumble]]. 3 handed weapon.
* [[Improbably Accessory Effect]]: There are some items that help you in really strange ways. It would be inconvenient to list them all, but the [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tiny_Plastic_Enchantments tiny plastic figurines] and [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Card_sleeve Alice's Army trading cards] are good examples of things that shouldn't really do anything actually being incredibly versatile.
* [[Incredibly Lame Pun]]: [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Ol%27_Scratch Ol' Scratch.] So much dumb heat jokes.
* [[Instrument of Murder]]: The Stolen Accordion, weapon of choice of the Accordion Thief.
** Which, through a special quest, can become the Rock and Roll Legend, and then the Squeezebox of the Ages.
*** Then {{spoiler|The Trickster's Trikitixa once Somerset Lopez is defeated once and for all}}.
** There are also several instruments aside from accordions, including guitars ([http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Heavy_metal_thunderrr_guitarrr one of which is called an "axe"]), drums, flutes, a rattle, a violin, a tuba, and a sitar.
* [[Island Base]]: Your Nemesis has a secret tropical island volcano lair, [[Genre Savvy|just as predicted by your guild leader]].
* [[Joke Item]]: Most of the items from the Summon Hilarious Objects spell.
** Not to mention multiple familiars that ''don't do anything''. Or the ones that only serve to impede you.
** [[Lethal Joke Item]]: Some bosses are only supposed to be killable by using highly improbable inventory items on them. This being KoL, some of the players have found alternate methods.
* [[Just Add Water|Just Add Meatpaste]]: Most of the [[Item Crafting]] variants.
* [[Kawaisa]]: the Stuffed Cocoabo.
* [[Kneecapping]]: This is the general modus operandi of the [[Everything's Better with Penguins|Penguin Mafia]].
* {{spoiler|[[Konami Code]]}}: One of the passwords you'll need to reach the Naughty Sorceress.
* [[Lampshade Hanging]]: On a variety of MMORPG tropes and cliches with great frequency. In other words, nearly ''everything.''
** For example, the adventure "Congratulations, You Found an Important Thing".
* [[Level Drain]]: Can be done to monsters, too. Also can be reversed; many advanced players will gleefully ''raise'' enemy levels to boost the gained [[Experience Points]].
* [[Level Scaling]]: Some monsters have stats that scale to match yours to allow everyone to participate in [[Holiday Mode|holiday event dungeons]].
* [[Living Shadow]]: One of the bosses that you must face in the Big Bad's lair is your shadow.
* [[Load-Bearing Boss]]: The three possible outcomes of the Level 12 Quest each end with either one or both of the bases being blown up after defeating the boss(es). The game does justify the explosion, though.
* [[Load-Bearing Hero]]: Parodied in one of the possible outcomes of exploring Noob Cave: a falling boulder blocks the exit, and, as there is nobody else there to help you, you must hold up the boulder blocking the exit while you crawl to safety between your own legs.
* "[[Long Story Short]], you have a [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Return_of_the_Dishwasher magical evening]. [[Short Story Long]]? [[Take That|Anything]] by [[Charles Dickens|Dickens]]."
* [[Lord British Postulate]]: The Naughty Sorceress' third form will - usually! - destroy the player if they don't have the right item. One player decided this wasn't the case. See the "[[Bee-Bee Gun]]" entry above, too.
* [[Lost Forever]]: A good portion of the content is now only available in the Mall for millions of meat at a time, and more is completely lost.
* [[Lucky Rabbit's Foot]]: The Lucky Rabbit's Foot increases item drop and money drops by 7%.
* [[Magic Music]]: Accordion Thieves can learn a variety of songs as buffs for stats, item gains, etc., for other players or themselves.
* [[Magikarp Power]]: Your basic equipment, that is, the weapon you start with, is useless after about level two. However, it is needed to make your class' Legendary Epic Weapon.
** The maiden wig, the chef's hat, and the beer goggles are low-level equipment which aren't very powerful, especially since the [[Goggles Do Nothing]]. But, they are needed to make the Clockwork Maid, the Chef-in-the-Box, and the Bartender-in-the box, which give you 8 more adventures per day, allow you to cook fancy ingredients without using an adventure, and allow you to mix fancy cocktails without using an adventure, respectively. For those who don't play, these are must-haves for any obsessive gamer. You can also sell them for quite a lot of meat.
** The goggles are also used in constructing [[First-Person Snapshooter|4-d cameras]], which become increasingly valuable as you gain access to rarer and more powerful subjects of photography.
* [[Magitek]]: The El Vibrato relics, which are described as ancient, inscrutable [[Clarke's Third Law|magic/technology]]. In addition, the Mechs in the Penultimate Fantasy Airship, and related items.
** The aforementioned airship Mechs are properly called MagiMechTech MechaMech, so the reference becomes even more obvious.
** And the Magilaser Blastercannon.
* [[The Man]]: It turns out you can fight him, after all.
* [[Marshmallow Dream]]: Referenced in the descriptions of the [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Comfy_pillow comfy pillow] and [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Giant_marshmallow giant marshmallow].
* [[Mass Monster Slaughter Sidequest]]: The Bounty Hunter Hunter exists to give out quests of this type.
* [[Meaningful Name]]: There are the chef-in-a-box and bartender-in-a-box, which remove the adventure cost of cooking and making booze. There is no smith-in-a-box, though. The gnoll smith, [[Punny Name|Innabox,]] works as the item would.
* [[Medicine Show]]: Doc Galaktik in Seaside Town runs one of these.
* [[Metaphorgotten]]: "[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Hellseal_pup This young seal] is nearly ready to leave the brood-nest to be a big shark in its own pond instead of a... piranha... in a small... All right, [[Lampshade Hanging|that metaphor went off the rails pretty fast]]." Probably not the only example out there.
* [[Mid-Battle Tea Break]]: The War Frat 500th Infantrygentleman's fumble message has him drink a martini rather than attack you, because it just so happens to be Cocktail Hour.
* [[Mighty Lumberjack]]: In Little Canadia, the player can encounter lumberjacks, lumberjills, and lumberjuans. The lumberjack supervisor carries ''[[One-Handed Zweihander|two]]'' double-sides axes.
* [[The Missingno]]: Parodies this with the Bugged Bugbear monster, and later its friendlier variant, the Baby Bugged Bugbear familiar. Neither is ''actually'' glitched, but their images have chunks of them replaced with ones and zeroes, they drop inexplicable and bizarre items, and they spit out realistic-looking [[MySQL]] error messages with almost everything they do.
* [[Money Spider]]: Toyed with (and mostly justified) by using meat as currency. On the opposite end, diamonds and the such are regarded as worthless due to their lack of practical use and the large number of them.
* [[The Monolith]]: One can be found in the Spooky Forest.
* [[Mook Bouncer]]: As a [[Shout-Out]] to ''[[Nethack]]''.
* [[Mook Chivalry]]: Soldiers in the Hippy/Frat war line up to fight you one at a time. After you kill a soldier, a set number (increased by doing sidequests) of other soldiers line up to be slaughtered by your allies. The enemy team's boss is not accessible until you kill all the other enemy mooks {{spoiler|(or all but one of the mooks on each side)}}, and your allies will not help you fight him.
* [[Moon Logic Puzzle]]:
** During the final quest, you will encounter six monsters that each require a certain item to beat it. While most of the items make sense, the Giant Desktop Globe must be beaten by {{spoiler|an NG}}. The reasoning behind this comes from a ''[[They Might Be Giants]]'' song ( {{spoiler|"Ana Ng", from the album ''Lincoln'': "Make a hole with a gun, perpendicular/To the name of this town on a desktop globe"}}), a band mentioned in the game many times, but only in relatively subtle references. Luckily, if you lose to the monster 5 times, the game will give you the answer.
** There's also an [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Dwarven_Factory_Complex_Puzzle optional puzzle] involving translating dwarven runes, farming for ore and coal, gambling with the miners to deduce the values of the dwarven digit runes, ''converting the digits from [[Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs (novel)|base seven]] to base ten'', putting the right amount of the right materials into the right hoppers, and setting the value of four console dials. The game gives you everything you need to deduce the solution to the puzzle, but the process is ''incredibly'' difficult. And you have to do it ''three times'' to get the Dwarvish War Uniform. In three ascensions, since one of the items required is a one-time drop.
* [[Musical Assassin]]: Most ranged weapons are musical instruments, allowing your character to be a [[Musical Assassin]].
** Accordion Thieves live off of this trope; most of their skills are buffs in the form of songs.
* [[Naughty Birdwatching]]: The telescope, obtained in Fernswarthy's Basement, can be used to either look at the stars for a stat boost or look at the [[Big Bad|Naughty Sorceress]]'s tower to see what monsters it has.
** In addition, before the Observatory's destruction, players could use it to look into the Sorceress's chamber itself. She would then retaliate with a magical flash of light, causing temporary blindness, and a nearby astronomer would express disapproval of "base voyeurism" [[Hypocritical Humor|while adjusting his polarized sunglasses]].
* [[Naughty Tentacles]]: Invoked when fighting Slime monsters.
{{quote|"It extrudes a pseudopod between your legs, [[All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles|but since this isn't a Japanese cartoon,]] hits you in the (body part) instead." (pain noises)
"It attacks with a mass of tentacles, [[All Anime Is Naughty Tentacles|but you've read enough Manga to know to dodge.]]" }}
* [[Nerf Arm]]: About half of the weapons available are silly yet effective. Especially the ranged weapons. For instance, the most powerful ranged weapons are a vinyl record, a bag of snowballs, and a bag of candy. Heck, even the only two semi-serious max power ranged weapons are pretty silly, one being a rusty speargun found on the bottom of the sea and the other being a bazooka from a fish. In addition, musical instruments both strange and unusual are common ranged weapons. For example, there's the ''little plastic guitar'', which is described as having "[[Guitar Hero|five buttons instead of strings and a little switch you click back and forth instead of strumming]]. It's perfect for those who want to spend hours practicing a musical instrument, without that pesky "able to play music" part at the end." In addition, a fair amount of ''regular'' weapons are silly too. For example, among the most powerful weapons are: A fish stick, a spade from an octopus, and a duct tape sword.
* [[New Game+]]: "Ascension" allows one to beat the game and start over as a new class; with access to previous skills and items depending on which [[Self-Imposed Challenge]] you take. There are special rewards for completing higher difficulties.
* [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]]: The [[Trope Namer]]. Yes, there actually ''is'' a robotic zombie that is also a pirate and a ninja. It lives on ricerumbrainsoil. It was created because the [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]] clan was awesome.
** And it makes toast! From its groin!
*** [[Too Much Information|We did not need to know that.]]
* [[No Endor Holocaust]]: Averted, actually when Corman invaded Valhalla. The players managed to destroy his Bone Star, but all of the debris destroyed Valhalla. Fortunately, time passes differently there, so it was instantly rebuilt better than ever.
** Played straight in a sidequest that turns you into a [[Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever|Kingdom-sized behemoth]] and lets you stomp around on everything. No matter what you do, you cannot cause any permanent damage.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: From the adventure "The Paper Chase":
{{quote|You've learned to trust your adventurer senses, except when it comes to real-estate investing.
It's kind of a long story, and the less said, the better. }}
** While eating a desiccated apricot:
{{quote|You chew through the apricot, and it's no easy task. It's like that time you had to chew your way out of those leather restraints. Oh, wait. You probably don't want to talk about that. Never mind. }}
** The reaction of a minor spaghetti cultist when you summon a Level 3 [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Spaghetti_Elemental_(pasta_guardian) Spaghetti Elemental]:
{{quote|At the sight of the spaghetti elemental, the cultist begins to quake with fear, his eyes widening to the size of hard-boiled eggs. He collapses to his knees, sobbing in fear. "My lord! Forgive me!" he wails. "I didn't know what I was doing! I thought it was a toilet! I swear!"}}
* [[Non-Appearing Title]]: Referenced by the kingdom's best screaming-crying band, ''Radioactive Child'', and their hit single, '''If You Want to Tell People the Truth, Make Them Laugh, Otherwise They'll Kill You (Royale With Cheese)''. "To show they're clever and hip, screaming-crying bands use famous quotes and pop culture references for their song titles, and make sure that the title never has anything to do with the song."
* [[Non-Human Undead]]: The [[Dracolich|Bonerdagon]].
* [[Now Where Was I Going Again?]]: Your "Quest Log", which actually is an enchanted log in your camp site.
* [[The Nudifier]]: The Depantsing Bomb.
* [[Obsession Song]]: You summon and use these as combat items. (Or as a regular buffing item to increase your item drops.)
* [[Odd Job Gods]]: One of the elemental spirits in the [[McGuffin]] Quest is "Squirtlcthulli, god of water and doorknobs".
* [[Omnicidal Neutral]]: The best reward for the Mysterious Island Quest is the Order of the Silver Wossname, obtained by destroying both the Hippy Army and the Frat Boy army at once.
** You can resolve the turf war between the [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Roller Skates and Ice Skates]], ([[Don't Explain the Joke|two factions of fish obsessed with sporting activities]]), by helping the Skate Board drive both gangs off.
* [[One-Winged Angel]]: But of course. There's one [[Affectionate Parody]] version - the Naughty Sorceress - and one straight version - the Nemesis. {{spoiler|The way they achieve it is different too: the Sorceress says the old "behold my true form" line while the Nemesis calls on the Demon Lord of Revenge}}.
** There's also an inversion - {{spoiler|you fight Ed the Undying seven times in a row, but he gets weaker with each adventure.}}
* [[Oh Wait, This Is My Grocery List]]: Fernswarthy the Wizard's letter.
* [[108]]: The [[Final Fantasy|PenultimateFantasy]] [[Treasure Chest|chest]] has a base value of 108 meat.
* [[Only the Worthy May Pass]]: Chat channels are only accessible after passing a test given by the Ghost of the English Language. One of the prerequisites needed is an understanding of the proper usage of there/their/they're.
* [[Our Werebeasts Are Different]]: The Weretaco "is an ordinary man, who, when the moon is full, turns into a half-man, half-taco monstrosity. Incidentally, for you detail-oriented people out there -- the weretaco's lycanthropic cycle is not tied to Ronald or Grimace, but to some completely unrelated moon in some completely unrelated alternate dimension. That's why you never see him turn into a human. Seriously."
** The weremoose functions on aboot the same lines, eh?
** There's also the ultra rare Talisman of Baio, which drops from the "Baiowolf", a [[Werewolf]] version of Scott Baio, and increases your stats depending on the phases of the moons.
** And the Wereturtle familiar.
*** Although the wereturtle is "probably just a turtle".
** And the ability to use "Blood of the Wereseal" on yourself to gain "Temporary Lycanthropy", a stat boost based on the lunar phase.
* [[Overly Long Name]] / [[Overly Long Gag]]: Hangk's Ancestral Mini-Storage was ravaged by fire, hit by a comet, and flooded. Each disaster lengthened its name; after the third one, it was temporarily called "Hangk's [[Only Mostly Dead|Mostly-Burned-Down]]-then-[[Colony Drop|Hit-by-a-Chunk-of-a-Comet]]-then-[[Up to Eleven|Flooded-by-the-Melting-Comet]] Ancestral Mini-Storage."
* [[Parallel Porn Titles]]: Discussed in one of the Store of Loathing calendar descriptions.
{{quote|Words can't do the picture justice -- let's just say that tentacles and winter festivity haven't gone this well together since ''It's a Hentai Christmas, Charlie Brown!''}}
* [[The Password Is Always Swordfish]]: Used in the Quest for the Holy [[MacGuffin]].
* [[Perplexing Plurals]]: The game tends to have a lot of fun with plurals, with "box" becoming "boxen", "kiwi" becoming "kiwus", "fruit basket" becoming "[[Fruits Basket]]", and "liar's pants" becoming [[The Lord of the Rings|"liar's pantses, precious"]]. There are some items that can only have their plurals obtained by examining the games code's. The plural of "Staff of Ed" is "Staves of Ed, you dirty exploiter you".
* [[Photoprotoneutron Torpedo]]: The MagiMechTech MechaMechs shoot the [[Trope Namer]].
* [[The Pig Pen]]: If you wash a hippie off, one gets dirty again in a few minutes.
* [[Pinata Enemy]]:
** Beefy Bodyguard Bats. They don't appear anymore once you have slain the Boss Bat, though. Players used to "banish" the Boss Bat temporarily so they could fight more Bodyguards, [[Nerf|until an update made banishing the Boss impossible]].
** The rotund ducks at McMillicancuddy's Farm. They're not too tough as enemies, but you can only fight a limited amount of ducks per day, and there are other types of ducks you might encounter instead.
** Every enemy in the Castle in the Clouds, making it easily the most popular place to farm for Meat.
* [[Pineal Weirdness]]: Zombie pineal glands, required to make a [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot]].
* [[Pistol-Whipping]]: The Burly Sidekick will attack by punching you with his gunhand, though he is never out of ammo (like Barret from ''[[Final Fantasy VII]]'', whom he's based on, does in his [[One-Hit Kill|Hammerblow]] [[Limit Break]]).
* [[Podcast]]: [http://radio.kingdomofloathing.com The twice-weekly developer radio show] is technically not one of these, but Jick doesn't always remember that.
* [[Potty Emergency]]: The effect "Your #1 Problem".
* [[Powered Armor]]: Clockwork Armor and El Vibrato armor.
* [[Power At a Price]]: Any reward or event associated with Bad Moon tends to buff you in one way while weakening you in another. However, all of the Bad Moon abilities combined, due to each one ability moderately buffing a stat that is slightly debuffed by another, turn this into an (albeit slighter) increase everywhere.
* [[The Power of Rock]]: The Rock and Roll Legend, the epic weapon of the Accordion Thieves. Also, the heavy metal thunderrr guitarrr, that's awesome enough to actually ''[[Bryan Adams|make your fingers bleed]]'' if you play without a pick.
* [[Prepositions Are Not to End Sentences With]]: Even when [[Rule of Funny|a sentence doesn't end with one]].
* [[Professional Wrestling]]: There's a professional wrestling league called Kingdom Wrestling Entertainment. As this ''is'' the Kingdom of Loathing, the contestants are all knockoffs, homages, and parodies of various characters from Soul Calibur, Street Fighter, Tekken, Super Smash Brothers, and Mortal Kombat, as well as various TV shows and other media. Ever wanted to read about a faceoff between a parody of Princess Peach and [[The Matrix|Trinity]]? Here's your chance.
* [[Pungeon Master]]: Oh, Mr. Skullhead. You and your wordplay.
{{quote|"If you were the female element of a pair of star-crossed lovers, you could give this star crossbow to your star-crossed beau!"}}
* [[Purely Aesthetic Gender]]: With [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Gender_Differences very few exceptions], gender is an aesthetic choice each ascension. I mean, c'mon, these are stick figures here.
* [[Puzzle Boss]]: The monsters in the tower of the Naughty Sorceress. Frosty. Mother Slime. Uncle Hobo.
* [[Random Drop]]
** [[Rare Random Drop]]
* [[Real Life Writes the Plot]]: The "Time Arc", which is the in-game explanation for loss of content due to a database goof; before that, the introduction of the Penguin Mafia as one of the many ways to remove "bugmeat" - excess meat generated by [[Game Breaking Bug|a bug in the system]] - from the economy.
* [[Recursive Reality]]: One mini-dungeon has you shrinking down and battling scabies (skin mites) on ''your own leg''.
* [[Reference Overdosed]]: The game probably contains over a thousand [[Shout-Out|Shout Outs]], of varying degrees of obscurity and subtlety. [https://web.archive.org/web/20150910010521/http://pop.bewarethefgc.com/ There's even a site dedicated to them.]
** [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tome_of_Tropes And now they have a reference to us!]
* [[Revive Kills Zombie]]: Using cure items {{spoiler|is the only way to beat your shadow at the end of the game}}.
* [[Rock Me, Asmodeus]]: Playing heavy metal in the chamber of The Dark Lord is necessary for getting a Pagoda.
** Referenced in a fight message with the Naughty Sorceress, where she tries to [[Incredibly Lame Pun|rock you on the dais.]]
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: Done deliberately with the Misspelled Cemetary and the Defiled Cyrpt, culminating in a battle with the skeletal, draconic Bonerdagon.
** There's a bit of fourth wall breaking here too, as players often refer to the Cyrpt boss as the Bonerdragon, adding in a second r.
* [[Running Gag]]: Jick's apparent obsession with the number 11. It's ridiculous. It's not even funny.
* [[Saving Christmas|Saving Crimbo]]: Crimbo has been one disaster after another, and the [[Holiday Mode]] content invariably revolves around getting Uncle Crimbo out of the hole he's dug for himself. Mixing Hallow'een and Crimbo resulted in horrible misfit toys that are so scary they are used as weapons, giving toy robots brains so they play back resulted in the kingdom's near subjugation by relentless [[Star Trek|Borg]] [[Expy|expies]], and attempting to genetically engineer unique pets resulted in stomach-turning mutants. It's little wonder that by 2010, Crimbo has been handed over to a [[Mega Corp]] that has made Crimbo so safe it's boring.
** Though as of this writing  {{spoiler|the hobo elves that lost their jobs to CRIMBCO, the said [[Mega Corp]], reclaimed Crimbo and Uncle Crimbo has retaken his place as master of ceremonies from the Crimbomination.}}
* [[Schizo-Tech]]: Everywhere, but particularly the ranged weapons, which include everything from boomerangs to laser cannons to pistols.
** To [[Musical Assassin|guitars]] to sacks of snowballs to ''[[Rule of Funny|beer bongs]]''...
* [[Schrödinger's Gun]]: You can find a treasure chest in [[Alice in Wonderland|The Red Queen's Garden]], but before opening it, you have to solve a chess puzzle. Solving the puzzle more completely causes the chest to have had a better prize placed in it.
* [[Scripted Battle]]: The last form of the Naughty Sorceress.
* [[Self-Deprecation]]: "...then it starts to get all up its own ass with self-referential fourth-wall-breaking, so you know you have to end it."
* [[Self-Imposed Challenge]]: Hardcore, Bad Moon, and the dietary "paths". All optional, and make things harder, but offer special rewards (and extra content in Bad Moon's case) if you follow them through to the end.
** One of the hardest is "Kittycore", a Bad Moon run only using the black cat familiar, a familiar which actively hinders you instead of helping you. Except for special adventures which require you to use another familiar, you are not allowed to use ANY familiar other than the black cat, which does such things as preventing you from picking up items after a battle, making your attacks miss, and damaging you for a small amount in battle. Fighting any fight without the black cat even ONCE before stepping through the gash at the end of the game and ascending will void the "Kittycore" run. Completing this run will {{spoiler|permanently unlock Bad Moon}}.
** Now there are new challenge paths that come out every season. At the time of writing, the available challenges are Bees Hate You (bees attack you every now and then, and anything with the letter b in it is bound to hinder you if not become useless), [[Bare-Fisted Monk|Way of the Surprising Fist]] (you get special skills, but you can't use any weapons, and meat sources are severely gimped), Trendy (you can't use anything that has come from limited time content after it's been a year since it became rare), and Avatar of Boris (you can't use any weapon except Boris's axe [[I Call It Vera|Trusty]], any skills besides the ones you can learn at Boris's gate, and the familiar slot is replaced with Boris's bard, Clancy).
* [[Selkies and Wereseals]]: Blood of the Wereseal is a potion that causes your muscles to wax and wane with the moons.
* [[Sequential Boss]]: The Naughty Sorceress, and the aptly named Ed the Undying, who is fought a grand total of ''seven'' times in a row, and is never actually killed.
** In fact, that fight ends with the adventurer stuffing the now limbless Ed into a corner and running off with the Macguffin. The fights are also divided by the adventurer's attempts to make off with the Macguffin early; eventually, the adventurer just waits for Ed to get back up and continue the fight.
* [[Seven Deadly Sins]]: Buyable as skills in the "Bad Moon" path.
* [[Shaggy Dog Story]]: The Nemesis quest. It is discovered that your Nemesis has stolen [[MacGuffin|an artifact of great power]], so your guild sends you to retrieve it and destroy your Nemesis. After solving some puzzles, fighting some goons, and beating your Nemesis ''four times'', it is revealed that  {{spoiler|Larry, a hitherto-unseen fellow member of your guild, had sent the artifact out for cleaning and not told anyone. Larry's new.}} Your character is not pleased to hear this.
* [[Shaped Like Itself]]: "This is a lemon. It's shaped exactly like a lemon."
* [[Shot in the Ass]]: Shooting arrows into someone's arse is the purpose of the [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Arse-shooting_crossbow Arse-shooting crossbow], a custom item given to one player. This can be done to ''other players'' as well, and it's a [[Status Buff]] for them.
* [[Shout-Out]]: Hundreds. There's [https://web.archive.org/web/20150910010521/http://pop.bewarethefgc.com/ a website] dedicated to cataloguing them.
** Even this site got one in Crimbo 2010!
* [[Shows Damage]]: Ed The "UNDYING!"
* [[Shovel Strike]]: The Graverobbing Shovel counts as a 2-hand spear and does spooky damage.
* [[Sinister Scythe]]: gained by getting a Rusty Graverobber's Shovel covered in acidic snot twice. Since it's coated in ick, you get +30% damage from it. Part of a [[Grim Reaper]] costume. Also lampshaded, it's straight-out called "Villainous Scythe."
* [[Zombie Apocalypse|Skeleton Apocalypse]]: The Halloween 2010 event.
* [[Skeleton Key]]: [[A Worldwide Punomenon|Made of bones and teeth]].
* [[Slobs Versus Snobs]]: The Mysterious Island War between hippies and frat boys (respectively) certainly has an aspect of this; the slobs are apathetic, though, and the snobs are violent and boorish while still being snobs.
* [[Speak of the Devil]]: Guy Made of Bees.
* [[Speed Run]]: Common, given the Ascension mechanism. Skills built up and familiars collected over earlier ascensions help a lot. As do items [[Bribing Your Way to Victory|bought from donations]].
* [[Spoof Aesop]]: Normally, booze gives you adventures. But the cheap, skunky beer favored by the Orcish Frat Boys does sleaze damage, and moonshine gives you temporary blindness. Only drink the good stuff, kids!
* [[Standard Status Effects]]: Averted with a ludicrous array of effects (and buffs) like "Beer In Your Shoes", "Tenuous Grip On Reality", and "Seal Clubbing Frenzy".
** There are even several variations of the [[Universal Poison|standard poison effect]], from "Hardly Poisoned At All", to "Really Quite Poisoned". (Though those can still all be cured by using an anti-anti-antidote.)
* [[Star-Spangled Spandex]]
* [[Stock Weapon Names]]: "Frostbrand" is parodied with the "Frost™ brand sword".
* [[Stop Helping Me!]]: The [[Fun with Acronyms|O.A.F. (Optimal Ascension Familiar)]], which slows your EXP gain, removes your buffs, drains your MP, etc. The [[Bad Luck Charm|Black Cat]] is similar, but at least it doesn't claim to be helping you.
** If you find the enemy-health-revealing Detective Skull too useful, try the [[Just for Pun|Defective Skull]], which "deduces" the wrong amount of health or something obvious/useless/meaningless to distract you during combat.
{{quote|"I deduce that this monster is one jive turkey."}}
* [[Stylistic Suck]]: The stick figure artwork, which sometimes manages to be rather intricate while inventively maintaining a consistent look.
* [[Summon Magic]]: Pastamancers can summon "Pasta Guardians", undead creatures with bodies made of - you guessed it - pasta.
* [[Super Reflexes]]: Any character with a high Moxie. The higher it is, the less likely it is that the monster will hit you;there's a point where only a critical hit can touch you.
* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: Uncle P's Antiques:
{{quote|Welcome to our Antique Store, which is absolutely, positively a legitimate establishment, and not a front for any sort of criminal activities.}}
** [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] in one of the Arrbour Day adventures:
{{quote|"Okay," you say, and pry the [bear] trap's jaws apart. "Say, you were awfully specific about what you weren't going to do to me. I mean, it was almost like you were lying-- AIEEE!"}}
* [[The Symbiote]]: Every piece of armor from the "Mutant Couture" outfit is prefixed with "Parasitic". Two different types of [[Combat Tentacles]], a crab-like claw, and a ''mouth''. There is also a campround item called "Burrowgrub Hive". You pick it up and get three maggots infesting your arm. You can [[Squick|extract and ''eat'' the maggots in the middle of combat for a quick boost of HP and MP.]]
* [[Synchronization]]: Inverted in the battle against your shadow. You cannot normally hurt it, but it takes damage equal to the amount of [[Hit Points]] by which you heal yourself.
* [[Take a Third Option]]: At least three: If you want to {{spoiler|get a reward from the Giant in The Strange Leaflet Quest}}, and if you want the best reward for {{spoiler|ending the war between the Hippies and the Frat Boys}}, and if you resolve the turf war between the [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Roller Skates and Ice Skates]], ([[Don't Explain the Joke|two factions of fish obsessed with sporting activities]]), by helping the Skate Board drive both gangs off.
* [[Take That]]: While the game usually veers towards [[Affectionate Parody]], anything that Mr. Skullhead doesn't like will inevitably get one of these.
* [[Take Your Time]]: Don't worry, the Naughty Sorceress never actually does anything. Neither does your Nemesis. In fact,  {{spoiler|if you defeat all but his/her/its final [[One-Winged Angel|demonic form]], and then lose to or run away from the demon, you can then proceed to go wherever you want and do whatever you want and come back at leisure - your Nemesis will still be sitting there in demonic form doing nothing until you return}}.
** After you start a war between the Frat Boys and the Hippies, the two armies march out to the battlefield and...just stand there doing nothing indefinitely, until you decide to join the fight. If you fight for only one side, that side will eventually win with zero casualties, because the other side never takes the offensive!
* [[Temple of Doom]]: [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Hidden_Temple The Hidden Temple]
* [[Testosterone Poisoning]]: The Avatar of Boris path, where you play as an [[An Axe to Grind|axe-wielding]] macho man, with the ability to laugh off injuries (literally), make monsters run away by shouting at them, and [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|demand sandwiches]]. By the end of the game, he's so manly that a certain normally-devastating magical attack just rebounds off his chest muscles.
{{quote|''You laugh as the beam of energy harmlessly bounces off your powerful chest muscles and shoots back down the hallway.''}}
* [[The Magic Poker Equation]]: This is how you win a card game in one of the special [[Self-Imposed Challenge|Bad Moon]] adventures. [[Lampshade Hanging|The other card players then declare they won't stand for such a hackneyed and unrealistic scenario, and beat you up.]]
* [[The Thing That Goes Donk]]: When the Spaghetti Cult send an Oriental assassin after you (Last thug encountered during the second half of the Nemesis quest when playing as a Pastamancer), Yakisoba the Executioner.
{{quote|[[Cherry Blossoms]] swirl gently in the air as a cool breeze rustles the treetops and crickets sing in the shade. Somewhere nearby, there is a melodic ''Klonk'' as one of those bamboo things fills with water and tips over.}}
* [[Thirteen Is Unlucky]]: Thirteen has been omitted from a lot of stuff.
* [[Ticker Tape Parade]]: The reward for completing the Level 11 quest.
* [[Time Travel Tense Trouble]]: Most noticeable in the Distant Past, where it switches back and forth between third-person past and second-person present. Also gets lampshaded upon your arrival in the future, after a lot of future-tense exposition.
{{quote|You will then start getting your narrative in present tense, because it's the future, we get it, no need to run that joke into the ground.}}
* [[Trauma Inn]]: Your dwelling at your campground, as well as the Comfy Sofa in your clan rumpus room.
* [[Turtle Power]]: The Turtle Tamer class.
* [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life]]: One of the monsters for the 2010 Crimbo is the [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tome_of_Tropes Tome of Tropes], a reference to [[TV Tropes]]. Part of the description for the monster reads "every entry contains several references to other cleverly-named tropes... and at some point you look up and see you're eight years older than when you started."
* [[The Undead]]: Every enemy in the Misspelled Cematary and Defiled Crypt, as well as many of the enemies in [[Haunted House|Spookyraven Manor]].
* [[The Un-Reveal]]: The Game Grid had one minigame, [[Super Mario|Jackass Plumber]], which was always "OUT OF ORDER." After a year and a half of this, Crimbo 2011 came around, and players were able to give each other Jackass Plumber consoles as presents. Had the dev team finally gotten around to making the minigame? Well...not exactly. When the gifts became openable, it turned out that the consoles {{spoiler|required nonexistent "Q" batteries. Using the console just makes your character wander around looking for batteries until he/she [[Rage Quit|gets really mad and gives up]]. At least it temporarily boosts your attack power.}}
* [[Universal Poison]]: Used to be the case; now there are multiple kinds of being poisoned. And they stack. Instead of [[Standard Status Effects|sapping your HitPoints]] it's a debuff to all stats, and the various poisons range from Hardly Poisoned At All (ignorable) to Majorly Poisoned (which likely drops your stats to 1).
* [[Unusual Euphemism]]: In order to avoid spoiling things for new players, a particular plot-critical item is customarily referred to as "the Smurf" in the chat.
* [[Urban Legend of Zelda]]: Persistent rumours regarding the [[Lord British Postulate]] about [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Killing_the_hermit killing The Hermit], an NPC "shopkeeper".
* [[Useless Spleen]]: Your spleen is completely useless but still cumbersome, because it limits the number of stat-increasing items you can consume per day.
* [[Victory by Endurance]]: Applies for enemies. You lose if a fight takes too long.
{{quote|This fight is being ended because it took more than 30 rounds, which is sort of unreasonable.
You lose. You slink away, dejected and defeated. }}
* [[Video Game Cruelty Potential]]: Seal Clubbers can learn a skill that destroys equipment for usable items. Some pieces of equipment are living animals. So you can smash a turtle into dust.
** As opposed to meat-pasting live spiky turtles into pieces of armor and then wearing them as a Turtle Tamer.
* [[Violation of Common Sense]]: Upon your initial visit to the Arid, Extra-Dry Desert, you'll likely suffer a couple of harmful effects before finding the way to the Oasis, and you'll quickly learn that adventuring there when not Ultrahydrated is a ''bad'' idea. Except doing so is the only way to find one of the hobo codes and the twitching trigger finger (not to mention an anticheese in Bad Moon you might really need, though that adventure is superlikely).
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?]]: The delivery service quest Olaf the janitor gives you. What's this "item of great power" he needed you to obtain for him?  {{spoiler|Steel wool.}}
{{quote|"Thank you, my friend, you have done me a great service this day. In the annals of history, your deeds shall not be forgotten."}}
* [[Whatevermancy]]: The Pastamancer.
* [[What the Hell, Player?]]: Eating certain foods, mainly raw ingredients such as carob chunks, raw Chorizo, and bottles of ketchup, will cause the game to call you an idiot. Also lemons and limes; notably, if you eat a lime, the game comment that, while you are insane to do so, you are ''slightly less insane'' than you would be if you were eating a lemon.
** In the Turtle Tamer Nemesis quest, one is attacked by "brainwashed" guard turtles. One of their drops is their shell. "So you killed a turtle, ripped the shell from its back, and now you're going to wear it on your head. As a hat. Some Turtle Tamer you are. Damn."
** Three of the five hit messages for attacking with a chefstaff, which really isn't a very effective weapon for hitting things with, tell you outright that it would be a better idea to use it for casting spells than as a bludgeon.
*** Which is hilarious when you're doing tens or hundreds of times the monster' s HP in damage anyway.
** You can pickpocket the Guy Made Of Bees, and thus receive a handful of bees. The item description is shocked that you were insane enough to do this in the first place.
** True [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/The_Whole_Kingdom the whole kingdom can't really hurt] you but that's no reason to be a jerk about it!
* [[When All You Have Is a Hammer]]:
** The "plinking" strategy, which relies on making basically everything you need in combat dependent on [[Min-Maxing|a single maximized stat]], Moxie, and not even bothering to use special attacks.
** The Loathing Legion jackhammer, a form of the "Loathing Legion Knife" Mr. Store item, references this and parodies it by replacing every enemy picture with that of a nail.
** The description of the effect of the "correction fluid" item contains this:
{{quote|To an Adventurer with only a poison-coated weapon, every problem looks like an unpoisoned monster. }}
* [[When Trees Attack]]: The "Arborween" event had adventurers face against a wide array of evil mobile trees.
* [[Whole-Plot Reference]]: The entire White Citadel quest chain is a gigantic reference to [[Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle]], including the fratboys, cheetah, and pretty much everything about it.
* [[William Telling]]: One of the possible minigames (all of which have the exact same function of distributing 99.9% of the bet money to one of the two players completely at random) in the Money Making Game has the player that accepts the bet trying to do this to the player that placed it. If he hits the apple, he wins. If he misses the apple, the other player wins. And if he misses the apple, he always hits the other player
* [[The World Tree]]: Or rather, its [[Evil Twin]], the Underworld Tree; a boss of the "Arborween" Special Event.
* [[Word of God]]: The kingdom's creators have their own radio show/podcast where they answer questions from players and supply "narrative justification" which may not always make sense. At all. Some examples:
** Nothing ever dies, you just beat them up. Where do the skins/corpses you find come from? They carry them around of course!
** Also, you shouldn't feel bad about smashing turtles, you send them straight to turtle heaven, they even send back powder as a thank you.
** The reason most artwork isn't animated is because the kingdom's sun removes animation, just look at the (fully animated) sea!
** The "Distant Lands" have been mentioned in passing several times in various adventures, but the creators have said on the weekly radio show that player will never be able to visit them. This is despite the fact that you actually ''can'' visit parts of the Distant lands when going on vacation at The Shore, but the creators say that doesn't count.
* [[Written Sound Effect]]: '''Ouch!'''es, '''ZAP!'''s and '''[[River City Ransom|BARF!]]'''s. The more damage you deal, the more sound effects appear.
* [[The Worm That Walks]]: The Guy Made Of Bees.
{{quote|'''We Are Bees. We Hate You.'''}}
* [[Wrong Side of the Tracks]]: Even goes by that name.
* [[Your Mom]]: A chef knocks you over in the Haunted Pantry, so you steal his plate of tarts. The description for the tarts reads:
{{quote|This is a tasty tart. And hey, speaking of which, how is your mom doing these days?}}
* [[You Have Researched Breathing]]: You don't know how to put on a shirt when you start. It is only available after [[New Game+|Ascending]]. There's an alternate way to learn this skill in Bad Moon ascensions. It involves getting nearly cut in half, at which point your character becomes aware of the torso he almost lost.
** Also of note is Advanced Cocktailcrafting. While the ability to summon little cocktail accessories is fairly impressive, you also need this skill if you want to, say, ''place a little paper umbrella in a drink''.
** Also, you need to get a skill called [[Whatevermancy|Tempuramancy]] to learn how to ''deep fry.''
*** That is, learning to deep fry in ''a thermal vent on the ocean floor''.
** Similarly, Pastamastery is necessary to cook simple ramen dishes, even though lots of more complex cookings don't require any skills.
** A [http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/A_Crimbo_Carol,_Ch._1 Crimbo skill] teaches you how to eat too much over the holidays and get fat.
* [[You Shouldn't Know This Already]]: The recipe system lets you try to combine different ingredients to make new items. If you attempt a legitimate combination, the recipe is added to your recipe book forever. If your combination doesn't do anything, it tells you so, and neither of the ingredients are consumed. However, some recipes only work if you currently have a particular skill, like pastamastery, and if you lose that skill, it won't let you use the recipe, even though it's in your recipe book. Furthermore, a handful of recipes can only be used if you've already learned the recipe from a specific source. For example, white chocolate chip brownies can only be made after you use the special item "mother's secret recipe". Trying to cook the ingredients otherwise yields the message "It seems like that should work... but it does not."

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