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A trilogy written by [[Christopher Moore]] about vampires and romance... And no, it's nothing like ''[[Twilight (Literaturenovel)|Twilight]]''. Although they are described as love stories, romance actually plays a surprisingly small role in these books. For the most part the genre fluctuates among comedy, drama, supernatural and suspense, with Moore's typical emphasis on comedy.
 
The first book, ''Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story'', is about 26-year-old Jody, living in modern-day [[San Francisco]] with her shallow and weak-willed boyfriend. [[Incredibly Lame Pun|The last nail is driven into the coffin]] of her crumbling relationship when she wakes up under a city dumpster with a horrible burn on her hand and a huge wad of cash stuffed in her shirt. She finds out that she's been unwittingly turned into a vampire.
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The first sequel, ''You Suck: A Love Story'', is about Jody and Tommy for some reason ''staying'' in San Francisco, [[Idiot Plot|despite the fact that it defies all common sense]]. Jody ends up turning Tommy into a vampire. This means that she has to find a new day person and she ends up recruiting the teenage goth girl, [[Punny Name|Abby Normal]].
 
''[[Bite Me (Literaturenovel)|Bite Me: A Love Story]]'', the latest installment, is about a wave of vampirism striking San Francisco. The main character of this book is Abby from ''You Suck''.
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=== These books provide examples of: ===
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* [[Cool Boat]]: The old vampire's home.
* [[Curb Stomp Battle]]: [[Awesome Moments|Jody beats the everloving crap out of a gang that intended to rape her]] and shouts "Forty-fucking-Niners!" at them as she walks out the door.
* [[Cursed Withwith Awesome]]: Subverted. Jody loves being a vampire because it means that she can enjoy eternal life and feel completely safe walking down dark streets at night. Tommy, on the other hand, would rather be human because he is only 19 when he's turned and being male, doesn't have any issues with the latter.
* [[Dead Man's Chest]]: Jody and Tommy end up buying a big freezer to store the dead man left just outside their apartment.
* [[Dude, She's Like, in Aa Coma]]: Tommy contemplates about whether or not he should have sex with Jody while she's passed out during the day. Later it turns out that he actually ''did''.
* [[Easily Forgiven]]: Tommy, for all the things he's pulled on Jody while she was unconscious, which includes dressing her up as a cheerleader and having sex with her, rubbing her with garlic and putting her in the freezer.
* [[Emergency Transformation]]: {{spoiler|Simon}} is dying of AIDS and threatens Jody at gunpoint to get her to turn him and save his life. The only problem is that {{spoiler|at this point of story}} she doesn't know how.
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* [[Healing Factor]]: A perk of vampirism.
* [[Heterosexual Life Partners]]: Subverted with Rivera and Cavuto, as [[Straight Gay|Cavuto actually]] ''[[Straight Gay|is]]'' [[Straight Gay|gay]].
* [[Hooker Withwith a Heart of Gold]]: Averted. Quite possibly the hooker is one of the most immoral characters.
* [[Horror Hunger]]: Generally averted. The only time vampires get really bloodthirsty is when they've just been grievously injured and need blood to heal.
* [[How Do I Shot Web?]]: Jody wakes up night under a dumpster with a badly-burned hand. It takes her a while to even realise she's become a vampire, and the rest of the book to figure out exactly what sorts of powers and limitations that comes with.
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* [[Undeath Always Ends]]: By the second book a scientist even invents a cure for vampirism.
* [[San Francisco]]: The setting of all three books. Even when it gets [[Idiot Plot|implausible and dangerous]].
* [[Sealed Evil in Aa Can]]: The fate of the old vampire at the end of the first novel. It doesn't last, of course.
* [[Shout-Out]]: The title of the third novel, ''Bite Me'' is a reference to [[Christopher Moore]]'s other novel, ''[[Fluke, or, I Know Why Thethe Winged Whale Sings (Literature)|Fluke]]'' where a whale has "Bite Me" tattooed to its fins.
* [[Sliding Scale of Gender Inequality]]: At the end of ''You Suck'', Jody and Tommy find out that there's a cure for vampirism. Tommy is more than willing to take it, but Jody enjoys being a vampire. The only time she feels safe walking on the street at night is when she's a vampire.
* [[Sliding Scale of Silliness Versus Seriousness]]: Not to say that the book is entirely lacking in seriousness, but given [[Christopher Moore|the author]], this book is quite far down on the Silly side of the scale.
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* [[Vampires Are Sex Gods]]
* [[The Verse]]: All of [[Christopher Moore]]'s novels, including this one, take place in the same universe.
** ''You Suck'' even takes place at the same time as the beginning of ''[[A Dirty Job (Literature)|A Dirty Job]]''. There's a [[Crossover]] scene in both books wrote from the point of view of it's respective protagonists. Their teenage [[Goth]] [[Sidekick|sidekicks]]/[[Employees/secret Keeper|secret keepers]] also happen to be best friends.
* [[Waking Up At the Morgue]]: After being defrosted, Jody wakes up at the morgue with the [[Squick|coroner licking the inside of her thigh]].
* [[Warm Bloodbags Are Everywhere]]: Jody and later, Tommy,''usually'' keep themselves under control in public, but after an intense bout of healing they can get rather [[Horror Hunger|hungry]].
* [[What the Hell, Hero?]]: Jody's reaction to [[Stuffed Into the Fridge|Tommy putting her in the freezer]].
* [[Wax Museum Morgue]]: Vampires are usually dealt with by electroplating them in bronze.
* [[Weakened Byby the Light]]: Almost to the point where it's [[Weaksauce Weakness|Crippled By The Light]]. Vampires are completely unable to function in any way shape or form while the sun is up, and are therefore vulnerable to just about anything and everything during the daylight hours. The mere presence of the sun peeking over the horizon will cause a vampire anywhere (even completely locked away from the sunlight) to collapse in an immobile corpse-like state. Depending on the geographical location and time of year this means that vampires are useless sacks of meat just waiting to be killed for up to 24 consecutive hours a day. On top of that the sunlight also burns them, so tough luck if they get caught in an uncovered outdoor area at sunrise.
* [[What Are You in For?]]: When Tommy, is in jail he asks his cell mate what he's in for. The man replies 'copyright infringement', which he admits isn't really the sort of offense they put you in jail for. Ripping a lawyer's arms out of their sockets, however, is.
* [[Wrong Genre Savvy]]: Played with. Tommy saturates himself with vampire literature and appears to be this initially when he asks Jody to {{spoiler|turn into mist}} like [[Dracula]], but it turns out that all she needed was a tutor. Other things he does get wrong, though. Jody can't fly or turn into a wolf, for instance. He also suspects himself of becoming [[The Renfield]] and lists a bunch of reasons attributable to other things. Abby also counts; she believes that vampires are all dark, brooding, serious and romantic, more along the lines of [[Anne Rice]]'s ''[[The Vampire Chronicles]]'' or ''[[Twilight (Literaturenovel)|Twilight]]'' than the vampires that show up in the book.
 
{{reflist}}
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