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First part of the season finale, penned by [[Steven Moffat]].
 
The episode opens in [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E10 Vincent and The Doctor|France, 1890]]. [[Vincent van Gogh]] is ill and screaming his head off, and the entire town can hear him. His doctor explains to Vincent's landlord that he's ill, but she's more concerned about his new painting. It's weirder than usual.
 
[[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E03 Victory of the Daleks|Cabinet War Rooms, 1941]]. The Allies have found a painting in Arles, and it's confirmed as a genuine Van Gogh. After seeing the painting, [[Winston Churchill]] gets on the phone to the Doctor. River Song, in a 51st Century prison, gets the call instead (relayed by the TARDIS) and breaks out after talking to Churchill. She makes her way to the Royal Gallery, and gets caught nicking the painting by [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E02 The Beast Below|Liz Ten]], who lets her go after ''she'' sees the painting. River then is able to procure a vortex manipulator fresh off the wrist of a Time Agent (well, not exactly...) after a bit of haggling, and, well, travels in time.
 
We join the Doctor, who's taking Amy to the oldest planet in the universe. There's a message on the cliff side that no-one's ever translated, but that changes today. "Why today?", Amy asks. Because of the TARDIS' [[Translator Microbes]], answers the Doctor. They open the doors, and see in fifty foot letters, you guessed it, "[[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E04 The Time of Angels|Hello Sweetie!]]". River's also left the Doctor some co-ordinates, which take the TARDIS to Roman Britain (102AD), where River's playing Cleopatra. As soon as the Doctor gets there, we finally get a peek at the painting; it's the TARDIS. And it's exploding. ...Ah.
 
Luckily, Vincent has left date and map references on the painting. The painting's name? [[Title Drop|"The Pandorica Opens".]] The Doctor insists that it's a fairytale, while River argues that if it is real, it's here, it's opening and it's related to the TARDIS going kaboom.
 
Cut to the trio on horseback, riding to Stonehenge. River and Amy have a Timey-Wimey conversation about their goodbye [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E05 Flesh and Stone|last time]]; "I'll see you again when the Pandorica opens," River had said. Maybe she did say that. But she hasn't yet. Maybe she will have. They move aside a stone and go under Stonehenge. Inside, they find a box carved with complicated patterns and symbols: the Pandorica. More than just a fairytale, then. Something's trapped inside there, a goblin or a trickster or a warrior soaked in the blood of a thousand galaxies. "The most feared being of all the cosmos", the Doctor says. Indestructible, can't be caught or reasoned with; it would just drop out of the sky and tear down their world. How did it get caught? Like all fairytales, a good wizard came and [[Foreshadowing|tricked him]]. Amy takes a moment to mention that it's a bit like Pandora's Box, her favourite book when she was a kid; all the bad things trapped inside it that came into the world when the box opened. Hell, even the name's similar. This arouses the Doctor's suspicion: Amy's favourite subject at school, the Romans, and now her favourite childhood book. Never overlook a coincidence. Unless you're busy, then always overlook a coincidence.
 
And it's opening from the inside, breaking all kinds of locks and safe-holders; what could get past all that? What could inspire that level of fear? And moreover, how did Vincent van Gogh know about it, since he won't even be alive for another few centuries? Well, Stonehenge is broadcasting a warning to everyone, everywhere and every''when''; the Pandorica is opening.
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[[Oh Crap|...Oh.]]
 
At least 10,000 starships -- but it could be 100,000, a million, a hundred million; the scanners are going into overload. A voice comes through; Daleks. Dalek battleships, at least 12,000 armed to the teeth. But they can surprise them; [[Conservation of Ninjutsu|three of them against 12,000 battleships]] and they'll be killed... you know what, never mind. And then Cybermen, too; but we can [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S2 /E13 Doomsday|turn them against each other]], the Daleks are so angry they'll fight anyone! But there's more coming through: Sontarans, the [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S1 E4/E04 Aliens of London|Slitheen]] family, [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S3 E1/E01 Smith and Jones|Judoon]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion/Recap|Roboform]], [[Virgin New Adventures|Chelonians]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/S7 E1/E01 Spearhead From Space|Nestene]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/S3 E1/E01 Galaxy 4|Drahvi]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion/Recap|Sycorax]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/S13 E1/E01 Terror of the Zygons|Zygons]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E01 The Eleventh Hour|Atraxi]], [[Doctor Who/Recap/S10 E3/E03 Frontier in Space|Draconians]]. And they're all here for the Pandorica. What could it possibly be? Everything that's ever hated the Doctor is coming for him tonight. River tells him to run, just this once, just run; he can't win, he can't even fight.
 
But they have the greatest fighting force in the history of the earth with them: the Romans. River rides back to get help, but it's not easy; the general has seen through her Cleopatra gig. It mainly has to do with the real Cleo being in Egypt and, well, dead (for 130 years, actually). But don't worry, a faceless, voiceless Roman soldier appears in the doorway to help. Who could it possibly be?
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Wait.
 
He pokes Rory quite apprehensively. Not to be rude, but Rory ''[[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E09 Cold Blood|died]]'' and was ''[[Ret-Gone|erased from time]]''. Turns out, Rory doesn't really have an answer either. He just died and became a Roman centurion. It's sort of distracting. He walks over to the sleeping Amy. [[Dramatic Irony|"Did she]] [[Tear Jerker|miss me?"]] Oh, Rory.
 
There's commotion above them before the Doctor can answer, and the sky above Stonehenge is filled with all kinds of alien spaceships. They're surrounded. The Doctor tells River to get the TARDIS to him, while he grabs the scanner and shouts into it. He addresses each and every single one of the starships: could they all stop whizzing about please, because "'''[[Large Ham|I!]] [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S2 E7/E07 The IdiotsIdiot's Lantern|AM!]] [[This Is Sparta|TALKING!]]'''". Who's got the Pandorica? He does, next question. Who's coming to take it? Look at him:
 
{{quote|"[[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S1 /E13 The Parting of the Ways|No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn]]. Oh, and something else I don't have: anything to lose. So, if you're sitting up there with your silly little spaceships and your silly little guns and you've any plans on taking the Pandorica tonight; just remember who's standing in your way. Remember every black day I ever stopped you and then, [[Chewing the Scenery|AND THEN]], do the smart thing. [[[Beat]]] Let somebody else try first."}}
 
And the aliens must have dropped the [[Villain Ball]], because [[Crowning Moment of Awesome|they all get the hell out.]] Well, for half an hour, anyway. To decide who gets to take the first shot.
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** Rory also gets one, too: "... and then I was here, a Roman, a proper Roman, head full of Roman... stuff."
* [[Call Back]]:
** [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E04 The Time of Angels|You should never put the Doctor in a trap.]]
** This time Rory is the one wielding a sword, unlike [[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E06 The Vampires of Venice|last time]].
* [[Catch Phrase]]: No River Song episode is complete without "Hello, Sweetie" (always in a place you would never expect to find it) and "Spoilers!"
* [[Chekhov's Gun]]: The ring that's been mounted on the fireplace is finally fired.
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* [[Combat Tentacles]]: A Cyberman head located outside the Pandorica has a bunch of wires which function similarly.
* [[Consummate Liar]]: As we learn much, much later, River is lying when she tells the Doctor {{spoiler|that he taught her to fly the TARDIS.}}
* [[Continuity Porn|Continuity]] <s>[[Continuity Nod|Nod]]</s> [[Continuity Porn|Porn]]: The Doctor's Academy Nickname, ΘΣ or Theta Sigma, first mentioned as far back as the Fourth Doctor serial "[[Doctor Who/Recap/S16 E6/E06 The Armageddon Factor|The Armageddon Factor]]", is part of River's message.
** The Doctor's "No plans, no backup, no weapons worth a damn!" calls back to "[[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S1 /E13 The Parting of the Ways|The Parting of the Ways]]", way back in Series 1.
** The episode is a "direct sequel", according to Moffat, to every episode except "[[Doctor Who/Recap/S31 /E07 Amys Choice|Amy's Choice]]":
*** The episode, from the Doctor's perspective, takes place very shortly after "The Lodger".
*** The episode also takes place at around the same wibbly-wobbly time as "Vampires of Venice".
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*** The Atraxi ("The Eleventh Hour"), Daleks ("Victory of the Daleks") and Silurians ("The Hungry Earth"/"Cold Blood") are part of the Alliance.
*** Van Gogh ("Vincent and the Doctor"), Winston Churchill ("Victory of the Daleks"), and Liz 10 ("The Beast Below") play the part of message couriers.
** A possible one to "[[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S2 E7/E07 The IdiotsIdiot's Lantern|The Idiot's Lantern]]", of all things, with the big '''I. AM. TALKING!''' bellow to every ship in the sky.
*** Alternately, it could be to "[[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S1 E1/E01 Rose|Rose]]" when the Doctor said pretty much the same thing. Plus the Autons were involved then too.
** River gets a Vortex Manipulator fresh off the wrist of a ''handsome'' Time Agent (the people Captain Jack used to work for). Except it's on the wrist, so not Jack himself unless he got a new wrist.
** The Doctor sonics a severed but animate arm to deactivate it, [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S1 E1/E01 Rose|only to have it come back to life and attack him]]. At least this time he realizes the possibility of it playing possum.
** The Doctor's fate resembles Merlin's (trapped forever in an impenetrable prison by someone who uses his own power against him). In the Seventh Doctor episode ''Battlefield'', the Doctor turns out to ''be'' Merlin. He probably should have paid attention to the end of that particular story...
** The Under-henge's background music also contains a lot of cues from the Cyberman stories of the Tenth Doctor.
** The Doctor's speech to scare off the alien fleet is possibly what River [[Time Travel Tense Trouble|will/was referring to]] when she tells the Tenth Doctor "Armies will flee in your wake" in [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S4 E9/E09 Forest of the Dead|Forest of the Dead]].
** In "The Eleventh Hour", Rory told us that Amy had him dress up as the Doctor. We learn in this episode that he also dressed up as a Roman (in the photo).
** So basically he's spent his life catering to her fantasies? That's gonna be one interesting marriage....
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* [[Large Ham]]: The Doctor's [[Badass Boast]] speech. And it is ''awesome''.
{{quote|'''The Doctor:''' Could you lot just stay still for a minute cause [[This Is Sparta|IIIII! AAAAAAAMM! TAAALKIIIIING!]]}}
* [[Legion of Doom]]: The Daleks, Cybermen, the Sontarans, the Judoon, the Hoix, [[Torchwood|the Weevils and the Blowfish]], [[The Sarah Jane Adventures|the Uvodni]], the Sycorax, the Silurians, the Autons and Nestenes, the Atraxi, the Terileptils, the Draconians, the Roboform, Slitheen, the [[Doctor Who/Recap/S3 E1/E01 Galaxy 4|Drahvins]] and the Chelonians (from the [[Doctor Who Expanded Universe]]) have all joined forces to attempt to prevent the explosion of the TARDIS and thus [[The End of the World as We Know It]] by imprisoning the Doctor in the Pandorica. "Attempt" being the keyword here. Also counts as an [[Enemy Mine]] for the Daleks and Cybermen in regards to "[[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S2 /E13 Doomsday|Doomsday]]".
** Of note is that the Atraxi, Weevils, Uvodni and the Blowfish are merely easily-missed extras in crowd shots whereas the Terileptil, Draconians, Drahvins, Chelonians and Slitheen only "appear" as name-checks by River.
*** River also mentions the Haemogoth, an obscure race that were only mentioned in a recent novel.
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** [[Heroic Willpower]]: Auton!Rory can't stop himself from apparently killing Amy.
* [[Scenery Gorn]]: The final shot of {{spoiler|the Earth hanging in space, with the holes in space exploding open like a Vincent van Gogh painting, as the universe is slowly enroached}}.
* [[Suspiciously Similar Substitute]]: Commander Stark for [[Doctor Who/NS/Recap/NS/S4 E4/E04 The Sontaran Stratagem|General Staal]]. Completely justified, as the Sontarans are a clone race, but it's still only the third time in the entire series, old or new, that the same actor has been brought back to play a different Sontaran.
** Since the Sontarans only appeared in four classic-series stories, it is even more justified.
 
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