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Badass Boast/Real Life: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
* [[Josip Broz Tito|Josip Broz "Tito"]] once sent [[Josef Stalin|Stalin]] a telegram which read:
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* 14th century French noblewoman-turned-pirate-admiral Jeanne de Clisson, whose husband was betrayed and executed for treason by the French crown, to the sole survivor she always made sure to leave after taking a French ship:
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* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZsa-4nh040&feature=related Brian] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eajnO_O5UO8&feature=player_embedded Dawkins].
* Most heroes of American folklore, Davy Crockett (legendary version and the real man), Mike Fink, John Henry, Pecos Bill, etc. , had version of this, often called brags.
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** I can't remember this one well because it has been a long time ago when I read it and I probably have the details wrong. During a parley with Andy Jackson one mixed-ancestry Crow chieftain said something to the effect of, "I got Scots in me, I got Iroquois in me, I got French in me...", and so on through a list of both White tribes and Indian tribes that I can't remember. Then he closes with, "...but I ain't got no damn Yankee in me!"
** For Davy Crockett:
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*** [[Hilarious in Hindsight|In his time in the House, Crockett came to oppose Jackson.]] <ref>Well, of course. You are what you eat, after all.</ref>
** And for Mike Fink:
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* David Farragut, upon being warned about mines in the water at the Battle of Mobile Bay, responded (roughly): "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!"
** Warned nothing, one of his ships (The monitor Tecumpseh) had just struck one and sunk. This caused the ship in front of his to stop, right under the guns of a fort. The historical quote is properly two separate quotes: "Damn the Torpedoes!" to the Captain of the Brooklyn (the guy who had stopped), and "Four bells" (which was the naval order for maximum power) to the Captain of the ship tied alongside, the Hartford. The Captain then took the Hartford right past the Brooklyn and into the mine field.
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** This actually happened twice, a second time after the Mongols had already crushed the first line of defence on the actual islands of Japan. After the second invasion was obliterated by storm, the Mongols apparently decided that while the enemy troops were easy, their gods were a pain in the neck.
* "If the Army and the Navy / ever look on Heaven's scenes / They shall find the streets are guarded by / The United States Marines."
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** A (probably apocryphal, but still badass) tactical assessment of the US Marine situation at the [[The Korean War|Battle of Chosin Reservoir]]:
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*** Such boasts are usually attributed to [[wikipedia:Chesty Puller|Chesty Puller]], who likely deserves the credits.
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* "Μολὼν λαβέ" ("Come and take them") -- Leonidas at Thermopylae, when asked to give up his weapons. That's 'Molon labe' for those who can't understand Greek writing.
** Μολὼν λαβέ is currently the [[Badass Creed]] of the Greek First Army Corps, and is also the motto of United States Special Operations Command Central (SOCCENT).
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* The men of the small Texas town of Gonzalez used a variant of this when the Mexican army tried to reposses their cannon: "Come And Take It". They later carried that banner -- and attitude -- to the Alamo. American frontiersmen were like that. Gonzalez still have the cannon, and the flag, which still says 'Come And Take It'. They have a parade every year. (A very small one, it's a pretty small town.)
* Suleiman the Magnificent, the tenth sultan of the Ottoman Empire, signed his letters by titling himself
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''Of the Mediterranean and the Black Sea;''
''Of the glorified Kaaba and the illuminated Medina, the noble Jerusalem and the throne of Egypt, that rarity of the age;''
''Of the province of Yemen, and Aden and Sana, and of Baghdad the abode of rectitude, and Basra and al-Hasa and the Cities of Nushirivan;''
''Of the lands of Algiers and Azerbaijan, the steppes of the Kipchak and the lands of Tartars;''
''Of Kurdistan and Luristan, and of the countries of Rumelia and Anatolia and Karaman and Wallachia and Moldavia and Hungary all together, and of many more worthy kingdoms of countries.''
''Sultan and Padishah.'' }}
* Speaking of Ottoman sultans, the letter of Sultan Mahmud IV to the Zaporogian Cossacks. And, topping that, the [http://www.thescreamonline.com/art/art7-1/repin/repin.html Cossacks' reply].
** That reply is probably a fake, though.
* Atahualpa, the final sovereign emperor of the Inca empire, had such a (possibly ahistorical) boast to the Spanish when they told him his land had been granted to them by the Pope:
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** Things... didn't go so well for him after that. But it was still an ''awesome'' Badass Boast.
* During his conquest of the Aztec Empire, Hernan Cortez had to defeat the army of the Governor of Cuba, which was sent after him. He bested them, even outnumbered and outgunned, AND convinced the survivors to join him. Accounts say that the army's general spoke to him like this:
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'''Cortez''': Capturing you is the least of everything I've done in this land. }}
* Muhammad Ali. That man only ''spoke'' in [[Badass Boast]].
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** Ali actually lost against Joe Frazier in 1970, but nevertheless had a poetic [[Badass Boast]] beforehand: "Now this may shock and amaze ya/But I'm gonna retire Joe Frazier."
** Awesomely, when he was interviewed after he was fully afflicted with Parkinson's disease, unable to talk above a whisper and uncontrollably shaking, he ''continued'' to speak in [[Badass Boast]].
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* "We are [[Image Boards|Anonymous]]. We are legion. We do not forgive. We do not forget. Expect us."
** "Anonymous: Because none of us is as cruel as all of us."
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* Julius Caesar: "Veni, vidi, vici." ("I came. I saw. I conquered.")
** Many great people have made their own quotes basing on this. For example, king of Poland, John III, after massacring the Turks at Vienna and breaking their power forever, send all their banners to the Pope along with the letter:
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** Robert Heinlein quipped, "I came, I saw, She conquered. (Something seems to have been lost in the original translation...)"
* [[Filk Song|Filk singer]] Rob Balder's song "[[Yet Another Stupid Death|Yet Another Stupid Decade]]: [[Nethack]] Turns 20" ([http://www.thefump.com/lyrics.php?id=93 available here]) contains this boast:
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* People born and bred in Falkirk, UK, are known as "The Bairns of Falkirk". The town motto is "Touch ane, touch a'" and the Bairns are keen on the saying, "Better meddle with the Devil than the Bairns of Falkirk".
* The McPherson clan motto, "Touch not the cat but a glove", refers to McPherson as a wildcat. When its claws are unsheathed, (without the glove), well...tomfoolery will not be met with kindness.
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*** Seems that that's one of the better boasts. When you recall that they had a [[Simo Hayha|single guy]] with over 700 kills, it's not an idle one, either.
* The Comte de Cambronne, the French Old Guard commander at Waterloo is usually quoted as saying after the battle, "The Guard dies, but does not surrender". That's badass enough, yet what he actually said was even more so:
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** Somewhat [[Subverted Trope|subverted]] in that he surrendered anyway.
* From the same era, we have Marshal Lefebvre, who had risen from the ranks to become one of Napoleon's senior generals. One of his dinner guests supposedly expressed envy of his wealth. Lefebvre's response was to offer to take him outside and take twenty shots at him from thirty paces; if the guest survived it would all be his. Unsurprisingly, he declined. "I had a thousand bullets fired at me from much closer range before I got this," said Lefebre. Most other French generals could have said the same.
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* [[Indonesia|Gajah Mada]], before his campaign to unify the archipelago, made this oath to his queen: ''"If the external territorities of Majapahit are lost, I will not taste any spices. And until I have conquered Malaka, Seram, Tanjungpura, Haru, Pahang, Dompo, Bali, Sunda and Palembang... I will ''never'' taste any spices."'' And, he actually ''succeeded'' and even expands the territority of Majapahit into the whole archipelago that will be known as Indonesia.
* In 1990, 18-year-old Hugh Gallagher wrote [http://www.hughgallagher.net/neurofuzzy/essay.html his college application essay], which is one long, massive (and slightly surreal) [[Badass Boast]]. It reads in part:
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::It worked. He got into college, the essay won a contest, and Gallagher is now a successful novelist.
* During [[World War II]], [[Bob Hope]] performed for an audience of [[The Engineer|combat engineers]]:
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'''Audience Member:''' Hell no! We're the [[wikipedia:Seabee|Seabees]]! We build the roads the Japs retreat on! }}
* Many armed forces have a battle cry they use to psych themselves up (and scare the enemy) in case they have to end up stabbing some poor bastard to death with their bayonet. For example, the 506th P.I.R of the 101st Airborne's battle cry was "Currahee!" a Cherokee word which literally means "stand alone". Even today, it is still used by the 101st as a morale booster.
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* General McAuliffe, at the Battle of the Bulge, was presented with a surrender ultimatum by the Germans. To which he said: "Nuts"
* [http://www.badassoftheweek.com/york.html US Army] [http://acacia.pair.com/Acacia.Vignettes/The.Diary.of.Alvin.York.html#October%208th%201918 Corporal] [[wikipedia:Alvin York|Alvin]] [[Implacable Man|York]] had this to say about the battle in which he, alone, took fire from [[More Dakka|thirty-two German machine guns and over 100 riflemen]] [[Nigh Invulnerable|without receiving a scratch]] and returned rifle fire to kill 28 Germans [[Improbable Aiming Skills|without missing even one shot:]]
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** When the German major who surrendered to York realized York had no other troops but a handful of terrified privates to corral his 132 prisoners:
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'''York:''' [[One-Man Army|I have got a'plenty.]] *''pointing pistol at major all the while''* }}
* Doctor Peter Rhee, one of the men taking care of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords after she's been shot through the head, seems to be prone to this, with two quotes coming to mind: "She will not die. She does not have that permission from me." and "If she comes to me alive, I can keep her alive." - Considering that, so far, he seems to have delivered very well, quality of life and speed of recovery included, he [[Insufferable Genius|earned it]].
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* Corporal Josh Pearson of Generation Kill fame: "Dear Frederick, thank you for your nice letter, but I am actually a U.S. Marine who was, born to kill, whereas you have clearly mistaken me for some sort of wine-sipping, communist dick suck. And although peace probably appeals to tree-loving bisexuals like you and your parents, I happen to be a death dealing, blood crazed warrior who wakes up every day, just hoping for the chance to dismember my enemies and defile their civilizations."
* This T-shirt:
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** And a similar one from Detroit's neighbor to the north, under a picture of a smoking gun:
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** It should be pointed out that this is more a real-life warning than a boast, however.
* [[Evel Knievel]] gave a memorable interview with radio host Jim Rome, which included this interchange discussing Knievel's attempted Snake Canyon jump:
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'''Knievel''': (Beat) "Know who the hell I am?" }}
* Joe Namath's famed guarantee of a [[Super Bowl]] victory by the 1967-1968 New York Jets was seen as this, as the AFL to which the Jets belonged was perceived as an inferior league to the [[American Football|NFL]]. By following through with that guarantee, the Jets ''created'' the Super Bowl (which to that point had been something more akin to an All-Star game, with the NFL Championship considered to be the true Championship game), and gave notice that the AFL was for real, which set the stage for the leagues' later merger.
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* A boast about the US Navy, if not actually by them: Enemy targets continue to exist within the strike radius of an American carrier task force at the discretion of the task force commander.
* Despite being a top seed in the 2011 NBA Playoffs, the seven other teams in their conference openly expressed a preference on going up against the Dallas Mavericks (who would go on to win the title), believing they were an easy mark. Mavericks guard Jason Terry acknowledged the conceit and welcomed it:
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** Keep in mind that Jason Terry [[Badass Boast|had the Larry O'Brien trophy tattooed on him before the 2010-11 season!]]
* Almogavars were mercenary soldiers from the 13th and 14th century. ''"Awake iron!"'' was their battlecry. The badassery of it relies on the fact that, while shouting the battlecry, they used to struck their blades against rocks, so the steel would spark.
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* The American Civil War had a few:
** The Mayor of Atlanta sent a letter to General William T. Sherman, pleading for him to spare the city the fate of everything else Sherman's army had come across during their infamous March to the Sea. His response is in equal measures [[Badass]] for him and [[Nightmare Fuel]] for the people of Atlanta.
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** In other words, Sherman was a force of nature a century and a half before [[Team Fortress 2|the Scout]] was.
** Another was from Captain Philip Sheridan, a Union officer whose entry took place at the Battle of Missionary Ridge. It would normally be enough that he stood in plain view of the Confederate position on the ridge, took out a flask, and raised it towards them and toasted, "Here's at you." But in anger at the mocking display, the Confederates fired a volley at Sheridan and his entrenched troops, missing him but disrupting his drink. [[Berserk Button|A mistake, as it turned out.]]
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** Sheridan's men interpreted this ''as an order'', and charged the Confederate line along with their captain. The Confederates, despite their superior position, fled in panic, and the equally off-guard Union troops who weren't under Sheridan's immediate command (including Ulysses S. Grant) hastily mounted their own offensive and won the battle. Bear in mind that the Battle of Missionary Ridge was what led largely to the Cofederate defeat in the West, which in turn led to Grant being made overall general of the Union army.
* This [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhahiQJhfTo Royal Marines Commando advert]: "I am your worse nightmare. I have conquered fear. I have come to terms with terror, and pain is my best friend. I am a Royal Marines Commando. I will come from the sea. I will disappear without trace. My brothers will lay down their lives for me, as I will for them."
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTHyVWCoJdg This] video by [[YouTube]] user "TheThinkingAtheist" in response to Pastor Mike Stahl, who compared atheists to ex-convicts, sex offenders, and the KKK, and [[Idiot Plot|suggested they should be registered on a list]], [[Jerkass|so that they could be shunned and avoided]], [[What an Idiot!|and their businesses boycotted]]. Needless to say, TheThinkingAtheist was most displeased, leading to a [[Badass Boast]] demonstrating the sheer size of the atheist demographic today and yesterday.
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* As the story goes, the Nazis sent an ambassador to Switzerland before the outbreak of [[World War II]]. The ambassador noted that the Swiss didn't have a very large standing army, to which the Swiss Representative replied that all citizens of the country were trained as citizen soldiers and kept their rifles in their homes, and that, if their country were to be invaded, their standing army of 20,000 would be increased to 500,000 in 24 hours. Which led to the following exchange:
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'''Swiss Representative''': Then, sir, we would shoot twice. }}
** Germany ''never'' tried to invade Switzerland throughout the entirety of the second World War.
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