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Abstract Scale: Difference between revisions
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A system of measurement for something that doesn't seem like it could be measured in discrete units in the first place. Almost always used for humor. [[Broke the Rating Scale]] may invoke this when it gets silly. This is presumably how you tell if something is [[
Compare [[Hiroshima As a Unit of Measure]], which is when someone measures a quantifiable thing in a strange way.
{{examples
== Anime and Manga ==
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{{quote| "Sincerity we measure in Spelvins on a scale of zero to ten," Dashwood went on, totally absorbed in his subject. "Hedonism in Lovelaces-we've been lucky there; subjects are able to distinguish sixteen graduations. Finally, there's the dimension of Tenderness-we find zero to seven covers that, so that the perfect Steinem Job, if I may use the vernacular, would consist of ten Spelvins of Sincerity, sixteen Lovelaces of Hedonism, and seven Havens of Tenderness."}}
* In Stanisław Lem's short story "Experimenta Felicitologica", the protagonist uses a unit he calls "hedones" to measure the happiness of a being at a given time. His professor uses a unit called "bromeons" for the same purpose.
* ''[[America the Book]]'' book gauged the value of a news story in [
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== Webcomics ==
* An archon in ''[[The Order of the Stick (Webcomic)|The Order of the Stick]]'' measured evil in terms of [http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0489.html kilo-nazis], with a baseline of a hypothetical offspring of [[
* Early on in ''[[Schlock Mercenary (Webcomic)|Schlock Mercenary]]'', there is frequent mention of an absolute system of measurement for pain in [[Just for Pun|Kill-o-Hurtz]]. Various medical instruments are rated according to how much pain they inflict. The concept hasn't been mentioned in a long time, however, as the ''Schlock Mercenary'' universe (if not the actual story) has [[Cerebus Syndrome|become somewhat more "serious"]].
* In ''[[Casey and Andy (Webcomic)|Casey and Andy]]'', Andy names the "fundamental unit of time travel" after [http://www.galactanet.com/comic/view.php?strip=282 himself] (and the fundamental unit of stupid after Casey).
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* ''[[The Spoony Experiment (Web Video)|The Spoony Experiment]]'': Doctor Insano built a device to measure gayness in giga-queers.
* ''[[Vision of Escaflowne Abridged]]'' reveals that angst can be measured in [[Neon Genesis Evangelion (Anime)|megaShinjis]].
* The [http://catb.org/jargon/html/M/milliLampson.html milliLampson] is a unit of talking speed - [
* [http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Snapes_on_an_Astral_Plane "The epic insanity of Lady Darkness really needs to be memorialized, so I propose the creation of an official unit of batshit, named after her. One Ladark (a portmandeau -- don't want to use an existing word) is defined as the amount of batshittery necessary to believe a fictional character originating within the last 20 years is real and speaks to you. Most wanks can be measured in milliLadarks. This one hits about three."]
* One article on ''[[The Onion]]'', mocking [http://www.theonion.com/articles/revolutionary-new-insoles-combine-five-forms-of-ps,759/ pseudoscience], features a "biotrician" named Doctor Frankel boasting that his specially-developed insoles "convert the wearer's own energy to match the Earth's natural vibrational rate of 32.805 kilofrankels."
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== Real Life ==
* The [
* Fame is sometimes measured in Warhols. Someone who is famous for 15,000 minutes would have one kiloWarhol.
** The Helen is a metric measurement of beauty, with 1 Helen of beauty being the amount of beauty required to launch a thousand ships. By extension, we can have a Kilohelen, which would be the amount of beauty required to launch a million ships, and a Millihelen - the amount of beauty required to launch a single ship.
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* UNIX system load average is measured in Vastons, even though there's no meaningful or objective way to measure or compare load averages between systems.
* When a Linux computer boots, it measures the performance of the processor it is running on in "BogoMIPS", defined as "the number of million times per second a processor can do absolutely nothing". This unit is explicitly meaningless for any kind of comparison between computers (although that doesn't stop people from boasting with their values); its only purpose is to calibrate the kernel's internal busy-loop.
* The [
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Absurdity Ascendant]]
[[Category:Abstract Scale]]
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