Diamanda Hagan/Awesome: Difference between revisions

{{quote| '''Diamanda:''' I even brought my own speech. *ahem* "Hirschfeld was the first man to study sexuality and was a founding member of the first official gay rights organization in 1901. He was outside of Germany when the Nazis took power, and his institute dedicated to helping gay, lesbian, transgender, and bisexual people was completely destroyed. [[Book-Burning|Most of the footage of the Nazis burning books were tomes from his personal library.]] Most of his friends in Germany either vanished, or were murdered by the Nazis." [[Did Not Do the Research|And]] ''[[Did Not Do the Research|this]]'' [[Did Not Do the Research|is the guy you base your evil doctor's assistant on.]] [[Precision F-Strike|FUCK YOU!]]}}

{{quote| I think this is one of those few and far-between moments when one of our silly little Internet review shows can say, without fear of contradiction or being accused of hyperbole, that '''my show is better-looking than this shit!'''}}

{{quote| Part of the reason I do these reviews is to open up lesser-known films to a broader audience, and I always hope that someone goes out and buys a copy of the movie I reviewed. And I hope that doubly for ''Battle of the Bone'', because low-budget cinema should be supported. Even when it's pretty damn bad.}}

{{quote| '''Magwilde:''' 4000 years ago, the Egyptians were building cities of gold. The Greeks, temples of marble. What were we doing? We were picking our teeth.<br />

'''Diamanda:''' Yeah, if you knew anything, you'd know that the oldest known human habitation is called "Skara Brae." It was found off the coast of Scotland and was dated 12,000 years old. And they had drainage. What were the ancient British doing 12,000 years ago? Oh, only building a human habitation that still stands to this day. What were the ancient Egyptians and Greeks doing back then? I have no idea because nothing they've built has survived that long! And whatever it was, I can safely say it didn't involve drainage. These things come in cycles. In another 12,000 years Bermuda will be ruling the world and most of the UK will look a lot like Arkansas.<br />

(A clip of British music over a picture of rednecks)<br />

{{quote| So, what exactly is the message here? That the body's sex can overpower the brain's gender? See, I did some reading on this story; the original author was a transexual. Now this might seem to be fairly obvious on the surface, you know, a man who gets forced to be turned into a woman, oooh. [[Fridge Logic|But, if you think about it,]] the point of transexuality is that the brain does not match the body, and the brain's more important, so therefore we must change the body to match the brain. Okay? This is the complete antithesis of this. This says, "You put the brain in another body, the brain will become accustomed to the body and it will be happy in that body." If that was the case, there would be no transexuals. This writer...has just raped their identity.}}

{{quote| "I just got finished with a family of five a few minutes ago. I beat them , raped them, I got the minions to beat them and rape them, I got them to beat and rape each other-- that was fun, let me tell you that-- then I got live scorpions and I inserted them into thier urethuras, and I made the scorpions grow to giant size, and then I made them beat and rape the scorpions-- which is hard to do when the scorpions are the size of a small Buick-- and then I had them hung, drawn and quartered, and then I fed them to the orphans in the dungeon. ''Those little basterds are never satisfied''!"}}