Because You Can Cope: Difference between revisions

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{{trope}}
A character is abandoned, neglected or thrown to the wolves by someone they love and trust, because the said person that they love and trust decided to look after someone else. There are two main variations of this trope:
 
* '''Type 1 - Abandonment at a critical point:''' Alice is in the middle of a battle alongside her mentor, Bob, and Bob's other apprentice, Charlie. Usually, Alice is the more powerful or competent of the apprentices—she gets into much less trouble than Charlie. However, on this single occasion, Alice is unlucky. Not to worry though—Bob will rescue her! After all, he's always bailing Charlie out of trouble, isn't he? He'd never fail his apprentice! Except...as Alice screams for help, she catches sight of Bob and Charlie—and they're fleeing the battlefield. If Charlie is in any way sympathetic, he will protest leaving Alice to her fate, only for Bob to tell him "Leave her!" Alice blacks out, bewildered and betrayed. If she has been struggling before, the sight of her friends turning their backs on her [[Et Tu, Brute?|will break her spirit]] and she may [[Heroic BSOD|give up]].
* '''Type 2 - Ongoing Neglect:''' David and Emily are siblings. David is perfectly healthy, but Emily is an [[Ill Girl]]. Their parents are constantly attending to Emily, bundling her up against the cold, making emergency hospital trips, taking time off work to look after her when she's ill and generally worrying about her. In all the fuss, however, David is practically forgotten - his mum and dad expect him to look after himself, since he doesn't technically need the same amount of care Emily does. However, should he start misbehaving or worse, voice resentment about Emily's monopoly of his parents' time, expect a massive [[Guilt Trip]] of the "you don't know how lucky you are" variety.
 
Somehow, Alice escapes her captors and David manages to survive childhood. Unsurprisingly however, they are less than happy with the person who failed them. If they are [[The Stoic]] or [[The Woobie]], they probably won't make a fuss - the stoic because (s)he sees complaining as a sign of weakness, the woobie because...well, it's part of that "suffering beautifully" thing. However, other characters may opt for [[Calling the Old Man Out]].
 
How does the "Old Man" justify himself? "I abandoned you because I knew you could cope." Or "I had faith in your abilities." Or, more bluntly, "Your (insert relevant relation or friend here) needed me more."
 
This reaction can be perfectly justified. The mentor may have had to make a [[Sadistic Choice]], and chose the course of action most likely to get everyone out alive. It's also inevitable that a sick child is going to demand more attention than a healthy one. This does not make it any more pleasant for the character who was left out in the cold, but it prevents the audience from losing sympathy with the parent/mentor. Other situations are less defensible - for example, Charlie has clearly been Bob's favourite all along, or Emily is not actually sick, just a [[Spoiled Brat]] who fakes illness to get attention.
 
This trope sees more capable or better-natured characters getting the short end of the stick, because they are always expected to look after themselves (and, often, other people as well) while their parent/mentor/friend goes haring after their more vulnerable or stupid associates. If the target of Because You Can Cope ''can't'' cope in one particular instance (usually having to rescue themselves or be saved by a third party), others may claim it was because the victim was weak, not because they were let down.
 
Sometimes the parent/mentor [[Karma Houdini|gets away with their act of abandonment with no ill consequences]]. However, Alice in particular may be prone to a [[Face Heel Turn]], eventually attacking those who left her to die. Even David might decide to deny help when his parents or sister need it, as payback for years of neglect. This may be an act of [[Laser-Guided Karma]] or proof of David/Alice's descent to [[Complete Monster]] territory, depending on the [[An Aesop|lesson]] the writer is shooting for.
 
There is a [[Heroic Sacrifice]] version of this trope, where a character volunteers to take one for the team because they are better equipped to deal with a bad situation—for example, [[The Big Guy]] goads an enemy into attacking them in order to protect [[The Chick]] or the [[Squishy Wizard]]. Tragically, he usually overestimates his own resilience. The trope can be [[Played for Laughs]], but may end with [[Dude, Not Funny]]. A game of [[Misery Poker]] may be involved, especially between siblings. A [[Family-Unfriendly Aesop]] usually results - "if you're ''able'' to put up with it, you ''should'' put up with it, no matter how much it hurts you". Occasionally, the mentor/parent will use the "Because you can cope" excuse as an excuse to cover up more sinister motives - or just their own thoughtlessness.
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'''{{smallcaps|Anime and Manga}}'''
* Twisted version in ''[[Gravitation]]'' - Shuichi demands that Yuki stay in the relationship for ''him'', since, although Yuki is coughing blood due to stress (allegedly due to Shuichi's presence in his life), it won't kill him - but Shuichi claims he will die without Yuki. Could be [[What the Hell, Hero?]] moment for Shuichi, but Yuki's own [[Jerkass]] tendencies and the fact that his illness isn't actually Shuichi's fault are mitigating factors.
 
'''{{smallcaps|Literature}}'''
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{{quote|'''Francie''': "You fix everything for him and tell me I can find a way myself." }}
** Would be a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]], if Francie wasn't immediately made to feel guilty about asserting herself and promptly apologise to her mother.
* [[Jodi Picoult]] uses this trope as justification for her [[Knight Templar]] mothers. Amelia of ''[[Handle with Care]]'', gets lectured about all the things she can do that her fragile little sister, Willow, can't do whenever the girl complains about the restrictions placed on her and neglect she suffers. Anna of ''[[My Sister's Keeper]]'' gets [[No Sympathy]] for all the painful operations she gets put through, because her mum is too busy making sure that her cancer-stricken big sister, Kate, is all right, and Theo of ''House Rules'' is expected to put up with Jacob's abuse, and held to higher standards than his sibling, because Theo is capable of normal social interaction and autistic Jacob is not.
** YMMV on whether [[Jodi Picoult]] is agreeing with this as she shows how destructive this kind of parenting is and that it not only ruins the mother and ill child's life but destroys their family and everyone who gets too close.
* Kate Cann's ''Leaving Poppy'' uses the "sibling who fakes illness" plot - the titular Poppy controls her mother and sister's lives through tantrums and passive-aggression. Her mother claims that Poppy is "fragile" and guilt trips her other daughter, Amber, into bowing to her younger sister's demands. For example, when Amber is due to go on holiday, Poppy throws a fit, and their mother pleads with Amber to cancel, claiming that she'll have plenty of other opportunities to go on holiday while Poppy will not - and that while cancelling her holiday will be tough on Amber, Poppy (and their mother) will be even worse off if she doesn't, so Amber should be the one to make the sacrifice.
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* Meta example: The role of [[An Adventurer Is You|a "Tank" in most RPG games]]. He's built to take damage, so the player just lets the enemies beat him up while focusing on protecting the [[Squishy Wizard]] and [[Glass Cannon]] characters.
* The Sentinel role in ''[[Final Fantasy XIII]]'' is this trope invoked intentionally. The designated tank provokes the enemies to attack him so that the other characters can attack or heal; as a bonus, the Sentinel gets abilities that allow him to guard, guard ''and'' heal, guard and ''counterattack''...the ideal Sentinel not only can cope, but becomes much ''better'' at coping when in the role. The Sentinel also grants a bonus to everyone else's defense while active.
* In ''[[Knights of the Old Republic]]'', [[Cynical Mentor|Kriea]] is clearly [[Training Fromfrom Hell|working under this philosophy.]]
* Marche in [[Final Fantasy Tactics Advance]] is a great example of Type 2: His younger brother, Doned, has an unnamed illness that requires he go to the hospital occasionally, and he is confined to a wheelchair. This becomes a plot point later in the game, as {{spoiler|Doned is revealed to have gained the ability to walk in Ivalice, and is a streetear who gives out information about Marche's location, so bounty hunters can attempt to collect the reward on Marche's head. Marche and Doned eventually have a heart-to-heart, where Marche convinces his brother that he was not left behind, and Doned accepts that Marche is given the shaft when it comes to parental care.}}
** And then Marche {{spoiler|cripples Doned again by destroying Ivalice, thus returning things to ''exactly'' as they were before, although the characters affected by this accepted it}}. FFTA's plot is repeatedly a source of [[Internet Backdraft]].
 
'''{{smallcaps|Western Animation}}'''
* On ''[[American Dad]],'' Francine is hurt when she discovers that her parents are leaving all their money to her sister. At first she assumes that it's because she was adopted, when really it's because her sister is a [[The Ditz|ditzy]] [[Asian Airhead]] whom they feel needs it more.
* As seen below in the [[Real Life]] section, in ''[[Daria]]'', Quinn gets a cash reward from her father for getting an A on ''one'' major homework project. Daria, the much smarter of the two, ''immediately'' calls him out on it for it being a [[Double Standard]], even implying that it would demotivate her since her consistent high grades garner no such rewards.
 
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[[Category:The Parent Trope]]
[[Category:Betrayal Tropes]]
[[Category:Because You Can Cope{{PAGENAME}}]]