Backhanded Apology: Difference between revisions

'''Snibril''': How can you be sentenced to death for apologising?<br />

'''Pismire''': I said I was sorry, and that, on reflection, he did have the brains of a meat pie. }}

* In Kai Lung's story about the discovery of tea, the Emperor is advised to confess his sins in order to bring an end to a drought:

{{quote|“No complete record of Ming Wang’s confession now exists, all those who accompanied him having entered into a deep compact to preserve a stubborn silence. It is admitted, however, that it was of inordinate length, very explicit in its details, and that it implicated practically every courtier and official of any standing. In a final access of self-reproach the Emperor penitently admitted that he was the guilty head of a thoroughly decayed and criminal autocracy, that he weakly surrounded himself with greedy and incompetent officials, and that he had thoughtlessly permitted sycophancy, bribery and peculation to abound.”|pp. 39-40 of Ernest Bramah, ''Kai Lung unrolls his Mat'' (1928; repr. Penguin, 1937).}}

== Live Action TV ==

* ''[[House]]'' is forced to apologize to Cuddy's mother: "I'm sorry...that we saved your life", he starts, and then steers it back to a straight apology: "...in the way that we did". Wilson gives the apology a B+.

{{quote| '''Maurice:''' I apologize that your abominable behavior had so exhausted my patience that I was goaded into a slight transgression.}}

* ''[[The Closer]]'': Assistant Chief Pope has received numerous complaints about friction between Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson and other legal departments, and so has ordered her to apologize to the offended parties.

* On ''[[Babylon 5]]'', Sheridan's apology to the Centauri firmly cemented him as an awesome replacement to Sinclair. It's just a pity he never got to carry it out to them.

{{quote| '''Sheridan:''' I apologize. I'm... sorry. I'm sorry we had to defend ourselves against an unwarranted attack. I'm sorry that your crew was stupid enough to fire on a station filled with a quarter million civilians, including your own people. And I'm sorry I waited as long as I did before I blew them all straight to hell! ...'[[Ironic Echo|As with everything else, it's the thought that counts]].'}}

{{quote| Prince: I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth.<br />

Merlin: Wow, and how long have you been training to be a 'prat'?<br />

Prince: (Having had enough) You ''can't'' address me like that.<br />

Merlin: Sorry... How long have you been training to be a 'prat'...''My Lord''? }}

{{quote| '''Carla''': I didn't mean to upset you. Even though everything I said was true, and you know it.<br />

'''Turk''': Baby, that is a God-awful apology. Just God-awful.<br />

'''Jordan''': Yeah, that's 'cause she's not really sorry. }}

* ''[[The Colbert Report]]'': Stephen likes to invert this by proclaiming "I accept your apology" to someone who has not, in fact, apologized in any way.

* ''[[Monty Python's Flying Circus]]'':

{{quote| WE WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAY IN WHICH POLITICIANS ARE REPRESENTED IN THIS PROGRAMME. IT WAS NEVER OUR INTENTION TO IMPLY THAT POLITICIANS ARE WEAK-KNEED, POLITICAL TIME-SERVERS WHO ARE CONCERNED MORE WITH THEIR PERSONAL VENDETTAS AND PRIVATE POWER STRUGGLES THAN THE PROBLEMS OF GOVERNMENT, NOR TO SUGGEST AT ANY POINT THAT THEY SACRIFICE THEIR CREDIBILITY BY DENYING FREE DEBATE ON VITAL MATTERS IN THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT PARTY UNITY COMES BEFORE THE WELL-BEING OF THE PEOPLE THEY SUPPOSEDLY REPRESENT NOR TO IMPLY AT ANY STAGE THAT THEY ARE SQUABBLING LITTLE TOADIES WITHOUT AN OUNCE OF CONCERN FOR THE VITAL SOCIAL PROBLEMS OF TODAY. NOR INDEED DO WE INTEND THAT VIEWERS SHOULD CONSIDER THEM AS CRABBY ULCEROUS LITTLE SELF-SEEKING VERMIN WITH FURRY LEGS AND AN EXCESSIVE ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND CERTAIN EXPLICIT SEXUAL PRACTICES WHICH SOME PEOPLE MIGHT FIND OFFENSIVE.}}

 

== Newspaper Comics ==

{{quote| '''Danae:''' Sorry if you mistook something I said as somehow being offensive. Now everyone should stop dwelling on the past and just get over it.}}

 

== Video Games ==

 

 

== Webcomics ==

== Western Animation ==

 

* ''[[The Boondocks]]'':

{{quote| '''Riley''':Mrs. Dubois, I'm sorry your cobbler look like throw-up with peas in it.}}

{{quote| '''Peter:''' Hey, hey, hey. Easy, fella. That's my kid. Now apologize.<br />

'''Douchebag<ref>who looks like a guy but is really a stupendously ugly fat chick</ref>:''' Okay. I'm sorry your kid's a brain-dead stinking blue cheese fatass. }}

 

 

{{quote| "Mr Dave Hughes has issued a public apology to Mr Kyle Sandilands, who has made comments in the past days in reference to remarks made by Mr Hughes at the 2007 TV Week Logie Awards. Mr Hughes said : 'I am sincerely and deeply sorry that Kyle Sandilands is a massive dickhead.' Mr Hughes hopes that this sincere and unreserved apology will put this ugliness to rest and stop Mr Sandilands from going to jail. Mr Hughes further remarked: 'No one deserves to go to jail just for being a massive dickhead. Massive dickheads have the same rights as normal people.' Mr Hughes is not available for further comment on this matter."}}

* On Fandom Wank, this is known as a [http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Heidipology Heidipology].

* [[Dave Barry]] once wrote a column about telemarketers which included the phone number of a major telemarketing company. Over the course of the following week, that company got swamped with so many calls from people complaining about being harassed by telemarketers that they couldn't get any work done. Dave Barry's next column covered this reaction, and ended with a highly sarcastic apology to the telemarketing company for the trouble he caused them, which included the phrase "I probably should not say that your new phone number is..."

* Following a tweet by Chris Brown, Andy Levy made a comment about domestic abuse. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOjUKwoHUyw Here] is his apology to said comment.

* First rule of PR. Don't apologize for making a mistake, hurting someone's feelings, offending a social group. Instead apologize, but accuse them taking your words out of context and being offended on purpose/being sensitive. To many examples to list. "Sorry If This Thing Offended You" is not an apology in most circles.

** Late 2011 presented an archetypal example from Paul Christoforo of Ocean Marketing who, in the course of publicly abusing some customers, did not believe that one of the people he was talking to ran [[Penny Arcade]]. [http://www.popehat.com/2011/12/27/outsource-your-marketing-outsource-your-reputation-and-ethics-applies-to-every-industry/ Hilarity ensued.] The [http://www.popehat.com/2011/12/28/internet-justice-and-paul-christoforos-awful-non-apology/ series of non-apologies was summarized] as "Sorry, I wouldn't have done that if I had known I couldn't get away with it."

{{quote| I'd like to apologize to my viewers and my staff for the failure of Current TV.}}