Ask a Stupid Question: Difference between revisions

[[File:snappyanswer_4136.png|link=Mad Magazine|right]]

{{quote|''"I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I, I say to him, I say 'Hey, you want me to help you with that?' And Marty, he just [[Sarcasm Mode|rolls his eyes]] and goes '''Noooo'', [[Be Careful What You Wish For|I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!]]'<br />

 

... and you'll [[Get a Stupid Answer]].

This is not only when that question is asked, but to the frustrated individual this is their chance to strike back with a non-sequitur, either in a [[Deadpan Snarker]] retort or full on [[Mind Screw]] confusion. A specific variation of [[Sarcasm Mode]].

 

 

[[Bill Engvall]]'s "[[Heres Your Sign|Here's Your Sign]]" routine was dedicated to these exchanges. [[Mad Magazine]] also had a section called [[Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions]] written by Al Jaffee.

** When told that [[Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince|a sixth-year Gryffindor had deliberately cast a Dark curse on a sixth-year Slytherin - a curse he knew nothing about except that it was "for enemies"]] - Harry is unable to stop himself from asking "Are you serious?" No, Quirrell is in a bad mood today for no reason.

** When {{spoiler|Bellatrix Black}} incredulously says "I'm... alive...?", Harry is tempted to say "no" just to see how she reacts.

{{quote| '''Jellybean:''' Did you have that on you the entire time?<br />

'''Jack:''' No, I teleported back to the Looking Glass while we were running from the Jabberwock and stole it then. }}

 

== Films -- Animation ==

{{quote| '''Mr. Tweedy:''' What is it? <br />

'''Mrs. Tweedy:''' It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.<br />

{{quote| '''Hanks:''' The president of what?<br />

'''Candy:''' The president of the Three Stooges fan club. The President of the United States! }}

{{quote| '''Farrell:''' Did you ''see that!?''<br />

'''<nowiki>McClane:</nowiki>''' Yeah, I saw it, I ''did'' it! }}

{{quote| '''Treehorn's Thug:''' ''(holding a bowling ball)'' What's this?<br />

'''The Dude:''' Obviously, you're not a golfer. }}

 

== Literature ==

** Zaphod is asked if he's THE Zaphod Beeblebrox. "No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox. Haven't you heard, we come in six packs?".

** Zaphod does this a lot, but it's especially heavy in that episode. Right after that:

'''Roosta:''' A friend.<br />

'''Zaphod:''' Oh yeah? Anyone's friend in particular or just generally well disposed to people? }}

{{quote| '''Rachel:''' No way. ''George'' Washington?<br />

'''Marco:''' Jake, tell her, "No, ''Guido'' Washington."<br />

{{quote| "Catching up on our reading, are we?"<br />

"No, I'm trying to burn a hole through paper with my retina." }}

* ''[[The Dark Tower]]'' book ''[[The Dark Tower (Literature)/Wizard and Glass|Wizard and Glass]]'' has a villain ask his second-in-command how many of their men are armed. The second asks, "With guns?" prompting the villain to reply, "No, with pea-blowers, you damned fool."

* From ''[[Rivers of London]]'', when Peter compares magic to jazz:

{{quote| '''Peter:''' You know how jazz is all about improvising on a melody?<br />

 

== Live-Action TV ==

{{quote| '''Brent:''' Whoa, what are you doing?<br />

'''Emma:''' We're building a haunted house for Halloween. }}

** The title character is of course a repeat offender:

{{quote| '''Cuddy:''' Chase and Cameron are together?<br />

'''Cameron:''' He was shot?!<br />

'''House:''' ... No, somebody threw it at him. }}

** Dorothy is ''made'' of this kind of sarcasm.

{{quote| '''Dorothy:''' Have you ever given a eulogy?<br />

'''Josh:''' The disease?<br />

'''C.J.:''' No, the dessert topping, Josh. Yes, the disease! }}

** In "iQuit iCarly", Spencer enters singing and dancing with joy:

{{quote| '''Spencer:''' I won the boat! I won the boat! I won the boooat!<br />

'''Spencer:''' Ninety degrees?<br />

'''Sam:''' No, ninety pickles! Yes ninety degrees! }}

{{quote| '''McGee:''' You ran ''all'' the faces?<br />

'''Abby:''' No. Halfway through, I was just like "screw this!" and I quit. }}

** In one episode, Dawn finds her sister sitting on her bed, reading a magazine and asks:

{{quote| '''Dawn:''' What are you doing?<br />

'''Xander:''' No, Will, they're going to be clog dancing.<br />

'''Willow:''' Cibo Matto can clog dance? }}

{{quote| '''Dick:''' I can't get his face out of my mind!<br />

'''Nina:''' Strudwick's?<br />

'''Dick:''' ''(serene voice)'' No, Nina, little Davey Tenant, the boy down the block. You see, ever since Davey was three years old, he's wanted more than anything to see a real professional baseball game. He wished the biggest wish his little heart could muster. But his dad was laid off and couldn't afford the tickets. Well, one day last week, little Davey was outside playing ball like he always does, and who should walk up the block, tall as a building, but home run king Mark McGwire. To see little Davey's face light up as Mc Gwire handed him four seats on the first base line, well, it's something that I will never forget. ''(pause)'' YES, STRUDWICK'S! DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS! }}

** In one episode, Joey is upset at his co-star Wayne, who is about to have him fired:

{{quote| '''Wayne:''' Joey, I'll get you your job back if you help me out.<br />

'''Rachel:''' Settle what?<br />

'''Chandler:''' The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land so... }}

{{quote| '''Lestrade:''' So she was writing 'Rachel'?<br />

'''Sherlock:''' No, [[Mythology Gag|she was writing an angry note in German]]. Of COURSE she was writing Rachel! }}

{{quote| '''Martha:''' (thinking about Harry Potter) You mean the films?<br />

'''Tenth Doctor:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|No, the Novelization.]] }}

{{quote| '''Rimmer:''' Lister, is that a cigarette you're smoking?<br />

'''Lister:''' No, it's a chicken. }}

== Music ==

* The song "Foolish Questions".

{{quote| ''Now instead of four in the eights place<br />

You've got three, 'cause you added one,<br />

 

== Tabletop Games ==

{{quote| '''Troubleshooter:''' How did all these people get drugged?<br />

'''Drugged Citizen:''' They drank the water. Snrfff.<br />

 

== Web Animation ==

{{quote| '''Church-in-Sarge's-body:''' Uhh... Who ya talking to red? Me?<br />

'''Grif:''' No, I'm talking to Lopez, because, you know, that's real rewarding. }}

** [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/3/13/ This strip.]

** Also [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/2/5/ this one.]

 

 

''([[Beat]])''<br />

'''Superman:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|Do I]] ''[[Sarcasm Mode|look]]'' [[Sarcasm Mode|okay?]] }}

** A variant when Batman and GL are chasing a villain through a time tunnel:

{{quote| '''Green Lantern:''' No-one can see the beginning of time! [[And That's Terrible|It's a universal law!]]<br />

''([[Beat|stares]])''<br />

"Sorry, standard question." }}

{{quote| '''Rainbow Dash:''' Pinkie Pie, you asleep yet?<br />

'''Pinkie Pie:''' No. Are you asleep yet?<br />

'''Rainbow Dash:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|No, Fluttershy]].<br />

'''Pinkie Pie:''' [[Sarcasm Blind|Fluttershy's not a tree, silly]]. }}

{{quote| '''Mr. Plotz:''' When will all this insanity end?!<br />

'''Dot:''' When one of us answers the phone, silly.<br />

'''Mr. Plotz:''' I did not know that. }}

{{quote| '''Cheetor, recently having gotten a flying [[Mid-Season Upgrade]] he's itching to use:''' You mean fly?<br />

'''Rattrap:''' No, I mean take a submarine. ''Of course I mean fly!'' }}