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Ciem (view source)

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{{quote|''"[[Can't Get Away Withwith Nuthin'|No, you]] ''are'' [[Can't Have Sex Ever|a fool]]. But you're my favorite one..."''|Laurie (to Candi)}}
 
The Ciem webcomic series is a dramatic [[Pastiche]] [http://www.comixpedia.org/index.php?title=DSHW DSHW] [[Machinomics|Machinomic]] from Dozerfleet Productions, which specializes in playing around with various comic book and drama tropes whilst simultaneously showing off the storyboard capabilities of mixing Photoshop with ''[[The Sims|The Sims 2]]''. The series features the misadventures of the titular Candice "Candi" Marie "Stevens" Flippo-Levens-McArthur / Ciem, a teenage girl in 2019 who finds out that Phaelite aliens mutated her father while he was a baby, which allows her to have centipede powers. From there, she realizes that she is supposed to help her [[Big Screwed-Up Family]] battle their archnemeses: The [[Fantastic Racism|genocidal]] Hebbleskin Gang, made up of Meethlite aliens.
 
[[Resigned to Thethe Call|Willing to go along with it]], albeit on her own terms, she tries to also get into college and manage her love life. Cue [[Doom Magnet|several loved ones being killed left and right]], several [[Apocalypse How|averted apocalypses]], and even a few pseudo-governmental [[Ancient Conspiracy|conspiracies]] [[Off Withwith His Head|to turn her and her sisters into Duke Arfaas' trophies]], and the [[Determined Widow]] becomes more determined than ever to [[Acceptable Feminine Goals|finally settle down]]. In the meantime, she struggles with doubt, compromise, fear, lack of self-confidence, guilt, [[Wangst]], [[All Women Are Lustful|lust]], her boyfriend's health problems, and [[I Just Want to Be Normal|how to help Botan the Plant-Man get his wish]].
 
The trilogy initially began as an [[Affectionate Parody]] of the Spider-Man [[Spider-Man (Filmfilm)|film series]], and was a [[Spin-Off]] of an obscure comic called ''The Battle for Gerosha'', before becoming an entity all unto itself. Due to its heavy reliance on [[The Sims]] and related [[Game Mod|Game Mods]] as rendering tools, several tropes from that game are played with and repurposed rather freely.
 
In spite of coming out around the same time as Starline Hodge's much more popular ''[[Candi]]'', the two have nothing to do with each other, [[Strange Minds Think Alike|in spite of some]] [http://dozerfleetwiki2.wiki-site.com/index.php/Candi_Levens_vs._Starline%27s_Candi remarkable similarities].
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* [[Deadly Dodging]] / [[Gun Kata]]
* [[The Dragon]]: Musaran in the first story. Capp Aard in the second. In the third, Milp starts out as one for Kolumn, before rebelling and [[Villain Ball|stealing the title]] of [[Big Bad]]. At this point, Botan becomes her "dragon." Several [[Quirky Miniboss Squad|lesser dragons]], such as Lobe, are also in the third one.
* [[Dropped a Bridge Onon Him]]: Denny Levens, though it was more like the foot of a giant, metallic shrew. {{spoiler|[[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|Followed by]] a [[Action Bomb|suicide bomber]].}} Later, various other characters meet with a [[Family-Unfriendly Death]].
* [[Expository Hairstyle Change]]: [[Exaggerated Trope|Taken to extremes]] in ''Ciem 1'', where Candi alternates amongst 8 different hairstyles across 32 chapters (averaging a new style every four.) Granted, a few of these are just dye jobs, but that still makes for about 4 or 5 actual styles. [[Justified Trope|Partially justified]] in that she's trying to hide from [[Fantastic Racism|genocidal]] [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|alien gangsters]], and by the fact that the story covers over 2 years'-worth of her life. Also understandable, as it's a [[Machinomics|DSHW machinomic]] made with ''[[The Sims|The Sims 2]]'', which practically ''encourages'' players to toy around with hairstyles.
** ''Ciem 2'' both plays this straight and subverts it. Candi has only one ''official'' hairstyle change; from her Maxis-default mesh, [[So Last Season|end-of-first-story red hair]]; to her messier-looking custom mesh hairstyle. This [[Important Haircut|indicates]] [[What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic|not only]] her continued loss of innocence between parts 1 and 2, but [[Out, Damned Spot!|her frustrations]] with [[My Girl Is Not a Slut|trying to hide/prevent it]].
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* [[Morning Sickness]]: Averted. Apparently, losing one's superpowers (and a general sense of fatigue and loss of courage) is punishment enough.
* [[Named After Somebody Famous]] / [[Shout-Out]]: Dolly Malestrom is named after [[wikipedia:Dolly (sheep)|Dolly the Cloned Sheep]]. Her future son will be named ''Gunther''.
** In the Fox animated series ''[[Where Onon Earth Is Carmen Sandiego?]]''?, one of the villains is named ''Gunnar Maelstrom''.
* [[Oh Crap]]: Nearly [[Can't Get Away Withwith Nuthin'|everyone has this feeling at least once]].
* [[Off Withwith His Head|Off With Her Head]]: What Arfaas and the Hebbleskin Gang are obsessed with doing to all of Shalia's daughters. He wants her sons to be [[Gorn|disemboweled]], but Reily is a low priority.
* [[Our Ghosts Are Different]]: Details under the Trivia page.
* [[Out, Damned Spot!]]: Candi can't get over her guilt over Erin's death, Don's death, Denny's death, [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|losing her virginity to Denny instead of Donte]], or any number of other things; for many years. Frustration leads her to sometimes alleviate her feelings of shame and responsibility in ways that just make her feel even more guilty.
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* [[Roof Hopping]]: Ciem
* [[Sex Is Evil]]: Well, fornication, but not necessarily sex in general. Erin drilled her fear of anything even remotely related to sex into her sisters' heads, until they couldn't take it anymore.
** Knowing Erin couldn't be right about everything and being susceptible to a [[In the Blood|family curse]] that supernaturally boosted their sexual appetites, Miriam and Marina quickly find themselves [[Looking for Love In All Thethe Wrong Places]].
** Candi tries to play her love and sex life according to the rules (God's, but not necessarily all of Erin's.) However, her fear of Donte [[Mate or Die|never having a child before facing death]] leads her to [[I Did What I Had to Do|consider a compromise]], one which she doesn't feel very good about, [[Good People Have Good Sex|especially when she discovers she enjoys it a little too much]].
** Donte initially argues that he'd rather have her [[Nature Adores a Virgin|unspoiled so they have no regrets later on]]. [[Diabolus Ex Machina|Somehow]], both lovers' plans [[Failure Is the Only Option|backfire]].
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* [[Fetus Terrible]]: Subverted in Angie. She takes away her mother's powers and nearly gets her killed by Botan the Plant-Man, but also frees her mother from the psychoitc Kimiyato Hiriyama's Psychic Link. She even saves Candi's life, [[Heroic Sacrifice|but at the expense of her own]]. And does most of this before she is even born!
* [[Flowers for Algernon Syndrome]]: Musaran made Jeraime very powerful, but also [[With Great Power Comes Great Insanity|psychotic]]. Jeraime was only freed from Musaran's control [[Blind Without'Em|at the cost of his eyesight]]. Yet, he is just thankful to be alive and have his wife Dolly back.
* [[Foe Yay]]: Kimi's taunting of Candi in chapter 15 of story 1 [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|may seem a bit like]] [[Three Hundred300|Xerxes trying to demoralize Leonidas]].
* [[From a Certain Point of View]]: What Donte tells Merle to protect Candi's secret identity. [[Swiss Cheese Security|How she was able]] to fool security is another matter.
** Suffice to say, she needs a far more elaborate plot to escape in the book, as no [[Real Life]] modern police station would build the city jail to look like a medieval dungeon.
* [["Get Out of Jail Free" Card]]: [[Crazy Survivalist|Dolly]] and Lindsay use dynamite as one.
* [[Grandpa God]]: Sort of. Rev. Wilbur Brocklyn is a kindly preacher (who [[Shout-Out|curiously]] resembles [[Bruce Almighty|Morgan Freeman]] slightly) that [[Badass Preacher|is known]] for the occasional [[Talking the Monster Toto Death|psychological smackdown]] of his own congregation through his [[Character Filibuster|bizarre sermons]].
{{quote| "Would ''you'' kill Mary? Then why pick on Viron students? (Indirectly indicting Pete and Nolle [[My Girl Is Not a Slut|for persecuting Candi]].)}}
** While not God, he is an effective mouthpiece.
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** While not actually raped; he is [[Brought Down to Normal|stripped of his powers]], beaten, [[Body Horror|aged rapidly]], and given cancer.
** His loss of self esteem upon recovery makes him less concerned about protecting his (and Candi's) sexual integrity, and [[One Thing Led to Another|leads]] the two of them to sexual addiction to each other in the sequel.
* [[Never Say "Die"]]: Inverted and Subverted. Musaran shouts it all the time, dead bodies show up everywhere, Arfaas talks of decapitating Flippos, and more. Yet, Jeraime manages to [[Disney Death|survive his brush with electric death]], only at the expense of going blind.
** The sequels don't seem to mind use of the word either.
* [[The Password Is Always Swordfish]]: The password on the library computer in which Candi learns where Donte is being kept is "DieLevens." Why would the Meethlites make it [[Idiot Plot|so easy]]?
** They were hoping [[Batman Gambit|to maybe catch Ciem that way]]. In a way, they did; [[Cassandra Truth|but didn't realize it]] [[Too Clever Byby Half|until it was too late]].
* [[Promotion to Parent]]: Erin Flippo, the oldest of the Flippo sisters.
* [[Real Life Writes the Plot]]: Some rushed production on later chapters was due to the writer having to make more time for school-related projects. Also, Denny's problems with the debit card thief-turned-suicide bomber Kelsea Linney were based on the author's [[Real Life]] problems with a [[Character Exaggeration|not-quite]][[Historical Villain Upgrade|-as-psychotic]] hairstylist. (No, not ''[[Sweeney Todd|that one]]''!)
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** Jack [[Comforting the Widow|attempts to be this]] in the book. Candi decides her feelings for Donte are so genuine, that Jack should accept what he got from her as little more than a one night's stand. (And considering her frame of mind at the time, it almost counts as rape.) She does help him find another girl, so he takes her rejection of him surprisingly well.
* [[Screaming Birth]]: Angie is about to be born, right after Candi loses Denny (and her house)!
* [[Shout-Out]] / [[Idiosyncratic Episode Naming]]: Most of the chapter titles parody/shout out to either the names of various tropes or quotes or titles from films. Many are named after lines from either [[Shakespeare]] or [[The Bible (Literature)|The Bible]]. Examples have been moved to Trivia.
* [[Stuffed Into the Fridge]] / [[A Million Is a Statistic]]: Musaran's victims are possibly in the hundreds.
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* [[Auto Erotica]]: Averted and parodied during {{spoiler|a [[All Just a Dream|dream sequence]]}}. Candi wakes up to find herself in the backseat of a Model T Ford...ALONE! And she has no idea how she got there, but is wearing a dress she doesn't recognize. Then she finds her much-alive(?) ex-husband on top of the ship they're on, [[Titanic|raving like a complete idiot]].
{{quote| '''Candi:''' "[[Lampshade Hanging|What the heck are you doing up there]]?"}}
* [[Minion Withwith an F In Evil]]: Teal Hog. He ends up rescuing Miriam from a thug that was about to rape and possibly kill her, and then sets her loose on the street, completely oblivious to the fact that she was the girl he was sent to capture!
* [[Redemption Equals Death]]: In an abstract sense, Miriam's Sniperbadger persona had to be hijacked and destroyed before Miriam could set her life straight. Played with in a particularly cruel manner in which, for her to find redemption for having gotten involved with a porn site, the site's webmaster ends up being the one who dies!
* [[Take That]] / [[Big Lipped Alligator Moment]]: Chapter 5 is a gruelingly [[Satire, Parody, Pastiche|satirical parody]] of ''[[Titanic]]''.
{{quote| Denny: "Wahoo! Call me a viceroy, [[Pirates of the Caribbean|Jones]]! [[Bad News, Irrelevant News|It's the end of your world; but I fixed the ship's engine!]] [[Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?|And I'm STILL not a greasemonkey!]]"}}
* [[Yellow Peril]]: Subverted. Black Rat, Tin Dragon, and Stung Hornet turn out to be [[Anti-Villain|not such bad fellows]] after all. And [[My Friends and Zoidberg|Teal Hog]], for some reason, [[Minion Withwith an F In Evil|can't even figure out that he's a designated villain]].
 
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=== Unique to ''Ciem 3'': ===
* [[The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything|The Alien Hero Who Won't Do Anything]]: Ploribus. Played straight at first, but then subverted when he tries to battle Milp's Milliblob form with his [[Humongous Mecha]]. [[Senseless Sacrifice|And fails to make much difference]]. (Although, by [[Spanner in Thethe Works|sheer luck]], he did injure her, making it easier {{spoiler|for Botan to kill her off}}.)
* [[Ax Crazy]]: What the AI backvisors are turning Dolly and Henry into, because [[Cybernetics Will Eat Your Soul]]. But truth be told, nearly every [[Villain]] and [[Anti-Hero]] seems to be going through a phase of this.
* [[Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass]]: Dolly, again
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