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All Take and No Give: Difference between revisions
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In the first variant, the Taker knows the Giver is insecure and [[Love Hungry|wants to feel needed and wanted]], so they [[Manipulative Bastard|manipulate]] and extort the Giver into [[Living Emotional Crutch|giving them what they want]] in exchange for morsels of affection. These relationships are typically led by a domineering [[Bratty Half Pint]], [[Fantasy-Forbidding Father]] or [[Clingy Jealous Girl]] over an [[Extreme Doormat]].
The other variant is a bit more disturbing. Rather than the Taker being in charge, it's the Giver who is in control. It's not that they're [[Chronic Hero Syndrome|pathologically compelled]] to [[Good Samaritan|generosity]], but a deep desire to [[Control Freak|control]] and even ''own'' the Taker... so they work to make them completely psychologically and physically dependent, and may in fact cripple their ability to do some (or all) things. This is the hallmark of [[My Beloved Smother]], who may impair or retard their child's growth to keep them [[
The middle ground is akin to [[The Masochism Tango]], both the Giver and the Taker are in a deeply co-dependent relationship they can't break out of. Maybe they're a Sugar Daddy and a shop happy floozy, a parent who can't stand to say "no" and an emotionally needy [[Spoiled Brat]], or an indulgent monarch raising a [[Royal Brat]]. In all variations, both participants will be unwilling or unable to leave, change or even identify the relationship.
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Compare [[Taking Advantage of Generosity]] (although that doesn't require a couple).
{{examples
== [[Anime]] & [[Manga]] ==
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* And another [[Stephen King]] example: In ''[[IT]]'', Eddie and his mother (in the past) and Eddie and his wife (in the book's present) both come off as the second variety of [[All Take and No Give]], with the woman as the domineering Giver, and Eddie as the Taker who is being controlled.
* In ''[[Atlas Shrugged]]'', Hank Rearden's idle family live off his success and insult him for it at the same time. An even more explicit version of the second type is railroad executive James Taggart's marriage to Cherryl Brooks; his lifting her out of her life as a dime-store worker left her as a [[Fish Out of Water]] unable to cope in her husband's social circle and dependent on him for everything -- and that's just what he wanted. Cherryl [[Go Mad From the Revelation|Goes Mad From The Revelation]] when she realizes this; James does the same when he can't hide from his motivation any longer.
* In one lesser-known story by German author [[Janosch (Creator)|Janosch]] about a donkey falling in love with an owl. (With the donkey being the giver, and the owl being the taker.) Does he want to suggest that men in love should act like that?! Now that's a [[Family
* In ''[[Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets]]'', there's the implication that {{spoiler|Ginny's relationship with Tom Riddle was the second variant, obviously with Riddle as the manipulative Giver of his companionship and Ginny as the controlled Taker}}.
** Of course, it goes the other way as well. {{spoiler|As Ginny eagerly poured out her heart and soul to Tom Riddle, he fed off of it to the point where he had sucked nearly all of the life out of her.}}
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* [[House (TV)|House]] and Wilson are almost a subversion of this, since their relationship, while strange and disturbing, actually seems to ''work'' for both of them - House's selfishness has prevented him from having any other friends, and while Wilson keeps embracing vulnerable people and nursing them towards health and self-confidence, he invariably loses all interest in them once they no longer need him to take care of them. The only person who could put up with the ultimate Giver in the long run is the ultimate Taker, and vice versa.
* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]'' -- Spike and Buffy's "relationship" in season 6, with Buffy as Taker and Spike as Giver. They seem caught between the two types - he puts up with truly ''ridiculous'' amounts of abuse from her due to obsessive love, yet is constantly trying to drag her into the darkness.
** This may be [[Laser
* On ''[[The Sarah Silverman Program]]'' Sarah is The "Taker" to her Sister, Laura. Sarah refuses to work. All her money and her apartment is provided to her by her sister, for which Laura receives zero gratitude.
* Fans of ''[[Gossip Girl]]'' often complain about how Nate and Chuck's friendship is like this, ironically with [[Chronic Hero Syndrome|Nate]] being the taker and [[Jerkass|Chuck]] the giver. Chuck will always bend over backwards to help Nate while Nate had to be forced by Blair to help get Chuck off the barstool and attend his father's funeral. And that's still one of Nate's best displays of friendship.
** Nate is also the Taker to Blair's Giver when they're together.
* On ''[[Veronica Mars]]'', the titular character often slips into this, particularly with respect to her friend Wallace. Veronica falls into the Type 1 version, as the "Taker", with Wallace being the "Giver." It gets to the point where [[What the Hell, Hero?|she gets rightfully called out on it.]]
* Pretty much the relationship between the Winchesters and Castiel, from ''[[Supernatural (TV)|Supernatural]]'', with the latter being the Giver. While Cas has done an endless list of things for Sam and Dean (usually at the cost of his own well being), if he asked something from the Winchesters twice, that's more than this troper can remember. However, although he doesn't usually gets as much as a "thanks" in return, what has really been irking some fans is that, on the one time Cas actually needed the Winchesters to support him, they failed to do so. {{spoiler|It's arguable that the whole Leviathan business could have been avoided if only Sam and Dean had listened to Cas, instead of turning on him for making a deal with a demon... something the Winchesters themselves do on a daily basis.}}
* Arguably, initially [[Sherlock]] and John. John is extremely tolerant of Sherlock, who makes no efforts to be either easy to live with or particularly accommodating, allowing John to even be arrested while helping him, and both killing for Sherlock and putting his life on the line. Ultimately averted, however, when {{spoiler|Sherlock allows the world to believe he is a fake and fakes his death so John and his other friends won't get hurt.}}
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* Elly Patterson of ''[[For Better or For Worse]]'' is an interesting example. She considers herself to be the victim of the first variant, ''slaving'' away for an unappreciative family who never offer any help or support whatsoever to their poor, put-upon mother. However, it's [[Alternative Character Interpretation|just as easy]] to view her as a self-absorbed shrew with a martyr complex who wants to 'own the horses' by manipulating her children and raising them to remain [[My Beloved Smother|hopelessly reliant on her]] or an Elly-approved spouse.
** It doesn't help the writer's reboot makes the husband an over-the-top horrible man (who was based on her [[Real Life]] husband before that relationship went sour. So... yeah.
* Carol, the secretary to [[Dilbert]]'s [[Pointy
* Roxanne of ''[[Candorville]]'' expects Lemont to bend entirely to her will, with no sense of compromise. There are indications that this is how she handles any relationship, sexual or otherwise.
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{{quote| '''King K.Rool''': "It's great to be a king. I seem to have a knack for taking everything I want and giving nothing back!"}}
* Mr. Burns is like this to Smithers on ''[[The Simpsons (Animation)|The Simpsons]]'', much of the time. On the other hand, Smithers doesn't seem to mind, since he has an almost pathological need to serve Burns. When his boss fired him, he quickly became a drunken wreck, spending his days drinking cheap Scotch and watching [[Comedy Central]]. When Homer accidentally crippled Burns by pushing him out of a third-story window, forcing him to be waited on hand and foot by Smithers, Smithers sent the Simpsons a very large basket of fruit as thanks.
* This is the main [[Aesop]] of the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic (Animation)|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]]'' episode [[My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic (Animation)/Recap/S2 E5 Sisterhooves Social|"Sisterhooves Social"]].
== [[Real Life]] ==
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