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Dogma (view source)

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{{work}}
[[File:DogResized_2124.jpg|frame]]
{{quote| '''The Metatron''': I am to charge you with [[The Quest|a holy crusade]].<br />
'''Bethany Sloane''': For the record, I work in an abortion clinic.<br />
'''The Metatron''': [[So Was X|Noah was a drunk]], and look what'' he ''accomplished--and no one's asking you to build an ark! }}
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* [[Board to Death]]
* [[Bond One-Liner]]: Loki after destroying the speakerphone in the Mooby boardroom scene.
{{quote| '''Loki:''' All lines are currently down.}}
* [[Brick Joke]]: When Bethany take Jay and Silent Bob to a diner to ask their help, Jay propositions her in response. Bethany turns him down, but Jay persists: "What if there's a bomb about to go off or something and we're all gonna die? Would you fuck me then?" Mostly to shut him up, she agrees. Flash forward all the way to the end of the movie, when Bartleby is close to un-making reality, and Jay drags Bethany behind some overturned equipment to make good on the deal.
** Early in the movie, Rufus rants about the Bible being edited to say that Jesus was white, when he was, in fact, black. Then much later in the movie, Rufus reveals that {{spoiler|Bethany is the great-great-great-etc.-grand niece of Jesus. Then, stoned out of his mind, Jay responds "Wait, does that make Bethany part black?"}}
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* [[Crowd Panic]]: After Bartleby breaks Officer McGee's neck.
* [[A Date with Rosie Palms]]:
{{quote| '''Rufus''': You [Jay] masturbate more than anyone else on the planet.<br />
'''Jay''': Shit, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.<br />
'''Rufus''': When you do it, [[Ambiguously Gay|you're thinking about guys]].<br />
'''Jay:''': (Off Silent Bob's shocked stare) [[Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?|... Dude, not all the time!]] }}
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** Another example is the (presumably) Christian folk protesting pulling the plug on the John Doe {{spoiler|who turns out to be ''God'' ''herself.'' If only someone had told them that pulling that particular plug would save reality as we know it...}}
* [[Drives Like Crazy]]: Jay burns out the transmission on the heroes' car going around 100mph.
{{quote| '''Bethany:''' What gear are you in?<br />
'''Jay:''' GEAR?!?!<br />
'''(cut to hood open, smoke pouring out) Jay:''' Well what do I know about shifting? }}
* [[Dumbass Has a Point]]: It is Jay who recommends the idea of trying to get Glick to close the church. Even the Metatron is surprised. No one seems to notice that it's Silent Bob's idea.
{{quote| '''Metatron:''' ''"Good lord, the little stoner has a point.''"}}
* [[Dynamic Entry]]: {{spoiler|Jay and [[The Silent Bob|Silent Bob]] during their [[Big Damn Heroes]] moment.}}
** What, no love for Rufus falling from the sky?
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* [[Exposition of Immortality]]: Various conversations between characters evoke this. Bartleby and Loki idly discussing the tiring nature of raining fire and brimstone at Sodom and Gomorrah whilst purchasing handguns and their later argument about Bartleby reminding Loki of Lucifer.
* [[Famous Last Words]]
{{quote| {{spoiler|'''Azrael: ''' "But... I'm a fucking demon..."}}}}
* [[Fan Service]]: "''Candy Girl! You Are my World!''" Indeed.
* [[Fate Worse Than Death]]: Bartleby and Loki were forced to stay on Earth (Wisconsin, to be more precise) until the Rapture -- and then, they have to stay outside Heaven for all eternity.
{{quote| '''Azrael:''' Have you ever been to Hell, human? I'd rather '''not exist''' than go back there.}}
** This was fully explained in a deleted scene where it was revealed that Hell was originally "just" the absence of God; because humans believe that God would never forgive them for their sins and (subconsciously) beg to be punished, Hell gradually transformed into a "suffering pit" where horrible things happen -- things so horrible, even the fallen angels can't stand the howling of the damned.
* [[Flat Earth Atheist]]: Parodied.
{{quote| '''Bartleby:''' Here's what I don't get. You know for a ''fact'' that there is a God. You have stood in His presence, He has spoken to you ''personally'' -- and yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.<br />
'''Loki:''' I just love fucking with the clergy, man. I love it, I love it. Gotta keep those fuckers on their toes. }}
* [[Funny Background Event]]: While Loki and Bartleby are on the moving sidewalk in the airport, the nun from Loki's earlier conversation is apparently drunk and running away with a big mug of beer.
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* [[Holy Hand Grenade]]: Glick's blessed golf club.
* [[Homoerotic Subtext]]: Bartleby and Loki, so very much subtext, which is mentioned and played with throughout the movie.
{{quote| '''Bartleby:''' And quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.}}
* [[I Know Madden Kombat]]: The Hockey Demons.
* [[Jerk with a Heart of Gold]]: Metatron. When he first talks to Bethany, he's [[Jerkass|rather rude and snarky, and refuses to give her questions any straightforward answers]]. Later, though, it's revealed that he has nothing but sympathy for her. Jay and Silent Bob are more obvious examples.
* [[Jesus Was Way Cool]]: Even if he does owe Rufus twelve bucks.
* [[Jumping Off the Slippery Slope]]: Bartleby absolutely ''flips'' after he finds out about what will happen if his quest for absolution is complete.
{{quote| The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He's shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you... once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. '''Where was His infinite fucking patience then? It's not right! It's not fair!''' We've paid our debt! Don't you think it's time? Don't you think its time we went home? And to do that, I think we have to dispatch of our would-be dispatchers. (...) Don't let your sympathies get the best of you. They did me once. Scion or not, she's still just a human, and by passing through that arch, our sins are forgiven. No harm, no foul.}}
* [[Just Between You and Me]]: Averted ''and'' lampshaded.
{{quote| {{spoiler|'''Azrael''':}} Oh no. I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.}}
* [[King of All Cosmos]]: God is best expressed as a wide-eyed, giggling, beautiful young woman, played by [[Alanis Morissette]]. (Alternately, as a cheerful, fat old man who likes playing skee ball.)
* [[Knight Templar]]: Bartleby and Loki's original plan, which has [[Gone Horribly Wrong]].
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* [[Naked on Arrival]]: Rufus' entrance ([[Tempting Fate|Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know.]])
** Leading to Jay's Funny Moment.
{{quote| '''Jay:''' (to the sky) Beautiful, naked, big-titted bitches don't just fall out of the sky, you know! *[[Beat]]* *[[Shrug Take]]*}}
* [[Nay Theist]]: Bethany, who by now has seen the Metatron and thus is pretty sure God exists:
{{quote| '''Bethany:''' When some quiet little infection destroyed my uterus - where was God? When my husband decided he couldn't be with a wife that couldn't bear his children - where was God? ... To Hell with Him.}}
* [[Neck Snap]]
* [[Nice Job Breaking It, Hero]]: A [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9qAqwIW704 deleted scene] had Azrael describe that Hell was originally just [[Nothing Is Scarier|Nothingness]], they suffered by being completely removed from God's gaze until Humans made it ''worse'' by believing that they ''deserved to be punished'' for the smallest sins, which then turned Hell into an infernal suffering pit filled with the screams of the damned.
{{quote| '''Azrael''' I'd rather not exist than go back to ''that''.}}
** Also when Jay {{spoiler|shoots off Bartleby's wings; by destroying them, he had become human, and by crossing the arch as a human, he can be absolved from his sins, thereby bypassing God's judgment. He doesn't get to actually do it, though.}}
* [[No More for Me]]: Toyed with. The characters, including Jay and Silent Bob get teleported by an angel from the middle of the woods to a fancy restaurant. Jay looks at the joint he had been smoking and says, "Damn, I think this shit just kicked in!" and continues puffing away.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: Whatever deeds the CEO of the corporation did; Bartleby claims "[[Take Our Word for It|I cannot even mention them aloud]]".
{{quote| '''Loki''': You're his ''father'', you sick fuck!}}
* [[Not So Invincible After All]]: Azrael's talk of being "a fucking demon" meant nothing when Silent Bob smashed his chest (literally) with a blessed golf club.
* [[Office Golf]]: The cardinal in New Jersey does this.
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* [[Physical God]]
* [[Rage Against the Heavens]]: Bartleby finally loses it close to the end.
{{quote| '''Loki:''' I've heard a rant like this before.<br />
'''Bartleby:''' What did you say?<br />
'''Loki:''' I've heard a rant like this before.<br />
'''Bartleby:''' Don't you fuckin' do that to me.<br />
'''Loki:''' You sound like [[Satan|The Morning Star]].<br />
'''Bartleby:''' You shut your '''fucking mouth'''!!!<br />
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** Silent Bob throws the angels off the train, then points and says "[[Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade|No ticket!]]".
** Bartleby gives a shout out to the [[Incredible Hulk]] before he kills a police officer.
{{quote| '''Bartleby:''' Mister McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.}}
** Immediately after Rufus falls to Earth, Jay speaks up standing over the body.
{{quote| '''Jay''': You think someone threw him out of a plane with a message written on him like in ''[[Con Air]]''? Did you ever see that flick?}}
** After God revives Bethany at the end:
{{quote| '''Metatron''': [[The Six Million Dollar Man|She can rebuild you. She has the technology. She can make you better... stronger... faster.]]}}
* [[Sibling Rivalry]]: Azrael and Serendipity, technically. Serendipity berates him for refusing to pick a side in the war between God and Lucifer, believes Azrael deserved his banishment to Hell, and hates his "life isn't fair" speech.
* [[The Silent Bob]]: Three guesses, no prizes.
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* [[Translator Buddy]]: The Metatron, to God.
* [[Uncomfortable Elevator Moment]]
{{quote| '''Loki:''' "Our last four days on Earth; if I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing." <br />
'''Bartleby:''' "What's that?" <br />
'''Loki:''' "Kill people." <br />
[cue [[Spit Take]] from lady in between them] <br />
'''Loki:''' "Oh, not ''you''." }}
* [[The Voiceless]]: Silent Bob (subverted, of course) and God (who speaks through the Metatron because her own voice is fatal to humans).
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* [[You Need to Get Laid]]: People on both sides tell this to each other. When Bartleby goes really nuts at the end, Loki notes that it's just '''eons''' of repression being purged. "If only they'd let us jerk off..."
* [[Your Head Asplode]]: This occurs if a living human hears God's true voice.
{{quote| '''Metatron:''' Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the ''awesome'' power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode inside your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.}}
 
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