Badass Boast/Literature: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

** Zeus gets an epic one at the beginning of Book 8, daring the other gods to defy him

{{quote| Come, try me, immortals, so all of you can learn.<br />

bind it fast and leave the whole world dangling in mid-air--<br />

that is how far I tower over the gods, I tower over men. }}

{{quote| "When it comes to fighting, I count myself<br />

as dangerous any day as Grendel.<br />

* In ''[[The Bible]]'' David gets a kickass boast when he's squared off against Goliath. First Samuel 17:45-47

{{quote| "Then said David to the Philistine, Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom thou hast defied. This day will the LORD deliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. And all this assembly shall know that the LORD saveth not with sword and spear: for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give you into our hands."}}

{{quote| '''Fëanor:''' "Then turning to the herald he cried: 'Say this to Manwë Sûlimo, High King of Arda: if Fëanor cannot overthrow Morgoth, at least he delays not to assail him, and sits not idle in grief. And it may be that Eru has set in me a fire greater than thou knowest. Such hurt at the least will I do to the Foe of the Valar that even the mighty in the Ring of Doom shall wonder to hear it. Yea, in the end they shall follow me. Farewell!'"}}

** Note that this is made even MORE badass by the next line which is something like. "And so powerful was the force of his voice that even Eönwë, herald of the High-King bowed as one full answered." Basically Feanor's boast was so badass that the herald of a GOD (who is also a small-g god himself) went "Alright then...I'll just go now."

** The Challenge Of Fingolfin. "Come, open wide,dark king, your ghastly brazen doors! Come forth, whom earth and heaven abhors! Come forth, O monstrous craven lord,and fight with thine own hand and sword,thou wielder of hosts of banded thralls,thou tyrant leaguered with strong walls,thou foe of Gods and elvish race! I wait thee here. Come! Show thy face!" Bear in mind he's talking to LOTR's equivalent of ''Satan''.

{{quote| '''Bilbo''': "I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air. I am he that walks unseen. I am the clue finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number. I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me."}}

** And then subverted when part of his boast ("I am barrel-rider") sets Smaug off on a killing spree against an innocent town, leaving Bilbo to curse himself. Granted, this also results in Smaug's ''death''.

** Smaug responds in kind: "My armor is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt, my wings a hurricane, and my breath death."

{{quote| '''Galadriel:''' "And now at last it comes. You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!"}}

** This is what Galadriel ''would'' have become if she'd taken the [[Artifact of Doom|Ring]], but she resists the temptation in the end, and is relieved at it.

*** Later, Faramir introduces him similarly to the people of Gondor.

{{quote| '''Faramir:''' "Here is Aragorn son of Arathorn, chieftain of the Dunedain of Arnor, Captain of the Host of the West, bearer of the Star of the North, wielder of the Sword Reforged, victorious in battle, whose hands bring healing, the Elfstone, Elessar of the line of Valandil, Isildur's son, Elendil's son of Numenor."}}

*** To which Aragorn responds with yet another one: "No enemy has yet taken the Hornburg. Depart, or not one of you will be spared. Not one will be left alive to [[Bring News Back|take back]] [[Bearer of Bad News|tidings to the North]]. You do not know your peril."

** To drive the point home, he does the same at the end of the message when he names his brother Edmund as his messenger: "...our well-beloved and royal brother Edmund, sometime King under us in Narnia, Duke of Lantern Waste and Count of the Western March, Knight of the Noble Order of the Table."

** He has also, at this point, come out on top in a fight with a werewolf whose *own* [[Badass Boast]] used to provide the trope's page quote: "I'm hunger. I'm thirst. Where I bite, I hold till I die, and even after death they must cut out my mouthful from my enemy's body and bury it with me. I can fast a hundred years and not die. I can lie a hundred nights on the ice and not freeze. I can drink a river of blood and not burst. Show me your enemies."

{{quote| "I am Wulfgar, Dragon's Bane!"}}

* Subverted in Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem "Ozymandias": all the remains of a statue is the legs, the head, and the inscription: "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings / Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" The subversion comes from the fact that Ozymadius's empire is now empty desert, and his triumphant statue is nothing but a ruin. All that is left of his mighty works is a boast.

* In [[Roger Zelazny]]'s ''Jack of Shadows'', the eponymous character spouts off with this (literally true) gem: "I am Jack of Shadows! Shadowjack the Thief! I was beheaded in Igles and rose again in the Dung Pits of Glyve. I duped the lord of High Dudgeon in his keep and took his prize and pride. I am the prisoner in the jewel. I am the breaker of the Compact. I drank the blood of a vampire and ate a stone. So beware, all those who love the Lord of Bats or loathe me, for I have named myself Jack of Shadows!"

* Romsca's [[Villain Song]] {{spoiler|pre [[Heel Face Turn]]}} in ''[[Redwall|Pearls of Lutra]]'', in which she brags to her crew and the Monitor lizards;

* From [[David Gemmell]]'s ''Legend'', [[Badass Grandpa]] Druss introduces himself to the poorly disciplined officers of the hopelessly overmatched garrison by flipping over the bar, punching a man clear across the room, and then introducing himself:

{{quote| "I am Druss. Sometimes called [[An Axe to Grind|Captain of the Axe]]. In Ventria they call me Druss the Sender. In Vagria I am merely the Axeman. To the Nadir I am [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|Deathwalker]]. In Lentria I am the Silver Slayer. But who are you? You dung-eating lumps of offal! Who the hell are ''you''? I have a mind to set an example today. I have a mind to cut the fat from this ill-fated fortress."}}

{{quote| "No shadow shows itself to those eyes, for I am the city's sun and moon and morning star. I am her every lamp. Even my own shadow hides from me, turned traitor by the ache of darkness for light.<br />

I am Yawgmoth." }}

* ''[[1632]]'': From a placard left by the Americans after they dealt with a few mercenaries:

{{quote| This area is now under the protection of the UMWA. If you try to harm or rob anybody we will kill you. There will be no further warning. We will not negotiate. We will not arrest you. You will simply be dead. We guarantee it. Go ahead. Try us.}}

{{quote| "I'm Captain Trenchard! The Dagger of the Sea! I've sailed the Straits of Darkness on Midwinter's Day! My ship's the Raptor and I've taken her into the Seven Lower Hells, drunk ale with Kahooli and sailed home again! My mother was a sea dragon, my father was lightning and I dance a sailor's jig on my victim's skulls! I fought with the war god and kissed death herself. Men tremble at my shadow and women swoon at my name and no one lives who can call me liar!"}}

* The panserbjorne (armored bears), Iorek and Iofur, in ''[[His Dark Materials|The Golden Compass / Northern Lights]]'' start their duel to the death with a ritualized series of proclamations: mostly what they'll do if they win, but also to show off their badassery to the other bears.

*** Minutes later, he threatened her to destroy her if she ever tried a gambit like the one they'd just survived.

*** He also asked for some Listerine.

{{quote| '''Teatime''': I am no thief. But if I were, I'd be the kind that steals fire from the gods!"<br />

'''Susan''': We already have fire.<br />

'''Captain Jenkins''': What's the other one?<br />

'''Sam Vimes''': Me. }}

{{quote| '''Assassin:''' Who the hell are you?<br />

'''Vimes:''' THE LAW, YOU SONS OF BITCHES. }}

{{quote| As far as they are concerned I AM far reaching consequences!}}

{{quote|I am not here to keep to darkness out. I'm here to keep it in. Call me... the Guarding Dark. Imagine how powerful I must be.|He then backs it up by throwing the 10,000 year old quasi-demonic pan-dimensional ''thing'' of vengance that's been trying to possess him out of his head, becoming the first person to survive it.}}

** One of the gods gets one in ''The Last Hero'':

'''Salzella''': A bad witch, no doubt?<br />

'''Granny''': Worse. }}

* The ''[[Sword of Truth]]'' book ''Temple of the Winds'' has this example:

{{quote| "You don't even have your weapon."<br />

** It runs in the family. His ancestor "Half Cocked" Jack Shaftoe uttered this [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|boast]] (combined with [[Bring News Back]]) in ''[[The Baroque Cycle]]'':

{{quote| "In fact I have let you live, but for one purpose only: so that you can make your way to Paris and tell them the following: that the deed you are about to witness was done for a woman, whose name I will not say, for she knows who she is; and that it was done by ''[[I Have Many Names|'Half-Cocked' Jack Shaftoe, L'Emmerdeur, the King of the Vagabonds, Ali Zaybak: Quicksilver]]''!"}}

{{quote| "I make no promises of easy triumphs, because there will be no easy triumphs. I promise you only the truth, and the truth is that the price we will ultimately pay will be even higher than the one we've already paid. That the cost of the battle which waits for us will be sacrifice, loss, backbreaking toil, blood, and grief. But I also promise you this one more thing. I promise you victory. For seventy-plus T-years, the Star Empire has lived under sentence of death, yet we're still here. And we will still be here when the smoke finally clears. However long it takes, whatever sacrifice it entails, wherever the battle takes us, and no matter what foe we may face, we will triumph, and those who have wrought such destruction and suffering upon us, who have butchered our civilians, who have attacked us from the shadows like assassins, will discover to their infinite regret that in the defense of our homes, our families, and our children, we can be just as merciless as them."}}

* Kvothe of ''[[The Name of the Wind|The Kingkiller Chronicle]]'':

* In ''[[Treasure Island]]'', Jim Hawkins, caught by the pirates and facing death, delivers one.

{{quote| "Let the worst come to the worst, it's little I care. I've seen too many die since I fell in with you. But there's a thing or two I have to tell you," I said, and by this time I was quite excited; "and the first is this: here you are, in a bad way--ship lost, treasure lost, men lost, your whole business gone to wreck; and if you want to know who did it--it was I! I was in the apple barrel the night we sighted land, and I heard you, John, and you, Dick Johnson, and Hands, who is now at the bottom of the sea, and told every word you said before the hour was out. And as for the schooner, it was I who cut her cable, and it was I that killed the men you had aboard of her, and it was I who brought her where you'll never see her more, not one of you. The laugh's on my side; I've had the top of this business from the first; I no more fear you than I fear a fly."}}

* from the otherwise obscure ''The Ring of the Slave Prince'' comes a great line which basically summarizes the book and have the bonus of being completely true:

{{quote| “I am Tom O’Connor, Grandson of [[Pirate Girl|Grainne Grainne Ne Mhaille.]] I am wanted all over the Caribbean because I kill and I set fires, I free slaves and I steal horses, they have tried to [[No One Should Survive That|drown me, shoot me, stab me, hang me, I have been whipped, robbed rolled, and keelhauled.]] They have taken my [[Perpetual Poverty|last penny]], [[Weapon of Choice|my best knife]] and one of my fingers, but Tom O’Connor is [[Made of Iron|still standing!]]”}}

{{quote| "I told you I would tell you my names. This is what they call me. I'm called Glad-of-War, Grim, Raider, and Third. I am One-Eyed. I am called Highest, and True-Guesser. I am Grimnir, and I am the Hooded One. I am All-Father, and I am Gondlir Wand-Bearer. I have as many names as there are winds, as many titles as there are ways to die. My ravens are Huginn and Muninn, Thought and Memory; my wolves are Freki and Geri; my horse is the gallows."}}

** "Horus [acknowledging his identity], I am the falcon of the morning, the hawk of the afternoon. I am the sun, as you are, and I know the True Name of Ra. My mother told me [he's gone a little crazy]"

{{quote| Unprofessional? Us? Sir. Might I with due respect remind you that Mister Vandemar and myself burned down the City of Troy? We brought the Black Plague to Flanders. We have assassinated a dozen kings, five popes, half a hundred heroes and two accredited gods. Our last commission before this was the torturing to death of an entire monastery in sixteenth century Tuscany. We are ''utterly'' professional.}}

* In [[The First Law]] trilogy, both Logen and Fenris the Feared boast before fighting in a duel to death.

{{quote| "Who comes to give greeting to the [[An Axe to Grind|Chieftainess]]? Who would taste her kiss, whereof the fruit is death? I, the Woodpecker, I, the Slaughterer, I the Swiftfooted! I, Umslopogaas, of the tribe of the Maquilisini, of the people of Amazulu, a captain of the regiment of the Nkomabakosi: I, Umslopogaas, the son of Indabazimbi, the son of Arpi the son of Mosilikaatze, I of the royal blood of T'Chaka, I of the King's House, I the Ringed Man, I the Induna, I call to them as a buck calls, I challenge them, I await them."}}

* The Scarecrow in ''[[Matthew Reilly|Scarecrow]]'', while handcuffed and locked into a guillotine:

* ''[[The Midnight Mayor]]'' by Kate Griffin has a nice example (if somewhat spoileriffic and incomprehensible unless you've read ''A Madness of Angels'', the book it's a sequel to):

{{quote| "I was the apprentice of Robert James Bakker. I'm sure you've heard of him. I am a sorcerer. I was there when Bakker died. [[Pronoun Trouble|We]]... made it happen. I too have met death, and did not have to peel the bones away from my chest to survive the encounter. I am also, and incidentally, the Midnight Mayor, the blue electric angels, the fire in the wire, the song in the telephones, and we are having a bad week. Be smart; fear us."}}

{{quote| "The only man to ever beat me was Araris Valerian. You're not Araris Valerian."}}

** Subverted in the final battle of the first book, when he says it to Fade, a seemingly harmless, mentally deficient slave. It turns out that {{spoiler|Fade ''IS'' Araris Valerian.}}

* Jason Grace [[Percy Jackson and The Olympians|from]] ''[[The Heroes of Olympus|The Lost Hero]]'' and Porphyrion have a boasting contest. Porphyrion states that he will kill Zeus, marry Hera or if she didn't like that feed her to the Earth, grow invincible by the hour, and was already strong enough to reduce Jason to a greasy spot. What did Jason have to top that.

{{quote| "I'm the son of Jupiter. I'm a child of Rome, consul to demi-gods, praetor of the First Legion. I slew the Trojan sea monster. I toppled the Black Throne of Kronos, and destroyed the Titan Krios with my own hands. And now I am going to destroy you, Porphyrion, and feed you to your own wolves."}}

{{quote| Conan bounded up on the bridge and stood poised above the upturned black faces, ax lifted, black mane blown in the wind.<br />

"Who am I?" he yelled. "Look, you dogs! Look, Ajonga, Yasunga, Laranga! ''Who am I?''"<br />

** And then there are all of Anomandaris Dragnipurake's titles: Knight of High House Dark, Lord of Moon's Spawn, Son of Darkness, Blacksword...

* Threatened with an eternity of torture by the Lamentation, a team of Bassasses from ''[[Nightside|Hex and the City]]'' dismiss its threats as follows:

"I am Pretty Poison, a [[Horny Devils|demon of the Inferno]]."<br />

"I'm Madman, and I have seen [[Go Mad From the Revelation|the Truth]]."<br />

"And I'm [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast|John Taylor]], and you wouldn't believe the shit I've seen. So [[Bring It|bring it on]]." }}

{{quote| "O White Devil, you do not want to purloin that purple fruit, for I have four thousand years of ancestors and civilization on you; my grandparents built the railroads and dug the silver mines, and my parents survived the earthquake, the fire, and a society that outlawed even being Chinese; I am mother to a dozen, grandmother to a hundred, and great-grandmother to a legion; I have birthed babies and washed the dead; I am history and suffering and wisdom; I am a Buddha and a dragon; so get your [[Precision F-Strike|fucking]] hand off my eggplant before you lose it."}}

* A rather odd one from [[Council Wars|Against the Tide]]:

** And then Swagger's response:

{{quote| "Who do I think I am? You never got it, did you? Y‘all thought [[Obfuscating Stupidity|I was some old coot from out West]], no match for Grumley killers and armed robbers and crooked-as-hell detectives. I am Bob Lee Swagger, [[Sergeant Rock|Gunnery Sergeant]], [[Semper Fi|USMC]], eighty-seven kills, [[Cold Sniper|third-ranking marine sniper]] in Vietnam. [[Badass Grandpa|I have shot it out with Salvadorian hunter-killer units and Marisol Cubano hitmen and a Russian sniper sent halfway around the world]]. I even won a sword fight or two in my time. They all had one thing in common. [[Mugging the Monster|They thought they were hunting me, and I was hunting them]]. Faced many, all are sucking grass from the bitter, root end. Here‘re your choices: You can come easy or you can come dead."}}

** ''Heroes Die:''

{{quote| '''Caine:''' "He who lives by the sword can die by my knife."}}

* [[Solomon Kane]] may say it in a more understated manner than most boasts, but...

{{quote| "It hath been my duty in times past to ease various evil men of their lives."}}

* The ''[[Gentleman Bastard]]'' Sequence has a few. One of the best is from Jean Tannen while drugged to the eyeballs in the temple of the goddess of death. Keep in mind he is twelve at the time:

{{quote| "I saw my parents burn to death. I saw my cats burn to death. Do you know the sound a cat makes when it burns? I watched and could do nothing. Do you know where to stab a man, to bring death now, or death in a minute, or death in an hour? I do. Lingering death? Two or three days of pain? I can give that too. Ha! Death the Transition? We're old friends!"}}

''"Thou pratest like an ass," said Robin, "for I could send this shaft clean through thy proud heart before a curtal friar could say grace over a roast goose at Michaelmastide."'' }}

* ''[[Peter Pan]]''--"I'm youth, I'm joy. I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg." (Note that [[Meaningless Meaningful Words|Peter himself doesn't know what this means]]. [[Rule of Cool|It just sounds cool]].)

{{quote| Villain: ''"Trust me mortal, I have no weaknesses."''<br />

Hero: ''"I can give you some, if you want."''