Asymmetric Dilemma: Difference between revisions

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The archetype for this sort of joke is "If I had bacon, I could have bacon and eggs. If I had eggs."
 
Another very famous example comes from the movie ''[[Butch Cassidy and Thethe Sundance Kid]]'': About to jump from a high precipice into a river below, Sundance points out that he can't swim. "You crazy?" says Butch, "The ''fall'' will probably kill you!"
 
This joke often overlaps with [[I Would Say If I Could Say]], where a character can't use a common expression because it ''technically'' doesn't apply to them, like [[The Undead]] claiming to be "breathless with anticipation".
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== [[Literature]] ==
* The "bacon and eggs" variant shows up in [[Timothy Zahn]]'s ''[[Star Wars]]'' novels. "[[Hold Your Hippogriffs|If we had bruallki, we could have bruallki and menkoroo -- if we had some menkoroo]]."
* In ''[[Discworld (Literature)/Maskerade|Maskerade]]'', Nanny Ogg asks the other people (reluctantly) sharing a stagecoach with her if they have something to open a bottle of beer with. After someone lends her a bottle opener, she asks if anyone happens to have a bottle of beer.
* A couple of books in the ''[[Animorphs (Literature)|Animorphs]]'' series take place on the Hork-Bajir planet, where several deep chasms open down to the molten planetary core. The Arn, a winged species, have cliff dwellings extending partway down these chasms, with very thin walkways. In two separate instances, Andalites have concluded that there is no need to worry about the magma, because the body would ''probably'' be disintegrated in mid-fall.
 
== [[Live Action TV]] ==
* On ''[[Red Dwarf (TV)|Red Dwarf]]'', Kryten was fond of these:
{{quote| '''Kryten:''' What on Earth are we going to do? <br />
'''Cat:''' Hey, I got it! We laser our way through! <br />
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'''Customer:''' Wait! ''I can't read!''<br />
'''Clerk:''' You can't read? Fine, sit down! Sit! Are you sitting comfortably? Right! "Ethel the Aardvark was hopping down the river valley..." }}
* [[Blackadder (TV)|Blackadder II]] - Money, Edmund is £1000 in debt...
{{quote| '''Edmund''': So lads! I am up a certain creek without a certain instrument. Either I raise £1000 or I get murdered - what should I do?<br />
'''Baldrick''': It's obvious!<br />
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== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==
* The ''[[Sesame Street (TV)|Sesame Street]]'' newspaper comic strip of the early 1970s had a variation on the "bacon and eggs" archetype: A little girl says, "If I had more light ... I could read a book ... if I had a book ... if I could read."
* Similarly, in Walt Kelley's comic strip ''[[Pogo (Comiccomic Stripstrip)|Pogo]]'', a slightly-recurring character was a beetle who, whenever she saw something she didn't like, [[Catch Phrase|always exclaimed]] "If I could write I'd write a nasty letter to the mayor, if he could only read."
 
== [[Web Comics]] ==
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{{quote| '''Red/Blue Unity''': We are one plumber, not three.<br />
'''Blue/Yellow Unity''': And we are not a plumber. }}
* From [http://drmcninja.com/page.php?pageNum=5&issue=3 this strip] of ''[[The Adventures of Dr. McNinja (Webcomic)|The Adventures of Dr. McNinja]]'':
{{quote| '''The Doctor''': Okay, dinosaur in my office. How could that be... The door should have been locked... Oh! And they are ''extinct''! Dinosaurs are extinct. Dinosaur can't be in the office ''because it should be extinct''.}}
** Later:
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* ''[[8-Bit Theater (Webcomic)|Eight Bit Theater]]'' '''loves''' this trope.
{{quote| '''[[Munchkin|Red Mage]]''': Wait! That is ''not'' how we do things around here, buddy. First we have to argue incessantly over semantics. Then one of us has to hurt one or all of us. Also, you're a villain.}}
* [http://xkcd.com/765/ One] ''[[Xkcd (Webcomic)|Xkcd]]'' strip has, as its alt text, two problems with a recent issue of a homeopathy magazine:
{{quote| "One, it's spelled 'echinacea', and two, homeopathic medicines are no better than placebos and your entire magazine is a sham."}}
 
== [[Western Animation]] ==
* ''[[Futurama (Animation)|Futurama]]''
{{quote| '''Zoidberg''': Oh joy, a coupon! Two oil changes for the price of one! Now if only I could afford the one. And a car.}}
* ''[[Ben 10: Alien Force (Animation)|Ben 10 Alien Force]]''
{{quote| '''Ben''': And since I don't have a car ...<br />
'''Kevin''': Or a licence.<br />