Cracked.com/Funny: Difference between revisions

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-fly-wall-look-at-cracked.com-christmas-party/ A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party]. Especially when [[Seanbaby]] makes the scene:

{{quote|''{{spoiler|On the heels of the command, a red and blue streak shot across the camera's field and slammed into Wong, sending both of them flipping into the background with a series of sickening thuds. It was Seanbaby. When they stopped rolling, he stood, now wearing all of David Wong's clothes. Wong, himself, was dressed from head to toe in a skin tight, red and blue, leather jumpsuit that I can only imagine had adorned Sean's body before the attack. Around the seams were tiny spots of blood, where Sean had stapled the outfit to the unconscious man. I thought about asking him how he did that, but I opted for silence, for fear that after asking the question, I'd turn around to find him standing behind me, fully prepared to demonstrate.}}''}}

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/most-horrifying-writers-room-ever The Most Horrifying Writers Room Ever].

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines].

* [http://www.cracked.com/video_18120_the-sex-offender-shuffle.html The Sex Offender Shuffle].

{{quote|''When it was clear to us that a careful study of dongs was in order, we decided to explore the many aspects of the dong phenomena. The popularity of dongs is unprecedented, and it is our responsibility to dive right in and try to deliver while such an insatiable public hunger for dongs exists.''}}

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/revisiting-old-school-text-adventures-as-a-jaded-modern-gamer/ Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer]

* Most of [http://www.cracked.com/article_16841_the-7-most-retarded-criminal-excuses-all-time.html The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of all Time] is hilarious, but number 1 in particular stands out: Someone tied pot around their dick and tried to smuggle it into prison. When the police found it, he said that it was simply "a misunderstanding".

* Anything involving [[Eldritch Abomination|Popsicle Pete, the herald]].

* [http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_40_if-every-famous-person-got-what-they-deserved/ If Every (famous) Person Got What They Deserved]: the #3 entry? {{spoiler|PRESIDENT [[Bruce Campbell]]}}.

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-baffling-food-mascots-all-time/ Seanbaby's explanation] for the Kool-Aid Man's [[There Was a Door|wall-smashing]] tendencies: "He's a creature made entirely out of tap water, sugar and a pouch of carcinogens. His body can't decide whether it wants to evacuate its liquid, run as fast as it can or die, so he just charges the nearest building in a desperate attempt at all three."

** Also, from the Burger King entry:

* From [http://www.cracked.com/article_17573_7-fatal-injuries-that-people-somehow-survived.html this article], starting with #6:

{{quote|According to Joseph, his friends had left the party reading quotes from the bible to each other and were on their way to assist the homeless. According to the police, the group was shooting off flamethrowers and wheeling a giant cannon down the street toward an orphanage. The truth is probably somewhere in between.}}

{{quote|Joseph was rushed to the hospital where doctors discovered the 19 bullet-holes in his body. The attending physician later testified that Joseph was "probably in severe pain." Dr. Obvious likely went on to say that the red stuff pouring out of Joseph's body was "probably blood."}}

{{quote|When the doctors at the field hospital found out he had a whole, working rocket inside him, there was the usual panic and screaming until someone finally calmed down enough to try and save his life. This was despite the fact that the army manual called for him to be dumped far away from everyone and treated last. Seriously, nothing makes you more unpopular to a group than having a live bomb inside you.}}

** # 3

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19446_the-6-most-wtf-special-edition-comics-ever-released.html The 6 Most WTF Special Edition Comics Ever Released]

** Dear fucking lord, that encyclopedia is hilarious. To the people that doubt the hilarity of it, it's [[Trope Maker|source of the trope]] [[And That's Terrible]].

 

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-guide-to-the-modern-moustache/ 10 Mustache Styles That Must Be Stopped]. Especially number two, the 'Finger Mustache'. The [[Running Gag]] of this article is that people don't actually look as cool as they think they do when wearing these mustaches. This represented by showing one picture of what you think you look like (which shows an image of a cool or stylish person) and what you actually look like (accompanied by an image of a geeky or creepy person). In number two, it shows the picture of the Finger Mustache for the 'what you think you look like' category. For the 'what you actually look like' category, {{spoiler|it shows a picture of a douche. Literally.}}

 

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-absurd-inventions-in-history-alcoholism/ Liquor] is the other lesbian mother of invention

* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-best-kinds-monkeys-drunk-column/ The 7 Best Kinds of Monkeys: A Drunk Column]

'''Moon Monster''': '''''REEEAWWHKRRR!''''' ''(snatches up one of the astronauts in its talons)''

'''Astronaut 2''': Sweet! SWEET! [[Worth It|This is why I became an astronaut! TO DIE LIKE THIS]]! ''[[Great Way to Go|EXACTLY LIKE THIS]]!'' }}

{{quote|'''Apache Chief''': I can't believe it! A moon creature, as big as the--

'''Superman''': THIS IS A JOB FOR SUPERMAN! ''(flies off)''

''([[Smash Cut]] to Apache Chief wrestling Colossus in space)''<br />

'''Apache Chief''': '''[[Crazy Awesome|INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!''' }}

{{quote|What. The. Epic. Fuck?}}

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship)]. The entire thing, but ''especially'' #4 an #3.

* Most of DOB's stuff is gold, but "[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|An Apology to the Town That I Turned into 'The Hunger Games'"]] is [http://www.cracked.com/blog/an-apology-to-town-that-i-turned-into-the-hunger-games/ especially brilliant]

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_18906_7-shockingly-dark-origins-lovable-childrens-characters.html This article] discusses the [[Carnivore Confusion]] of [[McDonald's|the Hamburglar]] living in a world where hamburgers are people.

* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17366_7-wtf-military-weapons-you-wont-believe-they-actually-built.html 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built] on the efficacy of Russian tanks; "Dammit, they found our one weakness; ''anything that isn't snow."''

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Web Original/Funny]]