Additional Evil Overlord List Cellblock A: Difference between revisions

* Instead of attempting to take over the world starting with highly developed countries, I will start my world conquest in Southern Asia and Africa (or whatever Universe I happen to be stuck in's equivalent to an area that is poor, badly defended, and has little importance on the global market.) The plan goes as follows:

** Buy lots of weapons. Key elements include RPGs, tanks, and a healthy amount of bulletproof vests and cheap, but effective rifles. The AK-47 should be good enough. All of these will allow my soldiers to have complete dominance over anything but a strike from the air, and that is unlikely in developing countries.

*** [[Rule of Cool|And it must be sufficiently cool.]]

*** As long as it does not make me a ripoff of [[Star Wars|Darth Vader]].

** If for some reason I must wear a mask, I will try to make it something that is not sinister in some manner. Things such as skulls, demons, etc. tend to unsettle subordinates, lower moral and [[Color Coded for Your Convenience|make myself a more obvious target for assassination attempts]].

*** If I must wear such a mask for whatever reason I will require all my minions to wear the same mask to confuse said possible assassin.

*** Then, I will send the footage to one of those home-video television shows, whereupon I will undoubtedly win the grand-prize at the end of the season. If this fails in America, I will send it [[South of the Border]]. They love the [[Groin Attack]] there.

** Alternatively, the drinks are free but laced with slow-acting poison to which [[Find the Cure|only I (supposedly) have the cure]]. I will use this as leverage to force the heroes to get me a [[MacGuffin]], at which point I will break tradition and actually give the hero the cure I promised. However, the 'cure' I give will actually be a ''fast''-acting poison that kills him in half an hour.

** [[Portal (series)|There will be cake.]]

** Why am I building a [[Circus of Fear]] again? Screw this—I will hire a competent psychiatrist to remove the compulsion that led me to do this in the first place and then go and do something ''useful''. To assuage my needs, I will build a ''regular'' [[Amusement Park]] with an [[Of Doom]] theme. That oughta scratch my itch and provide some much-needed funding for the real plans.

*** Just buy Disney altogether. It probably rules, like, half of the world already. And then put subliminal messaging in the movies/television shows/music.

**** Except Pixar movies. We shan't be ruining those.

** Instead of making an amusement park of doom, let's make everything funnier and far more overpriced than Disney! Ah, and it'll have anime. Heroes love anime.

* If I ever feel the need to slow down the hero's progress by placing doors that can only be opened once he has a certain number of [[Plot Coupon]]s, I won't bother creating a large number of such doors requiring an increasing number of items. Instead there will be a single door, right at the beginning, that [[Locked Door|cannot be opened]] until the hero has all of them. Needless to say, all plot coupons are on the other side of the door.

* I will always keep in mind that nothing slows down the hero's progress quite like being dead, and remind myself not to settle for second best.

** Make this top priority. Heroes and deadness don't go together well.

**** If he does, be prepared. Rearrange his corpse with explosives, so the minute he comes back you can just blow him up.

***** Why not just blow him up the instant his body is found? If his friends don't need the body to bring him back, it's not like wiring his corpse is going to do much good anyway.

** I will follow the example of the original literary [[Fu Manchu]] and wear a ''false'' moustache or other obvious identifying feature while in public, thus making both anonymity and disguise easier.

** Note: this does not work well with non-Asians.

** The punishment for failure in my minions shall be demotion or dismissal, not execution. As said before, people make mistakes, and killing does not inspire loyalty or encourage new recruits to join.

*** [[Career-Building Blunder|Possibly even a warning not to let it happen again.]] I will be judicious with that one, but it does inspire loyalty.

*** We're playing at their expectations to lure them into a false sense of security.

*** Anyone who uses the phrase "false sense of security" will be shot. If he's smart, the hero won't buy it anyway. [[Idiot Hero|If he's not]], there are much more effective ways to kill him.

** I will remember that [[Dangerously Genre Savvy|very competent]] opponents will [[I Know You Know I Know|likely be doing the same thing in reverse]].

** I will, however, note that not everyone goes into fiction that well and just hope they are [[Genre Blind]] idiots.

*** If virginity is really that important, I will select a homely child and carefully screen the minions responsible for the abduction so as to eliminate any with a known attraction to the child's gender or age.

** And I will also keep in mind that [[Infant Immortality|it will fail anyway]].

** I will always check the bare requirements for a Virgin Sacrifice, if possible I will use a eunuch cult member volunteer from my own cult or similar.

** Since I plan to have orphans, I'll just one of my own.

* I will hire an advisor whose sole job will be to criticize my plans and point out their flaws. I will listen to him.

** If said advisor claims that my plan is flawless, I will execute him, solely so that the person who gets the job after him can be forced to watch the execution, eyelids held open with duct tape.

** I will ''always'' include one very obvious flaw in plans I make myself. Should the advisor not catch it, even if he is useful in finding out not-so-obvious flaws in my grand plan, he is to be executed on the spot, as one has to look at the big picture, not just small details that might slip through the cracks. The flaw should be easy to catch and occasionally very hard to catch every few times a specific advisor is used, so that I can accurately gauge their effectiveness in finding them.

** Wasn't this already covered in the original list?

*** On second thought, I will have it teleport the intruder into the Dungeon. That way, if [[The Hero]] DOES hack it, I won't die a painful death, my loyal mooks will get me out of there and reboot the entire surveillance system. [[Mook Face Turn|If they don't]], I'll free myself using the cell key that I carry with me at all time and have them executed.

* I will never try to steal the power of a god.

** Leasing, renting or bartering for the power of a God, on the other hand, are all viable options, assuming I can find a trustworthy God amenable to the idea.

** I will remember than any God amenable to the idea of giving ''me'' power is probably about as far away from trustworthy as you can get. I will instead devote my resources to figuring out how to [[A God Am I|ascend on my own merits]].

** There are [[Blatant Lies|only two]] detonation triggers: my personal escape pod and the aforementioned button. In case my personal escape pod is boarded by the heroes (which I would have to disobey the original list to allow in any case) I will have a third detonation trigger for the escape pod given to my most trusted lieutenant. And even that will only work [[Taking You with Me|after I'm already dead]], so no assassination attempts.

 

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[[Category:Evil Tropes]]