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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-fly-wall-look-at-cracked.com-christmas-party/ A Fly on the Wall Look at the Cracked.com Christmas Party]. Especially when [[Seanbaby]] makes the scene:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/most-horrifying-writers-room-ever The Most Horrifying Writers Room Ever].
* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17270_100-unintentionally-hilarious-spam-subject-lines.html 100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines].
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* [http://www.cracked.com/video_18120_the-sex-offender-shuffle.html The Sex Offender Shuffle].
* [http://www.cracked.com/funny-2858-dongs/ Cracked Topics] on dongs.
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* [http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_143_if-every-website-got-dramatic-movie-adaptation_p2 Cracked's list of posters for possible movies based on websites.] {{spoiler|[[TV Tropes|Guess which site was #1.]]}}
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/revisiting-old-school-text-adventures-as-a-jaded-modern-gamer/ Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer]
* Most of [http://www.cracked.com/article_16841_the-7-most-retarded-criminal-excuses-all-time.html The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of all Time] is hilarious, but number 1 in particular stands out: Someone tied pot around their dick and tried to smuggle it into prison. When the police found it, he said that it was simply "a misunderstanding".
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'''Better Excuse''': "I'm actually an undercover agent of the DEA. I'm on a mission to find homosexual pot dealers by tying pot around my dick. Its called fishing, and its ''awful''". Hey, at least they'd give you some points for creativity. }}
* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/frosty-snowman-declares-war-war-christmas Frosty the Snowman declares War on the War on Christmas]. Crosses so many lines it looks like [[The Order of the Stick|the Snarl]].
* I nominate [http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/ Exploring the Mysteries of the Mind With Sims 3.] Basically, Seanbaby creates a nightmarish world for one fat, hydrophobic Sim and watches as madness slowly takes over. What really kills it is the final experiment:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_18464_the-17-most-unintentionally-hilarious-propaganda-posters.html The 17 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Propaganda Posters] mights seriously be the funniest thing this troper has ever read. Number 13 in particular. . . "If this were a smoking ad, you wouldn't be reading this right now because your dad would have died of lung cancer when he was 11."
** Number 13 is the image for [[Public Service Announcement]]. Now try to look at it the same after reading their interpretation: "If the ghost of chalk Hitler is so pleased by people driving alone, why does he look so terribly sad? Maybe because the stone cold pimp in the driver's seat just made him watch while his dick played hopscotch with the ghost of chalk Eva Braun."
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-baffling-food-mascots-all-time/ Seanbaby's explanation] for the Kool-Aid Man's [[There Was a Door|wall-smashing]] tendencies: "He's a creature made entirely out of tap water, sugar and a pouch of carcinogens. His body can't decide whether it wants to evacuate its liquid, run as fast as it can or die, so he just charges the nearest building in a desperate attempt at all three."
** Also, from the Burger King entry:
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'''Burger King:''' {{smallcaps| YOU'VE BEEN DEAD FOR HOURS.}}
'''Man:''' What is this?
'''Burger King;''' {{smallcaps| GIVE ME YOUR TEETH.}} }}
* From [http://www.cracked.com/article_17573_7-fatal-injuries-that-people-somehow-survived.html this article], starting with #6:
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** After that,
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** In # 5, we have:
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** # 3
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* [http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-self-defense-gadgets-your-mugger-will-find-hilarious/ 9 Self Defense Gadgets Your Mugger Will Find Hilarious ].
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* [http://www.cracked.com/video_18386_if-breakup-ballads-were-more-realistic-and-way-crazier.html Cracked gives us the greatest break-up ballad ''ever''].
* 6 ''[[Superfriends]]'' Villains [http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-super-friends-villains-that-didnt-give-4023252A/ That Didn't Give a @#%*]. From the increasingly lower "Amount of a shit given in regards to physics and reason" to some of [[Gag Sub|the madcap reimaginings of screencaps taken right from the show]]:
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'''Astronaut 2''': Weird.
''(rumbling, then a monster emerges)''
'''Moon Monster''': '''''REEEAWWHKRRR!''''' ''(snatches up one of the astronauts in its talons)''
'''Astronaut 2''': Sweet! SWEET! [[Worth It|This is why I became an astronaut! TO DIE LIKE THIS]]! ''[[Great Way to Go|EXACTLY LIKE THIS]]!'' }}
** Hell, the [[Not Making This Up Disclaimer|actual quotes from the episodes]] are ridiculous:
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'''Superman''': THIS IS A JOB FOR SUPERMAN! ''(flies off)''
'''Apache Chief''': ''([[Death Glare|indignant glare]])'' }}
*** "Colossus, a Giant of Giants" summed up in two panels:
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'''Superman''': Is that, like, live? We're in a beard?! ''Who's filming this?!'' Haha this is fucking stupid. We should be ''dead''.<br />
'''Apache Chief''': Hold on. I think I have a plan...<br />
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'''Apache Chief''': '''[[Crazy Awesome|INDIAN WRESTLING IN OUTER SPACE]]!!!''' }}
** A comment sums up all of it up perfectly:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19637_the-5-craziest-war-stories-all-happened-same-ship.html The 5 Craziest War Stories (All Happened on the Same Ship)]. The entire thing, but ''especially'' #4 an #3.
* One from the forums; both the [http://www.cracked.com/forums/topic/41555/the-ballad-douche-quadbike/ Ballad of Douche Quadbike] and the resulting aftermath are pure gold.
* Most of DOB's stuff is gold, but "[[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|An Apology to the Town That I Turned into 'The Hunger Games'"]] is [http://www.cracked.com/blog/an-apology-to-town-that-i-turned-into-the-hunger-games/ especially brilliant]
* [http://www.cracked.com/article_18906_7-shockingly-dark-origins-lovable-childrens-characters.html This article] discusses the [[Carnivore Confusion]] of [[McDonald's|the Hamburglar]] living in a world where hamburgers are people.
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_19298_7-terrifying-things-they-dont-tell-you-about-pregnancy.html This article] about pregnancy has its [[Nightmare Fuel]] watered down by some funny image captions. Like the one about "cheeseburger crotch" which shows a horrified woman holding a cheesburger with this caption:
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* [http://www.cracked.com/article_17366_7-wtf-military-weapons-you-wont-believe-they-actually-built.html 7 WTF Military Weapons You Won't Believe They Actually Built] on the efficacy of Russian tanks; "Dammit, they found our one weakness; ''anything that isn't snow."''
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